that's life » s. hyde

[44] everybody loves casey

Everybody Loves Casey

In the Forman kitchen one afternoon, Hyde walked in to find Eric making a peanut butter sandwich.

"Oh, hey!" He said, taking a bite. "Get this! Casey just came by to pick up Donna, and he was out in the street just, y'know, revving his Trans-Am real loud? And then he peels out in the street and he started doin' donuts. And then, out comes Donna all smiling and, like, looking at him!"

Hyde gasped sarcastically. "What a slut!"

"Look. If she wants to date him, that's fine. But he doesn't have to be all loud and jerky about it." Eric sighed. "Jerky, loud, donut jerk."

The sliding glass door opened, and in walked Kitty, Izzy, and Red, all of them carrying grocery bags. "Oh, guess what, boys," Kitty said excitedly. "I entered the big wiener contest at the Piggly Wiggly. And I won a year's supply of all-beef hot dogs!"

Izzy giggled. "She's a wiener winner." Hyde and Eric both started to laugh, but quickly stopped when they saw the looks on Red and Kitty's faces. Izzy sighed and handed her grocery bag to Hyde. "Anyway, we're having a barbecue tomorrow."

"We're having a barbecue!" Kitty repeated, an ecstatic grin on her face.

Red groaned. "No, girls! I thought we were going to talk about that."

"Mhm," Kitty said, completely ignoring her husband. "Oh, and I saw Donna at the grocery store, and she said she's bringing her friend Casey."

Eric's head perked up. "What? No! I hate Casey. He's Donna's new boyfriend. Y- You have to uninvite him. Dad, tell her!"

Red huffed and turned to Kitty. "Kitty, you've done a horrible thing. It could scar the boy for life. Now, let's do the right thing and cancel that barbecue."

"No. We're having it, and it'll be fun. And... we just- we won't give Casey any relish!"

Hyde grabbed Eric's sandwich. "Alright! Once Casey finds out he's not getting any relish, he'll dump Donna for sure." He laughed loudly. "You are so screwed!"

-

"So your mom invited Casey over for hot dogs?" Fez asked Eric, sitting next to him on the basement couch. "Well that's a plump, juicy all-beef burn."

Kelso shook his head. "Ah, it's just typical women stuff. Like Jackie kissing that guy- Ow! Hyde!" Kelso rubbed the part of his arm where Hyde had punched.

"I've decided if anyone brings up any more stupid girl stuff I'm gonna throw something at 'em." Hyde said. "This time, I threw a fist."

As if on queue, Izzy came bouncing down the basement stairs, kissing Hyde on the cheek as a quick greeting. "Steven," she said, sitting on the couch's armrest. "I was thinking we could check out that new little cafe down the road? Buddy said they've got great sandwiches, maybe we can go the day after the barbecue."

"Yeah, sure." He said with a smile. "That sounds great, Izzy Bee." Hyde looked over to see his friends all staring at him. "I said stupid girl stuff. She isn't stupid."

Kelso sighed. "Everything reminds me of that kiss, man. Like, last night Rocky was on, and I was thinking that I'm like Rocky and Jackie is Apollo Creed. And she bashed in my face by kissing that guy!" He paused. "At least Rocky wins in the end."

"Kelso, Rocky loses."

"Oh, yeah? Well, why is he jumping around all happy?"

"Because he goes the distance, fool." Fez said.