This chapter was meant to be uploaded a couple of days ago however due to worldwide events and the actions that took place over the past week and a bit, I had to postpone it.
What is going on right now should be important for everyone. It's far more dangerous than Covid and much more important than political standing or religious views. RACISM IS NOT A CHOICE. If you are reading my book and you think that the riots that are currently going on are unnecessary, then leave. If you think that the buildings getting trashed and the money businesses are losing is more important than HUMAN LIVES then stop reading. If you think that the police are in any way shape or form not blame for what happened to George Floyd then I would rather you never read anything that I've written ever again.
Police brutality is REAL, it is HORRIFYING and it is HEARTBREAKING.
I'm white and I have known my privilege a long time and have always tried to educate myself. However, after the events that took place, I realise that I was not doing enough. It's not only about educating yourself but educating those around you - your family, your friends, your coworkers. STAND UP FOR WHATS RIGHT.
I have unfriended, cut off and argued with quite a few people who I considered friends over the last couple of days, you cannot assosciate with people who do not value HUMAN LIFE and call yourself an ally of the black lives movement.
My heart goes out to the protesters and I stand with you. I will be sharing a list of petitions and donations sites on my wattpad Instagram much like I have been all week on my personal one but I WILL ALSO:
Give this space to any black writers who are reading this. Please, leave a link to your work below and a little about your book. I will be reading them and giving feedback and sharing my favourites across my social media!
If there are any black artists, graphic designers or anything also, leave a link to your work or send them to me at nobodygirlwattpad@gmail.com and I will also share them.
WE STAND TOGETHER.
#blacklivesmatter
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Holy shit we hit 580K!!! You guys are unreal. This is a chapter that I've wanted to write for so long but didn't know how to get it perfect - after a couple of rewrites and changing my mind I hope you enjoy!!
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Chapter 54
We drive for quite a long time, music softly playing between us as Trent tells me about his day in an attempt to stop my guesses.
The houses around us turn into trees and hills, any sign of people being left and wilderness taking over, the setting sun getting lower and lower in the horizon.
The nerves in my stomach were still coiled tightly but the giddiness coursing through me was making my toes curl. My body just didn't know what to do with itself.
Looking over at Trent, I realise that his knuckles are pretty much white and the muscle at the side of his neck is protruding quite harshly - at least I'm not the only one who's nervous.
I give up on trying to guess as we take a turn and head back into a forest, descending into the valley below through winding roads and breath held in anticipation.
"Is this when you murder me?" I tease, motioning to a sign that we slowly crawl past which indicates that the road isn't suitable for cars and that the property is private, "Are are we breaking in somewhere?"
Trent grins at me, unbuckling his seatbelt as he jumps out of the car and runs to the gate in front of us, his hands fiddling with something at the lock.
I roll down my window and stick my head out of, trying to see what he's doing in the dying light but before I can ask the gate squeaks and Trent lifts it, walking it forward with ease as he opens a path for us.
He jogs back to the car and jumps in, pressing down on the gas again to move us.
"You know I was joking, right?"
Ignoring my question, he leaves the car again to secure the gate behind us and I can't help but look around the forest in front of me in worry - was someone going to burst out with a shotgun? Were we going to get in trouble?
When Trent settles back into the car he takes one look at me and starts chuckling, shaking his head as he drives us through the trees.
"We're not breaking in anywhere, and the road isn't unsafe - I just put those signs there to stop other people from getting in, I sometimes come here to hunt and I'd rather not be disturbed. You don't have to worry, I promise."
Oh right, hunting. Normal.
"Oh, I wasn't - "
"Elle. Even without the necklace, I can sense it."
My excuses and questions all die in my throat as I look out the window, not wanting him to see the light blush that's taken over my cheeks.
He was beginning to know me better than I know myself at this rate.
My embarrassed thoughts stop filling my head as a lake house comes into view, the trees twisting around it almost in camouflage as though it had been here for hundreds of years. We drive past it and around the side before parking up, leaves brushing against the car.
I try to hold my worry down as we get out of the car, my eyes not leaving the cabin which now seems so daunting standing on it's own.
Did he expect... were we going to be in there? Alone?
My heartbeat picks up as I take a step towards it before Trent's voice calls from the opposite direction.
"Are you coming?"
He's standing at a small gap in the bushes, one which I didn't see before and when I motion to the cabin he laughs and shakes his head, nodding for me to follow him.
Oh, thank god.
I quickly jog after him and he holds the branches out the way for me as I pass through the hedge and when I break out from the other side it's like the breath has been sucked from my lungs.
The lake in front of us is beautiful, sparkling in the setting sun. The hills on either side seeming to reach up into the sky forever and the water to stretch out as far as the eye can see. There was nothing around us but silence, and a boat floating gently by a small dock.
"Do you like it?"
I jump slightly, almost forgetting that Trent is behind me, too caught up in the beauty of the place and the warm feeling that it creates in me.
"It's so beautiful, it's like a dream."
The grin on his face is immediate as if he was nervous of my answer, the relief shining on his cheeks, glowing. It's only now that I see the basket in his hand and something rolled up under his armpit.
"Okay, perfect," he mumbles, walking over to a flat patch of grass beside the water where he rolls out a blanket and sets down the basket on top, brushing it and patting it down as I slowly walk over.
"Trent..." I grin, watching him take out tubs of food, "Is this a picnic?"
He freezes and spins around, a wince following as he scratches the back of his head.
"It is... is that really lame?"
I giggle and kneel down beside him, helping him to take the items out of the basket and unpack them.
"A little," I tease, setting sandwiches down with the rest of the food, "But I kind of like it."
We sit and eat our food, watching the sun go down together, mostly laughing at how bad some of the sandwiches are as a result of Cole making them, but enjoying them none the less.
"If I'm ill tomorrow, I am blaming your best friend," I warn Trent while looking around the plates of food, "He will suffer."
All evening, a feeling of anticipation had sat in my stomach, knotting itself together repeatedly every time Trent so much as looked at me or our fingers brushed. I had constantly been sitting at a solid six all night, like a smouldering fire waiting to be lit.
Trent chuckles from beside me and holds something out to me, stopping my scan of the blanket.
"How about something healthy then, to even it out?"
In his fingers is a strawberry, big enough to not look dwarfed in his large hands and a juicy red colour. He motions for me to take it and my mouth waters - although I don't quite know if it's just from the fruit or not.
I know he means for me to take it out of his hand, but without even thinking, I lean forward and take a bite of the soft fruit, a sound of satisfaction leaving my lips as I taste it.
Realising what I've done, I timidly look up at him, swallowing my nerves along with the bite as his eyes watch me.
Or well more my mouth specifically.
His finger gently wipes the side of my mouth where I can feel a drop of juice sliding and he brings it to his lips, sucking his thumb gently.
My gasp is audible to both of us and it seems to snap us out of our trance, my nerves getting the better of me.
But I wanted to kiss him, and I wanted to touch him. It's just my head that seems to have it's reserves whether I like it or not. Like I still need reassurance.
"There is dessert," Trent coughs, breaking the tension around us and I laugh lightly, rubbing my stomach.
"I don't know if I could eat another bite."
I'm not sure what I'm going to see when I look over at Trent, maybe a cake or some mushed up dessert that our chef for the night has tried to create. But it's as if someone has punched me in the stomach when I see the item sitting in his hands.
"Is that..."
He opens the box carefully, placing it in front of us, his hands shaking slightly.
Pumpkin pie.
"I remember you said... that night at the party... I asked Mrs Grenway for help with the recipe before she... I wanted it to be perfect... I know it's a little burnt and probably won't be the exact same as your grandmothers but-"
"You made this?"
My voice cracks as tears pool, disbelief evident in my words as I sit, unmoving.
"Yeah, I um..." he looks at my shocked expression and quickly closes the box, moving it away from us, "Fuck Elle, I'm sorry. It was super insensitive of me I-"
I cut of his worried words with my lips, half crawling across his lap to wrap my arms around his neck, the feeling of needing to be close to him overwhelming. My heart bursting with affection at the kindness that he constantly shows me.
I needed to show him I grateful I am.
"You're not upset?" he asks, breaking us apart briefly and I quickly shake my head.
"No, it's the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me."
His hands clutch to my hips as I wrap my own in his hair, our bodies grinding together as I move closer to him, my mouth covering his again as I wrap my legs around his waist, kicking food beside us as I scramble.
There's clashing around us and I feel a little bad for making a mess of his hard work but it's soon forgotten when a growl like sound vibrates through him and to my core. My fingers work quickly, pushing his jacket from his shoulders and throwing it somewhere behind us, my skin igniting as it touches his. It's only when I touch the bottom of his tshirt that his hands suddenly stop me, breaking our kiss immediately.
"Trent, what are you-"
"Why are you doing that?"
His nostrils flare as he keeps his eyes closed, his jaw gritted as if he is in pain.
I let out a light laugh and try to move his hands, ignoring the question and the way it makes my spine straighten.
"Elle," his voice stills me, the rush of heat leaving me as I stop trying to undress him, "You don't need to prove anything."
Shock.
That's what I feel. Shock and realisation.
My immediate reaction to him doing something nice for me, something that I couldn't even begin to comprehend because it is so thoughful, is to try and please him.
Oh god.
Disgust flits through me as I try to pull away from Trent, recoiling into my own ball of self-hatred at the knowledge that I'm basically trained to do that.
"Hey, hey," he stops me, pulling me back to him, his hand bringing around my gaze softly, "You don't have to do that with me."
"I'm sorry," I gasp out and he quickly hushes me, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips that seems to melt away the darkness that I was beginning to wrap myself in.
"You don't need to apologise. I want to do... everything with you and would happily of continued right now," he lets out an almost comically long breath, causing me to smile, "Goddess knows I would have happily continued right now."
I punch his arm at the cheeky grin he gives me, my cheeks flushing at the thought.
"However," his voice softens, he golden eyes stopping my movements as he tucks away a piece of hair from my face, "It needs to be because you want it, not because you feel like you have to, Mia dea."
There's no use in lying to him, no reason to even try and hide the truth because he figured it out before I even realised myself.
"You did make quite a mess in your attack though."
I gasp and shove him gently, pushing myself away as I laugh and try to avoid the carnage of spilled food around us. There's relief in me when I see that the pie is unharmed and untouched, a safe distance away from the crushed items.
"Well, at least the pie is fine."
He laughs at my assessment and picks it up, putting it back into the basket, along with a couple of the containers that aren't ruined.
"How about we save it for later, right now there's something else I want to show you."
He stands up and brushes the crumbs off of him before holding his hand out to me, the excited grin on his face almost making him look his age for the first time and I quickly stand up, accepting his help. Our fingers intertwine as he pulls me down towards the water, picking up another blanket from beside us as we move and head to the dock.
"Isn't it a bit late to go out on the water?" I ask, giggling as I watch him try to carefully step into the boat as it rocks at his weight, his arms spread out beside him.
Clearly balance wasn't something all werewolves were gifted with then?
"Just trust me, come on," he insists, holding his hand out to me.
I sigh but do as he asks, shrieking as I step on to the rocking vessel and stumble, falling into him a little as I do.
For a moment I'm scared that we're going to plummet into the water but he reaches over and grabs the dock, steadying us.
"Okay, just sit there and stay still."
The lake is beautiful at night, there's no wind around us because of the high hills surrounding the area and the moon is reflecting off the water like a painting - almost sparkling as it flows. Trent carefully paddles us further out, his smile infectious as he makes me look at him the entire time, warning me to not ruin the surprise.
This was the most at ease I had ever seen him, the mask of the leader that he constantly wore was almost completely stripped bare; the constant line of worry between his brows was gone.
I don't know how far into the lake we are but Trent stops paddling, putting the ores down to one side of the boat as he motions for me to come towards him.
"Just carefully come here and turn to face the other way."
Shakily, I make my way, scooting along the wood on my butt as to not rock the boat any more than it has already been and I settle on the space he's guided me to.
Behind us, the cabin seems to be far away, pretty much invisible due to the lack of light in any direction, but instead of being scared by it, I almost feel at ease.
It was only the two of us.
"Come here, Mon coeur."
His voice is right behind my ear, soft, gentle and much closer than I expected, however instead of flinching, my body leans back, already knowing that he's going to be there to hold me. His arms gently wrap around my waist and I feel his chin rest on top of my shoulder as we breathe together, the peacefulness of it all settling every single nerve that I have.
"Okay, now look up."
It's as if the heavens have opened into the sky above us. It's like a sight that I've never seen before. The sky is filled with so many stars that I'm at a loss for words on how to even describe it, the clarity of them breathtaking. It's as if someone has spilled a tub of glitter in the sky, the beauty of it almost out of this world - it's barely believable.
"Trent this is..."
My mouth closes over all the words I can possibly think of, none of them seeming to be good enough to fit this.
"I know."
We lie in silence for a while, just staring up at the sky and the endless stars in it, in awe of the moment. Trent's fingers softly trailing up and down my arm, the goosebumps on my skin seeming almost normal to me now.
He must notice the slight shiver in my body and reaches forward, dragging the blanket he brought over the two of us and I curl it up and under my chin, not wanting to get cold and have to finish this beautiful night.
"Do you still come out here a lot?" I ask quietly, noticing the discoloured wood on the boat and remembering the overgrown bushes around the property.
Trent's fingers still and his legs tense around me, his heartbeat beginning to pound on my back.
When I thought about it, I didn't really know a lot about Trent. He was always so focused on looking after me and I was too busy wrapped up in my own issues to ever really ask about his life. Maybe he would start opening up to me now? It seemed difficult for him.
"I used to come here all the time before Michael died," he mumbles, his fingers resuming their constant movement on my arm and I'm grateful that we can't see each other; he would be able to see the shocked expression on my face and I had a feeling that he found it easier to talk to the back of my head.
"My mother came back with me once, but only to say goodbye to him. My father he-" his words halt sharply, the shake in them unmissable and I silently take his hand in my own and hold it to me, clutching it in my hands to stop it from shaking as he takes a breath.
"He never came back here. He couldn't face it. He was never the same after Michael... it hurt all of us but my dad... i-it changed him."
I can hear the pain in his voice, I can feel it coursing through his hand and into me.
That day when I had shouted at Trent, when I told him that he couldn't understand what it was like to lose someone without them actually going anywhere, to watch someone change... he had told me he did understand.
Because it had happened to his father.
Whatever happened to his family was something that he still struggled to talk about, that was clear from the moment he began talking, but tonight wasn't the night to ask him - I wasn't going to push him if he wasn't ready.
"Tell me about Michael, did I miss out on a better brother?" I ask nonchalently as I cuddle into his chest, loving how as soon as the words leave me lips his whole body seems to sag in relief and he pulls me closer to him.
"Definitely," he laughs and I twist a little to see that gorgeous smile lighting up his face.
That was much better.
"He was a complete ladies man, far more smooth and charming than I am half of the time"
I scoff.
"He was!" he insists, shaking his head as he looks up at the sky, "There was just this confidence about him, like he already knew that he would win any fight he went into or any girl would fall at his feet. I never once heard his falter in anything he said or any decision he made. He was going to be the best Alpha you would have ever seen."
Alpha?
"So, was he meant to be..."
Trent sighs, but his gaze doesn't move from the stars, as if he's looking for something.
"Yeah, he was meant to be the next Alpha of our pack. You're not meant to become Alpha until you're at least of age which is eighteen, the previous Alpha dies or-" his voice breaks and I squeeze his hand reassuringly, "Or they're no longer fit to be the Alpha."
His father.
"So, were you quite young?"
"Fifteen when I lost my brother, sixteen when I was officially Alpha."
"So, that was... wait how old are you?"
Trent bursts out laughing and pulls me into him, sighing into my hair as he kisses it softly.
"I'm nineteen," he grins at my shocked expression and shrugs, "I missed a year of actual school to take over the pack and even though I didn't need to be, I was held back a year so that legally everything looked normal."
"I didn't know that," I blush, "I'm not even eighteen yet."
No wonder he looked so manly - I wonder how much difference a year really makes?
"You are perfect, meine liebe," he chuckles and the heat on my face only increases, "My birthday was in summer, we're not even two years apart."
"That's true," I mumble, settling back into him.
My birthday was only a couple of weeks away after all, and it wasn't really that odd. I was just surprised that he had never told me.
"So, what does that mean?" I ask and he smiles, pulling the blanket further over us.
"It means sweetheart or Darling in German."
Oh good, my face can, in fact, get even hotter.
"Did you just learn all of these for fun?"
He smiles softly and runs his hand through my hair, his eyes shining in the moonlight as he looks at me, my heart filling with something I can't quite name yet as I watch him.
"As an Alpha you need to know a lot of languages so that you can communicate and keep in contact with the other packs across the world; there's nothing worse than not understanding someone in a time of conflict."
I had never really sat and thought about how many werewolves were actually out there, or how big Trent's pack was in the grand scheme of things, however, maybe I should have; it seems like he had a pretty important role in everything.
"And you learnt pet names to charm people over?" I joke and his lips twitch in laughter.
"No, that was Michael's doing. He used to learn them to impress girls, it apparently sounds very attractive."
God, I'll say.
Trent raises an eyebrow at me but doesn't comment on the scoff that sticks in my throat at his words.
"So you learnt them to impress girls?"
"Not quite," he says quietly, "I learnt them because I wanted to know how to describe my mate when I met her in every way possible, I didn't want to simply call her something mundane. I wanted to make sure that there were phrases from around the world that helped me to describe something so impossible to describe."
"And you've certainly found them," I mumble which only makes him smile as he presses his cheek to mine.
"Mijn ziel... There are no words close enough to even begin to describe you."
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ARE U JUST IN LOVE
PLEASE TELL ME YOU LOVED IT OR ILL CRY BECAUSE I ACTUALLY CRIED WRITING THIS CHAPTER!!!!! SO much love to you all x
I hope that this chapter let you escape from the horrors of the real world for a little while x