Trigger warning ⚠️ self harm
Sams POV
I hated this.
I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to get fatter then I already was.
Master had told me all about how Colby really feels. That he hates the sound of my voice. That he thinks I'm fat. That he thinks I'm an ugly abomination.
And I knew he was right.
So I started to self punish every time I did something stupid. I would use anything from my nails to my own teeth. I didn't care. I just wanted Colby to be happy.
And I would change so he would be.
I no longer let my wolf talk to me. I locked him in a cage in the back of my mind. I didn't want him to get control and do something stupid.
I was terrified that if he did, Colby would send me back.
I wonder how happy he was when I was gone? Master said he was thrilled, I'm sure he was.
I took another very small bite out of this 'pizza'. I had to admit, it was really good. I wanted more. Though I didn't ask.
'Colby doesn't like the sound of your voice.' I reminded myself.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder, breaking me out of my thoughts. It was Colby. He was looking at me sadly. He dropped his gaze to my arm where I saw that I was digging my nails into my skin again. I hadn't even realized I was doing that.
"Stop it Sammy." He said in a soft yet demanding tone. I stopped, though I was confused. I deserved this pain.
"Can I please see it?" He asked again. I really don't know why he wanted to see them.
I thought about it for a second. What if he gets mad and sends me back. No. He wouldn't right? I was doing this to make Colby happy.
Eventually, I nodded, handing over my arm. He carefully rolled up the sleeve, revealing all my marks. I could tell he was holding something back as he traced each one with his finger, all the way up to my elbow.
"Other one." He said, his voice cracking a little. I gave my other arm to him. Same thing.
"This needs to stop. You can't hurt yourself like this." He whispered as he pulled down my sleeves. I pinned my ears and looked away. How else was I supposed to make Colby happy?
I felt a gentle hand come under my chin and lift it up. My eyes were still trained on the floor.
'Colby doesn't like it when you look at him.' I thought to myself.
"We're gunna talk about this later." He sighed, relief rushed through me as he let go of my chin.
I went back to nibbling the pizza, hopping he would forget about talking to me later.