Chapter 30 - Painful Love
Tris
I never actually go unconscious... I just lay there looking straight ahead at the wall. I hear my mother's screams, I hear my brother's yelling for someone to help, I hear my father try to soothe my mother and I hear Cara, she's the only one actually talking to me. I feel her hand stroking my hand, whispering reassurances to me. I focus on her voice. It's the only thing keeping me alive right now... Or at least awake.
I hear her murmur to me something about not falling alseep, to stay with her, and she won't stop thanking me in between all of that. Her voice sounds like it's muffled, like she has tape over her mouth, or I have cotton in my ears. Either way I can't really make out what she saying.
I start to shake when I hear a scream that belongs to my mother. My mind isn't strong enough to function what's actually happening...it's like it doesn't process any pain, or noise, or vision, or any of my senses, except for my sence of smell. I can clearly smell blood all around me. I can see fine too, but I can't move my eyes. It's like you're just glued on the wall across through me. My leg his go on almost numb, or at least I think it has... Maybe my whole body is going numb. I really cannot tell. The only thing I can actually feel Cara's hand stroking mine in a calming and relaxing way. It's really hard to not fall asleep, I'm fighting with all the energy I have left not to. I'm determined not to fall asleep.
I will not fall asleep.
I will not fall asleep.
I.
Will.
Not.
Fall.
Asleep.
Andrew
All of this is happening too fast.
David basically beats Tris so much that she's more dead than alive.
David tries to shoot Cara.
Tris sacrifices herself and gets shot three times instead of Cara.
Natalie's water breaks from all of the commotion.
"Deep breaths, Natalie. Focus on my breathing and have it match yours. Come on. It's okay. You can do it." I encourage my wife.
I don't care if it's my baby or his, I still love her and the baby she's carrying. That will never change.
"IT HURTS!" She sobs. "I can't do this. I can't do this. I CAN NOT DO THIS!" She screams in pain.
"Yes you can." I try to keep my voice calm for her sake. "Your doing fine. You'll be okay. Just keep doing deep breaths."
She finally matches her breathing to mine. She eventually calms down as the contraction ends and rests her head on the bars and just looks at the floor.
"Stay with me Tris. Thank you so much. Don't fall asleep please. Stay awake. Thank you so much. Stay with me." I hear Cara murmur to Tris stroking her hand over and over again; the trail of her tears going down her cheeks faster by the second.
My daughter is so selfless, so brave. Just like her mother.
Cara
I have no words.
She just sacrificed herself for me and my daughter.
I just met her again for the first time like a week ago and she offers to die for me.
Being in this situation I know one thing:
Don't let her fall asleep.
Yet again, if we were actually in a hospital right now, we could hook her up to a heart monitor, get the bullets out of her leg, wrap her leg tightly to get her blood to clot and restart her heart if needed.
I'm in a cell with a partially torn blanket and little water as my only resources.
"Stay with m-e Tris. Th-ank you so mu-ch. I lo-ve you. Please don't fall asle-ep. Stay wit-h me, ple-ase." I choke on my my words.
I ignore the blood on her hand try to suthe her by stroking her hand so she'll either stop trembling, or so that if she's actually dying, she will hopefully have a peaceful thought.
I start to cry really hard. For all I know, she could be dying right now.
She could be dying because of me.
Why does she always have to be so selfless?
I check her pulse on her wrist and it surprises me. I was expecting her pulse to be faint, but its not. It's strong; a little fast, but it's strong.
She's just staring at the wall in complete shock. She finally stopped shaking, and I don't know if that's good or not.
I'm extremely concerned about her leg. It's one hundred percent dark red with blood; no skin can be seen. There's a pool of dark red around her leg that has to be almost two feet diameter. It's bleeding too much. She could die from blood loss.
I don't want to hurt her, but I have to try and wrap it with something.
It's going to cause her tons of pain, but she's bleeding so much that if I don't she could be dead in minutes.
I take a torn up blanket and rip a piece off of it, then I take my water and dip the ripped blanket piece in it. As gently as I can, I let the water drip off of the blanket and onto her leg. She winces and starts to shake.
"I'm sorry, Tris. I've got to clean it. You will be okay, I promise." I whisper in her ear.
I gently rub the damp blanket strip on her leg, trying to get the blood that has dried off as gently as I can. Every time I do get a small section, her leg continues to bleed, making it like I barely did anything.
It's not working, it's only causing her pain. She won't stop shaking, so I decide to stop.
It's bleeding way to much. The puddle on the floor keeps getting bigger and a deeper shade of red. She seems more dead than alive right now.
Know it's going to cause her tons of pain, but I have to wrap her leg. If I don't, she could bleed to death in minutes.
"I'm sorry, Tris. Thank you so much. I'm trying to help. Just keep breathing and don't fall asleep yet, please." I beg with tears going down my face like crazy.
"Tris, your leg is bleeding badly so I'm going to try and wrap it with the blanket to try and get your blood to clot, okay?" I tell her.
She barely nods, but I can tell that she does.
I can't decide how I should wrap it. All of the blanket that is left is like 1 yard by a little less that 2 yards. Big enough for her leg, but not for her ankle.
That's good, but there's one problem... Her ankle is bleeding the worst. It defiantly needs to be wrapped. Maybe I should rip off another strip and then use that on her ankle, then then bigger piece in her calf. But then the bullet at the top of her calf wouldn't be covered.
I don't have much time! She's here bleeding in pain! I don't have time to decide everything I do for an hour! She could be dead if I don't do anything in five minutes!
I rip off a little strip around an inch in size from the light gray blanket for her ankle. I decide to wrap that first.
"I'm going to start, Tris. Okay?"
She does a small nod again, moving her eyes finally from the wall to me. Her look makes my heart melt. She does the unexpected for someone who's in this much pain; she smiles at me. A small, but noticeable smile.
It's hard to believe that I'm only months older than her and are facing such different situations in life. I'm pregnant and a nurse while she's been held captive for years, kept from her lover back home where everyone thinks she's dead. Thinking all of this, I give a small sad smile back at her then get to work on her leg.
Gently, I pick up her foot and move the shackle up causing her to wince.
Why the hell did David chain her to her cell? It just makes no sense...
Focus Cara! That's not the main problem right now!
It's in a hard spot to wrap. The bullet went right where her foot and leg attach, it's just missed her ankle bone by centimeters. That would've been really bad.
I take the strip and put the middle over the bullet and tie wrap it around her leg. She jumps and whimpers in pain. My heart breaks.
I feel guilty. I'm the one who caused her to go through this. I never have a problem helping patients in pain and crying out like she is back in the Erudite hospital...
But this is way different situation.
"Deep breaths." I tell her and myself. I need to stay strong for her sake.
She closes her eyes still shaking and starts to cry. I've never seen her so weak.
I wrap the two ends together and make a loose knot that I need to tighten.
"Deep breath, Tris." I say taking a breath myself.
She cries out in agony as I tighten the knot as much as I can and then knot it again to keep it from coming out. She's shaking really bad with tears going down her face. Her breaths are uneven and very shaky and she has her eyes closed tightly.
I let her catch her breath for a few seconds, but her whole leg is still bleeding erratically and needs to be attended to as well.
"I'm going to wrap the rest of your leg now, okay?"
She shakes her head no. She's trembling really badly and sobbing. It's obvious that the pain has taken over her body by her actions.
"The worst part is over, Tris. It won't be as bad now. I promise."
She shakes her head no again and murmurs something I can't hear. Maybe she was just moving her lips. Still, I listen closer.
"Please no. Please no. Please no." She says over and over again.
I take her hand in mine and stroke it with my thumb. "The worst part is over. It's bleeding really badly Tris. You could die if you bleed any more right now. It has to be wrapped." I plead.
She shows no reaction and stops murmuring. She's still shaking though, just a little less than before.
I hear Natalie suck in a breath from her cell. I completely forgot that she is in labor right now. She's hold her stomach as Andrew and Caleb encourage her. She lets out a loud whine followed by a groan of pain.
That's going to be me in a few months.
Hopefully I'm not here when that is me though...
The thought sends chills down my body.
"Deep breaths Natalie! Your doing good!" I yell over to her to show her that I'm here to support her too.
Oh the joys of being the only thing close to a doctor in the room...
Ha! Note the sarcasm.
"Okay, Tris? I know it hurts, but it needs to have pressure applied. Your already loosing too much blood." I plead with her.
She shakily nods.
I can hear Caleb and Andrew supporting Natalie while I'm here for Tris. I know that they care about her too, but I think Natalie needs the verbal encouragement more now unlike Tris needs the medical help that I can try to give her.
I'm her last and only hope.
She is laying on her right side with her left leg on top of her right and she's as close as she can to my cell between the bars.
I take the remainder of the torn light grey blanket and lay it over her leg, then I as gently as possible lift up her leg and make sure that the middle of the blanket is across the middle of her calf. I make a loose knot and get ready to tighten it.
"Deep breath Tris!" I say trying to encourage her to stay strong.
I pull it tight as she cries out in pain but not as loud as the last time. I knot the blanket again to keep it from coming out and sigh glad that it's over and her leg is wrapped. The blanket strip around her ankle is already a deep red.
"It's done. It's okay. It's over now. It's okay." I lay down next to her holding her hand.
Someone comes in the room and turns off the lights then leaves signaling that it's time for bed.
"Tris. You sacrificed your life for me and the baby! I don't know how many times I can thank you and still feel okay with myself. How could I ever repay you?" I sob.
"You j...just did." Her voice is still shaky.
We lay there in silence with my hands and her left hand resting on my stomach. She is very awake tonight. Probably from all of the commotion that has gone on today. Every time she kicks I feel it over by Tris's hand. A tear escapes my eye.
She already loves her brave, smart, and selfless Aunt.
A/N-
Hi humans!
So, pretty intense chapter. They are going to keep getting more intense as this fanfic progresses, so BEWARE! *wiggles fingers mysteriously*
What do you guys think of this so far? I've had a ton of positive comments, and am trying to respond to all of them that I can, but my Wattpad app on my iPad Mini hates me and will only let me comment on my story when it feels like it'll let me. (I do everything on my IPad mini because long story short my laptop is a pain.)
Anyway, I have concerts the next 2 nights for school, so don't expect me to update until Friday or the weekend. I would be surprised if I updated before then.
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