Previously:
- (Y/N) was able to meet Sonya
- Sonya seems to want to see if (Y/N) will try to use her to get to her brother
Chapter 9 - Fueling the Fires Until We Combust
April 28, 2019
(13 days to go)
The class had two more weeks left before the finals. Some were already starting to review but despite of that, they also wanted to practice. So they scheduled their fourth practice in the F. T. Park (Flat Trans Park) after lunch. When mostly everyone was there, they practiced variations one to three. The pairs, Harriet and Minho and Teresa and Alby were the ones watching the others and helping them if they had questions.
Meanwhile, (Y/N) and Newt were trying to practice the dance that Mr. Gilbert taught them yesterday. Using the music they chose, he was able to make a story with the song.
"Since the song is a love song, obviously this will be a love story." (Y/N) didn't know if it was just a trick of the light or if Mr. Gilbert shot her a look.
The story he made up was about a boy and a girl falling in love. The boy is trying to woo the girl while she was playing hard to get. But in the end, the girl will eventually fall for the boy and it will end with a proposal.
(Y/N) couldn't contain herself when she found out. It was practically perfect with her situation...sort of.
So they already had the story and the ending. They just needed to finish the dance.
They agreed that at the beginning of the dance which was the intro music, the pairs will come into the stage and take their positions. Their positions are that the boys are in one side of the room while the girls are in the other side. The boys will be looking at the girls while the girls have their backs turned.
When the lyrics start, the boy will make their way towards the girls.
L is for the way you look
The boy takes the girl's hand.
At me
The partners face each other on this exact moment. Then they start variations one to three.
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore
Can love
The girl starts to tease the boy by leaving. The boy leaves too, losing hope.
Is all that I can give to you.
Love
The two of them stop and look at each other.
Is more than just a game for two.
Then start to make their way back to each other.
Two in love can make it.
They're back in each other's arms.
Take my heart,
The boy turns the girl.
But please don't break it.
Love
The boy offers his hand to the girl. She takes it.
Was made for me and you.
Next after this was an instrumental which Newt and (Y/N) haven't thought out what to do yet. Their were suggestions from Mr. Gilbert yesterday that they were willing to follow. He suggested that they do the four variations or shuffle it a bit if they wanted. They mostly practiced only on the first verse and chorus of the song yesterday because if you get that, the other parts will be easy, according to him at least.
After practice the first verse and chorus two more times, they decided to rest. During their practice, (Y/N) was freaking out. Yes, she still couldn't handle herself around Newt that well.
The song didn't help.
Neither did the interpretation.
She practically feels like she's screaming her feelings for Newt with the way she looked at him. The way she smiles at him. She feels like she radiating all her love for him. She's pouring all her love for him. She feels as if she's so obvious that she should stop.
But then Newt doesn't realize.
At least, she doesn't think he does.
So, even if she thinks that she's really really obvious, Newt doesn't seem to pick up on it. So, she doesn't stop.
-
As of now, Newt and (Y/N) were helping the others learn the last and fourth variation. Many were having a lot of trouble on how to do it. Usually, when (Y/N) and Newt would teach, they would show it together and have the others follow their lead.
But then something happened that (Y/N) didn't know how to react to.
"Um Newt," Joan called, "can you help me learn the part?"
"Sure," Newt took (Y/N)'s hand, "where's Ben?"
"No, I mean with you as my partner."
Newt looked at (Y/N), as if to ask for permission. But who was she to ask for him to ask her permission? So many times she explained to Sonya that they were friends but it didn't look like she didn't believe it.
"Go ahead," (Y/N) slid her hand away from Newt.
She watched as Newt took Joan's hand. The two of them wrapped in each other's arms. They started to dance.
As much as (Y/N) tried to keep herself calm and keep things professional, she couldn't help but feel...conflicted. She understood that Joan did need help with the way she was fumbling the steps. (Y/N) watched as Newt patiently taught her how to do the steps.
This was another first for her.
This was the first time she was jealous over a boy. She hated this feeling. She feels so...bad. It just doesn't feel good.
Who was she to even feel jealous? She wasn't Newt's girlfriend or anything. She did say that they were just friends. But it could be because some part of her hoped that maybe there was something more between them.
How could she be so stupid?
Newt was the first boy to make her feel so special. The way he'd share with her stories about his family. When he'd continue to hold her hand even if they weren't dancing. The times he'd give her sweets when she isn't looking too good.
With those actions, she hoped that maybe...
Looks like she was wrong.
Thinking and hoping that she was something more. But in reality, was she just a friend?
The fires of jealousy burning inside her were dying down because of Newt's sweet smile. His personality that was just so beautiful. But the fires were growing again with the thought that she wasn't the recipient of his sweet smile.
Maybe he was just so nice.
She couldn't take it anymore and decided to see who needed help. She didn't want to look like a wet blanket. She went to Minho and Harriet who were teaching other pairs.
"(Y/N), what are you doing here?" Minho asked. His questions was answered when he saw Newt dancing with Joan.
"You're jealous aren't you?" He teased. (Y/N) scowled. Minho laughed. "You are!"
"Why don't you dance with Ben?" Harriet suggested.
(Y/N) doubts that Newt will get jealous if she does. He clearly doesn't like her the same way. But what if...
No!
She slammed the "what ifs" in her mind. It's those pesky "what ifs" that made her hope and wonder if Newt liked her. If she was only content with the thought of being his friend and not hoping for something more and was trying to see if he does like her, she wouldn't feel this horrible.
"I'll just go see if anyone needs help," (Y/N) said.
She supervised the other pairs and helped them out. They were having a lot of trouble with the fourth variation and (Y/N) did her best to help them out and distract herself from Newt. When Joan was done dancing with him, (Y/N) saw that there were others who wanted to dance with him.
Mixed emotions ran through (Y/N)'s body. She felt the fires of jealousy once again but she also felt the droplets of sadness. She wasn't just jealous of whoever was dancing with Newt. Instead she found herself jealous of Newt.
Why were people going to him for help? Why just him? Why were they just passing over her?
This was just like when half the class decided to skip practice and not tell her. Was there something wrong with her? Did she seem so distant to them that they couldn't go to her for help?
She knew that most of them knew Newt before and she was a new student. But they spent a school year together and that's got to count for something. They should know that she's reliable. She's doing her best here as the leader.
But what if the problem isn't that she's distant?
What if the problem is that they think she couldn't do it. Everyone was clearly surprised when she was assigned the job of leader.
If they only knew who she was...or who she could've been.
But there was a reason why she kept that a secret.
With the way she's acting now, people think that she's...not fit for the role. But if they knew who she was, they still might avoid her because of intimidation. That has happened before. No matter what she does, there's always a wall forming between her and everyone.
"I have to snap out of this," (Y/N) said to herself. "I won't be a good leader if I think like this."
This was what she was afraid of. Acting more on her feelings than her responsibilities. She needed to reign herself in.
When she composed herself, she went back out there and did her job as a leader.
It's good that she knows how to reign herself in and that she knows when she's crossing the line. Because in order to prove yourself to be a good leader, you need to know how to straighten out your priorities and do the right thing.
But there was something that (Y/N) said that she'll wish she didn't. "These are the times I wish that Newt and I weren't partners."
Be careful what you wish for.
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