"So what did you mean when you said, 'for now,'" Jaxon pressed as we returned from class.
I really didn't feel like explaining at the moment. The English exam we just took was exhausting. Not only was my hand cramping from writing into tiny little blue books, but my head was pounding. Thankfully, it was our last exam... and it was Friday.
I lead us into my empty dorm room, tossing my backpack to the side and settling heavily onto the futon. Luckily, we were clear to have this discussion- Hannah wasn't ever home on Fridays until later, but still, I was dreading it.
"Come sit down with me," I said, rubbing at my temples, "then we can talk."
"Fine," Jax said, staring at me. "Are you feeling okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah- just a headache. I think it was from writing. I don't like having to look down for that long; it hurts my neck and gives me headaches."
He nodded, putting his bag down and picking up the bottle of ibuprofen on my desk. "Here," he said, pulling the cap off and pouring some into my hands. I took the pills from him, waiting until he handed me my water bottle as well before taking them.
"Thank you," I sighed, closing my eyes as I leaned back against the futon.
"Come here- let me massage it for you," he offered.
"Really?" I asked, opening up an eye to look at him.
"Sure," he said, sitting on the futon. "Sit between my legs."
I wiggled my eyebrows at him in a suggestive manner as I slowly slid off of the futon, settling on the ground between his two large thighs.
"You didn't need to be so damn awkward about it," he chuckled, placing his large hands on either shoulder.
I couldn't help but laugh also despite the pounding in my head. I felt Jaxon's strong fingers begin working the muscles in my shoulders, his thumbs creating a rhythmic kneading motion as they worked their way up and down the center of my neck.
I let out an involuntary sigh as I eased into him. This felt so good. I couldn't remember the last time anyone gave me a massage— let alone anyone with hands as strong and powerful as Jax's.
"Is this helping?" He asked.
"Yeah. Thank you," I replied, my voice soft and relaxed.
"Can you tell me what you meant now?" He pressed, continuing to kneed with his thumbs down my neck and across my shoulder blades.
"You really don't know what I meant?" I questioned. "You and I are together now; we weren't supposed to be, but we crossed the line into unprofessional territory, and now I'm not sure what to do when all of this is over."
"Hmm...," he said, "well, first of all, we don't know when all of this will be over..."
"I know we don't, but eventually, it will be over one way or another- maybe sooner, maybe later, but at some point, your assignment as my bodyguard is going to be over. What happens then?"
"I... I don't know," he sighed.
Ouch. This wasn't what I wanted to hear from him. I pulled away from his magical massage so that I could now sit on the couch beside him. "Okay... I'd be lying if I said that answer doesn't disappoint me."
"I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but I really can't give you an answer right now. I've never caught feelings for a client before, and I don't know how to handle it or what happens when I'm not your bodyguard anymore," he said, running a palm through his dark hair in a flustered gesture.
I knew he couldn't give me the answer I wanted right now, so no matter how disappointing it was to hear, I decided to let him off the hook. "It's okay. I understand."
He looked at me for a moment before reaching out, pulling me to him so that I was laying against his warm chest. "I will do whatever it takes to stay in your life when this is all done. That I can at least promise you."
He leaned down, placing a kiss on the top of my head as I settled in. "Thank you," I said, "that's good enough for now."
"Is your head any better?" He asked, brushing a warm thumb across my temple.
"Not really. Shall we finish our Twilathon?" I asked.
"Hell yes."
********
"Do you know how to ice skate?" Hannah asked, smoothing a palm over her long hair.
I shook my head, "I've never tried it."
"What!?" She said, turning her body to face me. "We should go today. The rink has pretty good prices on Saturdays. You should invite Mason and Blake, too... if you want..."
"Oh should I?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She questioned.
Over the past few weeks, I had noticed the growing flirtation between Hannah and Blake, and this seemed like the right time to call her out on it. "Do you maybe have a crush on Blake?"
Her face tinged red, a look that was very uncharacteristic for her. "I don't know... I guess I've just liked spending time with him lately, okay? I'm not really in any position to date someone new after everything that happened with Drayden."
I nodded in understanding. "Okay, I'll ask them. But for what it's worth, I think you and Blake would actually be very cute together. And, I don't think you should ever hold yourself back from what would make you happy."
"Thanks," she said, flopping down onto her bed. "Please just invite them! It'll be fun, I promise.
I chuckled, shooting off a text to Jax. I was eager to try this out anyway; it looked fun. And besides, I would give anything to see Jax fall on his ass. The guy had strength, there was no doubt about it, but I couldn't imagine his large, hulking frame resemble anything close to elegance on the ice.
I supposed I would just need to wait and see.
*******
"You need to lace them tighter, Sky, or your ankles will wobble," Blake told me as I just finished my last knot.
I cocked an eyebrow at him; they felt tight enough to me, but then again, what did I know about skating?
"I'll help you," Jax said, walking over and kneeling down in front of me so that he had access to my skates.
He hadn't put his on yet because the workers had a hard time finding a pair large enough to fit him.
I thanked him, taking a moment to survey the ice rink while Jax retied my skates. It was a surprisingly nice space, and the large rink of ice looked smooth and shiny under the overhead lights.
Despite it being indoors, there was a cool breeze coming from somewhere. I pulled my grey beanie hat further over my ears, smoothing my thick braid that hung loosely over my right shoulder.
"You should be good now," Jax said, pulling me from my thoughts.
He offered me his hands, holding tight as he pulled me up off of the bench. My ankles tried to wobble, but were secured by the tight fit of the skate. I was grateful Jax redid them for me, or I was certain I would have fallen flat on my face.
"You good?" Jax asked, guiding me to the outer wall of the rink where I would wait for everyone else before stepping onto the ice.
I nodded, releasing his hands to grab the wall.
"They found me a pair, so I'll be right back," Jax said, excusing himself to go put his skates on.
I looked around, noting that it wasn't too busy, but we were far from being alone too. It made me feel a little uneasy being this exposed away from campus, if I was being totally honest.
Still, I was excited to be here, and I tried to push these uneasy thoughts aside. This was such a normal thing that normal people did. I wanted to be as carefree as the couple who were holding hands and skating circles around the rink; I wanted to be smiling ear to ear like the mom who watched her children skate around each other; and I wanted to feel as safe as the little boy who was being held from behind as his dad skated along with him.
"Ready?" Hannah asked, materializing beside me.
I nodded, "Absolutely! It looks fun."
She was first to step onto the ice, pushing away from the wall with ease. It didn't look too hard; she didn't look unstable at all.
Blake was next, shooting me a smile as he followed Hannah out. Blake was tall, and he looked a little bit wobbly, but he otherwise remained upright as he kicked off to join Hannah. Seemed like everyone could skate just fine.
I didn't want to wait for Jax as I eased myself onto the ice. However, I should have tested the feel of it a little bit more before letting go of the wall, because the second I kicked off, my knees wobbled, my toe-pic dug into the ice, and I was sent sprawling onto my stomach with a thud. That sure didn't take long.
"Are you okay?!" Hannah called from a little ways away, a huge smile on her face as she began skating back to me.
I waved her off. "I'm fine! Just getting used to it!"
Blake and Hannah snickered at me as I rolled over, pushing myself onto my knees before attempting to stand up. Unfortunately, my skates slipped out from under me again, and I fell backwards onto my ass.
"Need a hand?" Jax asked, gliding up to me with a surprising amount of grace.
"Yes," I admitted, reaching out my hands to him. I was sure there was some sort of technique to getting up once you've fallen down, but I sure as hell didn't know it.
He reached down, grabbing my arms and all but lifting me onto my feet. My knees locked and I stood completely still as I regained my balance. I stole a glance at Jax's handsome face, which looked as though it was trying to hide a smile while his eyes shined with amusement.
"Come on," he said, giving me a little tug.
I tightened my grip on his hands, "Don't! I'm scared to move."
"Here," he chuckled, moving his arms so that his hands were gripping at my elbows, and my arms rested on top of his. "I won't let you fall again- just start shuffling your feet."
I nodded, not even moving as I let Jax do the work of pulling me. He barely even needed to lift his feet as he moved backwards, leading us in a circle around the rink. I was squeezing his arms so tight I was almost nervous he would bruise.
"Why are you good at this?" I asked, hanging tight to his corded forearms while he guiding me along. I finally started to work up the nerve to lift my feet a little the longer we moved.
"I'm good at everything," he smirked.
I shook my head, regretting it as I wobbled, only to be steadied by his strong hold on me. "Yes, but you're large and bulky! You're not supposed to have the grace and talent of a figure skater."
He chuckled, cocking an eyebrow at me. "You're forgetting about hockey players, which I happened to be all throughout high school and some of college."
"Of course you did," I huffed. I was supposed to be laughing at him today, not the other way around. This was surprisingly hard to catch on to.
"How's it going guys?" Blake asked, falling into stride beside Jax and I.
"It's great," I said, my voice thick with sarcasm. "look how fast I am!"
Blake chuckled. "You're doing good, Sky. You'll get the hang of it, it just takes some warming up."
"Where's Hannah?" I asked, moving my own feet a little more now.
"Over there," he said, pointing to where Hannah was spinning in rapid circles towards the middle of the rink.
"Well damn," I said, "she didn't tell me she was so good. Kind of hot, isn't it Blake?"
"Hm?" He said, his eyes still watching Hannah.
"That's definitely a yes," Jax chuckled, low enough for only me to hear.
Blake skated off to join Hannah, and I let Jax pull me for a little while longer until I got up the nerve to move on my own. Well, sort of anyway. We shifted so that I was skating against the wall, while Jax supported me on my left side, holding my hand in his.
It was going well. I really felt like I was starting to get the hang of it, and I was even starting to keep up with Hannah and Blake whenever they decided to join us.
After a little longer, I let go of Jax, skating independently beside him. "Look!" I said, "I got it!"
"You're truly amazing," Jax praised, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
I was about to respond when one of the children I had been watching before began skating towards us, faster than I was comfortable with. I locked eyes with him as he picked up speed, barreling right at me. My eyes widened. What was he doing?
The little shit skated right up to me, coming to an abrupt stop that sprayed ice dust up at me before making a sharp turn in the opposite direction. I was so startled that my stride faltered, and I fell backwards, knocking into Jax who was able to grip me around my waist to steady me.
He moved us forward, never breaking his stride as he supported my weight by my underarms. I kicked around, my skates struggling to find the ice beneath me while he slowed his pace. I could see the kid laughing hysterically as he skated back to his friends.
Jax slowed down enough for me to regain my footing, keeping his hold on me until I was completely upright. We both came to a stop against the far wall of the rink. I grabbed hold for balance.
"You alright?" he asked.
"Oh my god," I complained, "What a little turd! Did you see that!?"
"Of course I saw it," he smirked, "I'm the one who caught you."
"Stupid kid. I was finally getting the hang of it, too." The mysterious breeze whipped around my face and I shuttered.
"Cold?" Jax asked.
I nodded. It was very cold, and my feet were starting to feel sore, yet numb at the toes. "Yeah. I think I'm done skating for today."
"Okay," he said, "let's go get some hot chocolate."
I smiled, releasing the wall to grip tightly to his muscular arm. "Okay; pull me back!"