Hanbin's mom and dad was one of those parents that never seemed to quite grow up, which means that they still live in those years where they first fell in love. They have this young style to them, but not the embarrassing kind that most parents have. They're the kind who never grows out of their love for each other.
It felt amazing to be surrounded by an actual family who listens to each other and doesn't fight or yell.
They're calm and collective, which I admire. They're free-spirited and warm hearted, which I also adore. They're just fun to be around, and I've only known them for maybe an hour.
The restaurant wasn't completely packed, and they already made a reservation, which was pretty cool. They're not stupid rich, but they have plenty of money for things like this.
Hanbin told me about the wealth they have, and it shocked me. I never knew that they were loaded with money, but he says that he doesn't really like everyone knowing because he's afraid everyone would only want to be his friend because of it.
I would never do that to him, because money doesn't really interest me.
When my parents were still together, I was young but I still remember how we lived. My parents both worked at the same business and they brought home enough money to live on. We lived in a nice house, with nice cars and I always got what I wanted and so did Yoona.
We were a happy family.
But no matter what my parents did, Yoona was never really happy. She hung out with the wrong people, did the wrong things and just made bad choices. She was never satisfied with what my parents offered her, but I was.
Now you see who grew up to enjoy the little things, and who took everything for granted?
We sat down at a table and I was in complete shock with how amazing this place is. It was like a five star restaurant, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was. It was absolutely stunning in every way.
We ordered our drinks and food, and that gave us time to talk. I was a little nervous about talking with them, not because they make me nervous, but because this is our first time meeting, and I know that they are wanting to ask questions that I'm not sure if I can lie to them about.
They talked about Hanbin's grades and where he's going to go to college at when we graduates. It was funny to see him all shy and red-faced, because I never see him like this.
"So,Sanny, what are your plans for the future?" Mrs. Anne sat her drink down and watched me for a moment. I noticed that Hanbin got his green eyes from his mom, and his facial features from his dad.
"Actually, I haven't really thought about it a lot," which was true. I only think about it when it's in my head. Usually when Yoona is irritating me, cause that's when I think about where I want to go and how soon I want to leave.
"What are your interests?" she folded her arms across the table and stared at me. I'm glad she cares about my future, because nobody really does.
"I like art, and drawing," I watched as she nods and smiles. I was sure she would disapprove, because some adults don't like the idea of going to college to draw. But Hanbin's parents aren't like other adults.
Mr. Anne interrupted, "I think that's a great idea. Matt has told us about how an amazing artist you are, since you both share art together, it'll be good to have another artist around here," I smiled as he complimented me and I loved how Matt talked about me to his parents.
"What do you mean, another artist?" Hanbin questioned as I looked at Mr Kim. I did hear him say another artist around here.
He smiled, "Our son," I looked at Hanbin and his face turned bright red and it made me laugh. That was cute that he called his son an artist.
Hanbin has always been great at drawing from when we first met. He was always sketching something in his notebook or any piece of paper that he could find. It was a coincidence that he got into art class. He was more than excited to be in there since he loved it so much.
He hid his face in his hands and I heard his parents laugh. I loved how embarrassed he gets from them. It's cute because I never seen this side of him. He's usually not showing any signs of embarrassment or nervousness, but when he's with his parents, he turns into a tomato.
I would give anything to have my parents here. I didn't care if they constantly embarrassed me or not. I would give my life for a family once more.
"So, Sana, how's your parents?" I hear Hanbin nearly choke on his drink as I start feeling myself grow nauseas. I looked at Hanbin and he gives me a look that I understand completely.
I can't lie.
I get up the courage to speak, as I try to find my voice, "Well, um.." the room is at least twenty degrees hotter and I know that my sweat is visible from their view. "My dad is in another state, and my mom.." I look directly at the table, because I can't look them in the eyes. "She's dead," I felt like my heart was exploding out of my chest.
It was silent and I looked up to see the look of sympathy on both of their faces. Mrs. Kim reaches across the table to grab my hand and squeeze it, "I'm so sorry, I didn't know," I nodded. I didn't know what to say, and I really didn't want to say anything because I felt sick.
I excused myself, because I really needed some fresh air. They didn't argue and I was thankful. I made my way across the restaurant and out the front doors.
The cool breeze immediately hit me and I felt my lungs gasp for air. It's like I couldn't breathe until the minute I stepped outside. I knew that talking about my mom was hard. It was always hard for me to talk or even think about her. It's hard to know that everyday she's gone, and she's not coming back.
I hate lying to everyone about my life, but I also hate telling the truth because it can get me into just as much trouble as a lie. Telling Hanbin about my parents and sister was hard, and I can't imagine telling him about my sister beating me. I don't know when that will be, but I hope it's a long way from now.
The sun has set, and I could see the stars in the sky now. It's pretty outside and I can't help but think back to when my life was different from now. It was better, and I wish I could go back in time to when I had my shit together and lived the perfect life that I crave for now.
So much has happened these past four years, and I wish I could change everything.
I wish I could change the way Yoona is. I wish I could change my lies that I have been telling everybody, and I also wish I could change my feelings toward Mrs. Chou.
My feelings for Mrs. Chou has caused me more heartbreak and pain more than Yoona has ever made me feel. Falling in love with someone you can't have is the worst pain in the world. Take it from someone who has fallen in love with her teacher, but can't do a damn thing about it.
It's not just about the age difference anymore. It's not about her being my teacher. It's about how I felt about her for so long, and how she never knew a single thing. She never knew any of it.
She never cared to realize that one of her students were in love with her. How they were completely mesmerized by everything she did; the way she talked, the way she walked. The way she smiled, and laughed. Everything about her drove me crazy because I knew that I couldn't have her in the way I wanted her.
It bothered me when she was married. It bothered me every time, and after break the students would ask her how her break was, and she would tell us a story about what her husband and her did. She always wore a smile on her face when she spoke about him, or anything that had to do with her marriage.
It made me sick.
Don't get me wrong, I love seeing her happy because that's the only thing I wanted from her since I couldn't make her happy myself. I wanted her to love her marriage, and her husband. I wanted her to be happy in every way possible. It killed me everyday, but her happiness was worth more than my depression.
But now that her husband and her are getting a divorce, I felt a weight lift off of my chest and I couldn't be more happier. I knew that I still didn't have a chance with her, but it made me feel better knowing that she wasn't with him anymore.
It seemed as though her happiness wasn't really what I wanted, because I should have been just as sad as she was when I found out that they were separated, but it didn't. It made me feel regret knowing that I was actually happy about it.
Then I kissed her. What a huge mistake I could have ever made in my life. If I never kissed her, then she would still be a part of my life and I wouldn't be so damn depressed all the time where I couldn't hardly sleep at night.
The thoughts that enter my mind is something that I could hardly control and they're getting out of hand. I need to take a small walk to ease my mind and get rid of all the bad thoughts.
The air was chilly but it felt great. I didn't wear a jacket, but it didn't really bother me. I like the cold more than I like the heat. I'd prefer cold over heat any day.
I was walking down the sidewalk with my head down when I ran into someone. I didn't look up because I didn't really care. I mumbled a sorry and kept walking. I know that it was rude, but I didn't have the energy to lift my head.
I heard footsteps behind me then someone pulled on my arm. I stopped and turned around to meet Mrs. Chou standing in front of me, holding my arm. I was confused on why she was here, but all I could think about was how hard my heart was pounding right now.
"Sana?" hearing my name come from her lips sent chills down my spine. I never thought hearing my name from someone else, especially her, could leave me breathless. "What are you doing out here?" she was wearing a coat, even though it was fairly dark, the street lights on the sidewalks helped me see. I could see her hand stuffed in her pocket and her other hand slowly left my arm.
"I was walking," clever, idiot.
"Where are you walking to?" why is she wanting to know? Isn't she the one who told me that we couldn't have anymore contact?
"I was just walking to clear my head. Hanbin and his parents invited me to eat and I stepped out for a minute," I could still hear my heart pound in my chest and I'm pretty sure she could too.
"Oh ok," is that all? I could hear something else in her voice, but wasn't sure what.
I took a deep breath, "What are you doing Mrs. Chou?" clearly she wants to say something, but she won't.
I could hear her let out a breath, "I'm not sure,"
Wasn't sure? Obviously she was very much aware about what she was doing, but she wouldn't tell me. Even though she could hardly see me, I raised an eyebrow, "Well, when you figure it out, let me know," I didn't intend on it to come out rude, but I don't want to stand here any longer than needed.
I decided to go back to the restaurant.
I walked past her and made my way back when I felt someone pull on my arm. I turned around and seen Mrs. Chou standing there.
"Ok, maybe I do know, but I'm not sure how to approach this situation," I stood there, waiting for what I didn't know what to expect. "I'm sorry, Sana. I'm sorry for everything, and I know this doesn't make any sense because it doesn't make sense to me neither," the street light gave off just enough light to see her face, and even though I could hardly see it, I knew she was staring right at me.
Before she said anything, I heard tires squeak and I saw a car pull up next to us. It wasn't that dark but I saw two dark figures jump out and run towards me. Before I could even think, they grabbed ahold of me and pulled something over my head. I tried to scream but I couldn't.
I felt them push me inside the car and that's when I heard a scream and immediately knew that this could not be happening. I tried kicking and punching whatever I could, but it was no use.
I felt someone grab my hands and in an instant everything faded to black.