Vienna's POV
I groaned feeling the warm sun rays hitting my face, slowly opening my eyes the first thing I did was glance beside me to check if Ryan was still in bed or not and to my relief he wasn't...his side of bed was a little cold which meant that he hasn't been there in a while.
I sighed as I lied alone on his king sized bed, wearing his shirt which I myself got off him last night, staring at the ceiling I recalled the events of last night...which were enough to give me goosebumps.
But I'm just glad and relieved that he woke up before me because honestly I don't know how to even face him after last night because on one side I say that I don't want to be with him...that I want to go as far away from him as possible but then the next moment I sleep with him.
What does that say about me?
What kind of person does that makes me?
A person with no self-control?
Or no self-esteem maybe?
Because after last night it's clear that I say something else and I do something entirely different. But it's just that when it comes to him...I-I just can't stay true to my own words...which were that I want to stay away from him...that I don't want him in my life.
And if I don't want to be with him then I sure as hell shouldn't have slept with him last night...but I did.
I don't regret it...in fact it was another one of those amazing nights that I have spend with him but...it just wasn't right...it's seems like I'm playing with him...with his feelings, where on one hand I push him away and then the next moment I find myself in his arms, which is not right...I'm confusing him.
Last night would have surely given him the impression that I'm slowly accepting him back into my life...that I'm slowly giving in...which is not true.
Not true at all.
Or is it? My subconscious popped the question.
Because lately you haven't been doing much to get away from him...to leave him, She threw another judgement at me, not giving me enough time to ponder upon what she asked earlier.
Maybe last night was just a sign that knowingly or unknowingly...willingly or unwillingly, you are accepting him back into your life, She added putting me into a debate with myself.
No no.
That's not true.
That's absolute bullshit.
I cannot and will never accept him while he is still a mafia.
Sure if he leaves all this and comes back to me as the guy I fell in love with...as the guy who had nothing to do with this kind of dangerous world...as the guy whom I never even saw holding a gun, then I'll accept him with all my heart...I'll love him with everything that I have...for as long as I shall live.
But what if what my subconscious just said is true?
And I'm just in denial?
My subconscious is a part of me after all.
What if I'm unknowingly giving in and accepting to live my life with a mafia?
Am I really giving in?
Am I really ready to accept this kind of life with him?
Am I really getting so weak at the hands of my own love for Ryan that I'm ready to accept spending the rest of my life with a mafia? A criminal? Which I kept denying and was against ever since I met him again...since the very moment I came to know that he is a mafia now.
No.
I'm not so weak.
My love is not my weakness...rather it's my strength and this strength...this love itself will give me the power to walk away from the only man I ever loved.
But one thing is true though that lately I haven't been doing or rather trying much to leave him. But I just don't understand. What am I supposed to do? He just won't let me go...I'm not allowed to go anywhere without his bodyguards following me around like some lost puppies.
And also last time I had David's help to get away but now I can't get anyone else, especially David involved in this because I know that whoever helps me will directly be the target of Ryan's wrath...which I don't wish for anyone, so this time I'm all alone in this.
Maybe that's the reason I haven't tried anything yet.
Honestly I don't even know what to do anymore.
I can't run away because one thing I have learned from the last time I tried running away from him, is that no matter where I go...no matter to world's whichever corner I hide...he'll always find me.
And I won't have any other choice but to return back with him and then maybe this chain will continue...me running away from him and then him coming after me...how long will we both continue doing this?
That's the reason I don't want to run away this time.
I don't want to spend the rest of my life running and have Ryan chase me to the ends of the world...until I finally get tired and give up.
So that's why this time I won't run away like I did the last time...this time I'll do something that Ryan himself will leave me willingly.
I'll do something that Ryan, himself will let go off me...for good this time.
I don't know how long I just lied there on the bed thinking of some idea before getting up and hopping into the shower and heading downstairs.
"Good morning" I greeted as I walked into the dinning room and saw Samantha and also the twin sisters munching on some breakfast.
"Good morning..." Samantha paused putting down her cup of tea or coffee...or whatever it is that she was sipping on.
"And it seems like you had a very good night too" She continued teasingly as I frowned at her in confusion.
"What" I asked grabbing a cup of black coffee for myself which will hopefully soothe the headache I'm feeling right now.
"There..." She replied pointing towards me trying to show me something only she noticed until now.
"What is it" Scarlett asked raising her eyebrows at Samantha before looking at me closely as she was sitting just beside me.
"Oh there it is" Scarlett said pointing at my neck before opening her phone's front camera and handing it to me as I checked out my own neck carefully to see if there was anything out of usual and...
What the...
There's a hickey on my neck.
How dare he leave marks on me.
And how the fuck did I not notice this while having shower?
Was I so busy planning and plotting that I missed this very much noticeable red mark?
And now these three saw it.
God!
This is so embarrassing.
Ryan I'm going to kill you.
I cleared my throat with flushed cheeks before handing the phone back to Scarlett and sipping my coffee, trying so hard to pretend as if nothing happened.
"So..." Scarlett said teasingly as I just shook my head.
"So I think that I'll just have to change into a turtle neck now" I replied.
"And here I was wondering why he wasn't giving us a big lecture about sneaking out last night but now..." Samantha said.
"But now we know why" Charlotte said interrupting her.
"He really didn't say anything" I asked subconsciously as I thought that he was equally mad at them too for sneaking out last night.
"Yeah he didn't...he seemed to be in quite good mood earlier this morning" Scarlett replied grinning.
"And I guess we have you to thank for that" She added as I couldn't help the blush raising up on my already flushed cheeks.
"Scar, don't you have school today or any other place that you need to be at" I said trying to mask my blush with sarcasm.
"Today is sunday" She replied shortly.
"But anyways, as far as I know he seemed quite mad last night so how..." She added as I almost gasped at her bluntness knowing what she was about to ask.
"Scar" I said interrupting her as her sisters just shook their heads at her before digging back into their breakfast as she rolled her eyes at them.
"Excuse me" Samantha excused herself to attend a call leaving the three of us alone and as I was sipping on my coffee my gaze traveled towards the backyard where I spotted David talking over a phone call with someone and I excused myself too before walking towards the backyard as I still need to apologize to him.
"David..." I called out interrupting his phone call as he turned towards me before hanging up.
"Hey" He said with a small smile.
"It's good to see you..." I replied only to be interrupted by him.
"Alive" He said jokingly but that one word alone drained all the colour out of my face, reminding me how I put his life in danger by getting him involved in my runaway plan and it made me feel guilty all over again.
"Hey I was just kidding" He added sensing that I didn't take his words in a humorous way.
"But you didn't say anything wrong. I did make a big mistake by taking your help, I should have realized it earlier that it might create some issues between yours and Ryan's friendship" I said.
"But it didn't, I mean he was raging mad at me and for once when we were unable to find you for a while, I did thought that helping you has been a huge damage to our friendship...but then again I'm standing right in front of you, alive...so that means that helping you did no permanent damage to mine and Ryan's friendship" He replied with an assuring smile which did make me feel a little less guilty.
"But that doesn't mean that I'm willing to take that kind of risk again" He added jokingly as I chuckled knowing what he meant by that.
"And I don't even want you to do that...I have realized that I need to do this alone" I replied, murmuring the last part to myself.
"But anyways, I do need to say this..." I paused.
"I'm sorry David. I..." I continued.
"Oh come on Vienna, you are like a sister to me. No need to feel sorry, I mean your sorry would have made sense if I was dead but I'm not so...it's just fine" He said interrupting me as I just smiled at him.
"Thank you..." I said but I was interrupted yet again but not by David this time.
"Good morning love" Whispered the familiar deep voice as I felt a pair of strong arms sneaking around my waist and a chin rested on my shoulder.
•••
Hey guys,
I have started republishing 'Loving The Indian Boy'.
The first chapter is up, do check it out if interested.
Coming back to the chapter.
What do you think? What's Vienna up to this time?
Anyways,
Please vote, comment and share.
Until next time.
Love,
Crystal ❤️