What a week.
With Christmas break fast approaching, Jax, Hannah, Blake, and I had been completely bogged down by papers and studying for finals.
It was only Thursday night, and I was already exhausted, crawling into bed for the night around 9:30. Luckily, my classes didn't start until 10:30 on Thursdays, so I could kind of sleep in.
I was prepared to have a full night of sleep, given how tired I had been, until I awoke to the horrible, horrible sound of thunder around 1:00 AM.
At first, I wasn't sure what I was hearing that had woken me up, but when I saw the flash of lightning, I knew what was coming. The patter of rain drops hitting the dorm windows was nothing compared to the thunderous boom that erupted throughout the sky.
I trembled in my bed, images of the initial crash flashing in my mind. I hated thunder. HATED it. I wanted to hide away under my covers, but felt almost too paralyzed by fear to do so.
I had been lucky up to this point. Though there had been a few storms since the incident, not many had contained thunder this loud, and most of the storms had been during the daytime when I was busy with class, not at night when it was all I could focus on.
As I had mentioned to Jax before, my fear of thunder had always been bad after the accident that took the lives of my mom and sister, but this was a whole new level. I wasn't prepared for how much my current situation and added anxiety heightened my fear; It had been storming the night I witnessed the crime as well.
"Hannah, are you awake?" I whispered. I didn't want to wake her up, but I needed comfort. Back in my old dorm, during my old life, Mel would sit up with me whenever there was a storm. We would watch movies or something as a distraction.
I sat up in bed only to see that Hannah wasn't even home. She often went out with her coworkers on Thursday nights, so it wasn't uncommon for her to just stay with one of them afterwords.
However, knowing that I was alone in the room only increased my fear, and before I knew it, my feet were moving. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was completely terrified, and I needed Jax.
I eased myself out of bed, silently making my way across the hall until I was face to face with Jaxon's door. I hesitated a moment. Did I really want to wake him for this? I had already admitted to him that I was afraid of thunder storms, but now as I stood here in front of his door, it seemed almost childish.
I stayed still, shaking in the hallway as another thunder sounded and the lights flickered. A tear escaped my eyes, and I wiped it away before sucking up my pride and knocking on the door. He would understand. He had already proven that he would never judge me for something like this.
Only a moment passed before Jaxon's shirtless body appeared in the doorway, keeping one hand on the doorknob while he used the other to rub his eyes.
I flinched as I heard another rumble of thunder, distracting me from his perfectly sculpted abs. I would have spent more time appreciating them if not for the gripping terror throughout my body.
"Sky? Are you okay?" He asked. Blake must be home.
I shook my head as another tear escaped my eyes, "This is embarrassing, but I'm seriously freaking out right now, and I need you. Can I please just... I don't know, lay with you until the storm ends?"
Jax immediately kicked the door open, and I could see the realization on his face as he remembered my fear of thunder storms. He was quick to place an arm over my shoulders ushering me inside. "Of course, whatever you need."
I was instantly relieved that Jax was being so cool about the situation. I mean, obviously we had already crossed the line into unprofessional territory, but we hadn't been spending the night in each others dorm room beds yet. I wasn't sure if this was a boundary he wanted to keep from crossing.
Jax had his bed only half lofted—which if you asked me was kind of dumb. It wasn't high enough to fit a desk under it, but it wasn't low enough to easily flop onto it either; I mean, maybe it was for him, being that he was so tall, but it certainly wasn't ideal for me. I was about to push myself up when Jax suddenly scooped me up in his arms.
Another huge thunder cracked the sky and I tightened my grip around Jaxon's neck, enjoying the feel of his warm skin pressed against me and the flex of his muscles as he supported my weight. He held me for a moment before leaning over to place me gently onto the mattress. I cowered into the sheets while I waited for Jax to get situated beside me.
"Come here," he said, pulling me back into his chest while tucking the blankets around us. "Fuck, you're shaking so bad."
"I know," I admitted, "I'm just... terrified of thunder storms. The fear is so much worse now since... well you know, my current situation and the storm that night."
I couldn't go into specifics because Blake was in the room. He was asleep, but we couldn't be too careful. Besides, Jax knew all of this already anyway.
He hugged me tighter and stroked my hair. "Shhhh... I know. It's okay... I'm here. Try and calm down, it's only thunder."
I nodded into his chest as I trembled, and another tear escaped, soaking into his warm skin. My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt like I could barely breathe. God, I felt like such a wimp.
"I hate seeing you so scared; what can I do?" Jax asked as he brushed a tear away with his thumb.
"You're already doing it," I admitted. Really, just having him here holding me was helping me feel safe, but the fear was still there, and it wasn't going to go away until the thunder ended.
Thankfully, after a while, it did. I couldn't hear any more thunder or even rain, and I was finally able to calm down.
"Finally, I was getting worried with all of your shaking," Jax commented when I had finally calmed. He had been so still that I honestly thought he was sleeping.
"I'm sorry," I offered, "I really should see a therapist about this some day when all this is over. Do you want me to go back to my room now?"
Jaxon yawned. "Nah, you're already here and it's really late."
"Okay, thank you," I replied, settling into his chest again.
"You can stay," Jax repeated, "but can you move over a little? I'm so fucking hot right now."
I chuckled at him, "Really?"
"Yeah, seriously, it's like a million degrees in here. Move it over now that you're not scared anymore."
I rolled my eyes but complied. As much as I wanted to snuggle up with him all night, I respected his honesty. Besides, he was nice enough to hold me close until I stopped shaking despite feeling so hot.
Plus, even without him holding me, I was able to fall asleep again just knowing he was next to me.
Still, this was not the restful night I hoped it would be. I woke up again in his bed, shaking with cold. Jax must have cranked the air up when I fell asleep and kept the air on max cool. I inched my way closer to Jax's sleeping body, pressing my body to his warm skin.
"What the!?" He said, flipping over to face me.
"What?" I questioned, surprised by his reaction.
"Fuck your hands are freezing," he whispered.
"I'm freezing. Can I come closer to you again?"
"Yes," he sighed, pulling me close so that I could snuggle him again. "Damn, you're high maintenance."
"Am not," I argued.
"Needy."
"Stop it, I am not," I smiled, snuggling into his chest like the "needy" girlfriend he told me I was.
"Can I ask you something?" He whispered, bringing his hand up to stroke my hair.
"Of course," I replied.
"Why were you embarrassed to come to me earlier? Have I ever made you feel like you couldn't come to me with stuff like this?"
"No... of course not. I just feel like being scared of thunder is such an irrational fear, and I didn't want to be seen so weak and terrified over it. Especially by you."
"I would never think of you that way. Sure, being scared of thunder may be an irrational fear for some, but for you, it's not. It's not like most people go through life terrified of being stuck in elevators but yet, here I am. Do you want to talk more about what happened?"
"I guess whenever I hear thunder, I'm brought back to the crash... and now the other accident. No matter how many storms I've been through since then, it just doesn't seem to get better."
"I'm so sorry for everything you've been through, and I'm here for you now."
"Exactly... For now," I whispered.
"What do you mean?" He questioned, pulling back a little so that he could look at me.
"You know what I mean," I said, "And we can't talk about this here. Can you just hold me? We can talk more when we wake up. Promise."
"Okay," he sighed, tightening his grip on me again. "Are you warm enough?"
"Yes," I said, burying myself in his chest again. "Are you cool enough?"
"For now."
********
When I woke up again, I was alone in Jaxon's bed. A quick glance around the room revealed Blake was no longer here, but neither was Jaxon.
I shivered and pulled the covers up, cocooning myself and curling into a ball. I thought about leaving, but the guys kept it so god damn cold in here that I didn't want to leave the covers just yet.
Though, I did want to get a coffee before class since I didn't sleep that well last night, so I probably had to leave soon.
Just then, I heard a key in the door. I rolled myself over in my cocoon to see who it was. I liked Blake, but I was hoping it was Jax.
He was asking me questions last night that I really wanted to give him the answer to, but couldn't with Blake in the room.
When the door swung open, my heart skipped a beat seeing how handsome Jax looked this morning. His hair was messy, and he was wearing dark wash jeans and a maroon v-neck t-shirt that clung tightly to his muscles.
Or, perhaps it was the smile on his face and the fresh coffee and doughnuts in his hands.
"Good morning, Emery," he smiled as he set the coffee and doughnuts on the tiny coffee table. "Look at you all bundled up."
"Good morning! I wouldn't have to be bundled up if you guys didn't keep it below 0 in here," I said sarcastically.
"Oh, no need to be dramatic," Jax teased, "I got you a latte."
"Yum! Thank you!" I said as I basically leapt off the bed with excitement. I LOVED coffee, and I needed it today.
However, at this moment, I realized that tightly wrapping myself in the blankets may not have been the best idea. As I attempted to get off of the bed, my feet got tangled in the blankets, and I was sent falling sideways off of the bed.
I let out an awkward, startled yelp when I realized I was airborne, and prepared myself for a hard fall onto this uncarpeted, disgusting, dorm room floor.
I was so preoccupied by my thoughts that I didn't even hear Jax shuffling in the room, and was very surprised when my body was fully supported in his arms, just inches above the ground. My legs remained on top of the bed, still tangled in his sheets.
I was speechless as I looked into Jaxon's glacier eyes. He let out a small grunt as he lifted my body back up onto the bed.
"Holy shit," I finally breathed, "thank you."
Jax chuckled and shook his head while he untangled the blankets from my feet. "You're welcome, Ems. Constantly gotta be on my toes around you I swear. I don't know how you even survived the last 10 minutes without me."
I shrugged, "I was asleep."
"True."
"Speaking of, I'm surprised you even left me alone this morning at all. Doesn't that completely go against all your instincts as my bodyguard?" I teased.
Jax scoffed as he stood up off the bed. "Oh please. You literally ditch me all the time."
I watched him make his way to his closet, finding a large navy blue sweatshirt as he continued speaking, "Besides, Blake was here for most of the time I was gone. He texted me when he left."
"I don't try to ditch you," I said, ignoring the last part.
He made is way over to me, handing me the sweatshirt. "You do. And you're high maintenance."
I smiled at him, pulling the sweatshirt over my head. "I just wanna make sure you're earning your money."
"Yeah yeah," he grumbled. "You should probably go get ready. We have our final in an hour, and then we need to talk about what you said last night."