It's dawn when Octavia runs over to Bellamy and I, both of us still standing outside the drop ship waiting for Raven to confirm a way to sneak inside.
"I just heard Murphy has Jasper," she says, slightly breathless.
"Yeah. South foxhole done?" Bellamy asks, as if psychopaths holding your friends for ransom was an everyday occurrence.
"What?" Octavia looks between myself and her brother. "Bellamy my friend's in there with a killer!"
Bellamy leans closer to her, "O, look around. No one's working. If the Grounders attack right now we're all dead—"
Octavia sighs before Bellamy has even finished talking and moves around us, yelling at the drop ship, "Murphy!"
Bellamy sighs and watches her with annoyance whilst I watch with curiosity. The most similar thing between the Blake siblings is the loyalty they have for the people they love. I admire that about both of them.
"Murphy, if you even touch Jasper, I swear to God, you're dead!"
"Octavia! Octavia I got this."
"Really?" She spins to face her brother with a hard look, "because it doesn't look like either of you are doing a thing about it."
"Hey," Raven quickly approaches us and keeps her voice low, "you were right. There's a loose panel on the back, if I can pop it we can get in through the floor."
Bellamy looks over at me and I nod, so he nods at Raven, "good. Do it."
Raven scurries off and Octavia suddenly looks like she regrets her previous statement. "Sorry," she whispers.
Bellamy looks at her and nods as she steps away. He looks over at me, studying me.
"You okay?"
"You're about to become a psychopath's hostage," I say to him, "so no, not really."
Bellamy smiles slightly, trying to ease the tense situation. "If I didn't know better, I'd take that as a sign that you care about me, Chris."
I'm quiet for a moment, deliberating. This might be the last time I ever see Bellamy Blake again.
"I do care about you," I admit quietly, never taking my eyes away from his. "More than I care to admit. More than I even...know."
Aware of the large crowd of delinquents standing only a few feet away from us, his sister included, Bellamy bravely steps closer towards me and tentatively takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over my fingers. The action, small but with so much meaning, causes my stomach to flutter.
Standing this close to one another I'm reminded of the slight height difference between us—my eyes can see over his shoulders, but I have to tilt my head back to look into his eyes.
"I know how much I care about you," he whispers, his brown eyes searching mine eagerly. "It's a feeling I didn't even know I was capable of...until I met you." Bellamy sighs and looks down at dirt between our feet. "This is something we need to talk about. Properly, I mean."
My entire body aches to wrap my arms around Bellamy, to hold him close to me, to press my lips against his...
But I don't, because I decide to do what I always do, and push those emotions down, burying them for another day.
"We'll talk when you walk out of that drop ship alive. With Jasper beside you and Murphy lying inside with a bullet in his skull."
Bellamy's lips twitch up into a small smile at my brutality and he nods slowly as he pulls his hand away from mine. "Deal."
I try to smile back, try to believe the scenario I just told him. But I can't, because there's a large part of me that is convinced Bellamy won't be walking out of that drop ship.
He looks down at the ground for a moment before licking his lips nervously and bringing the walkie-talkie up to his mouth.
"Murphy, I know you can hear me. All our ammo and food is in the middle level. You know that. You're leaving us vulnerable to an attack—I can't let that happen."
"Yeah, well in case you hadn't noticed you're not exactly in control right now." Murphy's aggravating voice comes out through the talkie, causing my eyes to narrow.
Bellamy looks expectantly at the drop ship ahead of us, as if he's imagine Murphy's expression. "Come on, Murphy. You don't wanna hurt Jasper, you want to hurt me."
I start to pace again, chewing on one of my fingernails as I go over the possible scenarios of how this could play out.
It could either work to our advantage—unlike most plans of ours—and both Bellamy and Jasper make it out alive or Murphy kills Jasper before Bellamy has a chance to get him out...or both of them could die inside, in which case I would happily storm the drop ship and feel no remorse when taking Murphy's life.
Crazy, the things you're willing to do for the people you love.
"So what do you say?" Bellamy continues, walking over to where I've stopped pacing. He stands in front of me and looks directly into my eyes. "How about you trade him for me?"
I can feel the defeated expression that falls onto my face, especially when Octavia grabs her brother's arm.
"No!"
Bellamy shrugs his sister's hand off him. "All you have to do is let him go, and I'll take his place."
There's a tense silence as Murphy thinks this through. The entire ordeal makes me feel sick.
"How?" I can almost hear the smirk in his voice and shake my head in frustration.
"Bellamy, if you do this...he'll kill you."
Bellamy looks down at his sister with a grave expression. "If I don't, he'll kill Jasper." He takes a breath before talking into to Murphy again, "simple. You open the door, I walk in, he walks out."
There's another silence, then a hiss of air as the ramp to the ship starts to open up, all the gunners springing to life and aiming at the entrance.
"Just you Bellamy!" Murphy yells from inside. "Unarmed! Ten seconds, or I'll put one in Jasper's leg!"
Bellamy hands me the walkie-talkie, and his axe to one of the guys standing nearby as Murphy starts counting.
"We'll find a way to get you out," Octavia says to him.
"I can handle Murphy." Bellamy says strongly, his hand grasps mine. "Get everyone back to work, Grounders are still coming."
Bellamy gives my hand one last reassuring squeeze before retracting his own, walking towards the ramp. I can't help but feel like Bellamy just pulled a piece of me away with him as he walks away as a sinking feeling burrows in my stomach.
"Five!"
"I'm here."
Murphy stops counting, and Bellamy takes a deep breath before jumping up on the ramp and taking two strides past the tent covering the entry. Barely a moment passes before a body is thrown out of the drop ship, Jasper rolling into the mud at our feet.
When the hiss of air sounds and the ramp starts to rise, I feel my heart beat louder as my hands clam up. Octavia crouches down to remove the gag from Jasper's mouth, and that's when I throw aside the walkie-talkie and rush to cling onto the ramp. I pull my body up, mentally cursing my lack of upper-body strength, swinging my legs over with a grunt and letting my body slide down the metal.
I'm tangled in the tent for only a moment before I push it aside and jump to my feet, seeing two shocked faces staring back at me.