Last night was definitely a dream because it felt like a dream. I was in complete shock when I heard her tell me that she actually wanted to give us a try after I graduate.
Graduation.
That's another two months away. I don't know if I can last that long because damn it, I want that woman more than anything right now, and if she thinks that I will last that long, she's crazy.
Besides the sleepless night, and constantly thinking about Miss Chou, there's always another problem amongst me; prom.
It was only two days away and everyone was acting like complete idiots.
I never went to prom, and most likely never will. Everyone is stupid crazy over that damn thing and I don't understand what the fuss is about.
I don't like it because it's a waste of my time, plus, there's nobody at this school that I would like to take to prom. Except for one person, and one person only.
Tzuyu Chou.
But unfortunately, I can't take her and it sucks. I wish there wasn't anything wrong with taking your teacher to the prom and dancing with them, but I just proved my point because that sounded horrible.
As Hanbin and I were standing at my locker, stupid cheerleaders are running around handing out something about getting a discount hair cut for prom. I try to ignore them, but I can't. They're like mosquitoes.
Oh, and they just came out of hibernation. I haven't seen them for a few months.
As soon as they all run down the hall and around the corner, I look over at Hanbin, "They give me a headache,"
He chuckles and nods, "Yeah, well it's their job to pump everyone up for prom,"
I rolled my eyes, "Oh yeah, nothing says 'I'm excited' like twenty percent discount haircuts," he laughs as I stand there and watch him. "No, seriously, I don't get what the big deal is,"
After he stopped, he looked at me, "Some students take prom seriously because it's their chance in the spotlight to be better than anyone else, and to go with that one special person," he smiles at me and I just roll my eyes.
I told him last night what Miss Chou told me, and he nearly bursted my eardrum when he screamed. His mom came running in asking what was wrong and I couldn't stop laughing for a few minutes.
He kept me up half the night talking about how this was a dream come true for me and he was happy for me, and he couldn't wait for graduation.
I think he's more happier than I am.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy that she finally wants to be with me, but after everything that we went through and the pain she put me through, I can't have my heart out in the open and think that everything is going to be ok, because I don't have the best of luck and this could blow up in our faces.
Hanbin snapped me out of my daze, "It sucks that you couldn't take her though," he made a pouty face and I rolled my eyes.
"I don't even want to go because it's stupid," which was the truth.
"You should go. It's your senior year and you wouldn't have to go anymore," he had a point, but I'm not caving.
I shook my head, "No thanks. I don't want to remember my senior year when I finally went to prom and it turned to shit," I watched as he slouched his shoulders, "Plus, there's nobody for me to take," there wasn't exactly many lesbians in this school, and they're pretty much taken.
"You can go with me," he smiled at me as I stared at him. "Oh come on! I'm your best friend and who's the one person that can make your prom night magical," he did the jazz hands and I wanted to punch him.
"That's nice and all, but I'm going to decline your offer," I smiled as he pouted his lip.
"Fine, I guess you won't get to see Miss Chou," whoa. Hold on. He smiled as he got my full attention, "I heard Miss Chou was chaperoning this year," he wiggled his eyebrows and I stared at him.
"Where did you hear that from?" if this was a trick to get me to go, I swear I will punch him so hard.
"I heard it from one of the cheerleaders. They were discussing everything that was going to happen at the prom, and they also said which teachers were going to be there," I can't believe it. Miss Chou was going to be there.
I stared at him for a moment then sighed, "Fine, I'll go," he jumped up and down like a little kid and it was embarrassing me.
I hope this is worth it.
*
Miss Chou was absent the last two days, which was odd. Like I said before, she never misses work unless it's an emergency. I haven't been able to think about anything else the last two days, except for her. I just hope she's ok.
Hanbin decided to take today off since it's prom night. He said that we needed to go get my hair done, and find a dress. I tried arguing with him and tell him that I can just wear pants but he didn't agree.
He took me to the mall and there's so many other places I'd rather be. I haven't exactly went to the mall in years, but now I'm glad I didn't, because even though it's a school day, there is so many people here with their children.
It was like a zoo.
We went into different stores trying on different dresses and of course, I didn't like any of them so we went to some more, and again, nothing. I hope Hanbin is picking up the hints because I'm laying them right out in front of him.
"What about this one?" he held up a dress for me to see and I made a few facial expressions.
"Yeah, looks good," he smiled at me as I smiled back, "Go try it on and let me know," I chuckled as he rolled his eyes.
"It's not funny, Sana. We've been in almost every store and you haven't found a dress yet," he put the dress back up then looked at me.
"I told you that I don't like dresses," I crossed my arms as I watched him. He knew that I didn't like dresses, but he insists on buying me one. I never heard anything about that I had to wear a dress.
"Can you wear one just this one time, please?" he pouted his lip and tried giving me the puppy dog eyes. I didn't want to fall for it, but damn it, I couldn't help it.
I groaned, "Fine,"
He squealed then shoved a dress in my face and pushed me into the dressing room. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. I hated everything about this.
But for hanbin, what the hell.
*
It was late in the afternoon. Only three more hours until prom and I was at Hanbin's house getting my hair done. I thought Hanbin was going to take me to a stylist, but he said that he knew a better one than anybody else, and when I asked him who, he never told me but just took me to his house.
Apparently, his mom is a great stylist, although she never worked as one, but he said that she is the absolute best, so I won't argue with him. Everyone's mom is best at anything! Right?
She took me up to a room and told me to sit down in front of the mirror that was attached to a desk. I sat down and watched as she excused herself and walked out of the room.
This gave me time to look around the room. I noticed that it was bigger than Hanbin's, and it had a bigger bed. It also had two dressers side by side near the door. I'm guessing this is Mr. and Mrs. Kim's room.
It was a nice room, and it was clean too. A lot cleaner than Hanbin's because his was always a mess every time I would go in there. It seemed as though he never cleaned his room.
A few minutes passed and Mrs. Kim was back in the room with a few things in her hand. It looked as though they were hair products and I was already regretting this decision.
She told me what she would be doing and what stuff she would put in my hair first. I sort of understood half of it, but the other shit I was unfamiliar with. But, since she's the expert, I'm going to let her do what she's got to do.
She straightened my hair first, then used a curling iron and curled it, then sprayed something in it and I had to shut my eyes because that shit was going everywhere.
After a minute or two, she told me to open my eyes and I looked in the mirror and saw a completely different girl staring back at me. It was like I was looking through another mirror at another girl, because this didn't even look like me at all.
She was messing with my hair as her eyes found mine through the mirror and she smiled, "How do you like it?" I couldn't say anything but stare. I was speechless.
After a few seconds of looking like an idiot with my mouth wide open, I managed to find some words, "I love it!" I squealed out and that earned a laugh from her.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that. You look beautiful," she smiled at me as I smiled back.
"Thank you," she did such an amazing job, it was unbelievable.
She squeezed my shoulders as she looked through the mirror at me, "You're very welcome, dear,"
I hate getting emotional, and I could feel myself starting to tear up. I knew that spending time with her would bring out the water works because it makes me miss my mom more than anything. Being around her is great, and I love it, but sometimes it's hard when all I can think about is my mom and how I can never do stuff like this with her.
I felt a squeeze on my shoulder and I looked up through the mirror to see Mrs. Bridges staring at me, "You ok, dear?" I could see the concern in her eyes but all I could do was nod.
She must have sensed what was wrong because she came around and bent down to hug me. It felt weird having her hug me, but I relaxed a little and hugged her back. I didn't want to get emotional in front of her, and that's what I always feared when I'm around her or Mr. Kim.
She leaned back and looked at me, "It's ok, Sana. It's going to be ok. I'm here if you ever need me, and I don't care what problem you're having, I will try my best to help you through it," she smiled at me as she placed a strand of hair behind my ears.
Looking at her made me realize that even though I don't have my mom anymore, I could always come to her because she's like a mom to me because of how close Hanbin and I are.
"I want you to go out tonight and have the time of your life. This is your night, and I don't want anything bringing you down," she smiled at me as she leaned towards me and placed a kiss on my forehead.
I watched as she stood up and walked out of the room leaving me in my thoughts.
Let tonight begin.
*
The gym was packed and loud. I always knew I hated these things for some reason, and now I know the best reason I can come up with; it was loud and stupid.
There were tables lined up on the wall with drinks and food, and there was also some tables that were for people who wanted to sit down, or better yet, who didn't have a date but hoped for the best.
Hanbin and I made our way inside and through the crowds of people. It was like a nightmare come true because I hate people, and I hate dancing. Now I'm surrounded by dancing people.
We went to the drink table first and Hanbin asked if I wanted anything. I told him no because we just got here and I wasn't really thirsty yet. He didn't seem to think twice when he filled his cup with drink and drank it in one swallow.
I let my eyes wander away from him and around the gym. There sure was a lot of people here, and half of them I don't even know. Nevermind, scratch that, almost everyone I didn't know. I don't talk to people so I don't know them.
I felt Hanbin nudge my arm and I looked at him as he was motioning with his head in a direction. I followed the direction and met eyes with a blonde hair beauty across the gym, leaning against the wall.
Miss Chou.
She was watching everyone and I was completely mesmerized by her. She had on a white strapless dress with a scarf around her neck, and she looked absolutely stunning.
Hanbin got my attention and smiled at me, "You should go tell her how nice she looks," I looked back at her then back at Hanbin. That wasn't a terrible idea, but it wasn't the best.
"I would but someone would see," I could only imagine what everyone would think if I walked up to her and if someone heard me tell her that she looked nice would be even more bad.
He chuckled, "What would they say? Everyone walks up to teachers at these things anyways, so why would it matter?" he gave me a stupid look and I wanted to punch him in the face.
I haven't seen her in two days after what she told me. It seemed as though she was avoiding me and I'm afraid that she'd take back what she said.
That'll be my luck.
As I got up the courage to actually walk over to her, I heard the DJ practically scream, "Alright everyone! Time to get this party started! We'll start off with a slow song first to shake things up," after he was finished, a song started playing and I noticed everyone was going to the dance floor.
I'm not sure if Hanbin wants to dance with me to a slow song, but I was completely wrong as he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor.
He spun me around before putting his hands on my waist. I laid my arms over his shoulders and we quickly found ourselves swaying to the music. I wasn't much of dancer, but I guess if you let the music take over, you kind of get lost in it and your body does all the work.
I stole a few glances from time to time at Miss Chou but she wasn't looking. I tried to keep my eyes away from her but I couldn't help it when I kept glancing her way.
"Go talk to her after the song is over," I heard Hanbin whisper in my ear. I looked at him as he was smiling and I couldn't help but think about what would happen if I did go talk to her.
It seemed as though she wanted nothing to do with me even after what she told me a few days ago. It hurt because I made myself believe everything she was telling me and now that she's avoiding me, it shatters my heart.
I laid my head on Hanbin's shoulder and got lost in the music. I wanted this night to end already because I can already feel myself breaking down. It wasn't fair. Nothing in my life is fair anymore.
Why do I have such a shitty life? I don't know.
After the music stopped, everyone applauded the DJ and made their way off the dance floor. I walked with Hanbin to a table and we sat down. I watched everyone have the time of their lives as I was sitting here feeling depressed.
Hanbin leaned over to me, "Now is your chance to go talk to Miss Chou," he watched me as I looked around the gym and caught sight of her.
She was still leaning against the wall watching everyone. She had her arms crossed and I couldn't help but admire her dress. It ended above her knees and it hugged her hips in every right place. I was lost in staring at her that I didn't know she was looking at me.
My eyes traveled up her body, and when I met her eyes, I immediately felt my face burn. We stared at each other for a few moments until her lips curved into a smile.
Everything in me started catching on fire and I could hardly breathe. Hanbin rubbed my arm as he stared at me, "Are you ok?" I nodded as I looked at him. He was smiling and started chuckling, "Miss Chou sure has an effect on you, huh?"
I glared at him and he chuckled then looked over at her. I watched between the both of them as Hanbin was watching her but Miss Chou was watching everyone else again. He looked over at me and smiled as he got up and started walking towards her.
I sat there and watched as he stood in front of her and they talked for a moment. I caught sight of her looking over here at me for a brief moment then looking back at him. I didn't know what was going on but I wish I could hear what they were saying.
After a few minutes, Hanbin walked back over and sat down and proceeded to act like nothing happened. I stared at him for a moment, trying to get his attention to find out what the hell just happened, but he never looked at me.
The dance went on for an hour or so an everyone was getting tired and some people were already leaving. Hanbin asked if I was ready to leave and I couldn't have said yes fast enough.
As I was standing up, I looked over at Miss Chou but she wasn't there anywhere. I looked around the gym but didn't see her anywhere. I started wondering where she was, because I wanted to go talk to her before I left..
Hanbin swung his arm around my waist as we were walking out and to the parking lot. I couldn't keep my mind off of Miss Chou as Hanbin helped me in the car.
After he got in, he handed me something. I grabbed it and noticed that it was a blindfold. I looked at him and gave him a confused look, "What is this for?" I looked it over as he was talking.
"It's for you. I need you to put that on because we're going somewhere and I don't want you peeking," he glanced at me as he was backing up and I was so damn confused.
I didn't argue though, because I trusted him enough, I put it on and sat there with my heart beating fast and my mind spinning.
*
"Are we there yet?"
We have been driving forever, and I was getting tired of sitting here with a damn blindfold on where I couldn't see anything.
Plus, my ass was falling asleep.
"We're almost there, patience,"
I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see it. I didn't know what he had planned, but it better be something good. I was tired of sitting in this damn car.
We hit a bump and I squealed out. I heard Hanbin laugh and I swung my arm and hit his. "Ouch!" I smiled as I sat there and crossed my arms. "That hurt, and I'm driving!"
"Tell me where we're going or I'm taking this thing off!" I pointed at the blindfold as I turned my head towards him. At least, I hope I was looking at him.
He didn't say anything and I was getting beyond irritated with this. We drove a little longer until we finally came to a stop and I was beyond happy now.
"We're here!" no shit, Hanbin.
"About time," I was about to remove the blindfold but he started yelling,
"No! Not yet!"
I groaned in frustration and heard him get out. I heard my door open and he told me to grab him hand. I did what he said and I got out of the car and immediately felt a cool breeze.
I heard the door shut and he grabbed my hand as he lead me to wherever. I was a little scared, but knowing Hanbin, I trusted him. He never showed me that I couldn't trust him.
We stopped and I was standing there waiting for him to tell me something. After a moment, he finally spoke, "Ok, you may take it off now,"
About fucking time.
I pulled the blindfold off and what I saw in front of me, nearly made me faint.
Miss Chou was standing in front of me, looking beautiful as ever, with a smile on her face. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked at me and I was immediately mesmerized.
The headlights from Hanbin's car gave this place a creepy, but cool look. It looked amazing and I was speechless.
I looked over at Hanbin as he was smiling at me, "How did you do this?"
He shrugged, "I have my ways," he looked at Miss Chou than back at me, "I figured that since you two couldn't dance together at the prom, I would make your own little prom here," he smiled as he motioned around him.
I was speechless, because I couldn't believe he actually did this.
I smiled as I rushed to him and hugged him, "Thank you," I was trying to hold in my tears as he hugged me back.
We pulled back and he motioned towards Miss Chou. She was looking at me and I could feel my heart skip a beat in my chest as I was staring at her.
Hanbin walked away, but I didn't pay no attention to him as this woman in front of me was the only thing I had my attention on.
I stood inches in front of her and I could feel my body get goosebumps all over from having her so close. I looked up at her as she was smiling at me and I could feel butterflies in my stomach.
After a second, I heard music start playing and I looked back and saw Hanbin wave at us from his car. I rolled my eyes at him and his stupid self. I turned my attention back to Miss Chou.
I extended my hand out and looked at her, "May I have this dance?" I saw her smile then grab my hand. I pulled her close to me until our bodies were touching.
Having her body touch mine made it burn up in flames. My breathing started becoming irregular and I was trying to calm myself down.
She wrapped her arms around my lower back and I slowly wrapped my arms around her neck. We swayed to the music and I stared at her the whole time.
After a moment of silence, she spoke, "Hanbin is something else,"
I smiled at her as I nodded, "Yeah, he's great," I couldn't thank him enough for doing this. He was seriously the best.
"You look beautiful," I felt goosebumps run across my body. I looked up at her as she was smiling at me and I couldn't help but smile.
"You look beautifuller," the fuck? I hid my face against her shoulder and heard her laugh. That was embarrassing. I can't think right around her.
I kept my head on her shoulder as we kept dancing. I could hear her heart beating and it was soothing. This was the greatest moment of my life right now and I didn't want it to ever end.
Having Miss Chou here with me, dancing, had my heart fluttering and my mind going crazy. I couldn't believe this was happening. It was like a dream come true.
As the music ended, we were both standing there in silence. I didn't care if another song played or not, because I could stand here with her in the silence forever.
I leaned my head up and looked at her. She was staring at me and I stared back at her. She looked absolutely beautiful and I couldn't help but fall harder than I already have.
She cupped half my face and it felt like my whole body froze. I felt my eyes traveling down to her lips and couldn't figure out if it was my imagination or not as I thought she was leaning closer to me.
She was leaning closer.
It felt like the world was slowing down and I could feel my heart pulse harder and faster as the gap between us was closing. It didn't take long until our lips finally touched and I felt something that I never felt before.
I have never gotten lost in a kiss before and the space between us just explodes with so much passion. My heart keeps missing beats and my hands cannot bring her close enough to me. I taste her and I start to realize that I have been starving. I never loved before, and I never knew that it could ever feel like this.
I have kissed before but it didn't burn me alive like this was. How soft her skin was when it brushed against mine, and even if I didn't know until now,
I have been waiting for her my entire life.