CHAPTER NINETEEN
eyes make their peace in difficulties
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𝐄lliot was not a masochist. Some people would think otherwise. Because most of the time she was either getting herself hurt or watching other people get hurt. Then again, that's what always happened around her ever since she was a child. I suppose it did affect her whole childhood and the way she grew up.
Once again, the Grounder traitor had saved another person she swore she would never save. But of course, when did she ever do what she actually says? She did say once that she wouldn't show herself to the sky people, but ended up being entangled with the whole shit show and Bellamy Blake.
As for the situation right now. Before Gustus searched her earlier that day, she saw him stuffed a vial of something in Raven's pockets. Elliot didn't say anything about it but she had her doubts. It was funny how she wanted to blame someone else, but she ended up putting the blame on her own self instead. How ironic.
Elliot hoped she at least had been useful until the end.
Her gaze stared at everyone who watched her as the Grounders tied her wrist around the pole, her arms stretched above her. She averted her eye towards Lexa when she appeared in front of her. Staring right through her soul, masking a strong façade, or what she could muster. Elliot was finally going to die.
"I take no joy in this, Elliot," Lexa began, holding a jagged knife. From a distance, Lincoln took a few steps forward. "But this time, justice will be done."
Lincoln wanted to run towards his sister and disappear with her━even taking Octavia with them or anyone she wanted to bring. As long as Elliot gets to live. He could see behind her act. Elliot wasn't scared. Sure, she did not want to die, but she wouldn't care if she did either. She didn't know which one was worse.
"Good for you," Elliot spat shakily. Her face scrunched a little, the corner of her disfigured lips squishing against each other. It didn't bother Lexa but it sure bothered someone else who hadn't seen what lies underneath her mask.
Lexa just stared at her but Elliot saw through her façade. After all, they weren't that different. Elliot had been once her close friend. She didn't say anything afterward and inched the knife closer to her exposed arm. Then slowly but painfully began slicing through her, the blade cold but familiar to her skin.
Shivers went down her spine as she bit down her lips to not make any noise. She was not going to give them that satisfaction. The look on her face still showed that she was in great pain. She forced the urge to curse out loud, avoiding Lincoln and the others' worried eyes as they struggled to watch.
"We have to do something," Bellamy said hurriedly, about to rush forward and stop Lexa from hurting the female Grounder more than she had to.
"Wait." Kane stopped him. "We can't."
"Lincoln, talk to them!" Octavia said worriedly.
Lincoln clenched his fists, never tearing his gaze off his sister's. "I am trying."
After Lexa did the first cut on her arm, she moved on for Indra to take her turn. Elliot stared at the war chief before her as Indra lifted her shirt up and made a long cut on her stomach. Elliot only continued breathing when she stopped, the blade lifting from her skin. Well, that hurt like a bitch.
From her peripheral vision, she could see Nyko approaching Lincoln near the huts. Elliot mustered a faint smile when she dropped her head down, her silver hair covering her face. At least he could still live a life with Octavia. She asked the healer a favor before she got tied to the pole, and that was to help Lincoln. The least she could do.
One after another, the numbness was starting to seep in from each cut she endured. It was too much. She never thought she would come to this point. Then again, they'd always wanted to punish her for the things she did in the past. The things she was forced to do in the past. But no one has to know that, right?
"Stop!" Somebody yelled.
Elliot didn't have enough strength to look at whoever it was. She just continued staring at the ground, letting whatever happens, happened. Their voices weren't faint but the loss of blood was taking a toll on her body. She was never the healthiest since the world is a messed up place and there was no guarantee they could always eat food.
The Grounders had more fun cutting her than she'd liked. After all, they finally got to take their revenge and hurt her the same way she did to their people and friends. She deserved it. Elliot thought she deserved it. She knew she was never a good person.
She'd always been the bad guy. The Grounder traitor.
"It was you," Bellamy said darkly. His eyes filled with newfound detestation. "He tested the cup, he searched Raven, and Elliot stepped up to cover her because she knew all of you wouldn't hesitate to get her."
"Gustus would never harm me," Lexa said through gritted teeth.
"You weren't the target," Bellamy retorted. "The alliance was."
"We didn't do this and you know it," Clarke said firmly.
Elliot felt the ropes around her wrist loosened up but her head hung low. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist as her right arm fell over his shoulder. Her breathing was shallow and heavy, and she was slipping in and out of consciousness. Every touch made her body shiver because of the open wounds.
"Let me take her." She saw Lincoln rush forward despite her blurry vision. His heart twisted at the battered sight of his best friend. "El..."
"It's okay," Bellamy told him, and Elliot realized he had been the one holding her close. His chest vibrated as he spoke. "I've got her."
"Bellamy," Elliot coughed weakly, trembling hands reaching his shirt which she turned into a fist.
"You're okay," Bellamy said gently, running his thumb on her waist, drawing circles and stars, every shape in the galaxy. "You're going to be okay."
He carried her away from the Grounders with the others on his tail. Bellamy glanced at her fragile state and clenched his jaw at the damage they'd done to her. As if the scar on her face wasn't enough for them. He didn't know how she got it but he had a bad feeling the Grounders were a part of it.
"Lincoln." Elliot tensed when she remembered her brother. How he'd look so miserable and desperate watching her get tortured and the fact he couldn't do anything about it. "He shouldn't be here."
"He's all right," Bellamy assured her even though he had no idea what she meant by how Lincoln shouldn't be there. He looked at her, studying the way she was forcing herself to stay awake. "You saved Raven. Thank you."
Elliot looked conflicted for a second but she didn't say anything.
It didn't take long for her to recover, and Elliot now stood among the others, watching from afar as each Grounder took turns stabbing Gustus. It was her on that pole not long ago. It could've ended worse than this. Bellamy stood a little far behind her, constantly stealing glances her way as Lincoln wrapped a cloth around her body.
"This would've been Finn," Raven mumbled, tears swimming in her eyes.
Elliot glanced at her, muttering: "This would've been you."
Lastly, the Commander would take his life with a stab to his heart. Lexa stepped towards the man on the pole, bloodied and pained, but something he deserved. She respected him, but he did something that caused his life.
"Yu gonplei ste odon." And with those words, Lexa slowly drove her blade through his chest and ended his life once and for all.
"We're not so different, are we?" Abby muttered from beside Kane.
Elliot sat next to Bellamy, a small distance between them. There was Lincoln and Octavia in front of them around the small wood fire they shared. She had her eye closed but her ears were opened. She could hear the fire cracking and the buzz of the insects in the forest, the wind running over the tree leaves, and their hush and firm voices.
"How did you know it was Gustus?" Lincoln asked, which made Bellamy tear his gaze off the female Grounder next to him.
"He'd do anything for her, to protect her," Bellamy explained, his deep raspy voice entering her ears. At his words, Lincoln's gaze fell on Octavia. He'd do the same for her. "So it made sense."
"And look at the thanks he got," Octavia retorted.
"Guys! Listen to this."
At the sound of Raven's urgent voice, the ivory-haired Grounder turned around to look at the girl. A blanket upon her shoulders to keep her warm. The space mechanic held a radio in her hand and someone was talking on the other line but it was repeating the same things over and over.
"━We don't know how much time we have left, please hurry."
"We need to do this now," Bellamy told the blond. "You've got the alliance. Now is the time to use it."
"First, we need an inside man," Clarke said in realization. Then she looked at the older Blake. "You were right. Without someone on the inside to lower their defenses, turn off the acid fog, an army is useless. You should go."
Elliot immediately stood up from the ground, staggering to her feet. "That's suicide."
"I thought you hated that plan, that I would get myself killed," Bellamy said dryly.
"I was being weak," Clarke said hardly. "It's worth the risk."
"Is it, Clarke?" Elliot looked at her, the girl instantly backing down at her stare. She sent a glare at Bellamy's way. "You are going to yourself killed. And I'm not gonna be here for that."
"My map of Mount Weather." Clarke handed him the map before she turned on her heels and walked off. "Find a way to get on that radio and talk to us. Good luck."
Octavia looked worried. "Bell, how are you gonna━"
"I can get you through the tunnels," Lincoln butted in.
"No," Elliot snapped. She almost wanted to bang the two men's heads against each other as she gave them incredulous looks. "Are you insane?"
"He can't go back there, not yet," Octavia said firmly, turning around to give Lincoln the same look Elliot was giving him.
Elliot was too pissed off to formulate a perfect word that could get through their thick heads. Upon realizing that she was not needed there, she began to leave. It wasn't her and Lincoln against the world anymore. Her brother had found his love. Raven urged the female Grounder and the older Blake to follow after her to give the couple some space.
"You know, it's dangerous, right?" Elliot muttered, loud enough for him to hear as soon as Raven left them inside the tent.
Bellamy glanced at her from where he sat while she lied on a makeshift bed with her back facing him. He pursed his lips, looking back at the map Clarke gave him. Then he mumbled: "Yeah."
"Good." Her words surprised him, and he looked at the back of her head covered in ivory, imagining what could her expression be right now. "That'll keep you alive long enough before I somehow have to save you again."
"You won't." Bellamy shook his head. He only heard a small scoff of response from the Grounder.
The corner of his lips tugged into a small unnoticeable smile. He wasn't sure if she cared about him or if she was just upset she wouldn't be the one to kill him. But he let his thoughts disappear. Maybe this was just the way she was, and he needed to learn how to embrace that because had a feeling she was going to be around longer than he would've thought.
Bellamy didn't mind. He would've liked for her to stay around much longer.
Deep inside, Elliot was against the whole plan, Lincoln going back to the tunnels and Bellamy getting inside Mount Weather. It was like they had a death wish. But they had set their mind to it and she couldn't do anything else but watch. Well, not entirely.
She wasn't that stupid. She won't sit around and wait for anyone else to die. She couldn't sit still and do nothing with the thought of them going to the lion's den and getting themselves possibly killed because she wasn't there to save their asses.
Elliot didn't survive long enough just to watch her brother die again because she couldn't save him. She lost him once. She was going to make sure it wouldn't happen again.