You were listening as best as you could as you paced back and forth your mind running a million miles an hour. Not only had Sophia been lost, Daryl and T hadn't been seen since the herd came through. Even though it was only about thirty minutes ago you still couldn't take not knowing if they were okay. "I'm going to look for them while you look for Sophia." You say mostly to Rick. "(Y/n) no-" Shane starts and you glare up at him cutting him off. "Shane I swear to god I'll beat your ass if you try and stop me again." You say holding your ground taking a step towards him, "And this time I won't stop." You growl out dangerously making him hold his hands up taking a step back looking to Rick for help. "Sis. No. I need you here protecting-" Rick starts but stops mid sentence to look past you.
You spin around just as quickly your rifle up thinking it was a walker. You gasp at the sight of Daryl and T stumbling towards the RV fresh blood everywhere. You sling your gun over your shoulder running towards them, "What happened!? Are you guys okay?" You ask quickly as Daryl sets T down on the steps of the RV and Rick starts looking T over. "M'fine darlin' it's not my blood." He says to you panting slightly as you look him over just to be sure and a wave of relief washes over you.
"Shit. (Y/n)..." Rick says from beside you making you look down and the relief was short lived when you saw T-dogs arm. It was practically sliced all the way up his forearm. You knelt down taking in the injury, "Fuck..." you accidentally say out loud earning a groan from T as his head rolls to the side of the door way exhausted from blood loss. "Okay. Theo stay awake and keep calm your fine. Uhhh I need alcohol, bandages, tape, a needle and thread or floss will do." You instruct quickly looking up at Rick and Shane who just stare at you. "Now!" You yell snapping them back into reality as you slide a crate directly in front of T on the steps and sit down in front of him.
You didn't have a lot of actual medical experience but when your in the sticks of Afghanistan you learn to patch yourselves up or you die. "Keep your arm up T. I'm gonna patch you up." You say and he nods weakly at you. "Your the best..." he says weakly and you smile at him tying to keep him calm as possible so his pulse didn't spike making him bleed even more.
Finally Rick and Shane come back with the stuff you asked for. "We didn't have anymore rubbing alcohol just vodka Dale had stashed away. We also only have floss and electrical tape." Shane says as he hands you the stuff and you groan internally. "Okay." You say taking the stuff from your two brothers and setting it out neatly. "Theo. Chug some." You say handing the bottle to him earning a confused look from him. "This is gonna hurt like a mother trust me drink it." You state as he takes the bottle and you go through the few options of bandages you had trying to pick the one that would work best.
After he had downed some of it with a disgusted face he handed it to you and you take it from him. You sat there for a second letting the alcohol dull T-dogs nerves as best as it could. "Guys go look for Sophia." You say looking up at Shane and Rick. "What?" Daryl asks making your gaze slowly move over to his now shocked confused one. You shake your head a little in sadness and he knew by your eyes it wasn't good, "Go with them. Your the best tracker here." You say and he looks up at your brothers nodding.
"Alright." He says before leaning down quickly kissing the top of your head before walking to his bike to grab something out of his bike bag. It looked like a flashlight and maybe a knife. You watched him walk over to where Rick and Shane now stood at the guard rails talking with Glenn about the plan. "You guys be carful." You say to the four men making them look over at you. "We will. Hold down the fort for us." Rick says trying to sound reassuring but you saw right through it.
Your brother was just as worried as you were. Rick paired up with Daryl and Shane with Glenn. You watched as they jumped the guard rails and headed back into the woods in search of a no doubt very terrified Sophia. Taking a deep breath you turn back to T and hold his arm down a little, "Sorry." You say quickly dumping some of the stout liquid over the wound enough to flush it out.
He jumps hissing in pain at the burning sensation in his arm. "Ow." He mutters out and you sigh taking a swig of the vodka yourself. "Just try not to scream." You say seriously and with sympathy because he thought that hurt. You hadn't even started to stitch it up yet. You hand him the quarter full bottle encouraging him to drink more of it as you threaded the needle with the floss they found. You were thankful wasn't mint flavored floss because honestly that would suck, the mint flavoring would probably burn.
"Dump some on this." You say holding up the needle and floss beside you and he dose what you ask. You shake it off tying to dry it a little before you hold his arm down, "Alright don't move." You instruct as you thread the first stitch. He physically tenses all over and he holds back a yell of pain as you work. You pause after the first one looking up at him making sure he was okay. "I'm good. Just get it over with." He says obviously in pain before downing more of the alcohol in hand and you skillfully start to stitch the gash up in his arm. One painful stitch at a time.
By the time Shane and Glenn had came back you had just finished putting the last piece of electrical tape over the bandage protecting his stitched wound. T-dog was drunk enough to be put in the RV and sleep off this horrible day. "I got him." Glenn says taking the bottle of half full vodka from T and handing it to you. You watch Glenn try to help the much larger man stand and walk into the RV.
You still sat on the crate facing the inside of the RV and Shane stood beside the RV leaned up against it with his arms crossed facing the woods behind you. He didn't look at you and you sigh sliding the crate to be on the other side of the door way so you could lean against the RV and watch for Daryl and Rick to come back. Hopefully with Sophia this time. You take a few gulps of the vodka in hand making Shane look down at you when you moved and he chuckles at you. "Dale is gonna be pissed if ya drink his stash." He comments with a smirk and you look up at him to see him looking back at the woods.
You saw his busted lip that you gave him and you sigh taking another sip of it. "I'll take my chances." You reply and he scoffs playfully at you. He looks down at you staring at the woods and he reaches for the bottle. You hand it up to him letting him take it, "Well now your just as guilty as me." You tease making him smile at you after he swallows his mouth full of the burning liquid. "I ain't never been Dales favorite anyway." He says making you giggle at him rolling your eyes. He wasn't wrong, him and Dale butted heads all the time. "Shane... I'm sorry bout earlier..." you say reluctantly looking back up at him to find him looking down at you gently. "Don't worry about it. Ain't the first ass kickin' you've given me. Probably won't be the last if we're being honest." He says handing you back the bottle of vodka making you smile at him knowing he was right.
"I think I scared Lori." You say suddenly taking in more of the alcohol staring to feel the affects of it. "It's been hard these past few days (Y/n). She's just on edge. I doubt she's afraid of you." He says trying to make you feel better but you just keep your eyes on the woods that were getting darker by the minute with the setting sun. "You think she will be mad at me if I gave Carl my small pocket knife." You ask him and he looks down at you with a 'really' face. You stay silent and nod knowing she would be but Rick would back you up and so would Shane.
"It's better for him to have one than to be unarmed like Sophia is." He says looking down and you sigh. "Actually... she had one too. She found it earlier today and was gonna give it to me until I asked her mom. I told her to hang onto it for me until I did. I'm so glad I did too. Even if her mom gets mad. At least she has a chance now." You say and Shane sighs. "That makes me feel better too but I don't know how Carol is gonna see that." He says honestly and you sigh glad you had a buzz going so the guilt wasn't totally mind consuming.
You look down knowing he was right, and as if on cue Carol came storming around the corner. "You gave my baby girl a knife?" She asks you with red puffy eyes and tears still run down her face. "Carol. Let me explain." You say standing holding your hands up not liking how upset she was. "You should have been there to protect her! Not give her a knife and leave her alone under a car!" She says almost yelling and all words left your mind. You stare at her in complete shock and she freezes with what just flew out of her mouth. You look down in total guilt, you couldn't help but think she was right. The fact that she said it out loud made your heart hurt from the guilt all the more.
Nobody knew what to say, Glenn was walking from around the RV just after Lori and Carol did so he heard the whole thing. Carl was in Rick and loris car and you were happy he had been put to bed so he didn't hear that. Shane was beside you frozen with shock with Lori in front of him staring at you with an equally shocked expression. Dale and Andrea even heard it sitting in the RV of the couch adjacent from a passed out T-dog who was the only person who didn't hear besides Rick and Daryl who wasn't there. Carol was frozen by her own words, she didn't actually think that it was your fault. She had been so angry and heartbroken at the fact she might not ever get to see her little girl again she wasn't thinking.
You however believed her every word. If only you'd been smarter and not turned around. You wished you had been closer or faster you could of helped Rick get to her sooner. You couldn't help the tears that pricked your eyes and you look up at her with glassy (e/c) orbs, "I'm so sorry." You say just above a whisper before turning and starting to walk away. "Oh my god." Carol whispers as she puts a hand over her mouth regret hitting her in the stomach as you walk away. Shane was about to yell after you but Glenn's voice cut him off, "They're back!" He says making everyone snap out of their thoughts and rush to where Rick and Daryl has just walked out of the brush. With no Sophia. "You didn't find her?" Carol asks with a broken voice.
"Her trail went cold. We'll pick up again at first light. I know it's hard but I'm asking you not to panic. We know she's out there and we tracked her for a while. We have to make this an organized effort. Daryl knows the woods better than anybody. I've asked him to over see things." Rick explained to everyone while Daryl's eyes scan for you. Lori hugged Carol who looked down at Daryl's boots noticing blood all over them. "Is that blood?" She asks fear running though her body.
"We took down a walker. There was no sign it was ever anywhere near Sophia." Rick says quickly trying to diffuse the panic. "How can you know that?" Andrea asks out loud making Daryl snap his attention to her not liking her tone. "We cut the son of a bitch open, made sure." He replied to her and she looked slightly shocked. "How could you just leave her out there to begin with? How you just leave her?" Carol questions slowly sitting onto the guard rail over come with grief and Lori holds her shoulders in a hug. "Those two walkers were on us. I had to draw them away. It was her best chance." Rick explains softly knowing he did the best he could but he couldn't fight the guilt eating at his heart.
Shane watched Ricks eyes fall to the ground just like (Y/n)'s did a few minutes ago before she walked off. "Sounds like he didn't have a choice Carol. Neither did (Y/n)." He says crossing his arms trying not to glare at the woman already grief stricken so he looks away from her. "Where is (Y/n?)" Daryl asks Shane as Rick walks away from Carol mumbling something about Sophia being a child and Lori follows him. "She walked off." Shane says watching Carol being walked to the RV by Dale, Andrea, and Glenn. "Carol yelled at her, blamed her, and she believed every word by the look on her face. I was about to go find her but it might be better if you do." Shane says and Daryl's eyes widen at his words. "Which way." He asks immediately and Shane points in the direction you walked off to. Daryl didn't waste another second before staring in the direction Shane had just pointed out.
Worry had overtaken his body as soon as Shane said you were off by yourself especially after earlier. Shane watches Daryl walk quickly past him only speeding up when Shane calls after him again, "She might be drunk just a fore warnin'!" Shane quickly informs him remembering the bottle of alcohol you'd carried off with you. After what carol said there was a good chance you'd already finished it. Fear over takes Daryl's mind with the possibility that you were drunk alone out here. He quickly starts looking in and on every vehicle desperately searching for you.
-
You turned away from the group of people and Carol staring at you just in time before the wet hot tears started falling down your face. You let your feet carry you away not wanting to let them see you cry. Tears blurred your vision and you heard Carols broken voice ask, "You didn't find her?" Your heart shattered in two. You didn't know where you were going but it didn't matter at this point. You remember the bottle of alcohol in your hand and lift it to your lips to down some more hoping it would make the empty pit of guilt in your stomach fade. Carols words echoed in your ears making your heart hurt. In your mind it was your fault. How could you of let her slip through your fingers like that? You wished to trade places with her because deep down the thought that she could be dead all ready haunted you.
She had been your responsibility and you fucked up royally. Before you knew it you were standing in front of the white charger that Sophia had found the pocket knife in just hours ago. You stare at it with tears still running down your face and you take more of the liquid into your body before slowly walking a few more steps towards it. Drunkenly you flop into the back seat before taking in more of the alcohol that didn't even burn anymore. You close the door of the side next to the guard rail so you could lean against it and look out the open door of the opposite side. This way you could see across the road in case a walker stumbles by. Your hands made their way up to your dog tags mindlessly moving the cool metal in your hand. You sat there getting lost in your own mind going over every possible way you could of done better to save Sophia.
You were really drunk so when you hear Daryl's foot steps you move your legs to be resting on the middle console instead of the back left seat behind the drivers seat thinking he was a walker. You jumped a little when you spotted him first out of the corner of your eye making you immediately wipe your eyes not wanting him to see you cry. He was stalking around the vehicles with his cross bow up looking for you.
He heard your movements in the dark air and scanned around carefully unsure if it was you or a walker, "(Y/n)?" He whisper yells still not seeing you. "I'm right here." You say softly so your voice doesn't break from the emotion still hung in your throat. Relief washes over Daryl as soon as he hears your voice and he spins towards your voice. You watch him squint his eyes as he makes out your silhouette in the back seat. You sigh and scoot over to sit behind the drivers seat and you place your boots on the floor in front of you.
He quickly jogs the last few paces over to the car leaning down to look at you. You don't look up at him but instead stare at the back of the drivers seat. "Sophia's death is gonna be on my hands." You state flatly your face so calm it was almost emotionless before you lift up the almost empty bottle of vodka to your lips taking in more of the liquid that was about gone now. Daryl's eyes widen at your words and he can see the tear stains on your cheeks and the glistening of your still teary eyes as you lower the bottle from your lips. He knows you blame yourself completely and it breaks his heart to see you this hard on yourself. "No it's not. We're gonna find her n she's gonna be fine." He counters with a soft deep voice making your eyes snap up to him.
"Yes it is." You say with a harsh tone as you start to climb out of the back seat trying not to stumble dispute how drunk you were. Daryl stood up but didn't move back much because he was afraid you were gonna fall over. "No it ain't now stop. Your drunk darlin'." Daryl says sternly as he held his hands up ready to grab your arms to support you if you lose your already swaying balance. You roll your eyes, "It is. It should be me. Not Sophia.." You slur out looking down mad at yourself. He sighs grabbing the bottle of vodka from your hands and sets it on the roof of the but you still stare at the ground. He lifts your chin with his thumb and index finger looking deep into your eyes with this piercing blue ones. "Don't say that." He says seriously pulling you into his chest hugging your body close.
He kisses your head as your arms wrap tightly around his waist, "Ya hear me?" He asks sternly against your head and you nod a little taking a deep breath. "I love you." He says softly and you nod looking up at him. "I love you too." You say softly as you pull back a little and suddenly the world starts to spin making your legs threaten to buckle beneath you. "Whoa easy." Daryl says as you grab ahold of his arms of balance. "Ya think ya can walk back?" He asks you and you scoff drunkenly. "Maybe?" You question looking over his shoulder and finding you can't even see the RV you know for a fact that you should be able to see. "No." You correct yourself and sigh before looking back up at Daryl watching you with an amused look. He thinks your adorable when your drunk.
He smirks at you while grabbing the almost empty bottle of vodka from the roof of the car, it only had about three or four shots left in it. "I guess I'll just have to carry you back." He says nonchalantly making you widen your eyes slightly at the idea. "That can be taken one of two ways... and I'm drunk so..." you say with a mischievous smirk. He scoffs playfully before downing the remaining alcohol while keeping eye contact with you as a slight blush makes its way up to his cheeks. He was the only person in the world who could turn you on by chugging vodka. He tosses the bottle over the car into the woods, the bottle landing with a thud in the dirt, "What?" He asks grinning down at you and you just shake your head drunkly amused.
"You so fucking hot." You say with a cheeky smile and he scoffs at you again playfully while rolling his eyes. "Yeah your wasted." He says amused before scooping you up into his arms making you squeal out a little at his sudden movements. You wrap your arms around and burry your face in the crook of as his neck as he holds you bridle style. "Maybe a little." You say your lips brushing against him and your breath tickling his skin as he walks back towards the RV. He bit his lip a little loving the feeling of your lips against him. It made his mind wander back to the many dirty thoughts he had about you daily. One of them specifically takes place on his motorcycle. He suddenly realizes he had no idea where he was gonna put you sleep tonight. He had just his motorcycle and the truck was what you and him had been sleeping in.
"Shit." He mumbles to himself as he makes it to the RV still holding you bridle style. "What?" You ask still letting your head rest against his shoulder keeping your tired eyes closed. Daryl was about to answer you when Rick and Shane spotted you being held by Daryl. "(Y/n)!" Rick calls and him and Shane rush over to you and Daryl. "What?" You ask rising you head to look at your brothers with a confused face. "What happened? Ya alright?" Shane asks you and you roll your eyes. "M'drunk what do you think." You ask sarcastically as you close your eyes leaning against Daryl once again. Rick and Shane both have the same unamused look as they look form your small form to Daryl who held you unfazed by your sass. If anything he thought it was adorable.
"Where you two sleepin' tonight?" Shane asks earning a look from Rick and a sly grin from you. "Was tryin to figure that out." Daryl responds and you sigh. "Could take the mattress that's shoved in that van across the way and put it in the bed of that truck beside the RV." You say earning you a surprised look from Daryl and your brothers. "I'm drunk not and idiot stop looking at me like that." You say not needing to look at them to know they were surprised with your clever idea considering how drunk you still were. "Shane go with him to get the mattress. I got her." Rick says and you feel yourself get handed gently over to your brother. You whine a little at this but let it happen. You open your eyes to see Rick walk over to the steps of the RV and sit down with you still in his arms.
"How ya doin sis?" Rick asks you checking to see if you were even still awake. "Still awake if that's what your askin'." You reply and he chuckles at you. "And sobering up thank god." He teases with a chuckle making you smile. "So Daryl huh?" He asks you and you can hear the grin in his voice. "Yeah.. had a thing for him since I met him. Told him at the CDC and now we're here. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, haven't exactly had the chance to tell anyone, and honestly I don't even know what we are." You reply and you realize you haven't actually asked Daryl if you were considered in a relationship. "Eh I figured it out. It's obvious you two are sweet on each other." He says as you watch Shane and Daryl carry the mattress over to the truck. You two acted as if you were in a relationship but it just hadn't clarified it up yet.
"I haven't even asked if he wanted a relationship so I don't think I can consider us together." You say honestly and Rick stays silent for a second. "Well do you love him?" Your brother asks you and you nod. "Okay well dose he love you?" Rick asks continuing. "Yeah I mean he's said it a few times now." You reply but sigh after. "I told him he was the love of my life and I think it caught him off guard cause he didn't say anything back. Then again Daryl isn't a man of many words." You tell your brother who stays silent, listening, and thinking of what to say next.
"Well is he?" Rick asks you looking down at you watching Daryl. You think for a second before looking up at your twin, "Yes. I know he's the love of my life just like I know your my soul mate." You say looking up at your big brother earning a soft smile from him. "Alright well talk to him about it, but just a heads up if he breaks your heart I'll kill him." He says sweetly making you giggle at him playfully smaking his shoulder before turning back to see Shane and Daryl finishing up shoving the mattress into the bed of the truck snugly.
Rick smiles down at you happy that his little sister found the one for her. He knew Daryl was her whole heart by the way she looked at him. The only reason he was so okay with it was because of the way Daryl looked at her. Daryl always looked at (Y/n) like she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. In all honesty it was because Daryl did think she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Rick stands with his little sister still in his arms as Daryl and Shane make they're way back towards them.
"Good night sis. I love you." Rick says squeezing you lightly and kissing the top of your head before handing you back to Daryl. "Night, I love you too Rick." You say with a light smile before looking over at Shane, "Night Shane. Thank you, n I love you." You say earning a playful eye roll from him. "Yeah yeah I love you too. Good night." Shane responds to you and both your brothers nod at Daryl respectfully before he turns carrying you to the truck a few paces away from the RV.
He sets you down gently letting you sit on the tail gate before he starts unlacing your boots for you. "Thank you." You say softly as he slips them off your feet and setting them to the side of the truck bed so the weren't on the ground in case you needed to put them on quickly. He kisses your forehead as an answer before he hops up beside you unlacing his own boots. You slip your bra off putting it on your boots as he slides his boots off putting them between his side of the mattress and the truck bed just like yours. You slide back laying down comfortably as he flops back against the mattress with a sigh making you smile at him because his legs still hung half off the tail gate. "Come here." You say after a second knowing he would fall asleep like that if you let him.
He slides up beside you and closing the tail gate so if a walker did stumble by it would be less likely to see you two. Dale and Shane were taking watch on top of the RV so you two were safe anyway. He grabs something before laying down beside you. You were about to ask what he grabbed but you felt something soft covering you as Daryl pulled you closer to him. He had grabbed a blanket and had covered you both up in it. You snuggle into his chest and he wrapped his arms around your body holding you close. "Thank you. I love you." You whisper sleepily to him not sure if he was still awake or not. "Ain't gotta thank me darlin.' I love you too. Go to sleep." He drawls out with his husky sleepy voice as you start to fall asleep in his arms under the stars.