that's life » s. hyde

[21] red's birthday

Red's Birthday

It was the morning of Red's birthday, and Izzy and Donna were in the Pinciottis' kitchen doing history homework. They heard a knock at the door, and when Donna yelled a quick, "Come in!" Hyde entered.

"Hey guys."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Well, it's Red's birthday and I gotta get him a present, so, uh... where do your parents keep your booze?"

"Pretty much everywhere."

Izzy watched as Hyde rummaged through the cupboard in the kitchen. "Hyde, I like that sweater on you."

"Huh? Oh, thanks." He pulled two bottles out and walked over to the girls. "Okay, Izzy Bee, which of these would your dad like better: blueberry brandy or peach schnapps?"

Izzy gave him a confused smile. "My mom's the one who likes schnapps."

He shrugged. "A'ight, then that's what we're goin' with." He looked down at the bottle of brandy before slowly sticking it in his pocket. "Eh, this one's for me."

Midge walked into the kitchen, beelining straight for the whiteboard on the fridge. "Oh, I see your father left me another message. God, he's an ass."

Donna scowled. "Hello? Mom, I have company!"

"Oh, hi Izzy. Hi Steven. Didn't see you there. Isn't Bob an ass?!" She scribbled something on the whiteboard and left the room.

"Okay, um, my parents are freaks and I'm sorry you had to see that."

Izzy shrugged. "It's okay. You're around when my parents act like freaks, too."

Hyde sat down at the table, and the three of them watched as Bob entered the room, reading the whiteboard. "Oh, yeah?!" He said, crossing out what Midge wrote and scribbling something down. "Donna, I don't want you readin' this."

"Dad, my friends are here!"

"Well, Steven can read it 'cause he'll appreciate it. But not you two girls!" He left the kitchen with a satisfied smile.

Donna put her head in her hands. "This sucks!"

"You wanna talk about it?" Izzy asked softly.

"No." She paused. "You know they want to date other people?"

"Your mom's dating?" Steven asked, eyebrows raised. "So where am I, do I have a shot?"

Izzy threw her eraser at him. Donna chuckled. "Oh, could you please date my mom? That'd make my life so much better, Hyde."

Hyde grinned and said, in his perfect Bob Pinciotti impression, "Eey, call me Dad."

"Yeah, but you know what the worst part is?"

Hyde sighed. "Watchin' your parents split up and knowin' there's not a damn thing you can do about it." Izzy realized she had no place in this conversation unless she wanted to be yelled at, so she turned her attention back to the homework.

"Exactly! And you know what else? My mom moved out of their bedroom into the guest room."

"Yeah, it sucked when my dad split. But, I can honestly say that my parents' divorce made me the man I am today."

Izzy chuckled, eyes still on her paper. "Donna, please don't go crazy and begin to think the government is out to get you," she said, twirling her pencil around.

Donna laughed, but Hyde's face was stony. "The government is out to get you, Izzy Bee."

Izzy laughed and closed her textbook. "Alright, whatever you say, Hyde. I gotta go pick up my dad's birthday gift."