"Let me be your only lover..."
– Nautica
❀❀❀
~ D O R O T H Y ~
January 1998
Jenny and I spot Reece and follow him for about forty minutes. We make sure to keep a good distance from him. Fortunately, he only walks. If he had caught a bus or gone by car, we would have lost him. It does not escape my notice that Reece's scarf covers half of his face. Whether it is to keep him warm or mask his identity, I am not too sure. But the latter appears more likely.
When Reece turns left, entering a dark and damp alleyway, just like he said he would in the conversation from a few days ago, we stop and hide behind a wall, silently watching him trying to open the door. But the door does not budge. Reece then bangs his fist against the corroding metal.
"Open the door, man!" he yells.
About two minutes of constant banging and yelling later, the door swings open, and a large, dark-skinned man appears.
"Reece! My man!" the man greets, his arms wide open.
"I told you to leave the door to the alleyway open," Reece growls, evading the man's attempt at giving him a hug.
"My bad," the man says, though he does not look as if he is feeling guilty about it. "I'll leave it unlocked so that you can leave whenever you want. Did you bring the goods?"
"Yeah. Your weekly dose is all in this bag," Reece grumbles, shoving the black bag to the man's chest.
The man grabs onto the bag hastily, before Reece enters the building. I guess the man is used to Reece's abrupt and impolite behaviour as he seems to show no hints of disapproval. The door then slams shut. Jenny and I slowly look at each other with wide eyes and jaws dropped, utterly baffled and shocked.
"Well, what do you know. Reece is actually a drug dealer," Jenny says after a full minute of silence.
"...I refuse to believe it," I whisper.
"Is there such thing as a jail wedding? I'd like to give Luna a heads-up."
I rub my temples in frustration.
"This is terrible," I say. "I have to go in and stop him."
When I step into the alleyway, Jenny grabs onto my arm.
"Hold on. Have you lost your mind, woman?! That place is dodgy!"
"Reece is ruining his life like this!"
"So what? He isn't some kid. He chose this path. He has to deal with the consequences."
"I can't just stand here and do nothing!" I say, making her frown.
"...Why are you like this? Do you care about Reece or something, Dorothy?"
I still.
Care? I care about Reece Walker?
Nonsense.
"I don't care about him," I state.
Yet...
Why do I find it difficult to go back home without doing anything about it? Why does it bother me that Reece is doing something wrong?
"Then drop it. We can get in trouble if we go in. Besides, you have a date in less than two hours!"
At the mention of the date, I groan internally. I had forgotten about it during the entire time of following Reece here.
"Let's go," Jenny says, tugging at my arm.
I shake my head.
"No, Jenny," I say. "I'm going in. You can't stop me."
"But why? It's none of your business–"
"I know but–"
"No 'buts'. We have to go back–"
"I've known him since I was 5, Jenny! He used to be my best friend. I just can't bring myself to sit back and watch him destroy his life like this."
Jenny's expression morphs from one of confusion to one of shock.
"You knew Reece since you were... 5?" she gasps.
"Look, you can go home–"
"Woah, woah, woah. Who said that I'll be leaving you. You go down, I go down with you, remember?"
"It can be dangerous–"
"You go down, I go down with you," she repeats, serious.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course!"
I shoot her a small smile. Back at St. Anne's, for years, I'd be always be doing something alone. It's nice to have an accomplice again. I grab her hand and, together, we walk into the alleyway and enter the building through the creaky, metallic door.
The inside is dimly lit, but I can make out that we are in a corridor. We walk down, approaching a door. The whole place vibrates, with a cacophony of beats gracing our ears. Cautious, I open the door. We enter a large room where at least fifty people are dancing in a vulgar manner. Many are drinking, some are smoking a hookah.
"This is a club," Jenny yells over the music.
I've never been in a club before. Gosh, the ambiance here is horrible. My nose wrinkles at the pungent smell of alcohol mixed with sweat.
"Oh, oh, oh! I see Reece!" my dear friend exclaims.
She points with her index finger, and my eyes follow. Standing behind a counter, within the shadows, is Reece. He is talking with the same dark-skinned man. Jenny and I watch discreetly.
"Wait here, I'll try to find something that can help us. I'll be right back," she informs.
I nod, too focused on Reece to fully register her words. A few minutes later, Reece and the man fist punch before they separate. Reece heads to a door, with a glow-in-the-dark letters assembled together to announce 'STAFF ONLY' plastered on it, behind the counter. When he disappears through the door and slams it shut behind him, I take this as an opportunity to confront the man.
"Hey you!" I yell, nearing the man.
The large man turns around, scanning the vast, ebullient crowd to find me.
"Drug dealer!"
"Drug dealer?" he says in a puzzled tone.
When I am just three feet away from him, his inquisitive eyes finally land on me and he smiles.
"Nah baby. I'm a hug dealer. Come here."
He opens his arms wide and I dodge with wide eyes, shocked by his audacity.
"And a pervert!" I shout.
"Ouch," he says, wincing. "Two accusations in a span of a minute. Big Daddy is hurt."
Big Daddy...?
"How could you let Reece run your errands huh? He's just a kid. Do you not care that he will end up in jail?" I snap.
He frowns, as if his brain is processing what I just said.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold it," he says. "Are you saying that I'm hoarding drugs in my..."
He gestures to the whole place.
"...fabulous club and that I make Reece distribute the drugs?" he continues.
"Duh!"
In an instant, he laughs hysterically, holding onto his belly. All of his fingers are clad in chunky gold rings, which glint from different angles. Since I can see him more clearly than I did back at the alleyway, I notice that he is bald and has a goatee. His right ear has a diamond stud.
"Oh... my... god... This is too funny! My p-poor bladder... Bladder can't take this. God! I gotta pee!"
Frustrated, I cross my arms.
"It's not funny! You can get him jailed!"
He shakes his head, wiping tears away from his eyes.
"Oh sweetheart, you got this all wrong. Big Daddy is as clean as a slate."
"Big Daddy?"
"Or Big D for short," he offers, winking.
I grimace.
Pervert.
He looks at me with curious eyes, eyeing me from head to toe.
"Hmm... You look young. Too young. Little girl, who are you and how do you know Reece?" he asks.
"I will not introduce myself to you."
"Oh, come on. I told you my name," he whines.
Geez, although he seems to be in his forties, he acts like a kid.
"Big Daddy is your real name?" I say.
He sighs.
"Fine. I'll give you my real name, but in exchange, you have to give me your name."
"No!"
"I'll tell you about Reece if you do. You seem to care about him."
What?
First Jenny and now this dude?!
"I. Do. Not. Care. About. Reece. Walker," I hiss.
Noticing my frustration, he raises his hands in surrender, before he extends his right hand to me.
"I'm Dave," he introduces himself.
I ignore his hand. Getting the message, he retracts it awkwardly.
"Dorothy!" I hear a familiar voice say.
OH DARN IT!
Cursing, I turn around and see Jenny, completely unaware that she just exposed my identity to a drug dealer, dashing towards me with a baseball bat in hand.
"Dorothy?" the man repeats in a low tone.
Quickly, I face him and notice how his eyes suddenly light up.
"As in Dorothy Sherman?"
My arms untangle from each other, falling to my sides.
"How do you know my name?" I ask, vigilant.
Jenny stands next to me, noticing Dave, and discreetly gestures her bat to me.
"Thought we can teach them a lesson," she whispers to me, watching Dave warily, oblivious to our conversation.
"Oh, my sweet mama!" Dave exclaims. "You're the Dorothy Sherman! You're Reece's girl!"
My chest feels funny but I choose to ignore the weird feeling.
"Friend," I correct. "I'm his friend."
He shakes his head, with an amused smile.
"No sweetheart. You see..."
He points his index finger at himself.
"I'm Reece's friend."
He then points at me.
"You're his girl. Now I understand why you were so concerned about Reece. Don't worry, Reece and Big Daddy are as clean as a slate."
"Wait, so there's no drug dealing?" Jenny asks, looking... a bit disappointed?
"Clean as a slate, I just told you," Dave repeats, facing her.
"Then why does Reece come to this shady place," I ask.
He opens his mouth, offended.
"Hey, my club is lit! Not shady."
"...I beg to differ," I mumble.
Dave sighs, before he turns around.
"It's too noisy here. Both of you, follow me," he says.
"Why should we trust you?" I say.
"Your friend is holding our only self-defence weapon," he says, pointing at the bat that Jenny is holding.
Jenny, sheepish, hides the bat behind her back. I don't trust Dave, but if Reece trusted him enough to tell him about me, then maybe it's alright to follow him...? But what if I'm wrong, and he is actually a bad person harbouring bad intentions.
"Don't worry," Jenny whispers to me, noticing my hesitance. "I'm not afraid to use a bat."
Feeling a bit more brave, I hold Jenny's hand. We then follow him, keeping our guards up.
"Reece has been coming around for years now," Dave says while we walk to a different room. "He is family. A nephew that I never had. A nephew that I never asked for."
"How did you two meet?" I ask.
"I'll get to that."
We end up at a quieter and brighter space, standing in front of a circular table with chairs surrounding it.
"Please, sit. Make yourself feel at home."
Jenny and I acquiesce, reluctant. She holds onto the bat more tightly, cautious. Dave sits down after we do.
"Do you girls want anything? Beer, perhaps?"
"We're underaged," I say.
"What happens in this pub, stays in the pub," he says, winking at us.
Noticing our silent disapproval and vigilance, he sighs.
"Fine, how about juice? We've got apple."
"No thanks. We're good," I say.
"Don't worry about paying. It's on the house."
"No thanks," I repeat, more firmly this time.
Unhappy with my stubbornness, he summons a waiter and asks for two glasses of apple juice anyway. He orders a glass of beer as well, most probably for himself.
"So," he begins, shifting on his chair to feel more comfortable. "We're talking about Reece. You trust her to listen in?"
He points at Jenny.
"Yes, I trust her," I reply.
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Alright. So... Where do I begin... Ah, yes! Years ago, when Reece was a cute, little kid, I was understaffed. His mum, Linda, wanted a job, and I offered it to her. But Linda had no place to go, and she had Reece with her. I took them in and took care of them as if they were my own. They actually lived upstairs."
I sit still on my chair.
"When was this? How long did they stay with you?"
"This was about... I think 7 years ago? They stayed for about a year before Linda's husband 'sobered up' and decided to take them back," he replies, making air quotes at 'sobered up'.
That means...
My letters...
A lump begins to form in my throat as realisation hits me: that Reece living with Dave coincides with the time period in which I sent letters to Reece.
...So Reece never received my letters.
He was never at fault.
I wrongly blamed him.
All this time.
"Reece continued to go to his primary school," Dave continues, snapping me out of my torturous thoughts. "But poor kid. When I met him for the first time, he barely spoke, barely slept and barely ate. Without realising it, I became Reece's father, brother and best friend, all at once."
His last sentence... genuinely warms my heart. What Reece's father had done to him... The poor boy was definitely traumatised, and I had just left him at the time, so Reece was most probably heartbroken, depressed and lonely.
The waiter comes back with our drinks. Jenny and I refuse to touch our drinks. Dave, however, happily picks up his glass and takes three big gulps.
"And he told you about me," I state, once he puts his glass down on the table.
"Yeah. When we started getting close, he would always talk about you. All good things. According to Reece, it's blasphemy to say something negative about you. Even as a joke."
My stomach suddenly feels weird, as if I'm going down a rollercoaster.
"Even now?" Jenny whispers, clearly interested yet emotional.
Dave laughs lightly.
"Yes, even now."
"What does Reece do now?" I ask, changing the topic and ignoring the surge of feelings I am experiencing right now. "Linda doesn't work, so where does he get the money from?"
He sighs, leaning back.
"Look, I can assure you that Reece is not doing anything illegal. Well, except for stealing my alcohol, but that's not the point. He's a good kid. A kid who is in love."
"With who?"I ask.
Dave raises his eyebrows, as if I asked the most ridiculous question.
"Did he not tell you?"
"Tell me what?" I ask.
He waves it off.
"If he hasn't told you, then I will tell you. It's payback for all the alcohol he stole from me. I bet that little motherfucker is in my supply room right now, drinking away his never-ending woes," he mumbles the last sentence to himself.
"What?"
"Dorothy, sweetheart," he begins. "You are Reece's first love. He is in love with you."
"He was in love with me. We were just kids at the time," I correct.
He shakes his head.
"He is still in love with you," he says.
"You're mistaken."
"He did say you've become stubborn," he mutters.
"Excuse me?" I snap.
He lifts his hands up in surrender.
"His words, not mine. He's your victim, spare me," he quickly says.
"Reece does not love me," I finalise. "And I do not love Reece."
"Well, I told you the truth. It's your choice to believe it or not."
"So Reece is not doing anything illegal?" I say, changing the topic.
"I swear on my poor mama's soul. May she rest in peace."
"...Good. And about us coming here–"
"Don't worry. Big Daddy's lips are sealed. Reece won't know a thing," he reassures me.
Perhaps it's because of his closeness to Reece or his friendly face that I am starting to trust him a bit. I don't know why but... My heart wants me to trust Dave and each and every word he has uttered. But my better judgement refuses to trust him.
After he finishes his drink, he escorts Jenny and me out of his club. Jenny hands him his baseball bat the moment we are outside, in the alleyway. When we say our farewells, Jenny and I start to walk away.
"Come back again. Apple juice will always be on the house for you both!" he says.
I turn around.
"Dave?"
"Big Daddy," he corrects me. "Preferably Big D."
"Yeah, whatever," I say, before I allow a smile to form on my lips. "Thank you."
"Ah, it's just apple juice," he says.
I shake my head.
"No. I didn't mean that. I meant, thank you for taking care of Reece when I wasn't around," I say, tucking a strand of my hair behind my right ear. "Thank you for supporting him. It must have been tough for him to open up to you."
His dark eyes widen for an ephemeral moment before he clears his throat.
"It was something Big Daddy just had to do," he says, smiling. "Now get outta here."
I wave at him, and so does Jenny.
"See you soon. Very soon," he says, winking.
When we exit the alleyway, Jenny then holds my hand silently. I glance at her, a look of understanding and affection graces her facial features.
"I have dozens of questions," she says. "But of course, I'm not going to ask them. Except for one. Are you ok?"
"...Honestly, I don't know."
***
"It's nearly quarter past six!" Jenny huffs, panting.
Breathing hard, I bend down with my hands on my knees. She and I have just entered my room, on the verge of collapsing. We ran for twenty-five minutes straight. Man, we have to get in shape. Back at St. Anne's, I had a stamina of a horse!
"Damien..." Pant. "Is coming in..." Pant. "15 minutes."
"I need to shower," I huff.
Jenny collapses onto the floor, sprawled.
"Hurry," she says. "Get your sweaty butt in the bathtub now."
"Aye aye," I groan.
After a ten-minute shower, an six-minute blow-dry, a five-minute dress-up and seven-minute make-up, I am finally ready except for the finishing touches that Jenny is doing right now. Damien arrived about ten minutes ago, but we asked mother to tell him to wait another fifteen minutes. I was told by mother that he didn't seem to mind.
Now, Jenny is helping me put on a necklace while I stand in front of a mirror. As Damien wished, I am wearing a dress. It reaches just below my knees. It is white at the top and blue at the bottom. I wear a pair of white flat shoes. Instead of curling my hair, Jenny only blow-dried it due to the paucity of time.
"Dorothy, you're quite a catch, huh?" Jenny says, clasping the necklace together. "The two most popular guys in college are after you."
"It was never my intention to have it this way," I say, afraid that she may fall into the cursed path of jealousy that Luna is on.
"Oh no, I'm not jealous or anything. Definitely not. Don't you worry," she says, shooting me a smile through the mirror.
"I thought you were obsessed–"
"Nah. I was fangirling, mainly to make Luna happy. I actually like someone else."
My eyes widen and I whip myself around to face her.
"You do? Who?" I ask.
I can't think of anyone that she would like except for Damien, Reece and Nolan. She giggles, like a lovesick teenager.
"It's my secret. I want to tell you, but you have to first promise me to have no more secrets between us, alright?"
"Of course. After what we went through today, I proclaim you as my sister. I promise."
She smiles widely before she breathes in.
"It's Harris," she reveals.
My jaw drops.
"Harris?" I say, surprised.
Harris is actually nice. But...
"Jenny, Harris loves–"
"He loves Luna, I know."
"How?"
"It's obvious." I nod, understanding. "But I'll wait. When the right time comes, I'll confess."
"How would you know when it's the right time to confess?"
"I don't know. But I believe in fate. When it comes, I'll know and you'll be the first to know, besides myself of course. I never told anyone about this... It feels like a load just got lifted up from my shoulders."
I smile and hug her. She returns my hug. When we let go of each other, she laughs lightly.
"I love you, Jenny," I say.
"I love you too, Dorothy."
*~*~*~*~*
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