A/N: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I dedicate this special chapter to your moms, to those of you who are already moms and to those who feel like moms to other people.
Medyo intense ang mga nangyari sa nagdaang chapters kaya cooldown muna tayo ngayon. Enjoy reading!
LORELEI
MY MOM passed away when I was still a child. Medyo vague ang mga alaala ko sa kanya. But my heart knows that I miss her dearly. I miss how she carries me in her arms. I miss how she calls me "Lori." If I had known that she'd be gone, sinulit ko na sana ang mga panahong magkasama kami noong bata pa ako.
Today is the first Mother's Day that I'm away from home. My dad Walter and I used to visit my mom's grave to pay our respects. Isa 'yon sa mga piling moment na magka-bonding kami ni papa. He sometimes tells me stories about my mom—how I look like her, how he can see her in my eyes, and how stubborn my mom was. Like mother, like daughter.
Since I can't visit her today, I'd offer my prayers to her later.
Lumabas ako ng kuwarto at nakitang nakaupo sa couch ang malaking teddy bear ko. Loki thought that my teddy was already his. Remember? My dad brought that giant stuffed toy when he visited my apartment. After getting annoyed at him, inihagis ko mula sa aking kwarto ang teddy bear at nasalo ni Loki sa sala. He later named it "Theodore."
Freya jumped on the couch and sat at the lap of Theodore. That teddy bear was one of the few things that remind me of my mom. She gave it to me as a gift when I was five or six. Since she was gone, lagi kong katabing matulog ang teddy bear na 'yan noon. I felt that my mom was watching over me as I slept. I felt protected.
"My sweet Loki, don't you have something to say to your mom?"
I found Loki lying on the couch. He was still in his pajamas. May binabasa siyang libro, I can't read the title from where I stood. Nakapatong sa center table ang kanyang phone at naka-loudspeaker pa kaya dinig na dinig ko ang kausap niya.
The female voice was familiar. Was that his mom, Tita Frigette?
"Congratulations, you're still alive today," Loki answered drily. Why was he talking to his mom like that? "Is that what you wanna hear from me, ma?"
Narinig kong napasinghal ang kanyang mama. "Nakalimutan mo na ba kung ano'ng araw ngayon? You're smart, Loki. You should know what day it is today~"
"Today is Sunday," Loki replied, turning the page of his book. "I don't need to be smart to know what today is. Anyone who has a calendar can answer your question."
"Alam naman natin na Sunday today. But what's special about it?"
"I can say with absolutely certainty that your birthday isn't today," Loki answered, darting a glance at his phone. "Dad's birthday is four months away. My birthday is in January next year. Luthor's birthday is... I don't know? Does he even have a birthday? Didn't he just magically emerge from a pentagram then you picked him up?"
And that is today's special episode of "Why I Hate Brother?"
Napa-facepalm na lang ako. Umagang-umaga, heto agad ang bubungad sa akin. Loki seemed to be oblivious kung ano ang isine-celebrate ngayong araw na 'to. Knowing him, he doesn't care about these special days. Magmula Valentine's Day hanggang Christmas Day, he's acting as if they're not-so-important celebrations in our lives.
He doesn't know how lucky he is na nakakausap pa niya ang kanyang mama sa araw na 'to. Some people would trade anything in exchange for a moment with their late moms. Kung ako ang nasa lugar niya, I would repeatedly say Happy Mother's Day and tell my mom how much I love her.
"Happy Mother's Day, Tita!" sigaw ko nang pumunta ako sa couch. Umupo ako sa tabi ni Theodore at hinaplos-haplos si Freya. Loki glared at me with knitted eyebrows.
"Is that Lorelei? Oh, thank you, sweetie! Mabuti pa ang kasama mo, naisipan akong i-greet. If Lorelei were to be my daughter-in-law, I won't complain. Mabait, maganda tapos thoughtful pa."
I felt my cheeks turn red like tomatoes. I don't know what to say about the compliments that tita gave.
Ibinaba ni Loki ang binabasa niyang libro at napatingin sa kanyang phone. "Ah, today's one of those obligatory celebrations to honor a member of our family. I don't understand why we have to—"
"Just greet your mother!" I hissed at him.
Loki sighed. "Happy Mother's Day, mom. Thank you... for everything."
See? Gano'n lang ang sasabihin niya, ang dami-dami pa niyang pasakalye.
"Wait a minute." Nagbato ng kunot-noong tingin sa akin si Loki. "Is there such thing as Brother's Day? Am I also required to greet Luthor—"
And there goes his rants about his brother again. I chose to filter his words and focus on scratching Freya's tummy. Ang pag-meow lang ng alaga namin ang naririnig ko. Loki's voice sounded like an inaudible background noise.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Nagulat si Freya nang maramdaman ang pag-vibrate ng aking phone. I checked to see what that was. May incoming voice call mula sa group chat namin?
I don't know kung na-share ko na 'to dati, but Loki, Jamie, Alistair and I have a GC on Messenger. Si Jamie ang pinakamaingay roon. Lagi niyang mine-mention si Loki kapag naggu-good morning o good night. Ito namang si Loki, laging nagsi-seen. Once in a blue moon lang siyang mag-chat, tapos laging "K" pa o thumbs up ang sine-send.
Tumayo ako sabay sagot sa tawag. Loki's still in another call kaya siguro hindi niya na-receive ang notif.
"Hello?"
"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY SA MGA MAMA N'YO!"
Inilayo ko nang kaunti ang aking phone sa tenga dahil sa sobrang lakas ng boses ni Jamie. I looked at my phone screen. Si Loki lang ang hindi nag-join sa voice call naming apat. He's still bickering with his mom.
"Happy Mother's Day din sa mga mom n'yo," mahinahon kong sagot.
"Pwede bang pa-greet ng Happy Mother's Day in advance?" tanong ni Jamie. "I'm going to be the mother of Loki's children soon!"
Wow. Such confidence. Others would say na "kapal ng mukha." Not my own words, ha. Sa sobrang kumpiyansa ni Jamie sa sarili niya, hindi ko alam kung seryoso pa ba siya o nagdyo-joke lang.
"Happy Mother's Day din sa mga mama n'yo," sagot ni Alistair, ignoring Jamie's last remark.
"Well, my mom's already gone so I'm gonna visit her mamaya sa memorial park," sabi ni Jamie, huminahon na rin ang kanyang boses. "When my big bro was still alive, we used to visit her together. For the past two years, ako na lang mag-isa ang dumadalaw sa kanya."
Oo nga pala. Jamie's mom died six years ago. Ang mas masaklap pa, iniwan din siya ng papa at ng kuya niya. She's now living alone with their house caretaker.
"Wala na rin ang mom ko," I shared, taking a deep breath. "Dinadalaw ko rin siya tuwing Mother's Day. This is the first time na hindi ko siya mabi-visit doon. Sa Manila pa kasi 'yong memorial park. Ipagpe-pray ko na lang siya mamaya."
"Oh? Ayaw mo bang sumabay sa akin, Lori?" tanong ni Alistair. "Pupuntahan ko kasi today sina mama't papa sa Manila. If you want, I can give you a ride. Hindi rin naman malayo ang bahay n'yo sa bahay namin."
"T-Talaga?" I stuttered. Napatingin ako sa orasan. Eight o'clock pa lang ng umaga. "Mga what time ka aalis?"
"Within two hours, paalis na niyan ako," Alistair replied. "Daanan na lang kita sa apartment n'yo around ten in the morning?"
"Sure!" sagot ko. "Magpe-prepare na ako."
"Gusto ko sanang gumala kasama n'yo kaso 'di pwede, eh," singit ni Jamie. "Ingat na lang kayo mamaya, ha? Lori! Pakibati pala kay Loki ang future mother-in-law ko!"
As soon as we hung up, sinimulan ko nang mag-prepare para sa biglaang trip namin pabalik ng Manila.
***
ALISTAIR DROVE to the memorial park kung saan nakahimlay ang mama ko. On the way there, we stopped at a flower shop to buy a basket of marigold. I heard from my dad that this was my mom's favorite. Ito rin ang lagi naming dinadala kapag dumadalaw kami.
"Do you mind if you wait here?" tanong ko kay Alistair pagka-park ng kotse niya.
"Sure," he nodded. "Take as much time as you want. Maaga naman tayong nakadating dito."
"Thank you," I said before getting out of his car.
Bitbit ko ang binili naming basket ng marigold flowers. Sumasabay ang buhok ko sa galaw ng hangin. Tahimik ang sementeryo. Mapayapa ang paligid. Bilang sa mga daliri ang mga taong nandito.
I still remember kung saan ang mausoleum ni mama. At the corner of the third street from the entrance gate. My dad chose that spot para hindi masyadong malayo kapag dumadalaw kami rito.
Tumigil ako sa harapan ng puting museleo. Malinis pa ring tingnan mula sa labas. My dad has this place regularly cleaned. Unlike the other mausoleums nearby, walang gate o harang ang sa mama ko. Sabi ni papa, my mother was well loved not only by our relatives, but by other people as well. Enclosing this place would deny those people access to my mom's tomb so they can pay their respects.
I took a deep breath before going in. Pagkatapak ko pa lang sa museleo, may kakaiba akong naramdam. Hindi nakakatakot o nakakakilabot. Parang nakakagaan ng pakiramdam.
LAURETTA M. RIOS
1975-2003
A basket of marigold was already placed in front of my mother's tomb. May nakasulat pang card na "Happy Mother's Day, Laurie. You are loved and remembered." Only my dad Walter called her by that name. He must have visited her early this morning.
Inilagay ko na ang mga dala kong bulaklak sa harap ng kanyang puntod.
"Happy Mother's Day, ma," I muttered as I touched her tomb and stared at her headstone. Nagsimulang nangilid sa mga mata ko ang luha. I sniffled. "I know you're always watching over me. Thank you. I wish na you are happy wherever you are."
I offered a minute of silence. Wala akong ibang marinig kundi ang mga huni ng ibon sa mga malapit na puno.
I then closed my eyes and uttered a prayer.
"I knew you'd be here."
Iminulat ko ang aking mga mata at dahan-dahang tumalikod. My dad Walter stood at the entrance of mom's mausoleum. He walked toward the tomb and placed another basket of marigold next to mine.
"Your mom would be proud of you," my dad said, kneeling before the tomb. "You may be away from home, but you still managed to visit her. Hindi ka ba na-traffic papunta rito?"
"I'm with Alistair," sagot ko. There's still some level of uneasiness between me and my dad. Pero compared noon, nabawasan na ngayon. I don't feel too intimidated anymore. Hindi ako sigurado kung dahil ba alam ko nang hindi siya ang biological father ko o dahil mas naintindihan ko na kung bakit gano'n ang pakikitungo niya sa akin noon.
"After all this time, do you still love mom? Despite what she did...?" I asked.
My dad went silent for a minute. He lit some candles and placed them carefully near the tomb.
"I still do," he said. Tumayo siya't humarap sa akin. "I have already forgiven her for what she did. It wasn't that easy. But my love for her outweighs my resentment toward her."
I looked down and smiled. Masaya akong malaman na gano'n pa rin ang feelings niya kay mama.
Nagawi ang tingin ko sa tatlong basket ng marigold sa harap namin. I wonder how my mom was feeling right now. We brought her her favorite flowers—
Wait a minute.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang may ma-realize ako.
"Ngayon lang po kayo dumating dito, tama?" tanong ko kay papa.
Tumango siya. "I had breakfast with an associate this morning. Then I decided to drop by this afternoon here. Why? Is there a problem?"
I pointed at the first basket of flowers that I found here. "Bale hindi kayo ang nagdala o nagpadala niyan?"
My dad shook his head. Muli akong napatingin sa card na kasama ng mga bulaklak.
"Happy Mother's Day, Laurie. You are loved and remembered."
Who left these flowers here?
q.e.d.
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