harry knew i was in love with him.
he could tell in the way my eyes lit up with warmth and light the moment they found his face. he felt it in every touch my fingertips made with his skin as they never failed to be gentle and soft with him, almost as i i feared he would disappear should i dare pressing too hard. harry thought the depths of my feelings were cery clear ti hear in my voice, since whenever i spoke to him there was nothing but pure adoration in my tone. harry knew. and it made him feel happier than he had believed a man was capable of feeling.
"I can't tell you what it is, man" he confessed to his friend john one night, "I just know, you know?" john took a sip from his drink and watched with an amused expression how his friend's cheeks flushed at the thought of his best friend fancying him. it was strange, he found, how a man who was admired and loved so widely by different people, got all flustered and pink when thinking about just one girl who he so desperately hoped would love him.
"And you love her as well?' john wanted to know, a smirk pulling at his mouth since he was quite cetain he already knew the answer to his question. harry looked up, teeth pulling and biting at his bottom lip while his hair was sticking into all kinds of directions. he looked almost like a child, deeply stuck in thoughts it didn't understand. he nodded shyly. "I think i do."
the words were quiet and the moment they left his lips harry's orbs fell back to his hands and the pink shae in his cheeks deepened. he reminded john much of a school boy, cheeky and unsure in the world of lovers. "Mate" john chuckled, "You can't claim to know for sure how someone else is feeling and be so uncertain about your own emotions."
harry shrugged ans swallowed hard. "I just think... i mean it's not that simple, is it? especially with y/n since she's just the best person ever. if i'm right and she does love me then that means so much more than if someone else did." "You value her a lot." "Course i do." john grinned. "Are we having this conversation 'cause you wat me to confirm that youe get them for her?"
"I need you to tell me that to do" harry murmured. his hands, heavily decorated with rings and tattoos, shook with the anxiety of being so open and honest about a secret he'd held close to his heart for so long. john shrugged. "I think you should just ask her if your assumption is correct. be upfront about it and don't mess around. she's the kind of person who appreciated honestly and you two are so tight together i doubt it'd be awkward even if you were wrong."
"But you don't think i could be wrong, right?" "No, harry, don't worry about that. i'm sure y/n's into you too." and so all harry needed to do was pull out his phone, take a deep breath and click the tiny phone symbol next to my name. of course i didn't let him wait for too long and instead answered to his call almost emmediately.
"Hello, harry! how are you?"
john's eyebrows arched. when he called me i never sounded even half as excited as i did upon recieving harry's. he didn't take any offense though and only felt happier for his friend.
"I'm good, love" harry hummed, "And you?"
"I'm great. better now that you're calling me, actually. what's up?"
harry cleared his throat. john nudged his leg with his foot and mouthed the words 'spit it out'.
"Listen, i- well i got something i want to talk to you about. preferably not over the phone. it's nothing bad though, love, don't you worry about it."
"Okay" i paused, unsure of what i should think. his words did litte to easy the excitement his words caused in my belly.
"Can you meet me at my place in say 30 minutes?"
"Sure" i agreed, "Of course. you're alright, aren't you?"
"I'm fine, promise" harry chuckled, his heart nearly bursting at the care in my voice.
"Great. i'll see you in a bit then."
"See you, love."
the moment he set his phone back down john clapped his hands. "I'm a matchmaker!" "Hardly" harry rolled his eyes but his wide grin had both dimples show their presence in his cheeks, "Fuck i'm nervous. i really shouldn't be i mean... she's my best friend. i know her really well and feel so good when i'm with her... shouldn't be all scared to see her in a moment."
"I think it's the fact that you're so close with her that's making you so nervous, mate. but it's also why i think her reply doesn't really matter that much. nothing could separate the two of you anyway so... whatever she says, it'll be alright." harry nodded, his cheeks puffing as air left his mouth in a huff. "Fuck."
john left shorly after, leaving harry a mess of nerves and worries. he couldn't breathe. all confidence his mind had held only moments ago, all certainty that i was in love with him... well harry wasn't sure if he'd imagined half of the signs he'd believed in.
when i stepped into his apartment i could feel how something was different than usual. there was no music, that was the first clue. normally harry had either rock classics blasting through his home or the the cheesiest pop music he cold have found. i swore to him once that i would turn right back around without giving him a proper helllo should i ever open his door and find 'i swear' by all-4-one playing again.
but now that his home was silent i wisjed he'd play something stupid, anything that would indicate he wasn't as worried and desperate as his voice had sounded when he called.
i wondered what could be wrong with him and only hoped it really was nothing bad like he claimed.
"Harry?"i called as i shrugged off my jacket and slipped off my shoes, "Where are you?"
with socked feet i went to search for my best friend only to discover him sitting at his kitchen counter, eyes fixated on his phone, seemingly unaware that i'd stepped into his flat.
gently i knocked against the doorframe before walking up to him and wrapping his body into my embrace, taking advantage of his sitting position as it allowed me to be taller than him for once.my chest pressed to his back while my arms slung around his neck and when i nuzzled my face into his shoulder i could hear him chuckle breathlessly.
"Hey" he hummed. his hands reached up and took my wrists in a gently hold and squeezed them. "You alright? did you get here good?" "Yes to both" i murmured before kissing his temple temple softly.
i pulled away my arms from him and moved to hop onto the kitchen counter so my legs were dangling next to where he was sitting.
when he looked up to me my heart dropped to the very bottom of my stomach and i emediately reached out ti touch his hair and scratch his head.
"Hey"i asked quietly, "What's the matter?" his eyes were big, his lip bitten raw and his cheeks pale. i spent a lot of time with him and had been part of many important moments in his life but never before had he looked this much like a mess of nerves. and not knowing what the matter with him was worried me greatly. his head leaned into my palm.
"Y/n?" he asked timidly, "We're quite... you and me are pretty close, right?" "I'd say so, yes" i chuckled nervously, shrinking under the intensity if his eyes, "You're the only one i feel comfortable enough with that i just march into his home without knocking first."
he smiled. "It's pretty deep bond than, huh?" i nodded with a soft smile. "Definitely." "She" harry began, Ï can talk to you about pretty much anything, can't i? ask whatever i want?" he moved is chair and slowly to his feet. i leaned back and watched him step closer, close enough so his thighs brushed my knees where i remained sitting on the cold stone counter.
"You're my favorite person, harry" i breathed, my hand reaching out to rub his arm, "Of course you can."
but he couldn't. he tried, he really did, but whenever his head formed the words he wanted to speak his throat closed ujp on him and left staring at the gilr before him as if he were frozen in time. his mouth was slightly parten and his breathing made his chest move irregularly.
john was a dick, harry thought, why had he made all of this seem so easy? and why did he think nothing would change no matter my answer? everything was on the line here! than again... he couldn't just be my friend anymore. "Y/n." his hands grasped my hips and pulled me to him so i was sitting on the edge of the counter. i shuddered when he nudged my knees apart, encouraging me to let him stand between them and with that came even closer to me.
my heart leaped and i shakily moved to rest both hands on his shoulders, similar to how i'd done only minutes but for some reason this felt much more... intimate. he had my thighs holding his hips to my body and when he leaned in even closer his breath fanned over my face. his nose nudged mine, making me whimper quietly and he smiled, smiled at how happy he felt in that moment. all of a sudden he was sure again. there was no way i would let him be this close if i didn't love him back. and of course he wasn wrong. my heart beat rapidly for him and in that moment it was hard to hide. i didn't really want t hide it any longer either. i loved the guy. what was wrong with that?
that's why i think it was me who closed the last bith of distance between us by pressing a kiss to hiws pretty mouth, simply unable to ignore the intense electricity that pulled me to him. bbut it was him who deepened what was an innocent and small gesture. he went for it. when he kissed me his tongue licked into my mouth hungrily and it surprised me that he didn't even try to disguise his desperation for... me. his friend. his lips were warm and so soft they weakened my knees and i was glad we hadn't started this standing up but witih have collapsed right there. i embraced him tighter and kissed back eagerly, my hands clutched his neck and jaw while his moved up and down my sides, almost as if he couldn't quite comprehend that i was really there. i whimpered and he responded by pushing my hair off my shoulder and move his head so he could kiss down the skin of my neck, finally giving me a chance to breathe.
"Hey" i whispered, "Harry, slow down." my eyes fell shut at the tickling sensation of his lips kissing and nipping on my sensative skin. But this was harry so of course so my quiet words has him press one final kiss to my shoulder before pulling back. His gaze found mine and my stomach fluttered. "You okay?" he asked in a quietand hoarse voice. Shakily i touched my fingers to his red and swollen lips and i giggled at how adorably tousled he looked. "What are you laughing at my for?" harry chuckled, his eyes wide and full of humor.
"You look adorable" i admitted openly, "And i'm more than okay." "Oh, really" his hand found mine, "Well i think you look beautiful." I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating. The most beautiful person i knew thought i was beautiful, too? Harry hummed. "And while i'm glad you're okay, whu'd you want me to stop?" his head came closer againand i surpressed a moan when he pressed another warm kiss to the skin just below my left ear. I shrugged him off and forced him back with soft push to his shoulders, "Because i want to know what's going on with you. why are you... why did we just kiss?"
"You're not happy with my?" harry looked at me with knotted brows and worried eyes. "Of course i am" i reassured him quickly, "I'm just very surprised. You're my best friend." Harry graoned and this time when he leaned in to bury his face in my neck i let him. "Want to be more." His arms circled my waist and he moaned lowly when my legs wrapped around him and pulled him closer. "More than my friend?" i aksed, scared of his reply. Though there was nobody i would want to have this kind of secrets with, there was nobody then harry i would ever feel comfortable enough with that i'd let him touch me this was, let him talk to me like this. I felt him nod and i bit back a giggle when his hair tickled my skin.
"I do, too" i admitted, then with a deep breath i decided to just tell him: "I love you, harry." His laugh fell against my trhoat and i gently wrapped his neck and shoulders into my embrace again. I needed him to be physically close, because never before had i felt more intimate with him then i did now. Harry's cheek pressed to the side of my neck before he pulled back slowly and with a short kiss to the corner of my mouth he murmured: "I really love you, y/n. More than a best friend should."
"Far more" i agreed. We smiled at each other. How lucky were we? We'd found each other without even needing to search. His nose brushed mine in a playful gesture. "I knew" he confessed with a confident smirk, "Knew you loved me. I fucking knew all along." I kicked the back of his thigh with my foot, at least i tried, without removing my legs from around his waist, making him laugh and respond by tickling my hips. "Liar. You were shitting yourself only moments ago."
"I was" harry admitted easily, "But it was worth it. You're... my girlfriend now, aren't you?" he hesitated. How could harry be so unsure even now that he knew i loved him? How could he for a moment think that i wouldn't want to be with him? I nodded and then took hold of his jaw to encourage him closer and connect our lips, hoping he would know through this kiss, just like he claimed to have known of my feelings for him, that he made me feel like i was the luckiest person to walk this world.