"I don't want you to leave until Christmas," I said, sitting on the counter of Luke's kitchen in his apartment while he made us dinner.
"Hey, we're not thinking about that right now," he said, eyeing me twirling my hair with a frown. "Don't give me all that bad energy, it's going to make the alfredo taste bad."
"Okay, okay," I sighed. "I'll hold off until later."
He smirked at me, and I managed to give him a small smile back. "That's more like it. And besides, you know I'm going to call you and Skype as much as I can, and write you letters, and see you on holidays and stuff. You'll hear from me so much you'll start getting sick of me."
"That's unlikely," I rolled my eyes. "I put up with an entire school year of getting on your nerves just fine and look where we are now."
"Well I wasn't praising you and constantly telling you that you're beautiful and all the other sappy things I do now," he said. "It's easier to get tired of that."
"Well if you knew about half the things I think about you when you'd have been tired of me the first week you knew me," I smiled.
He rolled his eyes. "If you don't remember correctly, I WAS tired of you the first week."
I let out a genuinely whole-hearted laugh at his comment, glad that we had come as far as we had. He laughed with me, finishing up the alfredo sauce he was making and dishing our pasta and salad for ourselves.
Luke's dinner was delicious, as it always was, and cuddled up together in bed after a game of chess, which I had beat him at like always.
Laying with him and knowing it was our last night together was hard, my head against his chest, and I couldn't help it even though he had insisted that I not dwell on it so much. I couldn't stop the tears from coming to my eyes.
"Hey come on, don't cry Daisy." He reached over and brushed my tears away, leaning in and kissing me. "We're here together now, that's all that matters."
I nodded, and he leaned in and kissed me again, longer this time, more intention to try to get my mind off of it. I let him, soaking in his embrace and enjoying the time I had with him while it still lasted. He rolled onto his side to continue his kisses, pushing my hair from my face, his hand slowly trailing down to my collar bone, down my chest, resting near my hips and slowly slipping his hand into my panties. I gasped softly into his kiss as he slipped a finger into me.
"One more time tonight for old times sake?" He asked, winking at me. I managed to giggle a little, but was quickly cut off as he added another finger and I moaned softly, rolling over so I was on top and he pulled my shirt over my head.
"I love you so much," I said, leaning down to kiss him again and he moaned softly as I pushed my hips against his. I tugged his shirt over his head, kissing down his chest and down to his sweatpants where I pulled them down his legs and freed his already hard erection. I sucked him into my mouth, earning a gasp as he touched my head gently at first, but then pulled me away and said, "no, I want all of you tonight."
He pulled me back up close to him, flipping us over again so he was over me, pulling my own pajama pants and panties down my legs, kissing my thighs and spreading them apart before leaning down with his tongue and using it against my core. I moaned again, his soft tongue against me doing criminal things to my body like it always does. It wasn't long before I had tugged him back towards me, and he was reaching into his drawer for a condom.
-
I had passed out in Luke's arms that night, sleeping soundly within the comfort of his embrace until I had to wake in the morning and help him pack up the last of his minimal belongings.
The morning was quiet, neither of us wanting to face the reality of the situation. I didn't say anything to him actually, until we were at the train station and it was time to actually say goodbye.
"Am I allowed to cry now?" I asked, but tears were already coming out and there was no stopping it this time.
"No," he said softly, pulling me in for a tight hug. "You know I'm not going to stop thinking about you the whole time."
"Me too," I said, hugging him tighter to me. I didn't want this moment to end, but I knew it had to. I pulled away and he leaned down and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips.
"I'll call you tonight, I promise," he said. "And you're going to do great at uni and I can't wait for you to tell me all about your first day."
I smiled at him through my tears, kissing him one more time. "I love you so much, Luke."
"I love you too, Daisy." He kisses my forehead before releasing me. "It'll be okay. I promise."
I nodded. "I know." I sure hoped it would.
-
Luke kept his promise to me, just like I did to him. He called me regularly, multiple times a week, telling me how much he missed me. I tried not to cry as much as I could. I missed him so much but it got easier knowing I had days I would see him again to hold onto.
His calls and words of validation were comforting, and I trusted him, but still couldn't help but worry when we had short phone calls. I knew he wouldn't cheat on me, but the worry still sat prominent in the back of my mind that he would find some other student he thought was cuter than me, smarter than me, wittier than me, and he'd start sleeping with her and slowly grow tired of me. I knew this was because of what Alex did but it didn't stop the worry. But I promised myself not to be wrapped up in this and torn up by it when it was clearly not the reality.
Uni, on the other hand, was everything I dreamed of and more. The freedom I had was better than the strict setting of the private school I'd be stuck in for so long, it occurred to me that school when you're younger is much more like prison than anything else. But once I went to BPP, I had the freedom to choose my classes, my major, no school wide consequences for being late to class by accident or needing to read things aloud with everyone else. It was independent and self paced, which is where I really excelled best in my studies.
Surprisingly, my first year of uni seemed to slip right past me without even noticing. In the spring time Luke had promised me that he had a big surprise for me in the summer, and I couldn't guess what it could have been, but he was very secretive about it and wouldn't even give me hints. It drove me insane.
Eleanor and I actually met up with each other for spring break instead of spending it with Luke and she gushed to me all about this guy she had met and how respectful he is, and how well he treated her and how they'd only been together for a little over a month but that she was convinced he was really the one for her. I made her show me pictures and I approved, as he was a very incredibly good looking guy. I was so happy for her, a bit envious that she got to see him all the time and I didn't have that luxury with Luke, but more excited for her than anything else. She had really started realizing her love for maths, which I could not at all relate to but was excited that she was figuring out maybe what she wanted to major in.
By the time summer came around, Luke had been so secretive of his surprise that I almost forgot about it entirely. In any case, I was more excited to see him than I was for anything else.
As he got off the train, I ran to him and jumped into his arms, him holding me close and tight. "I missed you so much."
He set me down, kissing me softly and smiling at me. "Yep, beautiful as ever, just as I remember."
"Stop it," I blushed, smiling at him as he kissed my nose. "Come on, let's go get something to eat. I'm starving."
As we sat down and ate our sandwiches at this little cafe, I caught up with Luke about everything he had been dealing with the past few weeks, finishing up last minute grades and everything. I had finally finished all my finals and had officially passed my first year at uni, and was glad to have it done, behind me and have a whole summer to have Luke for.
"Hey, I have that surprise for you," he said as we walked to his apartment, which wasn't far from where we had gotten lunch. I stopped and looked at him digging in his small carry-on bag he'd had from the train, pulling out a very small box and handing it to me.
"You said it was a BIG surprise," I teased, and he rolled his eyes playfully.
"It is big, you'll see that once you open it up you lunatic."
"Okay, okay, it better not be your dick somehow magically squished in here."
He blushed. "Very funny."
I smiled at him smugly and finally turned to the little box and untied the string around it. I lifted the top to see it was a key.
"Is this—"
"It's a key to my apartment," he said. "Well, our apartment. I want you to live with me."
"Well yes," I smiled at him. "I figured I'd be over pretty much all the time this summer anyways." I had to admit, this wasn't what I was expecting. And I didn't really want to be stuck there all winter by myself without him.
"There's more," he said. "I'm going to be home all winter this time. I didn't want to spoil it for you, but I've actually been trying to train to get a spot as a professor at BPP and they finally hired me for this next fall quarter."
"Shut up." I stood with my mouth gaping open.
He smiled. "I'm not working at that private school anymore, packed up my entire classroom just last week actually."
"Oh my god Luke! This is amazing!" I yelled, throwing my arms around him. "I get to see you all year?"
"Yes," he laughed, and I squeezed him, suddenly excited to go home to our new shared apartment.
"Well let's go! I'm going to have a lot of packing to do soon!" I pulled his hand down with me towards his apartment, unable to wipe the smile from my face and felt a huge wave of relief wash over my whole body.
We spent that night together, and I bugged him about all the redecorating we would need to do because I simply couldn't live in an apartment so bland. He laughed the whole time, playing along and agreeing that he wasn't the best at decorating. Our idea of celebration was the same as it always is, having lots of sex especially seeing as we hadn't in so long it was needed.
I laid with him in our bed afterwards, cuddled up into his side, feeling relieved and content and finally like I had nothing lurking around the corner. Except maybe telling my parents, but that was the least of my worries at the moment.
"I can't tell you how happy I am about this, and you," I sighed.
"But I get it, because I feel the same," he said, tracing small circles on the bare skin of my arm.
I rolled over and smirked at him. "I never thought I'd be saying this when I first met you, but I'm glad you replaced my old English professor."
He laughed, pulling me closer to him and giving me a kiss on the lips. "I'm sure that was painful for you to admit."
"Incredibly painful, might need some morphine," I replied, though the air around us was lighthearted and I couldn't hide my smile.
"I love you so so much," he said, smiling still and kissing me again.
"I love you so so much," I said back, leaning into his embrace and feeling all of the pieces finally fall into place.
-
A/N: oh wow I actually went on a roll and wrote another chapter, looks like it finally haunted me enough. Just an epilogue left before it's all over now, expect it soon! Thanks again for all the reads and comments, I'll never forget you guys xoxo