A few days went by uneventfully. Levi and I kept our distance and spoke only if necessary. He was usually busy typing away on his laptop or on his phone. And I spent most of my time either doing my schoolwork or cleaning random sections of the house. Just like Colt, Levi was barely ever at home.
One day while I was working on my lesson plans for the following week, Levi knocked on my door. I went over to him.
"Hey, do you need something?" I asked him with a smile.
"Just came by to ask you if you wanted any pizza," Levi said.
"I always want pizza," I told him.
"Okay, cool." He cleared his throat. He appeared to be either nervous or uncomfortable, I wasn't sure.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked him cautiously.
"Do you... like the room?"
I laughed. "Are you kidding me? Of course I love it!"
Levi smiled. "Good."
"It's just that I found some clothes in the dresser," I said, looking over at the dresser, "What should I do with them?"
When I looked back at Levi, he had gone absolutely pale. He looked like he had seen a ghost.
"Levi?" I asked worried.
He brushed past me and went straight to the dresser. He opened the shelves one by one until he got to the last one, which had the clothes inside. He looked confused, distraught, hurt even... Levi shook his head, perhaps in an attempt to mask how he was feeling.
"Hey, are you okay?" I asked again.
Levi picked the clothes up in one fell swoop. He walked out of the room holding the clothes without saying another word. Something was off about him. I kept asking myself whose clothes those belonged to. Would it be a good idea to ask him about it?
About half an hour later there was another knock on my door. Levi handed me a small box with pizza.
"Want to eat together?" I asked him.
"I have some work to do," Levi said, avoiding my gaze for some reason.
"Oh. Okay."
I must have looked disappointed, because he asked me why I wanted to do that.
"I always eat with my friends," I admitted, "It makes me feel at home. And less lonely."
"Lonely? You feel lonely?" he asked me surprised.
I smiled. "Just a bit."
It was going to take a lot of getting used to not having Colt by my side anymore. The truth was that, despite the feeling of disgust that I had being around him, I still missed him.
Levi turned around and left. Somehow this made me feel even sadder. Perhaps I was feeling vulnerable and didn't want to be alone. Or perhaps I just really wanted to talk to Levi. Well, I couldn't expect him to like me as a friend without really talking to me much.
Surprisingly, Levi came back a minute later holding his box of pizza. I grinned widely at him.
"Thanks for coming back," I told him.
"Sure," he said.
I had the impression that Levi was just socially awkward sometimes. But he definitely meant well. I could see why Tina trusted him so blindly.
We took our pizzas and sat across from each other on the floor. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt and some ripped jeans. I couldn't help but stare at the tattoos on his arms while he ate.
"See something you like?" he remarked.
I blushed a bit for getting caught. "Uhh I just... really like your tattoos."
Levi didn't say anything for a while, so I stayed quiet as well. When I thought he wasn't going to give me a reply, he said: "Honestly, I'm not going to give you a whole background story about what they mean or anything, because most of them I got them done when I was bored or just... going through stuff. There's no deep meaning to them or anything."
Interesting... So the way he dealt with difficult situations was to cover himself in tattoos?
"So let's say... you were in my shoes," I said, munching on a slice of pepperoni pizza, "You're going through a rough patch with your spouse. Would you put a tattoo then?"
"Yup," Levi said simply.
"How would it look like?" I asked curiously, "A heart? A broken heart?"
"Hmm... A knife going through a heart, maybe," he said, "Or a bleeding heart. Depends on how I'm feeling."
"A breakup is never an easy thing."
"Well no, but what if you didn't like your spouse? This becomes your perfect excuse to get away from the marriage."
"So you would get celebratory balloons tattooed all over your face?"
He laughed. "Maybe."
Gosh, his laugh always made me soft. I could get used to this.
"Please, don't ever tattoo your face," I told him, "No matter how shitty you're feeling."
"Why not?"
"Because you shouldn't cover your face."
"Again, why?"
I shook my head quickly, feeling the heat creep up on my face. I didn't want to say what I was thinking out loud. "Nothing, never mind."
He smirked, enjoying my reaction. "I should start asking you a billion questions too."
I laughed. "Isn't it fun?"
"When you're not on the other end, yeah."
"But... you should let me know if I'm ever annoying you with those questions. I don't want to bother you."
Levi's grey eyes gazed at me thoughtfully for a moment. "Okay."
"But you know... it's okay if you ask me questions. I don't mind. We're friends after all."
He nodded. He paused and then asked me: "Why do you feel lonely?"
I didn't expect his first question to be so deep. But then again, Levi wasn't the 'what's your favorite color' type of guy.
"Well... It's taking longer than I expected to get used to life without Colt," I admitted to him.
"What exactly do you miss from him?"
"Everything. I loved everything about him."
"Do you still have feelings for him?" he inquired.
"I mean... I guess it's because we've been together for so long that I just got used to being with him all the time. Now that he's gone... or rather, now that I'm alone, it just feels wrong."
"It's a 'yes' or 'no' question, Scarlett."
I lowered my head. "I can't answer you, because... I don't know. I hate what he did. I hate who he did it with. I hate the secrets and the lies he kept from me. But I still remember the good times we had."
Levi didn't say anything. He just looked at me.
"I don't know... Maybe I still care about him."
"You want to be with him?" He seemed bewildered.
"No, I don't," I said determined. In reality, I was trying to convince myself.
"Huh. Interesting." He placed the pizza he was eating back in its box to give me his full attention. "Are you aware that this guy has been cheating on you for years?"
"Yeah, but—"
"Are you aware that he doesn't want you to leave because his ego is going to come crashing down, and not because he still loves you?"
I felt attacked. "What makes you so sure?"
Levi crossed his arms. "Scarlett, it's written all over his face. And you're falling right into his trap. He's manipulating you into staying with him. He's been manipulating you for years and you don't even see it."
I wanted to argue back with him, but I felt too choked up to say anything. I knew he was right. But it was a hard pill to swallow.
"Has he always put his hands on you when you guys were arguing?"
I shook my head, but then I gasped. It has happened before! He didn't hit me, but somehow he would always win me back by kissing me or holding me in his arms. In my head that was just his way of showing me he was serious about our relationship. But was he? Especially if he would leave bruises every once in a while?
"See?" Levi smirked knowingly. He seemed to be reading my thoughts. "I knew it. I bet he's been doing it in a way that you haven't even realized it was wrong until now."
I felt something rolling down my face. Wait, was I crying? Levi's smirk instantly disappeared.
"I'm an idiot," I said, my voice cracking, "I can't believe he manipulated me like that."
Levi frowned at me. He didn't say a word while I kept ranting on and on about how I got beguiled by Colt. It wasn't until after I was done talking that he spoke up again.
"Let me make one thing clear," he said in a calm voice, "Scarlett, you didn't do anything wrong or stupid. You did what was expected of you as a wife. You can't blame yourself for his unfaithfulness. If anything, he's the jackass for cheating on you."
"Yeah," I sniffed, "because obviously, I'm such a gorgeous individual that he wouldn't have any reason to cheat on."
Although I was crying, I still managed to croak out a crappy joke. But when my eyes met Levi's, something happened. I felt something in my stomach that I hadn't felt for years. Butterflies. He wasn't smiling or anything. He was just staring intently at me. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't. And for some reason I knew what he wanted to say.
"Bad time for a joke," I said, trying to hide how flustered I was feeling, "sorry."
He gave me a half-smile that only lasted a second.
"Honestly, sometimes I envy people like you and Tina who are single," I told him, "No drama to worry about."
My phone vibrated for the millionth time on my bed. I got up, grabbed it and sat back down. But when I saw that it was Colt messaging me, I grimaced. He's been trying to get my attention all day.
"Tch." I rolled my eyes. "Guess who it is."
"Is he bothering you?" Levi asked me with a serious face.
"Yeah, all damn day," I replied.
"And do you normally reply to him?"
"Yes."
"Even if he's just arguing or something?" he asked.
"Yup," I replied, "He won't stop texting until I reply."
"Hmm..." He had a thoughtful expression on his face once more.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked him, curiosity taking over me.
"I have an idea to shake him off you," he said, smiling mischievously, "But I doubt you will like it."
"Try me," I said.
Levi chuckled. "Ignore him. Don't text him back."
"He'll blow up my phone," I said, frowning.
"Let him. He'll stop if he realizes he's talking to himself."
"Okay."
"There's something else, too," Levi continued, resting his shoulder against my bed. His eyes studied my every move.
"What's that?" I asked, glancing down to grab the last slice of pizza.
"Get a boyfriend."
I froze. "What?"
"You heard me. Get a rebound. Move on. Believe me, he'll stop bothering you eventually," Levi explained. But the playful smile on his face made it so hard for me to concentrate.
"I... I don't think I'm ready for that..." I said, blushing like crazy.
"I told you you wouldn't like it," he said, laughing, "A rebound isn't anything serious. Usually a person gets a rebound just to get over a serious relationship."
"I've always been in a serious relationship," I told him, "I don't know how rebounds work."
"Then pretend like you're in a serious relationship with someone."
I sighed. "I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because where am I going to find to find someone who's willing to do something so ridiculous for me?" I asked. And then it hit me. I pointed at him. "You!"
"Me?" he replied, raising his eyebrows.
"You can help me!"
"It was just an idea, Scarlett," Levi said, "I wasn't volunteering."
"I know, but I don't have any other guy friends," I said.
"I wouldn't be a good pick," he said, running a hand through his hair, "Just because I can give advice doesn't mean I have experience with any of this."
"Then we can learn together," I suggested.
Levi looked away from me. "Does it really have to be me?"
I didn't want to force him into this, but... "Levi, you're the only guy I can trust right now," I told him, "But if you don't want to do this, I'll understand. I'll find another way to get Colt off my back."
"You'll trust someone you don't know?" he asked me.
"I trust you, Levi. Not just anyone."
He picked up the pizza boxes and got to his feet. "I'll think about it," he muttered before walking away.