CHAPTER 31. ALL OVER.
SAMANTHA.
I know that Jace saw him as soon as I had, and he screamed the s-bomb stomping on the break but suddenly changing his mind and gunning the gas. I screamed like I had never screamed before never letting up, never losing an octave, as Jace sped on trying to run Caspian down in cold blood... Trying to kill Caspian.
Caspian just stood there never moving never blinking, not making the decision to move I screamed at him, at Jace, at myself, "MOVE CAPIAN MOVE! JACE STOPPPPPP! PLEASEEEE STOP YOUR GONNA KILL HIM! JACE DON'T PLEASEEE! YOUR GONNA KILL US ALL! JACE, GOD PLEASE STOPPPPP!"
I screamed over and over pleading for our lives, but Jace never made an attempt to stop again, instead he shouted back, "YOU WANT ME TO STOP, WHEN HE TRIED TO HURT YOU? TO KILL YOU?" and he finished that with a cursed 'EFF NO!'
And then there was just no more space between us in the speeding car and Caspian I wanted to shut my eyes, I wanted to so badly I thought I did but I never stopped seeing him standing there, not moving illuminated in bright blue from the headlights of Jace's maxima. And then SMACK! CRASH!
Suddenly everything was in slow motion and my whole body flew forward in the force of the collision. The last things I saw was Jace and myself flying so fast but so slow forward faster, faster towards Caspian, his body being demolished by Jace's car his life, so wrongfully stolen, just as well as ours. Glass glittering in the air surrounding us entirely the front of the car crinkling up like a flimsy accordion. Crushing, crushing like stepping on a soda can the back end of the car flung up, with the nose disappearing into Caspian. And Caspian disappearing into pieces.
Everything in the matter of seconds was all over.
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CASPIAN.
They had fled from my brothers it was time to stop them before things went from bad to worse. I saw the car approaching from an amicable distance, and there I stood waiting.
I could hear Samantha's pulse speedily beating and that of the driver-that boy. And suddenly just when I thought this would go over some what smoothly, the boy jacked on his breaks, leading me to believe he was coming to a stop, and then in no time at all he punched the gas peddle to the floor, aiming straight towards me. Samantha's piercing blood chilling screams filled the atmosphere, and never let up. And still that boy's determination shouting in his eyes, to end my life was all that mattered, not because he aimed at my life, but because he had Samantha's hanging in the balance as well. And that was something you just don't mess with.
And then if I had it already figured out, the boy states his reasons. He was doing it for her, because of my revelations of my trying to end her life. He believed he was doing good, and for the woman he loved, and even though it was a horrid jab at me I could admire that he was doing it for, as I would do myself. And we appearing out of nowhere must be the final nail in the coffin I suppose. If I were them at that particular time I would have done nothing different. And him taking a life like nothing right now, oblivious to what kind of being I truly am is something I am nay a stranger to myself tis' what I was built for.
The car crashed right into me breaking my step ever so slightly, but I reprieved it. And I welcomed the collusion let the destruction wash over me. I raised my arms and held them welcomingly before the vehicle's deathly intent. The force was insane, and I didn't falter not an inch, and the car-still with a screaming Samantha inside- crinkled like a cheap accordion. Glass suspended in the air all round them, I had slowed time, and if I hadn't they would have expired instantaneously.
Still standing like a statue of death, I called to my brothers. I hadn't any choice but to use such force to hold everything as it was that I had to release my wings to keep me and the car with my precious cargo inside at a complete and perfect stand still.
Once Lucas and Ezra arrived on the scene, my wings in full span stretched out beyond the road, my brothers tore the doors off the vehicle like pulling on wet tissue paper, and yanked them free. Once the dispersed to safer grounds, I let time go, allowing the car to crumple into me at its original deathly force...
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SAMANTHA.
One minute my life was ending with both the men I loved, and the next.... Everything in time had stopped, and then... I was being yanked free from this death box along with Jace by them men we originally fled from, one of them being the one had broke into my house and did something-I cant even understand what-to me, before Caspian showed up scaring him off. And the other I know, and can't understand how I know, the only that I do know is that I think I know him.
So fast, like we were rag dolls we were pulled free, the glass that had frozen in mid air cutting my skin as I was being pulled back with audible scratches, digging into my skin in the deafening silence. I remember seeing Jace his face contorted into terror, and distorted into confusion, we were flying fast backwards-he from the drivers side, and I from the passengers side, and then as if we were blindfolded in such a short time, that time it self couldn't measure we blanked out all was black. And when we came to Jace and his captor stood right next to me or, laid next to me was more like it, we were now on the ground in a pile of plowed snow watching the car crush into Caspian.
Caspian and his blood red wings. Stretched out so vastly they might've been the length of three of Jace's Maxima. The car pounded into his flesh sounding like someone- giant ripping through stainless steel like he was shredding paper plates for fun. Crashing at deafening velocities, the glass spraying like a hose in a garden all around him as Caspian held his arms out embracing the wreck eyes closed head held back in relief.
"CASPIAN!" I shouted, everything happened in the matter of nano seconds, and in horror agonized horror I watched on as the man I have loved with ever fiber of my being and held onto for so long even after he did me so wrong be wasted away by Jace's car, into nothing. Taking his life away from him, away from me.
I couldn't sit there any longer, and as I watched on I knew I was to late, but it didn't stop me I sprung up and ran after him screaming his name all the way, "SAMANTHA NO!" Jace shouted, reaching out to me seeing what I had intended, and leaping up after me, but I swear hells hounds couldn't reach my pace, I flew forward. Eyes never leaving him. I was prepared to leave my life behind, because seeing Caspian die made me not want to live anymore, everything so quickly made so much sense. He never meant me any harm, and he did love me so much only an idiot wouldn't be able to see, he never would hurt me not ever. And deep down inside I always knew that, always felt that. Every time he was near me my body hummed happily in euphoria, arcadia, something in him, something in me belonged together. And when he was gone, I was left with nothing, nothing at all. Except the darkness. I heard Jace's pounding footsteps behind me shouting my name for me to "Stop!" To please, please stop, because he loved me...
I had never thought my life would end this way, and truly I had never given much thought to how my life would really end. And here I was plunging into it effortless.
I closed my eyes tight in my own way saying goodbye to everything, in that last leap to Caspian. And I ran smack into him his arms quickly embracing me tightly and.... Normally...like we were not at all dead.
I opened my eyes expecting everything I've ever heard about heaven, bright white lights, harmonic symphonies with harps, and cupids, and angels galore... but when I opened my eyes we were still standing on that road. The car about 50 feet in front of us down the road, in about a million pieces. Caspian forced my face up and at him, and with a harsh look in his eyes scolded me, "What the hell where you thinking? You could've got your self killed! I would never be worth that do you hear me! No one would ever be worth that! Don't make everything I've done, everything I've gone through-along with countless others- be for nothing!" he shouted at me shaking me with his every word.
Like a scared little child, who has gotten in a world of trouble like never before my bottom lip popped out quivering, and hot heavy tears fell from my eyes as a cried both harshly and obnoxiously. I didn't hear Jace's approaching footsteps anymore and decided it was best to let that go I heard a struggle then, Jace's muffled shouting for him to be put down and let go. I didn't dare look back, I knew he was in no danger. Caspian grabbed my close to him, trying hard to sooth my sobs but that made it that much worse, I had really effed up everything, like really, really bad. "I'm so sorry Cas! I just couldn't do it, I couldn't let you leave me again, I love you so much. I can't be away from you because it hurts..." my voice broke off into another harsh sob and he patted down my hair rubbing and kissing my head.
After about a minute Caspian asked me very quietly, "Are you ready to go now?" I nodded yes, and he asked even more quietly, "Do you want to say goodbye to the boy?" and once he said the words, my heart broke into a thousand different jagged pieces, slicing my organs as it did, leaving me cold and internally bleeding.
Sobbing in more pain than I thought possible, I meekly looked to where Jace stood, he was upright but his eyes were bent in tense confusion, and horror as he looked on at me his heart breaking as he heard our exchange of words. The strange men Caspian had come with held him back with but only a hand and as Caspian asked me if I wanted to say goodbye to him Jace began his struggle again, and once I said 'No' all the fight, drained out of Jace, the light inside his eyes that always made me smile, that always kept me warm was extinguished entirely. Killing me I could stand it no more, I screamed out at Caspian, "Let's go now!" and instantly, in the blink of an eye, we were on a sunny private beach somewhere very far away.
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Breathless at what just happened and broken internally in more ways that mattered, I sucked in the hot humid air of our new surroundings, terrified.
"Caspian, where the hell are we? H-how-did you-how are we here?" Caspian realizing my panic brought a finger to my lips hushing me, "Because I can, there isn't anywhere we can't go. It is who I am. Do you want to know who that is? ...truly know?"
As if my heart answered his question for me possessing my mouth, I answered "Yes," ready for anything...
Caspian took in a startled breath steadying himself, and with his warm hands, placed each on either side of my face and looked directly into my eyes and said "Yes, my real name is Caspian, and I... am your guardian angel."
His words manifested into silver lines as they danced from his beautiful mouth into my eyes and down, deep down inside, touching my soul. There they exploded, igniting like fireworks, illuminating my soul, filling me with the light I had forgot I once possessed. I felt so warm all over so light so lilting, I laughed out, and at my outburst of elation Caspian let out one of his own.
"Unbelievable! ...absolutely extraordinary... it's repaired!" and as he said it I didn't know what it was, but I knew he was right. I sighed finally happy again, finally back to myself. And Caspian leaned in breathing his sweet breath into my face, and I thinking he was about to kiss me, waited patiently when he asked, "May I kiss you right now?"
Shocked at his question because I had never been asked before, to be kissed-and never had he asked me either, I asked my own question, "Why are you even asking?" I waited baffled for his response, "I ask because I know what you feel inside again, and I know very much that you love me, as you know that I love you, but I also know that you love that boy as well... and after what just happened, I thought it only right to ask..." he looked deeply into my eyes brows furrowed as he tried to read my reaction, because It hadn't manifested on my face, and when he got nothing but a little peep of exhaled breath, he was about to ask,
'what?' when I didn't let him have the chance.
Because my lips captured his, lovingly in more ways that could ever be explained. And it was just a light delicate kiss Caspian was always the gentleman. Always so careful, so restrained but never felt restrained.
And once it was done, always the moment when I hoped it wouldn't, I asked, "What now? What does all this mean? For you and I, for everyone?"
"I don't know everything but I promise to do everything in my power to help you, no matter the cost. Samantha, I have to leave, to collect something very important and I'm afraid you can't come with me. But I wont leave you unprotected, I swear you will be safe, at any cost." he said ever drop with nothing but love, and I remembered, "What about Tiffany and Robby? This guy-I don't know who, has them he said he's going to hurt them, we have to help them Caspian! I cant let anything happen to them!" I began to panic but it was hard when Caspian was right here, making me high oh happy.
"It makes it really hard that you do not know of his face, but I'm fairly certain I can find out his identity. We will save them Samantha I promise, do you trust me?" he asked soulfully. "Yes I do but Cas, I'm really scared." I had so many questions, screaming inside me, shooting themselves off one by one, demanding to be answered, but standing here with Caspian, hearing the waves crash in and out on the shore made everything dramatically peaceful and hard to refute.
"I know you have many questions, and I promise I will answer them all as best as I can, but we have to leave right now, so we can help your friends, ok?" I inhaled blissfully, that everything was suddenly just so easy, he knew me inside and out, and everything between us was just effortless, like it was in the beginning.
I nodded and we took off, once I no longer heard the shore I quickly and quietly asked, "Where to?" and as soon as the sound died on my lips, I opened my eyes and we were in a dark forest, littered with fog everywhere, as far as the eye could see.
"Not fog, clouds. This is where clouds are born, in this magical place, and then they are dispersed, into the sky." "Wow." I said amazed.
Everything chirped here, birds I couldn't see, but imagined I could here singing their beautiful melodic tunes, bugs, insects of all kinds worked and danced, and they too sang beautifully. Everything was so alive here, but covered, by the immense, thick cloud. "This is no ordinary forest, either, but here to just like you heard there are many dangers here too, do not be fooled, mislead, or believe everything you see, I cannot tell you what to look out for, as I myself am not sure. Please do not leave my side... and please be very careful." "I will I promise."
He nodded, and held out his hand for me to hold, and I took it. "We are in a real rainforest, in Elena Costa Rica. And right now we are standing on one of it's sky bridges."
As soon as I looked down my body inflated with vertigo and the world began to spin before me, making me wobbly on my feet, Caspian had to reach out and grab me to keep me from falling. "Are you alright? I know your not scared of heights, what happened?" I had forgotten he knew everything about me, and that sprung up some questions, that even internal happiness couldn't stifle, "So you know, like everything about me, and you say you been with me my entire life-which is sick how casually I am taking this by the way, are you doing that?-I mean like do you know everything, like been there like always?" I began to feel creeped out, like I had a hidden camera on me and he immediately sensed that and stopped dead in his track taking me with him and making me look into his eyes while he answered, "Samantha no. never I have always given you privacy, never ever, ever invading you, or violating you in any way not ever. I am your angel not your prison guard," Caspian's eyes were so intense it took my breath away.
"I know, I know that.
I was just talking about like bathroom stuff, because that's really weird, ya know? Imagine!?" I snorkeled aloud like a little piggy as I thought of Caspian seeing me pee "Ewww!" I squealed.
I couldn't help but laugh, and when Caspian's face contorted into the look it held know I wish I had a camera, and an audience of a thousand people, he looked like a dad in the middle of a tampon store! It was utterly hilarious!
Seeing him suffer this way forcing unpleasant images into his poor unprepared brain I laughed again hysterically head thrown back, to allow the complete and ample oxygen flow for its buoyant harmony. Once I was done, and only at a giggle, I decided to quickly change the subject, "Why are we here Cas?" and then his look returned to its sad determined status, as he turned to face forward, the exact same time a figure appeared through the cloud coming towards us.
As the person came closer I could see it was the red haired woman before, along with the tall, beautiful blond man, Caspian sensing my feelings turned towards me, with a peculiar look on his face, even though he was trying to hide it, I could still see it and make it out from 13 states away. Jealousy.
"Aww, Cas its ok, he's to pretty for me." I was going to keep my mouth shut, and leave it at a blush but the smart-aleck in me bubbled up and hence the previous staement, and oh his face, I swear his head whipped around like it would give him whiplash, and the perplexed look upon it was to priceless, I had to say something, something non sarcastic, "I was just kidding, Caspian." he nodded it off at an odd angle because he already knew how really felt inside, "I forgot what a smart ass you can be." my shocked intake of breath caught, as the cuss left his lips aloud, on an ANGEL!
"CASPIAN!" I shouted, coming to a standstill. He turned a cute pink and replied, "I'm so very sorry, please excuse my language, I also forgot what a completely different being I am around you. Its just so easy with you, over the years I have picked up the way you speak, and only around you does it ever reveal itself. I'm sorry, don't tell." he whispered out the last little part complete with a boyish giggle, and I couldn't help it, I too giggled at him, and his silly remark. Then the red haired woman stepped into view calling away his attention, and I too gave her mine as well. "Has Lucas told you? I think I may have found it, well a clue anyways to its location." the red haired woman whose name escaped me said.
"Samantha, this is my sister Abigail, and my brother Lucas. Lucas and Abigail, this is Samantha." he introduced us, and once he said they were brother's and sister, I asked, "Are they um, they um you know...angels?" I asked in a hushed voice, trying to blow a cover, or insult anyone. Abigail stood, not moving, not anything just standing seriously staring waiting for Caspian's attention again, while Lucas, smiled at my remark. I blushed because I hadn't known what I had said wrong.
"No you said nothing wrong, its just odd that you know this, and only you will ever know. I hope. Yes we all are angels, and Ezra there is too, even though you cannot see him. He is directly below us, 100 feet down guarding the space. Again I went to look down, but this time I thought better of myself and settled for a gulp instead.
We wove in and out of fog incrusted paths, all the way to wear Ezra was, and once I could see him, my breathing sped, and my heart picked up pace signaling my nervousness. "Its alright Samantha, on my word I will not harm you." Ezra said remorsefully, like he had done something wrong, and even though he hadn't, my body didn't get the memo. "I was just trying to find my brother, I needed to know if he was ok. Please understand?" he asked, and I new how that felt, in fear of where your brother was, and if he was even alright.
Suddenly being sucked back into a flashback, of when I was 13, my mom got a call, saying my brother had used to much heroine, and he wandered off in the middle of a blizzard. My mom went nuts, I was terrified, because we had been down this path before, and I knew as well as my mom how bad this could get.
One time we were almost to late. My brother had called us, so crazily high one night, rambling of seeing demons, and creatures were after him, and in the background we heard someone harassingly honking a horn never letting up, and not just one. We found out later he had been driving under the influence of a bad dose while hallucinating, and was driving so dangerously he drove a family off the road. And then suddenly he said he had to get some where wet, then the phone went dead. Filled with horror and complete helplessness we sat panicking not knowing what to do next, or if he was even ok. That lasted half a second before we flew out the door in search of him. We had went everywhere, looking up all his friends, places he shot up, and every other crack house we thought he's been in. And just when we were going to have to give up, I remembered what he had said, he had to go somewhere wet, and we found him finally parked on the beach.
He had his car running, and the doors where locked, and he had OD'd inside. We screamed and banged on the windows repeatedly, he was just unresponsive. My mom was freaking to much and not thinking clearly, I had to think fast, and I shoved the phone in her hand with 911 on the line while I went in search of a big rock. I finally found one, and threw it, over and over again at his window trying with all my might to smash it, my fingers where bleeding from the jagged rocks scrapes it had caused from hefting it up over and over again. The last attmept I had finally made a spider web crack, and with all I had left which wasn't much I swiped up the jagged rock again and flung it at my brothers window. Smashing it to millions of tiny shards. And huffing like I ran the longest race of my life, I ran at the door, reaching in to unlock it, and I let myself in.
The paramedics came soon after that, but I had gotten him flat and had started CPR on him, and when they arrived they took over. thank god I had been so scared I wasn't enough, I was entirely breathless, and my body shook with terror filled adrenalin. He definitely OD'd that night, and they all said if it wasn't for us finding him, for my quick thinking my brother wouldn't be here now...
...and that thought quickly turned to bitter filled distain, as the fact he was not longer with us today because he had over dosed so bad that time, that there was never any coming back from that. Not ever.
Coming back to the present, with Ezra standing before me with the same pleading for forgiveness look plastered on, and I nodded solemnly as the silent, deeply sad fat tears, poured down for my lost brother Jamie lee.
I felt stupid for feeling so good all those years ago, for having saved him. Being in the hospital room, when he woke up, swearing he would never ever use again, and believing him with my whole heart. Crying for my brother, for finally getting him back and he was going to be the way he was. Him going to rehab for two hole months, compelling the program, and the day of his release, he promised to take me to a movie and pizza at the mall. And when we got there, we got to the first 20 minutes of 'A knights Tale' with Heath Ledger, and he said he had to go to the bathroom. Well the end of the movie came, and he hadn't come back. I tried calling my mom, but she never answered the phone or called me back, she was probably passed out drunk. So alone I sat in the food court of the mall, waiting for my brother, almost two hours later he shows up, so high he forgot my name. He kept nodding out, like heroine addicts do, and I had to drive us home. That wasn't the first time someone broke a promise to me, or hurt me so deeply a little piece of me died inside, no not at all. It wasn't the first of the hurt I had felt, nor ever be, the last. But I did learn to never trust, or count on anyone, from then on ever again. I learned then that fairytales didn't exist, that there was no such thing as a happy ending... I was a stupid girl.
Caspian sensing my distress he turned to me consoling me, and poor Ezra his face had fallen thinking he had caused my sadness, he made an awkward advance forward towards me to maybe try to make it right, when Caspian saved him from his awkward, non-duty. "It wasn't you Ezra, tis' a long ago memory, but painful one none the less." Ezra gave a slight curt nod, in understanding and backed to his position against a humungous tree, until my debacle was over.
"Ok so where is it?" Caspian asked once he thought I was ok, and really I had been the entire time, but god it was nice to have someone to hold me when I felt like that, a shoulder to cry on...
And that's when I thought of Jace... and quickly like dust I tried insanely to sweep it under my mental rug before Caspian noticed. And I thought suddenly I had been to late, because in the middle of conversing with his siblings, his head inclined towards me, and then seeing to rethink that went back.
"Tis' right here," Ezra parted a blanket of vines the he had leaned against the tree, and underneath where that had been, lied, a peculiar carving. They looked like animal scratches but they were much to synchronized, much to sophisticated to be just that. And Caspian leaned down in front of the tree examining it, when he reached out with his hands and traced the markings with his fingers. And when he did that, smoke poured out from under the tree rising up, in the air around us in tiny wisps.
It rose up and up surrounding me, I began to panic because I was losing visibility, and I cried out. "Cas! What's happening?"