alex turned on his camera.
he didn't want to make this video, but he was running out of time.
he had to do something.
anything.
as he went back to where he was previously sitting - his bed, he took a deep breath.
this had to be perfect.
but he knew all too well it wasn't going to be.
as a small red blink went off on his camera, indicating that it was recording, alex spoke.
"hello everyone, i'm alex and welcome back to another video."
he took a deep breath.
he couldn't do this.
he ran over to the camera and turned it off.
he just didn't know what to say.
what to do.
he just knew he was tired of this.
taking another deep breath, he walked over to his desk and took a drink from his water bottle.
his heard hurt and he felt like crying.
but he had already cried too much.
against his better judgement, he walked over to the camera again and turned it on.
this time, he sat in his chair.
"hello everyone i'm alex and today's video's going to be a little different."
he looked down.
good god he couldn't do this.
"actually, it's going to be my last."
he looked back up, looking straight at the camera.
"i'm sorry, i just...."
his mouth felt dry.
his palms were sweaty.
he couldn't do this.
he ran over to the camera, but instead of turning it off, he just restarted it.
"i'd like to start off this video by saying how much you mean to me."
"all of you."
"and i know this sounds cliché, but thank you guys for everything."
"i started off this channel thinking, "why am i doing this?" "this is pointless."
"uh, apparently i still think that way."
he took a deep breath.
he could feel the tears threatening to fall.
but, he continued.
"i know you might think i'm joking, or some of you may laugh it off, but i'm being serious."
"it's the 16th of april, 2020, and i have decided to stop making videos."
"i don't want to be overdramatic or anything, but, i just don't have fun anymore. it feels more like a job, something that i'm being forced to do."
"i just.... i don't want to do this anymore, it's too stressful."
"i don't think I'll ever come back."
"but thank you for everything, i really, really mean it."
and with that, alex got out of his chair and walked over to the camera, shutting it off.