Grandma's Dead
It was a Sunday night, and Bernice was over at the Formans' all day for church and dinner. Izzy had spent the majority of the day cooking for the family, to take some stress off of her mother.
When it came time to say goodbye, everyone was practically running to get Bernice out of the house. Red rushed to open her door for her, and Kitty ran out to hand her some leftovers.
"Here, Bernice," she said, "Isabelle and I made you a plate of leftovers.
Bernice gave Kitty a sugary smile. "Thank you. Oh, that reminds me, Red, my garbage disposal is still broken."
"Well, just as long as you enjoy it." Kitty said, hanging her the tupperware.
"Listen, I've got an idea. Let's eat out next Sunday. That way everybody can get something they like."
Izzy stood next to Eric on the other side of the car, a stony look on her face. "Do you know how long it took me to make that ham? That shit had brown sugar and pineapple." She hissed to her brother.
"Okay, grandma, time to get you home! Come on, Izzy, let's get this over with." Eric said, getting into the driver's seat quickly. Izzy climbed into the backseat reluctantly.
"Eric," Red said, "you gotta warm that car up for at least ten minutes!"
"Oh, Eric's a good boy." Bernice said with a smile. "It's just a shame he doesn't have a better home life." She got in the car. "You know, Kitty, when I was raising children the right way-" Kitty cut her off by closing the car door mid-sentence.
Eric started the car up and pulled out of the driveway, leaving Red and Kitty alone, enjoying the newfound quiet. Izzy was instantly jealous of her parents, wishing she didn't have to come with Eric and Bernice.
-
The car ride was mostly silent. At one point, Eric went to turn on the radio. Soft music came out of the speakers, and Bernice immediately said, "Turn off that beatnik music." Eric sighed and turned it off, which made Bernice say "Watch the road!" Izzy sighed and sat sideways with her back against the window, putting her feet on the seats in front of her.
"You two don't like it when I come to visit." Bernice said.
"Yes, I do." Eric quickly responded.
"We really do, Grandma!"
"You're both filthy liars. You didn't learn to lie from my Red. That came from your mother."
"See, Grandma, that's the problem right there, okay? Every time you come to my house... you spend the whole day criticizing Izzy and my mom."
"I tell it like it is."
Izzy rolled her eyes and sat forward. "Okay, Grandma, then here's how it is. You're mean! And I don't see why you have to be so hateful, all I do for you is cook and sit there while you critique everything about my life."
"Yeah, Grandma, I don't think being nice for a whole day would kill you." At that moment, Bernice fell over onto Eric. "Grandma?" Eric hit the brakes. Bernice fell onto the dashboard, still not moving. "Grandma?"
"Oh, God."
-
Back at home, Izzy and Eric stood in the driveway, mindlessly and silently playing basketball. Eric took a shot, and Donna walked up, catching it with ease.
"Hey you two, what's up?"
"Just shooting some hoops." Eric said, taking the ball from her and continuing to play. He bounced the ball, and Donna tried to steal it, but it ended up bouncing away towards the Vista Cruiser.
"Oh, I'll get it." Donna said, walking over. She picked up the ball and looked inside the car, seeing Bernice. "Hey, what's your grandma doing sleeping in the car?"
"Yeah, about that." Izzy said nonchalantly. "She's not sleeping, she's dead."
Donna froze. "No really, she's dead." Eric confirmed.
"What?!" Donna yelled, going up to the twins. "What are you talking about, she's dead?"
"I, uh, was driving her home, and then we yelled at her, and then she died."
"She died?! I mean, what did Red say?"
"Oh we're not telling Red." Izzy said.
"Okay you two, I don't mean to criticize... but are you insane?! You need to do something!"
Kelso came running up to the garage. "Hey Eric, I just gotta get my eight-track out of the car." Donna tried to stop him, but Kelso leaned in through the passenger's window, trying to grab his player. "Grandma Forman, can you just... move your leg a little bit, there?" Kelso's feet were off the ground now, his entire upper half in the car.
"Kelso, she's dead!" Donna yelled.
"Oh my god!" Kelso yelled, thrashing around trying to get out. He jumped out, his eyes wide. He started spazzing out, wiping his hands off on his jeans and running away.
"Okay, you two are in shock." Donna said, putting a hand on each of the twins' shoulders. "You have to go inside and tell Red right now!"
"Wait, Donna..." Izzy said calmly. "Can, um... can you do it?"
"Right now!" Donna yelled, pushing the two of them towards the kitchen.
They walked in through the sliding glass door, Izzy holding the tupperware. Kitty was furiously scrubbing the countertops. She looked up at them, and groaned. "Oh, great. She sent back the leftovers. This is so typical of your grandmother. Why do I even put up with her?" She took the tupperware from Izzy, and Izzy and Eric shared a scared look.
"Mom, I think you might be coming down a little hard on Grandma this time."
"You know what, Eric? She is just an evil, evil, horrible little woman. What did she say about me this time?"
Izzy's eyes were wide. "Not much."
Red entered the kitchen from the living room, smiling. "So, did you two get your Grandma home okay?"
Eric took a breath. "You know, the strangest thing happened."
-
"Okay, now here's the part where I get lost." Red said, leaning on the Vista Cruiser. "How did she hit the sidewalk?"
"Well," Izzy said quietly, "when we got home-"
"I opened the door for her, and-"
"And what the hell was going through your head when you did that?!"
Kitty looked at her husband, her voice calm. "Oh, just yell at them Red, I'm sure that their grandmother dying hasn't upset them enough."
"Eric, take your mother into the house, she's hysterical."
"Yes, Sir. And, um, I have to tell you, Sir, that when we were driving-"
"Eric, shh!" Izzy tried to stop him from telling what they had said to Bernice.
"I- We, um... we said to Grandma-"
"Eric!" Red hit the roof of the car. "This is no time to get upset! I handle this, Eric. Just take your mother into the house."
Izzy stayed behind, standing in silence with her father. He opened the door and the two of them jumped as Bernice fell to the ground once again. Izzy let out a little shriek, covering her mouth with her hand.
-
In the kitchen, Kitty and Izzy were bustling about, making food to take their minds off of Bernice's passing. Laurie stood by, watching them and drinking coffee.
"Sweetie, I am so glad you're here." Kitty said.
"Yeah, I had a final this week, this couldn't have come at a better time. I was really unprepared." Laurie paused. "But I miss Grandma!"
Kitty patted her shoulder. "I know, honey. We all do."
Izzy pulled some muffins out of the oven, and Laurie grimaced. "Iz, what is with all this food?"
Izzy huffed. "You know, busy hands are happy hands."
They all at down at the breakfast table, and Kitty picked up a ladle. "Say, Laurie, would you like a cup of chili with your waffles?"
"I don't know. Sure."
Red hung up the telephone and sat down with the girls.
"So, how did your brother take the news?" Kitty asked.
Red rolled his eyes. "You know Marty. He was talking about his feelings... and then he started bawling, so I hung up on him. I'm not paying long distance rates to listen to that crap."
Laurie smiled. "Uncle Marty is so in touch with his feelings. It's like he's completely self-actualized."
"He's a dumbass."
Kitty looked at her husband "Now, Red, honey. I don't think that you're really mad at Marty, I think you are just going through one of the five stages of dealing with death. You know, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance."
"Kitty, I've got two stages: anger and drinking."
Izzy raised her cup of orange juice. "Hear, hear."
-
Izzy sat in her room, blasting loud music and reading calmly. She wasn't registering any of the words she was reading, her eyes were just running along the pages. Her mind was filled to the brim of absolutely nothing. Every once in a while, a random thought would invade her brain and she would obsess over it silently.
Did we really kill Grandma?
I should have been nicer to her.
Why aren't I crying?
I want to cry.
I shouldn't have worn that dress just to spite her.
Seriously, why aren't I crying?
"Hey Izzy Bee." Hyde said, bursting into her room, followed by Eric. "Wanna get wasted?"
"God, yes." Izzy said without a second's hesitation, tossing her book onto her bed and grabbing a jacket.
Hyde watched as she pushed her way past him and Eric. He knew this was really messing with her. He wanted to help more, god we wished he could help more, but all he could do was offer her alcohol.
-
"Waitress. Waitress!" Eric said, hitting the table.
"Forman relax, okay?" Hyde said. The waitress of the bar walked up, her arms crossed. "Hi. Uh, we're gonna need a pitcher and five glasses."
"Yeah, and I'm gonna need some ID."
Hyde pulled his fake ID out of his vest pocket. "Of course. I have mine right here, but the rest of the fellas left theirs back at the military base."
"Gotcha." The waitress walked away and right away, two girls swiveled around on barstools.
The first thing Izzy noticed was their low-cut tops. "So, you're in the military?" One of them asked, her eyes wide. "What base are you from?"
"It's a secret military base." Hyde said with a grin.
"Well I'm Charlotte, and this is my sister Charlene."
Kelso leaned back in his chair. "Hi, I'm... Ted."
Hyde gave the girls a two finger salute. "Sergeant Shaft."
Eric raised a hand. "Call me Honcho."
"I am Eric Forman." Fez said with a smile.
The waitress came back with a pitcher and glasses, and Charlene pointed at it. "Oh, Sally, you can put that on our tab, and bring everybody a round of shots!"
Izzy sighed and got up from the table, going to sit at the bar. When she joined the boys here, she didn't expect to be forgotten so quickly. Sure, at some point or another one of the guys would go off to flirt with a chick or two, and usually it was Fez. She just didn't want to witness all the boys doing it so early in the night.
She rested her chin in her hand, and the bartender came over to her. He was cute--tall, with dark swoopy hair and stormy gray eyes. "Can I get you anything, doll?" He asked, leaning on the bar.
She huffed. "Um... anything, so long as it'll get me drunk."
He smiled. "I like the way you think."
Izzy heard a loud noise and turned around to see Eric lying on the floor, completely unconscious. She wanted to get up and help him, but all she could do was watch. Some guy was standing over him, taking off his jacket. "Anybody else, huh?" He asked the group.
Hyde shrugged. "Well there's three of us, so..."
Right then, Hyde and Kelso both lunged at the guy, taking him down to the floor.
"Those your friends?" The bartender asked, setting a glass down in front of Izzy.
She nodded. "Ugh. Yes. You know, they take me out to these places with them with promises of getting wasted and just hanging out, and then they go and do stupid shit like this."
"Seems to me you need to be treated better."
"Yeah, seems to me... that... too." She took a sip of her drink. "What is this?"
"Long Island iced tea. You wanted to get drunk, there's about five shots of alcohol in that."
"How much?" She asked, about to get up and take money from Eric's pocket while he was still unconscious.
"On me. And, uh... if you ever need a reason to drink again, here's my number. We'll do it together."
The corners of Izzy's mouth turned upwards slightly as she took the small piece of paper he was holding. "I'm Izzy."
"Nick."
-
During the funeral, Izzy sat between Eric and Laurie. Laurie was surprisingly quiet all day, probably realizing that there'd be hell to pay if she was a smartass here. Eric was still tired from the night before, and for Izzy, everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.
"And as much as we all miss Bernice" the reverend said, "we must remember that she is now in a far better place."
Hyde leaned forward and whispered in Izzy and Eric's ears, "You don't have to die to get to a better place, man. Just drive fifty miles in any direction."
"Shut up, Hyde." Eric said. Izzy just stared straight forward.
"Hey Izzy Bee, this seat taken?" Izzy looked up.
"Go ahead." Hyde sat down across from her. Both of them were on the ground with their backs up against the wall, around a corner from the main room. "How'd you find my little hiding spot?"
"You've always been terrible at hide and seek. I literally saw you walk back here ten minutes ago."
"Oh."
"How're you doing?"
Izzy sighed. "Everyone keeps asking me that. I... I don't know. I feel like I should be crying. I want to be crying, just so my chest doesn't feel so tight anymore. I feel like... you know when you put too many marshmallows in a jar, and the lid won't close, so you force the lid on, and then you can't get the lid off?"
"I think you're the only one that puts that much effort into marshmallows." He said with a chuckle.
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah."
The two of them sat in silence for a few more minutes, facing each other but not looking at each other, until Eric found the two of them and informed them that it was time to head home.
-
Late that night, Izzy sat in her father's chair in the living room, legs tucked underneath herself. She was watching the train set Red was playing with. The sound of the little wheels on the tracks put her nerves at ease, for some reason.
It was nice seeing Red smile and have fun, too.
"Hey Izzy. Hey Dad, nice trains." Eric said, walking down the stairs.
"Yeah. You know, I can't believe that your grandma held on to them all these years. I thought she'd thrown them away."
Eric nodded. "Yeah. She was a good egg, Grandma."
"Yes, she was. You know, when I was a little boy, I hated peaches and Mom knew that. So whenever she made a peach pie... she'd make a little blueberry pie. Special, just for me." Red looked up at Izzy, who was smiling softly. "You know, she was the first one to call me Red. And the last time I saw her... I didn't... I didn't say I love you. I didn't even say goodbye."
"Daddy." Izzy said, not realizing her vision was blurred.
"The last thing I said to her was: 'It wouldn't kill you to be nice.'" Eric said. "But I think it did, because she died."
Red smiled. "That could only happen to you, son." He put a hand on Eric's knee. "It's okay."
"I know."
Kitty walked out of the kitchen, looking lost. "What's the matter, Kitty?" Red asked.
"I'm all out of eggs..." Kitty teared up, "and flour!"
"Oh, come here." Red pulled his wife in for a hug, kissing the top of her head slightly. "Kids, come here." Eric and Izzy got up, rushing to the parents to hug them.
-
Izzy walked up to her room, taking deep breaths. She knew she was tearing up downstairs, but she was too stubborn to let anyone in her family see her cry. She opened the door to her room and saw Hyde sitting at the foot of her bed, going through an old box of Bernice's that was in Izzy's room.
He looked up and saw her eyes brimming with tears. "Oh, Izzy Bee." He said quietly, getting up and walking over to her. He pulled her in for a hug, and she felt the gates break down as she started to openly cry onto his shoulder. He held her there, rubbing small circles onto her back for what seemed like forever.
Finally, she let go, her eyes red. She wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. "I'm sorry." She whispered.
"What?"
She went and sat on her bed. "If you can't tell, I'm not... I'm not super in tune with my emotions. Especially lately."
Hyde raised his eyebrows and chuckled. "Really? Didn't notice." He shoved his hands into his pockets. Ever since Chrissy, Hyde had been telling himself he was over Izzy. He really started to believe it, too. But here... even with her red eyes and her messed up hair... God, she's beautiful.
"Do you remember what you said to me the last time your grandma visited?" He asked, sitting next to her. She looked at him confused. "You said 'I like to look for the good.' So, uh... What are some good things that happened this weekend?"
Izzy set her head on Hyde's shoulder as she thought. "Dad seemed happy tonight, playing with his trains."
"Mhm. What else."
"He told me how Grandma used to make him a little blueberry pie whenever she made peach pies. Because he doesn't like peaches." She paused. "I've always done that for him, too. A while back he said I remind him of her. Now I guess I can see why."
"Hey. I know something that'll cheer you up. Come on."
-
"Hyde, why are we at my grandma's grave? Do you realize how insensitive it is for you to bring me here?" Izzy asked tiredly, hugging her jacket to herself in the cold.
Hyde just shushed her and pulled her behind the headstone. He sat under it, making sure he couldn't be seen. They heard footsteps, and he pulled her down to sit on his lap.
"I'm just gonna wait over here." They heard a girl's voice say.
"Oh my god, is that Donna?" Izzy whispered. Hyde pressed a finger to her lips.
"I'm really sorry that our last conversation didn't go so smooth." Eric's voice said. "But look, that is not how I feel about you at all."
Hyde grinned. "Then why did you kill me, Eric?" He said in a completely different voice. Izzy started to laugh, and Hyde clapped a hand over her mouth to silence her. "I'll never forgive you!"
Eric looked over the headstone to see Hyde and Izzy. "What the hell are you two doing out here?"
Hyde and Izzy sat there laughing. "Freezing my nads off for a joke, man!"