Chapter 31 :
Numby
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Nick's POV:
It was my fault. All my fault. I shouldn't have let her kiss me. I could easily push her away. She was gripping me tight, true, but I could push harder. I swear, Terry, if something'll happen to Zoe, I won't even think twice before killing you.
Four hours have passed after I got a call from the hospital. They've found Zoe's phone and only one number on the speed dial - mine, so they've called me. I was in the hospital a few minutes after that Zoe was brought here. She was sent straight to the operation. I saw her lying down on the hospital bed unconscious. It was my fault. Her skin was full with little pieces of glass, her forehead bleeding too much and her wrist crooked. I ran after the doctors that rolled the bed away from me, but the door was slapped in my face and I had brought a chair from the waiting room to sit right outside the door. After an hour she was sent to reanimation and I was still unable to enter. So I brought my chair next to the door and sat down. Three more hours. Three freaking hours and no news. An hour ago some doctor exited and the only thing he told me was that her state was currently unknown. I was ready to kick his face until he was in the same 'currently unknown' state as Zoe.
As soon as she was sent to the reanimation room, her parents arrived. They've also brought their chairs and were sitting across from me. Mrs. Millery was sobbing in Mr. Millery's shoulder, who looked like he was going to cry himself. No lies, I was barely holding. If something happened to her, I'd never forgive myself.
Telling what happened to her parents was hard enough thing to do, not to mention the fact that they were now suffering because of me. I promised to take good care of her and I failed. She was probably one tiny step away from death and I would make her take hundreds of steps back, whatever it took. I could cure her at least for one step, but I needed her alive for it. It was my fault and my duty to fix.
Billy was here, too. I also hurt him. He sat a couple of steps away from my chair, staring at the floor as if deep in thought. As soon as I got a call, I found Billy and we drove away in his car. Four freaking hours have passed and her state was totally unknown to us. It was quarter to 2AM already and my lids felt heavy, but nothing would make me fall asleep tonight. Or tomorrow night. Or any night until she was awake and alright.
It hurt to think about what she felt when she found me kissing with Terry. I told her that she kissed me out of the blue, but I doubt she heard. Her teary eyes were forever in my head now. The beautiful eyes that I made cry. I shouldn't have let her drive away. I knew she had drank and I knew that she wasn't in the state to drive, but I couldn't make her stop. I had to make her stop. Now it was too late.
I had to swallow the ball in my throat every two seconds. Zoe. Oh, Zoe. I wouldn't be able to live without you. There was no way I would.
It was already 2 in the morning when a doctor exited her room. All the four of us jumped up.
"Are you to Zoe Millery?"
No, shit, we're waiting outside the reanimation room of the girl we don't know.
"Yes," said Mr. Millery, "How is she, doctor?"
Doctor shook his head, frowning. I died a few times before he finally managed to choke out some words, "She has a very bad damage of head. She might wake up with amnesia..."
My breath just stopped in my throat. No. Just not amnesia. She could not have an amnesia, that was impossible.
I heard gasps coming from her parents, but I thought I'd just break down if I looked at them.
"Although," the doctor continued, "There is still a chance that she'll remember everything."
It took everything in me to make a sound, "How big?" I asked.
"How big what?" he asked back.
"Chance," I said, pissed, "How big is the chance of her remembering everything?"
"Fifty."
Oh, just great. Fifty on fifty. That was just amazing. Nothing good ever happened when chances were fifty on fifty.
"What else?" Billy asked from beside me.
"She's in coma. We think she'll wake up somewhere from a couple of days to a month."
Another gasps from Mr. and Mrs. Millery.
From a couple of days to a month? You've got to be kidding me!
"We'll move her to the ward as soon as we finish checking everything once again. Now, if you esxcuse me..." he trailed off and went back to the reanimation room.
Damn it, she has to wake up! I won't be able to handle her coma.
We sat back on our seats, waiting for them to finish checking her and roll her out.
"Man," Billy said, making my head turn to him, "It's not your fault."
I chuckled deeply, my own sound scaring me it was so heavy. I got old in waiting. "Of course, it is," I replied.
"Did you kiss her?" he asked sternly.
I shook my head, looking down, "No."
"Then it's not your fault. Don't eat yourself for it, man. Terry's a basic bitch. You had to see her in a car with me, she almost made out with all the three of us.
"But she did make out with me."
"Man, stop. It wasn't your fault. You were trying to pull out, weren't you?" I nodded and he continued, "Then it's her fault, not yours. You won't change anything by falling in depression. You'd rather cheer her up, man. She now needs us next to her."
"Son," Mrs. Millery said from the seat opposite of mine, "Tell me again what happened."
I clenched my jaw, "I don't think it's a good idea, Mrs. Millery."
She wiped her eyes and sat straight. She looked a lot like her daughter when she cried. The thought twisted my heart all at once.
"Just tell me," she repeated firmly.
I leaned with my elbows on my knees, "We were on a party of her friend's. I went away to have a drink and when I came back to the dance floor, I didn't find her. So I sat in the kitchen,talking with one of my friends. Later I went to the backyard to breath in a fresh air. That girl from her school, Terry, was there. She spoke to me about how I had to be jealous for Billy's friendship with her," I saw Billy's head turn to mine from the corner of my eye, but I ignored it, keeping my head down as I spoke, "I knew it was stupid, so I brushed her off. She started flirting with me and soon enough kissed me without the second thought. I tried to push her away by her shoulders.
"Zoe walked in right in that second. She saw us and turned around. I kept telling her what happened, but I think she wasn't listening. She ran away and sat in her car. I don't think she was going to drive away until I appeared. I knocked on her opposite window, repeating the explanation, but she just- just drove away. After 10 or 15 minutes I got a call from the hospital. I was on her speed dial so they called me. Next you know it."
It felt as if Hulk was gripping my heart with the most fierce attitude he's ever had. I really felt like crying right now, but I had to be strong for her.
"Son," Mrs. Millery said with pity in her voice, "You shouldn't blame yourself so much."
My head shot up to her. I expected her to blame me, shout at me, keep crying, but instead she was trying to make me feel better.
"What do you mean?" I asked her.
"Son, I see how you worry about my Zoe. I am sure you couldn't do such thing on purpose."
"Even if I don't really like you anymore," said Mr. Millery, "I don't blame you, boy. That Terry girl better pray I never meet her."
"Thank you," I said, "But don't lie to yourself. I love your daughter, but I made her fall in coma."
"You-"
Mrs. Millery was cut off by the door opening next to us and the nurses rolled her bed to the ward. We followed them slowly and quietly, as if Zoe'd wake up if we made a noise. I couldn't see her face, but I didn't try too hard in fear of seeing her damages. That would kill me.
All of us were about to enter her ward, but the doctor stopped us, "Two at a time," he said.
As much as I wanted to see her, hold her hand and try to fix her at least a little by that Silva crap, I couldn't imagine what her parents felt, so I stepped back, allowing them to enter first. Billy and I sat in the chairs outside her ward.
"You know how we're stronger than anyone when together, right?" I said, my head resting on the cold surface of the wall.
"Yea," Billy said, "She told me."
"And you know how I cured her bruised wrist twice. So I thought that maybe-" my voice trailed off and I had to swallow to continue, "Maybe I'd be able to help somehow."
I teared my gaze away from the white ceiling and turned my head on the side to look at Billy.
He nodded, "It could work. I don't know, you're better at Silvology."
Yeah, right. Silvology. Who knew a thing from Silvology?
She'll be alright, I told myself. Just in case hoping was the only thing I had left. She's strong, she'll survive this. And when she wakes up, you'll tell her what happened and repeat to her that you love her as many times as needed for her to believe you.
I remembered how I first saw her. She ran against me in McDonald's. Right that instant I couldn't think somebody could look as cute as her. That night when I called out for her from my side, I prayed I didn't cause her too big problems. I was the happiest man ever born when we kept meeting every time I left academy. I wanted to look at her forever. She was the only girl I've ever wanted in such innocent ways. I wanted to hold her hand and hug her from behind, I wanted to buy her her favourite food and comfort her after watching a scary movie together. I wanted to cuddle with her forever. I wanted her in the most innocent ways.
When I found out that she was also in the hospital that I was in because of getting stabbed, I tried running out of the ward to see her. But I was way too weak to fight and when she came herself, I couldn't be happier. Each time there was a knock on my door, I prayed it was her, paying me a visit. Most if the time it were nurses with disguisting foor and medicines, but Zoe came everyday. She saved me from starving by bringing me McDonald's everyday. I wanted her to stay with me forever. That time that she fell asleep next to me, I couldn't stop staring at her, she was beautiful. When I saw a bruise on her wrist, I was at the edge of coming up with the ideas of murdering whoever did this to her. I had thousands of scenarios made up in my head of who could've hurt her until she answered and when she did, I actually started thinking of which kind of knife I had to use.
I felt like I had to protect her all the time. That time when that son of a bitch sat in front of her and started flirting with her for the first time at McDonald's and the time she got in the hospital with me, I had to protect her. As she became my girlfriend, I was the happiest I've ever been, because I knew she was mine and no one else's. I knew that I could officially kick to the grave anyone who dared to put a finger on her in a wrong way. I'm never that agressive, but that bastard deserved what he got. I jumped out of my skin from anger and rage when he kissed her against her will in that terrible alley, or in her room on the Halloween party. It hurt to imagine how trapped and humiliated she felt when the bastard locked them in her own room. I literally murdered a boy because he hurt her, and now I hurt her probably even worse. Did that mean I had to murder myself?
I had to protect her from everything, but I couldn't protect her from myself. I hurt her in a way that no one ever had and I felt the shittest way possible because of it.
Zoe's POV:
Pain. It was all I felt. Pain everywhere. Hurting both, physically and mentally. I wanted to cry like I've never cried before, but I didn't even have enough energy to open my eyes. The last thing I remembered were horns. Lot's and lot's of horns. Also, I remembered Terry kissing Nick and it made me want to crawl in a fetal position, take some tissues and stay like that forever. Why was I awake? Didn't my car turn upside down? I wondered how long I've been up...
It took me everything to try and open my eyes so that I'd let at least someone know I was awake and alive. At least on the outside. I tried my best and in result, my eyes slowly creeked open. I thought the sharp light would blind me, but it was pretty dark. I could see everything in the room, but the only light source was moonlight coming from the window.
"Zoe," a figure spoke in front of me.
Nick.
"Zoe," he whispered, "I'm sorry, Zoe."
So am I.
"I love you," he said, kissing the top of my forehead. His lips felt a burning sensation on my skin and made my eyes close from both, pleasure and pain.
I love you, too.
I should say that. I should say I loved him, but the lack of energy didn't only take my ability to speak, but also made my eyes slowly close and once again, I was drawn in the blackness.
Nick's POV:
Oh, how I wished she told me she loved me, too. It was already 5 in the morning, an hour passed after she'd woken up. I came inside a couple of hours ago with Billy, who left soon enough, giving me time alone with her. Seeing her almost broke me. Her face was covered in scratches, her head was bandaged and so was her wrist. I held her healthy hand and never let go, trying my best to do something to help her. I used visualization, concentration and everything I've ever been told about using my Silva powers. After an hour, her eyelids broke apart and she looked at me. Not for long, but she did wake up. So she was alright. The thought itself made my insides calm down - she was going to be alright.
An hour passed after that and the sun was slowly coming up, warming and lighting up the room.
I sat there for hours, just staring at her and thinking, not even standing up from the chair. At probably 9 or 10 AM Zoe's parents peaked in.
Mrs. Millery gasped when she saw me there, "Nick! Why are you still here?"
I frowned at her, "What do you mean?"
"Have you been here whole night? After we left?"
I nodded, "Yea."
"Go home, now," she ordered.
"I can't," I replied, looking back at Zoe, "She needs me here."
"Go home and have a shower before you started to smell," she told me with a slight smile, "She'll have us by her side."
"But what if she wakes up?"
"We'll be here. Go home, have a rest, have a shower and then come back."
I looked between her and Zoe. If she woke up and didn't find me next to her bed, would she be disappointed? But her parents would keep her company until I was back. And a hot shower sounded just like what I needed.
I looked back and Mrs. Millery, "I'll be back as soon as I can."
She nodded at me and with one last glance at unconscious Zoe, I left her room. I caught the first cab I saw and went to my house. Returning to academy would take too much time and the house was probabky empty right now. Dad would be at work and when was the last time my mother stayed home?
I was right. Lights were off everywhere. I opened the door with the keys that was forever and always in my wallet and entered. Walking upstairs, I went in the shower and made the water a little too hot. I didn't even have the enrgy to think. After crawling out of the shower I lied on my bed without even taking my clothes on, just in a towel around my waist. I set the alarm clock for two hours in case I didn't wake up before and went to sleep.