Almost 5 hours had passed since Jaxon and I left the station, and I already felt like it had been an eon. I shifted in my seat, crossing my legs and hugging my arms tight to my chest for comfort and warmth.
"You okay?" Jaxon asked, turning the radio down a few notches. This was the first thing he said to me since we left; I must not have moved much until now. Although his question was nice, it seemed he was trying to keep me at a distance; like he asked more for common curtesy rather than legitimate concern.
But to answer his question, no. I was in no way okay. My arm was throbbing from the gun shot, I had whiplash starting to kick in from the car flipping, and I was freezing from the inside out. But, the absolute worst part, was knowing that everything was about to change, and knowing that my poor father was left behind, on his own, to sell my death to everyone. So no... not okay, Jaxon.
"Emery?" He asked again while still remaining focused on the road. This time though, I did catch a little hint of genuine concern in his voice mixed in with the usual sharp command.
I wiped the waterfall of tears still streaming from my eyes and decided to tell him the one thing he could fix. "I'm freezing. Can we turn on the heat, please?" That was the best he was going to get out of me for now; I was too emotionally drained.
His mouth pressed into a hard line as if he was unsatisfied with my answer, but he didn't push me to say any more. He just clicked on the heat to full blast and turned the radio up.
A couple more hours passed without another word exchanged between the two of us. I wanted to rest my eyes or take a nap, but I couldn't shut my mind off enough to do so. I finally decided to steal a glance at the clock.
12:25 AM.
What a long night. It didn't feel real. The more hours that passed, the further I was going away from my dad; my only family. I let another tear fall but wiped it away subtly with my palm, faking that I was just tired.
"There's a motel up ahead in about a mile," Jaxon said without looking my way, "We're expected at the orientation center at 7 AM. We can stop and get some rest for a couple hours here and get on the road again at 3:30."
"Is it... is it safe to stop? What if they know I'm alive and someone's following us?" This question came from the fear I felt when I realized I had been followed out of the grocery store parking lot. "I mean... could that ha-happen?" My throat felt tight and raw from my sobbing. I had cried all my tears and was left feeling scared and empty. I could literally hear the fear and sadness in my own voice, and hoped Jaxon didn't notice. He didn't exactly seem to have the most comforting persona.
His hands gripped the wheel tighter. "Emery, it's my job to keep you safe and that's what I will do. Nobody is following us; I promise."
He sounded so sure, but he also sounded a little annoyed? I wasn't trying to offend him or question his ability to keep me safe, but maybe that's how he took it? I had no other choice but to trust this man, and I hoped my initial impression of him was wrong.
I had no doubt that he was good at his job, but since I'd be spending time with him for god knows how long, I hoped we could get along on some degree without me always feeling so uncomfortable around him; I didn't even want to ask him any questions for fear of annoying him further.
"Okk-kay," I said as a large shudder tore through my body.
"Besides, it's like 100 degrees in here, and you're still shaking. I think stopping for a minute so you can take a hot shower and try and calm down is a good idea."
"Yyy-yeah maybe. I'm sss-sorry; if you're too hot you can turn it down. I'm sure it-it's just the nerves," I now felt a little bad that I had been oblivious to the 100 degree state of the car, yet was oddly flattered he put his discomfort aside for me.
"It's fine. We're almost there anyway. Speaking of, just so you're aware, we will be sharing a room tonight. The first night can be the most dangerous without your new identity, and I can't protect you if I'm too far away."
Normally, I'd be much more freaked out to be spending the night with such an attractive and intimidating man, but my poor, emotional brain latched onto one word and one word only: dangerous.
My eyes went wide as I stared at him. "You think tonight's going to be dangerous?!" I squeaked out.
Jaxon quickly looked at me, his expression shifting to a look I didn't recognize before answering. "No, Emery... I'm sorry. I just meant, we can't be too careful tonight."
"Oh... right. That's fine," I said, not that he had asked; he more so informed me. I'm not sure how most people acted in this kind of situation, but I was pretty sure I wasn't handling it well.
Soon after, Jax pulled into a motel a little ways off the highway. There weren't many cars in the parking lot, and the entire place looked sort of vacant. Not all letters on their sign were lit up, and gusts of wind were blowing up dust from the dirt parking lot. The entire scene of this motel looked eerie and quiet, and honestly, it gave me the spooks. Jaxon, on the other hand, looked completely unfazed by its disheveled appearance.
"Okay. I'm going to go get the room key," he said while unclipping his seat belt. "Stay here where it's warm, and I'll be right back."
I knew it wouldn't take him long, but the thought of being left alone in this car, in a creepy motel parking lot, and feeling as emotionally exhausted as I did, horrified me; I couldn't sit here alone. He opened the door and stepped out.
"Wait, Jaxon!" I said in a voice I didn't quite recognize as my own. "Can I... can I please come with you?"
He blinked at me and cleared his throat before speaking. "Um... no. You're really not supposed to. You shouldn't be seen by any civilians between now and your new identity; Besides, it's safe here. We weren't being followed, the truck will be locked, and there aren't any customers around."
My heart pounded. It made sense, but I didn't like it. "Oh... okay. Please be fast then?" I said trying, and failing, to not sound as needy as I felt.
He gave me a sharp nod and closed the door. The silence was instant and it was consuming. I placed my head in my hands and watched Jaxon start towards the motel. Flashes of the crime played in my brain, and I let out a silent sob. The further away he got from me, the more uneasy I felt. At this rate, I felt I'd have a full on panic attack by the time he would return.
Just then, Jaxon stopped in his tracks, ran a hand through his hair, and started back towards the truck. It was almost like he had heard my cry, although I knew that was impossible. I quickly wiped my tears away just as he opened my door.
"Okay, you can come. But stay by me and try not to say much," he said; his tone sharp and commanding.
"Thank you," I half whispered while he backed up to give me room to hop out. I slid to the edge of the seat and jumped down, but my knees buckled and almost gave out when I landed. All the adrenaline and shaking had left me feeling weaker than I thought, and being in a car for several hours didn't help. I nearly collapsed when Jaxon seized me around the waist, holding me up. I reflexively reached out, latching on to his muscular forearms as he caught me.
"Woah, hey... you okay?" He asked, his ice blue eyes piercing mine. He had a faint sheen of sweat covering his forehead from the hot temperature in the car, and I could feel the muscles in his biceps work to place me back on my feet. His tone betrayed his hard exterior, and concern shined through for the first time since we met.
I shook my head to snap out of it. "Yeah... I'm sorry. My knees kind of just gave out," I blushed a little as I spoke. I was embarrassed that I fell. "Thank you," I offered.
He nodded and slowly released his grip, making sure I was stable first. "Sure. Are you ready?" He asked, his tone returning to normal.
I nodded and followed close to him as we walked into the motel entrance.
My heart was pounding. I found myself trying to be impossibly closer to Jaxon as we walked, longing to touch him for a sense of security. I hated feeling so vulnerable and weak, but Jaxon did have a way of making me feel safe; even though he wasn't Mr. Sunshine. With a big, muscular frame and chiseled features, a person would need to be crazy to try and fuck with him.
"Stay by me and act normal," he commanded while opening the door. We were instantly hit with a cool breeze from the air conditioning being sucked outside. I nodded in response, my whole body shuddering once again as it adjusted to the new temperature.
He frowned at me before shrugging out of his black leather jacket. "Here. Put this on."
I quickly accepted it and tried to thank him, but he was already turned away from me and walking towards the front desk. I quickly put on the jacket and hugged it tight to my body as I followed him, a waft of cologne hitting my nose.
The receptionist was pretty and not who I expected to see in a place like this. She had been slumped over the desk reading some kind of magazine and nodding off when she finally noticed us. The minute she saw Jaxon, she instantly perked up as if she'd had 8 cups of coffee that day.
"Well hi there. What can I do for you today?" The pretty brunette asked, her voice thick with a southern accent.
"Hello. I was hoping to get a room," he said, shooting her a smile.
I couldn't help but notice her cheeks tinge pink as she spoke again. "Of course. One bed or two?" She asked, casting her eyes briefly on me before fixating back on Jaxon.
"Two please. Just for a night. My sister and I are visiting our family tomorrow so we will be out early to hit the road."
She seemed satisfied with this new piece of information. I silently questioned his reference to me being his sister, but my frazzled mind didn't care enough to try and figure it out. I wondered too if maybe we'd be playing brother and sister as a cover?
I noticed the brunette tug the hem of her navy blue v-neck shirt down subtly to reveal more of her breasts before leaning forward to type something into the computer.
I wanted to roll my eyes and I was almost shocked at myself for feeling kind of annoyed among all of the other shit I was dealing with. This brunette, nay, Jaxon's attention, should be the least of my worries.
Finally, after she assigned us a room and Jaxon paid for it in cash, we were ready to leave. The woman flashed him a huge grin and slipped a piece of paper into his hand before waving us off for the evening.
Jaxon shot another award winning smile in her direction, telling her to "have a good night." I watched as her cheeks turned cherry red. Poor girl.
As promised, I didn't say a word. I also shot a thankful forced smile at the girl (not that she'd even notice) and followed Jaxon back out the door.
"Okay, here's the key. I'm going to grab our bags," he said, handing over the plastic card.
I turned it over in my hands, feeling unsettled about spending the night with this man, and yet still terrified to my core about tonight's events.
"What room is it?" I asked. My voice sounded scratchy and dry.
"207. Come on, I think it's this way."
I let Jaxon lead us to the room. Part of me wanted to offer to take my own bag, but I decided against it. He was strong and able bodied, and at the moment, my body felt like it had gone through the wringer; which it kind of had.
After going up a flight of stairs and through a sketchy outdoor hallway, we finally arrived at our room.
Jaxon stood back as I used my shakey hand to insert our key card. The sleeve of Jaxon's leather jacket was so long on my arm that I had to shove it up to access the lock.
The room was very average. It had one large window leading to the hallway, two double beds, a small bathroom, a mini fridge, and an armchair in the corner. It also smelled slightly of cigarette smoke, even though I saw a clear "no smoking" sign in the lobby.
I made my way to the bed closest to the window and sat down, hugging Jaxon's jacket tighter to my body in the too heavily air-conditioned room. Jaxon strode past me, hoisting my suitcase onto the other bed closest to the bathroom and rolling his to the bed I was sitting on. I cocked an eyebrow at him.
"I need to have this bed. On the off-chance something were to happen, it's best if I'm closest to the window and door," he explained my unasked question in a flat voice.
I usually liked to have the bed by the window, but it made a lot of sense; and honestly, I was just too tired to care. I slowly stood up off the bed, making my way over to the other one.
"Why don't you take a hot shower? Warm up a little bit," Jaxon insisted while lifting his suitcase onto his bed.
I nodded in response. That sounded like a good idea, so I made my way to the bathroom and closed the door behind me.
I immediately cranked on the shower, turning the water as hot as I could handle without it being painful. I then turned to the mirror, noting how puffy and red my face was, and also noticing how completely crushed I looked. I could see the pain and defeat in my own eyes; and this sent me into a fresh wave of tears.
I turned away from the mirror and shrugged out of Jaxon's jacket, being careful not to jostle my shoulder. I took the time to fold it nicely and place it on the counter top while the bathroom filled with steam. Then I carefully undressed myself and eased into the onslaught of scalding water.
It felt good on my muscles, despite not being able to get one of my arms wet, and the mini eucalyptus shampoo and conditioner that I used was actually kind of soothing. I let my tears mix with the fresh water from the shower as I focused on washing up, trying to occupy my mind.
I wasn't sure how long I was in the shower for. It felt like only a few minutes, but it must have been a while because I was running out of hot water, making me cold all over again.
I didn't know what to think or what to expect tomorrow; everything from this night forward was a great big ball of unknown. The only thing I did know, however, was that it was about to be one of the longest nights of my life.
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Hi!
Soooo what do we think of Jaxon?
Fun fact, I actually wrote most of this chapter before writing some of the first ones... I know, strange. I just get excited to get going on the plot of my books that I lose interest in writing the beginning chapters lol
Hope you're still enjoying! Sorry this chapter got a bit long.
-Haley