(A/N: This chapter COMPLETELY got away from me, it's so long and full of pictures and gifs so I hope it makes up for the long wait. A little tip, the images act as ways to split the sections of the chapter, so if it feels like it's jumping around a little bit, that's okay, the images are there to try and "organize" it. Anyway, I'm gone shut up, enjoy this very long chapter so be sure to comment, pretty please. Happy reading.)
Wedding No. 2: Maui, Hawaii.
Much to my wholehearted relief, Harry wasn't lying when he said Nick wouldn't be in Hawaii and even though Jeff and Glenne are here as well, Harry and I... otherwise known as Hia as Nick put it during the conga line back in Spain... have had ample alone time.
Not that our sexytime status has changed since our Spanish getaway.
The wedding ceremony there was beautiful and the reception was free raucous fun and I even took part.
I know, I even shocked myself.
At one point during the party, Nick and Harry had me sandwiched between them as Break Free by Ariana Grande was blasted through the ballroom.
It was oddly arousing but it did nothing to arouse Harry Jr and nothing has in the weeks since.
But Harry's been very busy with work so, without Harry's situation, the odds were against us.
This is how his normal life is, constantly working and it's only going to get busier the closer we get to his tour.
I hadn't known how lucky I was having so much free time with him our whole relationship up to this point. I've liked having him all to myself but sharing him is coming closer and closer and the space in our relationship seems to be getting bigger and bigger and if a beautiful destination wedding can't inspire something, I don't know what will.
The resort in Maui is a beautiful secluded place. We've been able to go about our days with zero fan interference because he's surrounded by friends. The couple we are here to celebrate seems to have booked most of the place out... the realities of a lavish destination wedding.
The celebration is huge, the days leading up to the actual wedding tonight, full of activities that the guests could partake in if they wanted and the most delicious rehearsal dinner I have ever been to the other night and to top it all off, there's even a separate farewell brunch tomorrow morning to send off the newlyweds to their honeymoon.
It's all so lovely that I don't know how one can be here and not think of the possibilities but I can't see myself the center of all this attention. If Harry and I ever get to the point of marriage, and I hope we do, I can't see myself wanting a big wedding like this. Something beautiful and simple on a beach on some tropical island or in his mother's garden at sunset... just Harry and I and the pups and only our closest dearest loved ones.
Something small and intimate, that's what feels right to me.
But as I look over at Harry surrounded by friends and acquaintances on the dancefloor, I'm not certain I can say the same for him.
Oh gosh, listen to me stirring up problems before my wedding is even in the picture.
We're not even close to a proposal!
We don't even live together yet... calm yourself, Mia.
It's been a few weeks since the wedding in Spain and I regret to say that we haven't gotten very far in terms of resolving Harry's performance issue. Part of it was that he and his team were working nonstop leaving little time for some private time but when we were alone, Harry would get really frustrated because his dick wouldn't magically be fixed after a few minutes of making out and, if it wasn't already clear, frustration is not the sexiest thing in the world... a real cock-killer as Harry so eloquently worded it.
I get it, I'm almost always in my own head which then causes issues regarding whatever I'm trying to do but you can't give up and I won't let him. The man in which so many things come so seamlessly, cannot give up on this.
And my God I've gone nearly mad making sure we don't give up.
We've tried sultry music, intimate pool time, a couple's massage, Harry's favorite rom-com... all failures. I even looked up food to help get you in the mood but I ended up chocking on an oyster and spitting it right into Harry's jacuzzi.
Now I doubt anyone has seen a half-chewed slimy oyster floating on the surface of a dormant jacuzzi but if anyone was wondering, it is nauseating, not sexy.
I swear I heard Harry gag.
After that episode, I took a little break hoping that some inspiration will fling itself at me before it gets too late.
For right now, I'm all out of ideas and Monica is so bogged down with her summer courses that I can't pull her away from it to get some suggestions on my sex life.
Yeah, I know, shocking.
This is why I'm pretty happy Jeff and Glenne are here... well, more Glenne then Jeff when it comes to all this, obviously.
Glenne and I have been friendly since the beginning but after our little talk in Spain, we've been uncharacteristically close... well uncharacteristic for me.
We're natural friends, polar opposites in a lot of ways, she's in love with Jeff after all, but she understands this world I'm living in with Harry and understands him almost as well as I do.
And now she knows a bit more about the two of us as a couple.
I can't believe how much I revealed about our private life but before I realized it she asked me how we were doing and I found myself talking about what Harry told me in Spain and all our failures since.
Oh, how times have changed.
"You know, I never thought I would be the one pushing this kind of thing but it just doesn't seem to be cooperating and it's getting to him and I'm at a loss as to how to move forward." I look back at my companion and realize what I'm saying. "I'm so sorry I just blurted all that out to you. You've been his friend for a long time and I'm sure it's awkward talking about our bedroom time but it's just that I haven't been able to talk to my best friend and all this is just driving me crazy and talking about it is driving Harry crazy and well... we're both going crazy and no sex is being had."
"You know crazy sex could be kind of fun," she tilts her head in a knowing fashion.
I give her a look before sipping on my white wine. "I could imagine if only–"
"He could get an erection. Look I get it, Jeff had a similar issue a few years back. It was brought on by stress for him, so I understand."
"Thanks, Glenne. But if Harry knew I was talking to you he'd almost definitely never sleep with me ever again."
"I think we both know that's not true," she winks at me from over the rim of her cocktail. "He'd blush a little and act like we damaged his manhood, but that would all be for dramatic effect and then he'd be fine with it even if he said he wasn't. I'm sure it but let's just keep it between us, yeah? After all, Jeff and Harry have their own bromance, us girls need to stick together."
My heart swells at her words. Or maybe it's the wine but either way, I'm so happy Harry has Jeff so that I ca have Glenne.
"Are you coming on tour with us? I might need a fighting buddy if those two try to gang up on me on the road," I chuckle, astonished with myself at how easily she and I have become friends.
I know it's such a simple thing but for a lot of people, myself especially, it doesn't come easy. That's why when it does, friends are so so precious.
"Oh come on," she reaches over and gives my arm a reassuring shake. "Harry adores you. I'm sure he'd stop the entire bus brigade to get you ice cream or something." I smile knowing she's probably right even though I'd never ask.
"Now... regarding your problem. What have you been doing?"
"I mean, not as much as I'd like given he's been so busy but we did have a couples massage our second day here and I thought it would, you know, get something going but he was so annoyed and jealous by the end of it all he could fixate on was, and I quote, "that guy was way too hot and touching you far too much, especially when I can't," so nothing happened." I huff in disappointment.
I also offered to give him a blowjob for the very first time, two things I won't divulge to Glenne in such a populated space, but that plan was shut down very quickly, thankfully for a sweet-ish reason.
It was a regular day, the dogs were curled up in the sunshine streaming through the window and Harry and I were watching Titanic, he said it just happened to start a few minutes earlier when I was perfectly fine with Jurassic World, I would have actually preferred it to the heartbreak of one of Harry's favorites films but after everything he's going through, I gave him his Jack and Rose time.
Anyway, Leo and Kate were doing their sappy romantic thing when an idea popped into my head and I immediately blurted it out. There was no leeway time, no brief pause, it was born in my head and birthed past my lips instantly.
"Maybe I could try giving you a... blowie."
To my disappointment, Harry barely turned his head from the screen when he answered me, so engrossed with the fictional love story that moment that I fear it was giving him more feeling than our relationship currently.
"If you can't say it out loud then you're definitely not ready, love." Harry chuckled in the most adoring way one can when laughing at you.
"Fine," I gritted my teeth before I yelled back at him, thus startling him and our two dogs, all three of them finally giving me 100% of their attention. "A blow job! Do you think you can get it up if I give you a blow job?"
"Alright, alright," he held his hands up in surrender. "I'll just brush past that mild stress-induced insult," I quietly mouthed 'sorry' as he continued. "But I'll be damned if the first time I feel your lips around me is when I'm soft as a soggy doughnut dangling between my legs."
"Okay, no blow job."
"Yet," he piped up with confidence. "When we're both ready I want to have a raging hard-on, an erection so wild it'll feel like my cock might pop off if I don't get your mouth around me. Then, and only then will it happen. So no blow job...yet."
"Now who's the eager one?"
"It's what my dreams are made of, baby," he winked, pulling me in for a kiss... but just one kiss before Kate and Leo stole his attention again.
The subject hasn't come up again and we've made it all the way to Maui with very little action at all.
(A/N: The only action happening between Harry and Mia is on his Tee-shirt.)
"Hold on," Glenne grabs my attention back, taking my wrist in her hand on the table, "just because his bits aren't working doesn't mean he can't make sure you're satisfied. Are you telling me he hasn't done anything just for you?"
"We discussed it but he's so stuck in his head about it all that I'm not going force him. That's not the point, I want him to be into it or me right now so what would be the point? He's still in the middle of the grieving process, you know? And I want him to want to do stuff."
She nods in acknowledgment. "So what we need to do is get Harry to not think. Gosh, never thought I'd say that."
"Exactly and I've tried all I can think of and now I'm at a loss." Of course, this isn't saying much given my severe lack of experience and one can only google things so much before they fall into a deep raunchy hole that can scare you for quite a while.
"Are there things you two haven't done?"
"Yeah, loads," and suddenly a long list of sexual experiences pop into my head, mostly information Monica has had the joy of sharing with me over the years.
"Well, there you go. Try something new, something he might not expect. Exciting for both of you and might be the inspiration he needs to you know, inspire his–"
"Harry Jr."
"What's Harry Jr.?" Jeff asks sitting down next to Glenne. I'm speechless but luckily my new confidant and friend, answer for me.
"Oh, nothing babe. Where's Harry?" She asks and perfectly distracts him as he sits down before turning to me and whispers that we'll get back to this conversation later.
Jeff tilts his head to the dance floor where Harry is dancing and mingling with the same group of friends I left him with when Glenne and I bowed out to have a drink.
What the fans say, at least what I've found on my minimal excursions onto Twitter, is true. Harry always knows when he has eyes set on him and like magic, he spins around and locks eyes with me, sending a jolt of electricity through my body.
"Mia! Mia, come over!" I hear Harry shout over the music and from across the room so everyone can hear.
I sit there and look at him with his big smile and flushed skin and perfectly tailored suit. He looks amazing in it and I'm only a few drinks away from ripping it off him in lust and desperation.
How silly, when someone looks so good all you want to do is strip them down to their birthday suit anyway.
"She's about to toss the bouquet! You missed it last time!"
Yeah, I missed the bouquet toss in Spain.
Harry was more disappointed than I was about it, obviously, but my absence couldn't be helped.
Right, when the bride was instructed to toss her bouquet, Monica called and while the rest of the celebration was going on I was roaming around the terrace with my phone in the air trying to get a good enough signal to not only connect but to actually hear her and tell her about the developments of the situation.
The full connection didn't happen and I walked back into the ballroom to Harry playing with a bouquet of white flowers and Glenne, Jeff, and the rest of them laughing hysterically at him.
It didn't take long for me to realize what happened, Harry caught it himself and was rather proud of it.
"Mia, catch!"
Suddenly, he threw it at me and, surprisingly to me, I caught it without tossing a tray of champagne glasses or hors d'oeuvres in the air. "There you go love, got them especially for you."
"Harry, you stole this from all the other bridesmaids?" I gently admonish him with a giggle as I join the group. "Anyway, it doesn't count if you catch the bouquet, does it?"
"Why not?" He looks at me a little offended. "Maybe it's a sign you need to lock all this down," he smirks motioning to himself. "Read the signs, babe."
At the time, I was shocked by the fact he called me babe, it's always only 'baby' and it's always when he's a bit aroused, so the marriage comment didn't really stick.
And then Nick piped up, pulling his best friend in for a side hug. "Come on, Jennings. How could you resist this face? Make an honest man out of him."
Yeah, Nick has never been known for his subtlety but that's what makes him fun and such a good friend. He's not here in Hawaii with us so Harry is on his own in terms of fun and shenanigans.
"Come on, love. You've got to catch the bouquet for us!"
I watch as Harry saunters on over to where I'm sitting, met with a big and confident smile on his face. "I think Glenne and Jeff are a bit closer to that point than we are, H," I comment on the connotation catching the bouquet illudes to and I swear I hear Jeff choke on his drink next to me at the idea. "Take her with you instead."
"Why would you assume that, my love?" He looks at me with an unyielding expression, giving me no indication of how serious he is.
And just like Jeff a moment ago, it's my turn to choke on my drink.
We haven't even been together a year and we've gone through so much in recent months, we haven't even officially moved in together yet. He can't possibly be thinking of marriage already.
I must be staring longer than I think because he suddenly curls his finger under my chin and pushes my mouth closed. "Jaw off the floor, love. Come on." and he grabs my hand and pulls me up off the chair.
He leads me to the middle of the dance floor where a large group of the other female guests has gathered around.
"Harry, I don't need to be out here. I don't know anyone."
"That's just not true. You know me, Jeff and Glenne, the bride if just over there," he holds me from behind, setting his chin on my shoulder and pointing over to the beautiful woman all dressed in white.
"Harry," I nervously chuckle as the ladies crowd around where Harry and I are standing, in the center. "You're so silly."
He's a man who is very comfortable with attention, being front row center, but of course, he would be. A performer has to be and a performer he is.
"It's just a bit of fun," he wraps his arm around my shoulders, protectively tucking me into his side. "Now look alive, she's about to throw it."
The energy in the ballroom is akin to something at a hockey game or one of Harry's shows and it all seems to be centered where we're standing.
Girls squeal and the crowd gets smaller with their growing anticipation as the bride gets ready to toss her flowers over to us.
I prepare myself, not to catch it but to merely stay standing as everyone around me closes in. Still, I play the part and put my hands up and watch as the red roses fly through the sky directly in our direction, actually, right in my direction.
And just like in the movies, the bouquet is right in my eye line and a sudden surge of excitement rushes through my system until I'm pushed out of the way by one of the bridesmaids and thus out of the way of the landing site entirely.
I'm not disappointed for not catching it but what is truly shocking is that the same bridesmaid who pushed me and caught the bouquet sidesteps me again and walks right up to Harry.
Again my jaw is on the floor and I look at him and then to Glenne who is equally as appalled by this girl's move.
It's not like it's any mystery Harry brought me here as his date and our relationship doesn't have to be the cover story on some gossip magazine to make it official. Harry made it very obvious that we're together and still this chick thought it was okay to hit on him?
Because that's what she's doing, blatantly hitting on him and I'm jealous.
I'm not sure what is said between them but in true Harry fashion, he smiles at her and accepts the flowers, not saying or doing anything to embarrass her before politely excusing himself and coming back to me.
"For you, m'lady," he does a little dip with his head before offering his arm and handing me the flowers.
"What did she say to you?"
"Apparently, I'm irresistible and I simply need to dance with her," he says mocking her voice with a smug look as he pulls out my chair. "I said I appreciated her gumption but I told her I was already taken."
"As you should! That girl was crazy, pushing you away like that," Glenne first says to Harry and then turns to me.
"You got me in the end though, didn't you?" Harry adds as he sits down next to me.
"I think Glenne was talking about the flowers," I whisper. "And you speak as if there was ever a question. You're mine, H, regardless of your little–"
He swoops in, pressing his forehead against mine for a second to stop my statement. "If you keep calling my cock little, I doubt it will ever start working again," he says for only me to hear.
"That's not what I'm saying, I just want to keep things in perspective. We'll figure it out."
"Yeah, yeah, I need to clear my head. I know," he brushes me off standing once again. "Come dance with me."
I hold his hand and follow him to the dance floor, now crowded with other couples gently swaying to the romantic melody.
I take his hand and he holds my waist. His cologne, his body heat, the way he gently guides me around the dancefloor... It's the kind of closeness and care you read about in books.
"Harry, I'm not going to stop until we figure out a solution. You know that right?" His lips tilt in a smile as he spins me around before pulling me back in. "And at the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy, we're in this together."
"I know but let's just leave it a bit, yeah?" I pout and let him kiss me, snogging and swaying to the music for a few moments. "Let him wake up naturally."
"Honestly, I don't think I can wait that long," I chuckle, wrapping my arms around his neck and losing my fingertips in his hair. "Can you?"
I barely finish my question before he's shaking his head. "I'm trying very hard to be patient, love, but I've done some very naughty things to you in my mind which helps."
"That's a good sign then," I say, a little sarcasm coming out because I wish what was going on in his head would materialize.
"It's not because I don't want to, you know that right? I want to desperately it's just..." he jumps in when he sees I'm still uneasy regarding the whole situation. "Well, it's complicated. I'm working through it."
"I know you are," I confirm regarding his therapy. "I just wish there was something more I could do for you."
"Staying right here with me will do the trick, I think," he smiles. "And maybe some private pool time tomorrow? Put that little bikini back on for me?"
"Oh, I don't know," I sigh, continuing to sway along with Harry and to the music, acting defeated when inside my heart is jumping for joy at his request. "I didn't work the last time so why would it now?"
"I'll get on my knees," he suddenly plays desperate and completely adorable. "I'll get down on my knees for you," he suddenly sings, bashful but I can tell he's a little proud of himself for it.
"You did not just sing One Direction to me, Styles."
"You did not just know my 1D reference," he playfully gawks at me, mimicking my expression as I roll my eyes. "And you bet I did, too dorky for you?"
My eyes go wide and I have to roll my lips before leaning up closer to him.
"What?" He gives me a nervous chuckle and the widest smile.
It's a very rare thing when Harry is wary, apprehensive about himself but with everything that's gone on, it's no surprise that he is and I absolutely love that he's comfortable to show that side of him.
"You're not wrong, it's very dorky," I admit at a normal tone before leaning in so our noses touch, "but it's also incredibly sexy in a weird way and you wear that ugly Hawaiian shirt so well and I'm just a bundle of lust and nerves and I wish there was something I could–"
It takes a little longer into my ramble than I would like but he finally stops me with a kiss. And unashamed kiss. One that goes all the way down to my toes. Hands roaming around my back and hips in a way that should only be done in public.
"I'd almost forgotten how much I love your incessant rambles. Didn't quite like you calling my shirt ugly though, it's one of my favorites but I still love you. Because I'll always overlook your questionable opinions on my fashion choices just to be able to kiss you whenever I like."
He's chuckling by the end and I roll my eyes happy that he's finally teasing me again and I pull him in for a kiss just to shut him up.
___
If I thought wedding-Harry was hard to resist, Harry acting like the goofy father he has yet to become is even worse for me.
My loins are raging and that reality is almost as bad as the fact that I just used loins in a sentence. This isn't a renaissance drama after all.
We're dramatic but not over the top, right?
"Wow," Glenne, genuinely gawks at me with a slow drawl, looking at me from behind her sunglasses. "Jeff was right, you actually drool over him."
"What do you mean?" I tear my gaze away from Harry and instinctually lift my hand to my mouth to wipe away what might be there.
My chin is moist.
"You're so in love with him... I don't think I've ever actually drooled over Jeff."
"Really?" Reluctantly I return my attention back to the french toast and fruit on my plate. "Although, that's probably the nicest thing Jeff has ever said about me," I chuckle as I taste the delicious sweetness of maple syrup.
"Granted, it was a rough start. There might have been a night or two when he came home worrying about the new girl Harry is seeing but he really likes you now," she says with a slightly guilty smile. "And he would have liked you back then too, he's just insane about his work and especially worried at the time given what had happened."
Oh ya, I nearly forgot about Carolina.
"But I can understand," she continues. "He and I are both obsessed with our work, I think that's what keeps us together."
"Well he and I both obsessed over Harry, we should have gotten along sooner."
"Some a bit more in love than others," she says under her breath with a sly expression.
"I can't help it," I wipe my chin with a napkin as if drooling in public is ever an appropriate pastime. "He's just looking really good this morning."
"He's wearing a tee-shirt and swim trunks. That's nothing special" she responds with a less than impressed tone. "Come on Mia, get a grip."
"No no, look."
"No way," she sips on her mimosa shaking her head. "He's like the annoying little brother I never had, I'll never see his allure as you do."
I giggle and give her a look before staring back at Harry who is playing a very enthusiastic game of peek-a-boo with a little girl in the middle of the lawn. "Jesus, it's like a magnet for small children. Not in a weird way," I quickly corrected myself making Glenne chuckle. "It's just... I mean look at how precious they are. I just..." I'm at a loss for words and I'm suddenly thinking about the kids we will hopefully have together even though it's way too early for that. "I didn't even realize there were kids here. Shouldn't someone be watching her?"
"Mia, he has like twenty godchildren, if there is a child close by, Harry will find them, or they'll find him." I smile at the idea and the way the little girl that has gotten him up on his feet and is now chasing him around the grass. "I can't wait to see him as a father.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm not telling you anything new, am I? He's gonna want a litter of children at some point, Mia. Do you not want kids?"
Suddenly feeling very overwhelmed, I simply stare at her for a few moments.
Of course, I want kids someday, especially with Harry but I've barely spoken to him about it and now I have Glenne here thinking I don't want any at all.
"Of course, I do. I adore my little brother. Just seeing Harry like that..." I wave in his general direction, lowering my voice so only she can hear. "Seeing him like that makes me want him and I can't have him at the moment."
"I find that hard to believe, you two were groping each other on the dance floor last night. I swear you're the reason for my hangover. I had to keep drinking just to get the image of you two out of my head."
"We weren't that bad," it certainly didn't feel that promiscuous but when I'm with Harry, our world suddenly only consists of the two of us and dancing so close as we were last night, didn't seem that revealing. "But now that you mention it, that's the most action we've had since everything."
"Oh Mia, that's just sad. You two need to sort something out and fast. I think you need to tell him because I'm embarrassed for you, drooling all over yourself as you are."
"I'm not drooling this time," I defend myself. "I can't do this anymore. I'll meet you back at the pool?"
"Mia" Have I said something? I'm sorry if–"
"You haven't," I assure her with a smile. "I just need some time to myself. Let Harry know where I went if he asks but don't ruin his fun, alright?"
"Of course. We'll see you in a bit."
By the time I make it to the path down to the door of our bungalow, I'm full-on jogging.
Yes, jogging, I'm doing a form of exercise, so you know the situation is dire.
Truth is, I had no intention of running or had any plans when I got back to our room. When I left Glenne all I wanted was a little alone time to gather my thoughts and hopefully find some inspiration in terms of a solution for this drought Harry and I are in.
And then an idea hit me like a ton of bricks, a thunderous tingle had eclipsed my tummy and I was suddenly running at full speed down the path to our door.
Call it desperation mixed with the image of Harry playing with the cutest little girl at the gathering and all after a night of dancing so close to him I can still smell the musk on his skin now.
With the utmost confidence that Glenne won't leave the goodbye breakfast until Jeff is ready and he won't' leave until Harry is ready and Harry won't leave while he's playing tag with the most adorable little girl at the gathering.
Yes, I've been replaced with a toddler and I don't even mind because now I have the memory of the pintsized girl chasing a playfully timid 6-foot tall man.
It'll be the same with our kids one day.
Anyway, all this arousal Harry doing just about anything does stirs something within me that I wasn't planning for and now I'm in our bedroom throwing all my clothes around the room in the hunt for something that I hadn't even considered using since I received it.
I didn't want to be selfish, move forward without Harry, but as he said, he's been doing all sorts of naughty things to me in his head and getting some enjoyment out of it, no one can fault me for attempting to give myself an ounce of relief, right?
I mean if Harry can't give me pleasure right now that I should be allowed to give it to myself.
In the past weeks, I haven't even tried to show myself some self-love like this because of the guilt I stirred up within myself. I know for certain that Harry would never begrudge me some solo time but in his current situation, I felt bad moving forward when he was unable to feel the same but you know what, it's time for me to seize the day and give myself that feeling that I've only ever felt from Harry's touch.
I've waited long enough. This is not only to feel good but for my own personal growth.
Jump over this hurdle and conquer this orgasm.
I find my new vibrating toy in the deepest depths of my bag, where I was sure Harry wouldn't stumble upon it and quickly pull it out of the bag.
In my desperate daze, it doesn't seem as intimidating as before.
Confident that I'll be alone here, I strip down to my bra and panties and get comfy in the bed.
I've only attempted pleasuring myself a few times in the past and I've either lost my nerve or Harry burst in. In fact, the only time I've ever given myself an orgasm was with Harry's instruction over video chat.
That was fun.
"Okay, just relax," I give myself a quiet pep talk, trying to calm my needy body as I roll the bullet vibrator in my hand. It's as if every nerve is on high alert, ready and waiting to receive just a morsel of relief.
I take a deep breath, shove my hands under the covers and click the vibrator on.
There's no tentative touching this time or playing over my clothes, I go straight in for the kill.
Every failed attempt with Harry and dancing last night, and watching him this morning has all been the build-up for the moment. While I would love to take this slow and feel every stage of this, it's like my body is already there and my mind is the one that needs to catch up.
Well, now my mind, body, and soul are all on the same page and with the fresh image of Harry in those blue shorts from this morning acting so pure and yet so incredibly sexy, quickly sends my toes curling and my heart about to burst out of my chest.
I don't have to increase the vibrations once during the rather quick experience. All it took was the rhythmic gentle circles vibrating right against that numb of nerves that only Harry has been able to bring to life, to send me over the edge.
And then I do it again.
Call me greedy but after a few minutes of a rest period, I start the process all over again. This time I begin slowly feeling it out before doing that slow build-up Harry likes to tease me with whenever he's in control.
But right now Harry's off with his friends and I'm in control and there is no way I'm going to tease myself and within the next ten minutes, I'm writhing against the bed as my entire body erupts in goosebumps.
And it feels so good, exactly what I've been waiting for all these weeks.
Well, not exactly. It would feel ten times better if Harry was here with me.
The orgasms weren't as strong as the ones I've experienced when it's Harry and me together but they have certainly done the trick. I feel like a complete tub of goo by the time I get my breathing back to normal, I have to take a few extra minutes of staring at the ceiling with a ridiculous and satisfied smile on my face before even thinking that my legs will work properly.
After a few more moments I get out of bed and head into the bathroom first to clean the vibrator so I can put it away and then take a shower to freshen up myself.
I didn't know I could feel like this after doing something so natural but as I brush my hair I feel like I'm who I'm meant to be. Not a new person but like the veil of uncertainty has been lifted as if I have the confidence and the strength to not only get through this with Harry but that we can get through anything.
Goodness, Mia, it was two orgasms, not a magical remedy for all your problems.
Just as Harry asked last night on the dance floor, I put on the bikini that he refused previously, a pair of shorts and one of his Hawaiian tops. It was a surprise to me but he has so many to pick from that I hope he won't mind. Given recent events, he might not even notice.
I spot both Jeff and Glenne in the pool before I even make it outside and I smile, looking forward to spending some time with them.
It's like I'm drunk on this feeling, the confidence and serene feeling might not last forever but for right now I'm going to hold onto it and foster it for as long as I can.
"Hi! You're all here," I say so blissfully and relaxed that I swear I'm floating on air. Monica is my favorite person on the planet right now. "Oh, hey Harry," I give him a little wave before taking a seat at the edge of the pool and grabbing a slice of watermelon from the plate of fruits that are set aside.
"Beautiful weather today," I gleefully exclaim as I dip my legs into the cool water and lean back on my free hand soaking in the sun's warm rays. "How was the rest of the brunch?"
As Glenne and Jeff go on to explain all the things I missed at the farewell brunch, Harry remains sprawled out on the outdoor couch cuddling a pillow and remaining strangely quiet.
He even looks a bit defeated, maybe even a little sad, definitely preoccupied with something and it causes me to question what might have happened between when I left him playing tag with the little girl to right now.
I grab another piece of watermelon and turn to him. "Are you okay, H?"
He gives me a sweet closed-lip smile and nods at me, "yeah, love. Just a bit tired."
"I like your bandana," I compliment him but by extension, myself as it's the orange one I gifted him. He gives me a sly smirk as if he knows what I'm thinking, and giving me a little peek at the normal Harry I know and love.
"Mia," Harry's voice makes me jump and drop my slice of watermelon in my lap, making a complete mess of myself. He lets out a little chuckle before continuing. "I've never seen you eat so much fruit in my entire life. I always get into trouble when I offer it to you."
I reach over and grab a piece of pineapple and another watermelon slice, both exceptionally good, before forming my answer because the truth is I can't accurately tell him the truth. I'm hungry because I worked up a bit of an appetite as I worked myself over alone in my bedroom.
My two orgasms, that's why I'm so hungry and absolutely obsessed with the sweet natural sugary goodness that this assortment of fruits supplies me.
So I decide to sidestep his initial question and fire back my own response. "You don't so much offer as you do try to force it down my throat in the name of health."
"It's nice that I worry about your health, isn't it?"
"I'd worry more about making your girlfriend happy, Styles," Glenne pipes in with a new fruity drink in her hand. I whip my head around and give her a stern look, silently asking her to shut up before either of them starts asking questions although, by the confused look on Harry's face, it won't be too long until he figures it out.
"Don't listen to her, I'm very happy," I lean over in his direction from my perch on the edge of the pool and reach my hand out to him. "I just miss you," I add on quickly, extending my pinky to him.
He hugs his pillow and buries his head into the cushion so only his brown curls and the bandana around his head are visible.
"Harry," my whisper, making his head pop up. "I love you."
He mouths the same words back to me, making my heart skip a beat.
Somethings going on in his head but now's not the time to ask him about it. We're all seemingly enjoying the sun and the food and the pool and I'd rather not be the one to mess that up.
I turn back to the pool and start chatting with Glenne who's wading around in the cool water. "Do you want a slice," I offer her a new slice of watermelon. When she refuses I turn and offer it to my lazy boyfriend who is still hiding out in the shade on this beautiful day.
He nods slowly and reaches out to take it. "Pass me that peach too."
Happy, I turn around, pulling my legs out of the water and sit cross-legged at the pool's edge, biting into the juicy fruit.
Since I have no grace whatsoever, I'm not quick to clean myself up, all these people have seen me drool over the lazy bones sitting on the couch opposite me, so who cares at this point? I'm in my bikini and shorts, we're by the pool, and this is a vacation. It's not like anyone is going to see me like this and the rest of us are friends.
"It's good stuff right?" I finally reach out and grab a napkin, dabbing the juicy from the watery melon that's dripped down my chest and legs. "If all the fruit you give me was this good, I might consider your healthy eating lifestyle."
"Seriously?" His head pops up like a dog spotting a squirrel in the distance. Who knew fruit and healthy living would arouse his being better than anything else.
"Because I can arrange all of it. We'll restock your fridge and we can cook some of these new recipes my nutritionist gave me and we can do this juice detox when we get home together to sort of have a refresh after all our recent travel."
"Okay, hold on, Harry. I'm not going vegan and my coco puffs aren't going anywhere, let's be clear on that," I chuckle although I'm deadly serious about it. "I just said I might consider it. I can make adjustments... maybe."
I watch him as he watches me. We're not just looking at each other, there's something different. He's actively observing me eat blueberries and watermelon and sipping my drink. It's blatantly staring as if Jeff and Glenne aren't here. Not that we have much to hide from those two, Glenne already knows our very intimate situation and Jeff and I have been butting heads from the very beginning so we're entirely past our awkward phase.
Anyway, I'm so distracted by the green in Harry's eyes that I completely miss-calculate or something and when I bite down on the pineapple a stream of juice falls all over me.
"Oh darn it," I chuckle as the juicy drips tickle my skin. "What a mess."
"Do you think you'll ever get any in your mouth, love," he chuckles, leaning back as he takes a large bite from the peach.
"Give me a break, I'm on vacation," I playfully snap back as I remove the Hawaiian button-down off my shoulders. "Let me eat it how I want it."
"Anything you say, love," he says with a deep chuckle.
After grabbing another slice and Harry's sunglasses that he left on the side table, and put them on, I lay back by the side of the pool.
We get back to LA and the real world in just a few days, I want to soak up all this peace and tranquility as I can before we don't have it anymore.
I'm actually a bit surprised I'm so open to being so relaxed right now with everything going but I chalk that all up to my little solo escapade before. After all, I had two orgasms earlier and Harry is back to his smiley goofy self, what's there to stress about?
"Mia," Harry growls through my bliss out of the blue. I'm not sure how long I've been laying here but by the tone of his voice, something's happened and once again I'm not sure what.
"Can I talk to you inside, please?" He says in an abrupt and desperate tone.
I nod and offer him my hand but he doesn't give me a second to respond before he's pulling me up and back to the house.
"Where are we going?"
With every silent hurried step, I grow more worried about what's caused this sudden shift in his mood.
Did I do something?
Did something happen with his work?
Has the media found out something?
Is there a photographer in the bushes?
Reasonably, I know that none of these questions will give me the answer I desire but I have no idea what else could cause such a change in such a short amount of time.
At first, I think he's leading me up to the bedroom until he stops short and takes a sudden turn left and pulls me into the bathroom by the little kitchenette.
The door slams shut, the lock clicks, and he presses my back against it before standing before me all heavy breaths and flushed skin.
"Harry?"
His eyes meet mine and they are wild with something that I cannot name. I can feel this intensity pouring off him but I can't imagine what it is after all these weeks of struggle.
I stare back at him waiting for an answer hoping nothing's wrong.
Just as I'm about to ask again, he swoops down and places his mouth on mine.
What starts out as a deep smoldering kiss quickly breaks with the smile forming on his face. His hands come up to my cheeks as he cards his fingers through my hair, leaving smile shaped kisses around the outline of my mouth and over my cheeks.
"Harry, what's gotten into you?" I nervously chuckle as I hold onto his shoulders, his lips slowly moving down my neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake.
"You're so beautiful," he mumbles into my neck. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to show you."
"That's okay," I say quietly, hardly believing that we're actually in here and he's actually kissing me like this could lead to something else.
Rationally I know it won't but it's a step in the right direction.
"It's not, okay."
"Harry, come on," I try to pull him away so I can look at him but he doesn't let me. "You don't have to do this."
The last thing I want is for him to be doing all this because he's guilty. Of course, I want us to be intimate again but I did just discover the magical joy that can come from a vibrator so I can wait a little longer if need be.
Only until he's ready and that can't possibly be right now... can it?
"I want to." His eyes are sparkling with something bright and naughty, a sight akin to something I'd see all those months ago when being in a situation like this alone with him would have made me blush and itch to get some distance from the vulnerable discomfort.
Right now though, I feel the exact opposite of that.
I look deep into his eyes, "Want to what?"
Instantly, Harry's eyes grow dark and the left corner of his mouth turns up into a very suggestive smirk, as he sinks to his knees.
"H, what are you doing," I whisper as he kisses down my chest, lingering on each spot of contact.
My heart hammers harder and harder against my chest as I feel him suck on my skin as his fingers tips sensually skim down my bare sides.
I don't think there is a patch of my body that isn't covered in goosebumps and it all feels so good that I'm a bit of a loss as to how to respond.
It's been so long and he's been so uninspired that I'm afraid if I make a wrong sound or move I might bring this whole thing to a screeching halt.
I'm giving all the control over to Harry because anything with him is better than nothing.
"Fuck baby," he moans against my skin on the inside of my leg. "I can taste watermelon all the way down here."
"Harry, you're tickling me," I tighten my grip on his shoulders as I feel his curls brush against the inside of my thigh.
I'd expect him to respond with some teasing comment but suddenly his teeth wrap around a chunk of my inner thigh and all forms of laughter are silenced with sheer jolts of electricity shooting up my spine.
I stare down to the top of his head as I feel him suck on the spot, his palms holding me still with a firm grip of the back of my legs.
When he's had his fill he presses his tongue on the same spot before looking up at me. "I think you should eat fruit more often, baby," his voice is smooth like silk, the fire that has been lost these past weeks making a slow-burning appearance in his gaze again.
"Wait," my voice is barely an audible breath as he moves his fingertips around to the front of my shorts, popping the button open and pulling down the zipper. "Are you telling me that you're turned on because I got watermelon all over myself?"
He's not looking up at me but I can see the cheeky smile form on his lips.
"Harry!" I shriek only to take a moment to quiet down, unable to know if Gleen or Jeff can hear us from in here. "Harry," I whisper as he removes my shorts leaving my bikini bottoms in place. "Answer me! The fruit turned you on, didn't it?"
But my question gets caught in my throat as he plants a kiss right on my covered and still very sensitive area.
I did my fingernails into his shoulders as he hides his face between my thighs.
Given it's been weeks and weeks of this sexual drought, apart from my little adventure earlier, and to suddenly be here now with him on his knees as he uses his lips and tongue on me, even through the fabric of my bikini bottoms, I'm already primed to explode.
But that's not Harry's style to let me go so easily.
"I've missed getting lost in you," he moans, fanning his hot breath all over my thighs.
My words get lost in my throat as he gently nips and licks me over my bikini. With every movement, I can feel his insistence increase and so my breathing deepens.
As a result, I instinctually move my fingers into his hair, pulling at the curls to solidify the feeling she's giving me as well as asking for more.
"Harry, that feels... so good," But he hasn't shown me anything yet.
Without any warning he pulls the small strip of fabric to the side, allowing his tongue to lay flat on my bare skin.
I'm hopelessly wet, soaking because of all this build-up, and thus trying not to make a sound although I can hear him moan against me with every movement.
He flicks his tongue over my bundle of nerves that have already seen considerable action today already before he dives his tongue deep inside.
"Fuck," I sigh, my head falling back against the wall behind me, closing my eyes trying to stay as centered as possible as he thoroughly satisfied my soul in the most intimate way.
"What are you doing?" The words fall out of my mouth in a hurried fashion, every ounce of certainty and stability, suddenly rattled when he attempts to hook my leg over his shoulder.
I feel so unsteady and if he keeps working me over like this I might... no, who am I trying to kid here, I will most definitely fall over.
"Harry, I don't think I can," I whisper down to him as I hold onto his hair for dear life.
My body is singing for him, every nerve leaping to life at his command but I don't think I have the strength to stand on one leg as he continues to completely take control of me.
"Don't worry," he takes a moment to look up at me, setting his chin down on my hip, the evidence of how good he's making me feel obvious on my lips "I've got you."
I take a big gulp and bite my lip as he refocuses back on his intended goal.
We're all heavy breathing and clenched fists and muffled moans. I can barely breathe without screaming, every flick of his tongue or squeeze on my thigh is a constant battle between absorbing all the sensation and not letting it all out with a vocal response that would shake the whole house.
"Harry, I..." I can feel myself building so ferociously, I'm not sure who I'm going to come down from all of this. Earlier amplified the current situation but the weeks of longing and sexual frustration have magnified everything.
"Come on, baby," he says directly against my skin. "I can feel it," he eggs me on, reaching the hand that is not holding me upright, up to massage my breast.
The magic of his tongue against my most sensitive spot matched with a few tweaks of my nipple and I'm completely gone.
There is no sense of time or decorum, I don't care if our friends can hear me or even if I'm making a sound. I fall completely over the edge, my entire body ravished and sensitized, if I could turn to liquid I would be oozing down over his shoulders and flooding this entire bathroom.
It was an out-of-body experience so powerful that I don't even have the strength to open my eyes.
We're both panting, completely spent. I can sense Harry stand before me, gently replacing my bikini bottoms back into place as well as helping me back into my shorts. Each one of his movements is so tender and full of love that I can hardly believe something so erotic just happened between us.
But it did and it was well worth the wait.
I'm momentarily distracted by the sound of a commotion outside but it's so distant that I'm easily distracted again when Harry starts peppering kisses along my neck as he travels toward my lips, humming with every point of contact.
"Harry do you hear that?"
He shakes his head as he starts to gently nibble my ear. "Let's move this to the bedroom."
"Excuse me?" I pull my head back and look at him in surprise. "Are you serious?"
He bites his lip and nods. His arms slink around my waist to pull me close, enveloping me in his sunkissed warmth.
"It really was that damn watermelon, wasn't it?"
I don't know how I feel about that.
Unlike before he shakes his head. "Why don't you think it is because of this barely-there top you have on?" He offers, hooking his finger under the strap and pulling it over the curve of my shoulder. "Or maybe how good you looked wearing my shirt?" He looks me over before he leans in and kisses the curve of my ear. "Or just maybe it's what I caught you doing alone in our bedroom."
I gasp, shocked that I've been discovered.
"Only stood by the door for a few moments... but, Mia, it sounded bloody hot, and the images I cooked up in my brain..." he squeezes my hips and tickles my sides.
"Harry, stop," I fist his shirt in my hands, very embarrassed that I was caught. "I'm sorry I didn't wait for you. I just–"
He uses his favorite tactic and silences me with a kiss. I can taste myself and the remnants of the peach he ate earlier on his mouth and it calms my entire body down.
"What are you apologizing for? You certainly don't need to apologize for masturbating especially given I've been out of commission. I should apologize to you because I should have done this a long time ago."
"Harry, I already said I didn't want you to unless you wanted to."
He presses his forehead against mine. "That's one of the many reasons why I love you and your patience and your kindness. But it seems we're past that now," he slows as he presses his hips against mine revealing a slightly awake Harry Jr.
"So I was right. The image of me eating like a pig, getting juice all over myself, sprung your penis from its coma."
He gives me a shrug with a goofy pout as if this isn't an outrageous reason to be aroused but he pulls it off. "It tasted really nice on your skin," he says, licking over the curve of my breath. "I can still taste it."
I giggle, feeling the smile against my skin. "Watermelon, some sugar, and my Mia."
"You're so silly, Harry," I bend over a little to whisper in his ear. When he rears his head back, he looks as content and satisfied as I've seen him in the last weeks.
We've really broken past that initial wall that has been keeping Harry in this terribly sad and heavy place.
Grieving a loved one is one of the hardest things you can ever do in life, unfortunately, it's inevitable and you can't honestly know how you'll react until you're in the middle of it.
Well, now I think we've moved a step passed his biggest hurdle.
"Come on, love," he says between leaving tender kisses over my blushed cheeks. "I don't want the fun to end just yet."
I'm nodding and grabbing his hand in both of mine as he leads us out of the bathroom and into the main area of the beachside bungalow.
Upon an initial visual sweep of the space, I don't see Jeff or Glenne and the prospect of Harry and I being able to remain in our perfect little bubble seems to be a reasonable prospect for us.
If only the universe was so kind.
Suddenly the commotion I heard from before erupts into something ten times clearer than before and far more intense.
"Look, lady, this is a private residence, you can't just barge in here," Jeff bellows from somewhere further inside the bungalow.
"Jeff, just call security," Glenne says, showing an authoritative side of her that I haven't seen before.
All the meanwhile, Harry is still leading us toward our bedroom as if nothing is going on.
He's got a one-track mind and a semi-erection that he's trying to hold onto for dear life, of course, he's not paying attention.
I'm beginning to think we shouldn't have left the bathroom.
For a moment I worry that Harry and I should stop and see what's up but I quickly realize if anyone can handle any situation is Jeff and Glenne, they've got it covered.
I can't let whatever is happening ruin this progress Harry and I have made.
Can't let Harry Jr. disappear again before we can take some advantage.
"Mia! Mia Jennings, I know you're in here, honey."
I stop in my tracks, stunned by the voice I just heard and all thoughts of fruit or Harry's surprise erection are lost.
Once again, Harry doesn't seem to notice as he keeps walking, pulling on my arm until he's tugged to a stop.
"Love?"
Suddenly, I see a team of large men all dressed in black suits with dark shades walking into the belly of the house, scanning the area as Jeff continues to argue with our visitor.
"Seriously, you can't just–"
"Oh honey, you don't know how wrong you are."
I chuckle at the term of endearment, that doesn't fit Jeff at all, and can perfectly imagine her patting him on the shoulder and brushing past him as if she owns the place.
It's just how she is and I'm glued to my spot waiting for her grand reveal.
I haven't seen her in years and the fact that she's tracked me down all of a sudden is so surprising I feel as if I might faint.
But then again, is it really that surprising after what you put out there. She did say she'd be watching.
Harry must catch on to the commotion because he's suddenly looking toward the entryway worried. I think he thinks I am too but I'm anything but. I'm surprised, stunned, nauseous, but now afraid, not of her but his reaction.
"Mia, what's going on?"
His questions pull me out of my momentary gaze and I take his arm. "Uh, you know how I said I didn't have any family left?"
"Yes?"
"Well I don't have any blood relatives left but still, that wasn't actually true."
"What?" He snaps his voice so deep it rattles my core.
But before I have time to explain, she makes her grand entrance, hair wild as fire and shades as dark as always.
"Mia Jennings!" Her clear southern drawl echoes through the crisp white walls and floral arrangements in the house. "My honey pie, I've been looking for you everywhere."
And just like that, my past crashes into my future.
___
A/N: So it's been a minute but I hope we're all still here and we're all being safe and taking the proper precautions (as much as we are able, of course).
Yes, a new character has entered the scene, she's a minor character but I hope you enjoy her. Anyone have any guesses... with the zero clues, I gave you. Lol, sorry, you'll know all about her and then Hia is going on tour, I promise.
Has anyone seen the new photos from his Beauty Paper spread? HOLY CRAP!! Talking about falling onto your knees... Is there something this man can't do or wear? I'm floored.
"Yes Daddy, I will," this is literally my answer to SOOOO many things but come on. If there is a photo that deserves that response, it's this one!
I'd say I'm jealous of his legs (which I am) but I have no excuse because I never go to the gym or work out... and who cares when I have this drop-dead gorgeous man to look at constantly. Oh and a BIG thank you to Harry Lambert, would we have this without him? Who knows.
"wE doN't WEaR MAkeUp," of how things change. Never change Harry, an that goes to every one of you also! The world needs all of you for exactly who you are.
All the Harry adoration aside, everyone please stay safe, wash your hands, try to self isolate as much as you can. The world is going through a tough spot right now but we'll all get through it and if any of you need anything, feel free to reach out.
You're all wonderful and I'm sure Harry thinks so too.
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All the love, C.