The following day I woke and got ready for work. I heard a knock on my way to the bedroom door and Laura entered with a worried look on her face. "Liz, can you please come with me to school? I am in trouble and the principal asked me to bring a parent with me today. Please!" she pleaded. "Alright, stop saying please. Tell me what happened." I asked. She looked really scared for someone that had a father who is way too lenient to her.
"I got into a fight, twice last week and I haven't been handing in most of my work at school. I am already past the first and second warning that I think I am getting suspended or expelled," she said in a very low voice. No wonder she looked scared. When she said she was in trouble I didn't think it was that serious." But Laura, what is going on? Why aren't you handing in your work and how did you find yourself getting into fights. I know I am not involved in your school things but you could've come to me if you had any problems." I said. I tried my best to be understanding instead of getting angry.
"I know, I don't understand a lot of things I am taught in class and I didn't know how to ask you. I haven't been a good person to you and I know you have a lot on your plate right now. Even though you try every night to be home in time for dinner, I know you are just trying. Home is a bad place to be these days. Dad is never home, and when he is, there's so much tension between you two. I know you told me to go to my room last night but I overheard your conversation about divorce last night, so nothing is going well at the moment. Nothing mom!" she said with a shaky voice.
I thought I kept Laura out of our problems but it looked like it was also affecting her. I guess 12 years old understands everything going on around her. Of all the two and a half years I was married to Evan, this is the first time she called me mom. I felt bad that she was caught up in the middle of all of this and to make things worse it was affecting her school work.
"Laura, whatever I am going through at the moment is not as important as you are. I am an adult and I can handle whatever is going on. You can always come to me and whatever is going on between your father and me, we will sort it out, you just focus on your schoolwork. Now, let's go see your principal, and hopefully, you don't get expelled or suspended." I said as we headed for the car. I called my assistant and told her I was coming in late before we headed for the school. I remember being in school and not once did I ever find myself in the principal's office. I knew nothing good goes on in the principal's office, especially when parents are involved. My father was away a lot when I was growing up, so if I ever got in trouble, I would have to bring my mother.
My mom would never side with me, or save me and I am pretty sure my father would hear about it in a second so I made sure I never got in trouble at school because it meant even bigger trouble at home. My brother Paul was always in trouble to the extent that he would bring my other big brother Mark as a parent because our mom was something else. I have decided to be better than my mom and try to understand Laura especially knowing that most of it is my fault. Maybe 10% my fault and a whole 200% Evan's fault. I know that doesn't add up to a hundred, but that just shows how much of a screw-up Evan was. So he was more at fault here and now even Laura is in trouble.
We reached the school and headed straight for the principal's office. I have no idea how it feels to be in the principal's office, so I had no idea what to say to Laura. We waited for a while since Principal Rollins wasn't in her office at the time. Usually, it was Evan who used to come to these things, could it be the meetings or when Laura got herself in trouble. I couldn't help but feel anxious as if I was the one in trouble. While sitting outside the office, Evan arrived and sat on the other side of Laura. "Good morning," he said kissing Laura on her forehead. I have to admit we do look like the perfect parents with our daughter right between us. The principal called us in but asked Laura to stay so she talks to the parents.
"Here goes another pretense moment," I told myself while entering the office. "Mr. and Mrs. Danielson, thank you for coming. I am sure you know we are here because of your daughter's bad behavior these past weeks. I am afraid we will have to suspend her because she is a threat to other students' wellbeing." Principal Rollins started. I didn't like the idea of being in here one bit but I hated the idea of Laura getting suspended even more. "I understand where you are coming from Principal Rollins, but whatever is going on with Laura right now is our fault and it's something that can be solved. Is suspension really necessary?" I asked.
Evan looked at me but I ignored him and concentrated my gaze on the principal because this was more important. "Yes, Mrs. Danielson. Your daughter is already past the first and second warnings. Our school has zero-tolerance for violence and we deal with every learner the same way. What did you mean by it is your fault?" she asked. Being called Mrs. Danielson wasn't sounding the same as it usually does. It was sickening, but it looked like she was going to call me that in every sentence so I had to get comfortable.
Evan gave me a questioning glare but I seriously had to save my daughter from getting suspended here so nothing was going to get in the way of that. "Let's just say things aren't great at home at the moment between her father and me, and I apologize that I have been focusing on the problems that I didn't stop for one second to think how it was affecting my Laura.
Can you please just give her another chance if I talk to her and make sure it doesn't happen again? If it happens again, then I won't stand in the way of whatever punishment will come her way, but now that we are to blame as parents, I can't help but feel like we are the ones at fault here and not her. We are the reason she did the things she did because she had no other way of dealing with what is going on at home." I said trying my best to reason with her
"Mrs. Danielson, I know that you are just looking out for your daughter and as a mother myself I do understand, but know that I cannot just give her a free pass. Let's do this, I am not suspending her, but she will have to stay home for the next two days. You do what you need to do and I expect her at school on Monday and I hope that I don't hear more complaints about her. "Principal Rollins concluded. I breathed out in relief and I was finally aware of how it felt to be in the principal's office; trust me it's not pretty.
"Thank you very much, Principal. I promise you won't hear any complaints about her." I said as I stood to leave. Evan did the same. We found Laura outside, looking anxious. She stood the moment she saw us coming out of the office. "Dad, mom I am sorry I know I did something wrong but can you please not ground me on top of the suspension? Please!" she said before we said anything. A girl Laura's age walked past us headed towards the principal's office and asked, "Laura, did you bring mommy and daddy to bail you out? I doubt they were able to by looking at your face." Kids can be so mean. "Oh shut up Stacy!" Laura fired back. The girl walked away and I looked at Laura and I couldn't help but worry that maybe she was bad. "Of course you are grounded, young lady," Evan said. I gave him a disapproving look and told Laura I will drop her at home.
In the school parking lot, Evan started the conversation. "I saw that look, Liz. You think she is not supposed to be grounded?" he asked. "No! Whatever is going on with Laura right now is our fault. If I could ground you, I would." I replied. I asked Laura to go wait for me in the car. "You are going way too easy on her. Maybe you were just supposed to let her get suspended, maybe she will learn her lesson," he said. I did not like his way of thinking at all. "Tell me something Evan, when was the last time Laura was in trouble? Never! Do you know what she told me this morning? That home was the worst place to be because you are never there, and when you are, all we do is argue. She was right about everything. She is just a child so sometimes the hard way is not the best to deal with things. So let me handle it." I told him a matter of factly.
"You gave her a free pass because she calls you mom now? Did you think I didn't notice?" he asked. "What does that have to do with anything? Laura has always been my daughter to me and I would do anything for her well being." I said walking towards my car. There are a lot of things I never thought I would do and arguing in a school parking lot was one of them. Since a lot of things have been happening lately, I had no choice but to add that to the list. My marriage has become all about arguments that it has become unclear if it can even be fixed. Do I even want to fix it? Maybe. I love Evan but I don't trust him and in a relationship love isn't everything.
But I have to admit that there's a tiny part of me that wishes my marriage could be saved. I called my assistant and let her know that I was not going to show up for work anymore. I got home with Laura and told her that I was taking her to the beach. I had the keys to Erastus' Beach house, so we are going to spend the whole day. She rushed to her room to change out of her school uniform which just showed how excited she was. Even I was very happy, and I just needed a good rest and just relax on the beach, get some sun and forget about my problems for a minute. I didn't realize Evan followed us home until he walked in.
"You are going to the beach? So she breaks the school rules and you take her to the beach? She will break them again because she knows you will not be angry with her but you will take her to the beach instead." he said. It looked like the conversation we started at school was far from over.
"Well, you don't have to worry about it because there will not be the next time. I know Laura and I know she is just being affected by whatever is going on right now. She will be fine. Laura has always been your little girl, every day you will get home and help her with her homework, you will have dinner with her and do all sorts of things together. How do you think she feels now that all of a sudden you disappeared. It's like she doesn't matter to you anymore like you don't know her anymore. I know how it feels to be a child and I can just imagine how she feels from time to time. The disappointment she feels every time she waits for you but you don't come home. So you want her to learn, she will, as soon as you learn to understand your mistakes as well. You are failing miserably at being a father. It does not matter if you neglect me, I will be out of your hair very soon, but Laura is always going to be a part of your life. She is your daughter, so please start treating her like one." I said taking my bag from Laura. One thing I have realized is that I speak my heart out, and when I start I don't stop until I have said all that I want to say. No matter how much I try to make Evan see where his mistakes lie, it's like he doesn't even listen. Everything I say just doesn't make a difference, it's like talking to someone who is deaf. So I give up.
I sent Erastus a text that I am going to his house and drove there without waiting for his reply. I don't know if Evan and I's conversation was over, and I seriously didn't wait around to see what he was going to say next. I just wanted to get away from everything, every argument, and everything that doesn't bring me happiness. So driving to the beach house felt like driving away from all the bad things. I put on some music and Selena Gomez's 'Lose you to love me' was playing. I felt like the lyrics were talking about the situation I was in at the moment. I drove in silence and I guess Laura also didn't have anything to say.