"True love only deepens with time."
Avinash woke up to find his four-year-old daughter and wife snuggling into each other, fast asleep. He smiled at the cute scene. Jaanki was a wonderful mother. He was so proud of her. Mothers should be like his wife. She was the strict parent while he was the easy-going one. Their daughter, Jasika was a typical Papa's Princess. He leaned to kiss his daughter's forehead. He never thought he could love someone as much as he loved Jaanki. He was wrong when Jasika came into their lives. He got off the bed deciding to make tea after brushing his teeth.
"Good morning Di!" He greeted Ruchi as she walked into the kitchen still seeming sleepy.
"Madam is still asleep?" She asked sitting on the stool.
"Yes, with Jassi."
"You're such a domestic husband. Teach my husband something, Sir Ji is still snoring."
Avinash chuckled, "I used to be that too. But after Jasika things have changed. And it's the least I can do. I hate cooking but I can manage morning tea coffee."
Ruchi smiled in adoration. "Jaank, is one lucky girl."
"I am the lucky one," Avinash smiled handing her the cup filled with steaming ginger tea.
"Do you still feel the uncontrollable anger or the urge to...you know.." she shrugged leaving the rest for him to understand.
"Not really. I do get angry and it terrifies me honestly." He chuckled nervously, "I am just scared ...I don't want to go back to being what I was. I somehow can contain it now."
Ruchi sipped on her tea and looked at him thoughtfully. "Are you repressing your anger?"
"No. Repression is the worst way of dealing with your feelings. I have learned that the hard way."
"What do you do then?"
"Push-ups," he began grinning, "I box, or go for a run, or go swimming. Physical exercise indeed helps massively. And when I feel tired or hopeless I play with Jasika, she is a driving force, you know. Like a lifeline. She pushes me to be the best version of myself."
Ruchi smiled as her eyes grew misty. "Jaanki was complaining the other day," she began, "she says you don't share stuff...about your issues with her."
Avinash exhaled deeply. "I don't want to bother her."
"Well, then your not bothering her is bothering her." His wife's sister let out an infectious laugh.
"I will talk to her." He spoke putting his attention back on the bread toast. He plated it putting the plate before Ruchi.
"Thanks, Avi. Now you go wake your wifey up while I monitor the milk." She spoke pointing to the milk left to boil. He nodded walking back to the room.
Ruchi smiled. She was glad that they had finally settled together as a family. Jaanki was right, together they were happier. She placed a hand on her stomach wishing that the IVF treatment worked positively.
* * *
"Jaanki, I wanted to talk," Avinsha spoke when his wife was about to exit his office cubicle.
"About?"
"You." He answered getting off his chair, walking towards her.
"Avi, we made a deal. We don't drag our personal life here.." she spoke looking at him with disappointment as the wooden door of the room creaked and closed.
"I know. But... do you think I have started keeping things from you again?" He got to the point, skipping the unnecessary argument.
She was visibly taken aback at his statement. "Ah, no. Why, why would you think like that?"
He held her hand and guided her to sit on the chair. He stood against his desk holding her hand. "Ruchi Di spoke to me today morning..."
"Oh!" Was her response and she relaxed her body.
"I do get angry." He began not looking away from her. "But, it's under check, I promise. Jaanki, if I ever feel ..anything I will let you know. I don't want you to have this constant worry bothering you."
Jaanki smiled softly replying, "okay!"
"Also, there is ..umm, about Jasika." He took a deep breath wondering whether he should even talk about it.
"What, what about her?" Jaanki asked warily.
"You are sort of hard on her. I mean, in front of her. What I am trying to say is... You always make me the goodie parent before her. I know you do that for me. I understand. But, I wouldn't ever want her to love you any less. Let's balance it."
Jaanki swallowed thelumo that formed in her throat. He was right. She always took the policing job leaving Avinash to be the favorite of her daughter. In truth, she was scared. She didn't remotely want Avinash to ever get angry with their daughter.
It was the two put together- her love for Avinash and her protective instinct of a mother. Her fear translated to her love for her husband. She couldn't stand to see him guilty again. The mere thought was equivalent to a nightmare. At the same time, she didn't want her daughter to develop any hard feelings for her father.
He held her palm between his. "If you fear that I might ...." his voice trailed off. "Trust me, Jaanki, I would never hurt our angel." His eyes glistened with tears as he added, "Never."
"I trust you, Avi. You're her father. I agree I have wanted to be the one to regulate and police and scold. But..it's not because I don't trust you with her. No way, not at all. You're her father, Avi, you get the same rights as I do. It's just that..." she choked on her overwhelming emotion.
"You are scared for me." He completed looking into her eyes. "You are scared that I will go back into that darkness. If something ever goes wrong."
Jaanki lowered her gaze, as he gave words to what her heart held. She was scared, scared to loose her husband tot he darkness again. She felt his hand cup her face making her look upward.
"When will you stop being my wife before anything else?"
Jaanki scoffed pulling her hand back from his hold, " I can't .." tears trickled down her cheeks. He rubbed his thumb over the tracks to erase them, with struggling smile, "You're a very wilful wife."
She laughed pulling him up to kiss his lips. "A very feisty one too!" He muttered as she pressed her lips over his for a kiss. He smiled against her lips. As long as he had her by his side, his world was in peace. He couldn't be enough grateful to her for not leaving his hand through the dark times, for being the Wilful Wife.
Thank you for being a part of this journey. I hope you all enjoyed this journey as much as I enjoyed writing it.
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-Anami!♡