Elizabeth's POV...
We started the day by sharing breakfast in his kitchen. I never thought that cooking was one of his passion. He made waffles and prepared different stuff to choose. From colorful omelete-- I wondered what he put in the eggs; sausages and bacon, a cup of whipped cream, blueberry marmalade and... the last one made a spark in my head when he said... I also prepared your favourite maple syrup.
The maple syrup. How did he know it's my morning favourite in my breakfast table? I was about to ask that but he immediately explained himself that he has no idea how I prefer my breakfast-- if I want it salty or I am more with the sweets.
Salty in the morning is not my thing so I started getting some waffle and before my hand could reach he immediately took and squeezed on top the maple syrup. I gave him a quick look but it seemed like he ignored me.
"Since you like it sweet, better start it off with this syrup."
"How did you know it is my thing?"
I looked at him with high hope that maybe he researched about me. Why not? He's a billionaire. Nothing is impossible.
"Just a wild guess, I think..."
He grinned, after.
"Didn't you make any research about me or something?"
"Nope. Well actually, I do that when needed. I have men to do the research for me. But with you I want everything to be discovered privately on my own."
"Now that I'm going to eat the waffle with my syrup, I don't think I could go for the other ones. It is my favourite!"
"But you could at least try others if you like."
"Nah! They will just spoil my taste this morning. It's been a long time since the last time I ever tasted a fresh maple syrup."
That's true. When I came here in the city and started my life alone, I almost forgot the life I had at home. I was served with the best and fresh foods from breakfast 'til dinner. Everything is served on the table and everything is served on my plate. But being alone for quite a while, I learned to dine and serve my plate with the simplest yet healthy meals I could get for myself. I hate wasting food and so I only prepare what would be enough for me for the whole day, everyday.
"Okay, as you wish my stargazer."
He smiled sweetly and then winked.
The morning went smoothly. We talked funny things while having breakfast. It was a good thing he didn't push about the dream I had. I guess he wanted me to enjoy the day so maybe he thought that it's better not to start with something heavy.
He said he has a plan after this. It was obvious in his face how eager he wanted to take me out for a morning walk. Actually, I thought it was a bit late to do the walking. It was already past ten. I am used to take a morning jog or walk as early as six. But then I sensed something different in him. It felt like he's a different person now. There is something in the way he talks to me, and every now and then he asks me for a hug. And when he does, it feels like I had been gone for a long time that his embrace feels like he never wanted to let me go. He would even stroke and nuzzle my hair.
We're both ready. If you ever wonder how I was dressed today, well he only asked me what I wanted to wear in my most comfortable manner and not later than half an hour my outfit arrived; sent by one of his men.
"You look beautiful in your hooded sweatshirt and pants."
He gave a compliment while inspecting me from head to toe.
I don't understand in what level he perceives the word beautiful. I was just only wearing a plain grey sweatshirt matched with black jogging pants. There was nothing particularly fancy in my outfit. In fact, it was him who looked more glorious. He's wearing the same outfit like we're going to a gym for a workout only that his pairs were in darker hues of navy blue. If I will be standing beside him, I may appear like his assistant. Which is true!
We were already in the middle of a highway and he was driving so unhurriedly. I had no idea where were we heading forward. He just told me that it was a surprise.
Looking at the side mirror, I could see that we're almost leaving the city and hell yes, it's already more than past an hour since we left his penthouse.
"James, are you a hundred percent sure that we're not leaving the country?"
I asked him with a hint of weariness.
"Uhumm..."
I looked at him. From his response and composure while driving along, he seemed like a picture of enthusiasm. He was in a very good mood as if he's wearing his heart in his sleeves.
"I wanted to show you a place and we're almost near."
He said and then looked at me for an instant and wink.
I looked around. We were off the city. It was more like a countryside. We passed several fields. I could feel how my nostril filtered the fresh air around and it didn't escape my eyes the golden wilderness. I suddenly felt like I'm home.
"Do you like what you see?"
"Like? I love it!!!"
I said half amazed and a bit teary. Yup, I seemed to be emotional at this point but who cares? This isn't the place I was expecting he would bring me. I thought we're going to some kind of an amusement park only people like him can afford.
He stopped the car and pulled himself out and made his way to open the door for me. He bowed his head and made a gesture like a prince asking for my hand. I was hesitant. Not that I didn't like his idea but I was just overwhelmed. I was feeling a bit unsure although I really loved what I was seeing; but then a mixture of joy and a sudden surge of fear were rumbling against inside me. I was nervous. I looked at him wearily then I let him take my hand while I stepped out of the car.
"Your hand is cold."
He mumbled with scrunched brows.
"Yeah. It's pretty cold in here. But it's okay, I mean I'm fine."
I faked my smile to cover my uneasiness.
"That's good! I know you didn't expect this but like I said, it was a surprise and I am so glad you loved the place."
We started taking small steps while he continued explaining his reasons why he chose this place.
I looked around for another time. We were meters away from the car. It was peaceful, lovely, and pure. But then again, there was this sudden eerie feeling and then I consciously felt that he's still holding my hand all this time. I tried to act very casual. I don't want to ruin the moment. I know he's trying to be romantic after all what we've been through from the start.
Every now and then I tried looking to his perfect face. Honestly, I didn't understand what he's blabbing about but he looked childlike funny yet contented.
"Hey, anything wrong? You're too silent."
I get startled from his hand poking my cheek.
"Hmm... no, nothing. It is just that this place is wonderful! It made me lost for words."
"I know. That is why I brought you here. This is a special place I mean not in a fancy way but--"
"I told you I loved it. I just don't know why, I mean it's the first time I have been here but it seemed oddly familiar."
I never noticed I was shaking inside but only when he shifted me in front of him and tugged my chin to look up.
"What's the matter, Elizabeth? I can see in your eyes that you're bothered. We're good, aren't we?"
"Yes, we are good. I'm just... I'm just having this weird feeling. Something between happiness and sadness... something like someone's left behind... like, like--"
"Hey, hey... I am here. You are here with me. You're not alone and I'll never let that happen... ever."
"No James... you don't understand me. Here... it felt like I had been here but I can't recall a particular time when I went here and for what reason. But I am having discomfort which is making me feel like--"
"Elizabeth--"
"James, I'm sorry please don't think it the wrong way. I liked the surprise, I loved the place. It has nothing to do with you why I suddenly felt confused. Maybe it's too overwhelming. Maybe it's too cold out here. Maybe--"
"Hush! Come here. Calm down, sweetie..."
He hugged me. His hand brushed my back soothingly and I could feel that tears were starting to swell out from the brim of my eyes. I don't know what's going on with me. Am I being too dramatic for this? But hell no! It is just that this place seemed very familiar and I couldn't put into words the exact reason why the feeling of insecurity suddenly arose behind me. The same kind of feeling I am dealing everytime that dream comes to visit me at my most lonely nights.
Now I feel warm from his embrace. I'm at home, again.
"James, thanks."
"Don't mention it."
"No. Just let me say it."
I heard him swallow. I felt his Adam's apple moved above my head. Is he nervous, too?
"Okay. If that makes you feel alright, so be it. Fine to take another walk or you want to get inside the car?"
"No, let's continue walking."
He let my body lose his warm touch. He looked at my face and I know he was examining me if I was really fine. He tugged some falling strands of my hair at the back of my ear.
"Hey, were you crying?"
"Of course not! I am not a cry baby. It is cold in here that it gets to my eyes."
"Yeah, right. They were just your normal eyes being teary red exactly like those of the cranks."
I punched his arm lovingly. I know he didn't buy my alibi.
He laughed hard and then held again my hand. We continued walking along the muddy path. I can't help not to join his laugh. It's weird to see how uncommonly happy he was. People from work and perhaps around the globe knew him as a ruthless and domineering business tycoon but right now he's just like a normal being laughing and breathing like he doesn't seem to care about life for being unfair.
"Ow, how lucky can I get today!"
I suddenly jolted from his loud voice and then our pace became a bit faster than normal. He was tugging me from behind.
"Hey, James. What has gotten into you?"
"Hushhh... come, quickly!"
"Isn't this the obvious thing I am doing?"
I rolled my orbs. Is he doing this on purpose?
"Okay now, slow down and close your eyes."
"What?! Do you really want me to get tripped?"
He laughed at me. I think he's being terrible today, or not.
"No honey! Why would I let my princess get tripped on the mud? Come I'll cover your eyes with my hanky so I can hold your hand."
"Don't make any joke James... I hate being covered."
"Trust me you'll love it."
He released me and covered my eyes with his silky soft cloth. I smelled the perfume.
Now all I see is darkness. He steadied me by holding both my shoulders.
"Okay, be still. I'll come back"
"Are you going to leave me here? Look if you're trying to play hide and seek with me, I'm off. I don't feel doing it today, James."
I am about to unclasp the folding but he grabbed my hands.
"Not so fast, milady! Please don't turn me down. This is another surprise. I am not going to hide, I promise. Just give me a couple of minutes."
"But you're making me nervous!"
"Of course, not! You'll going to love it!"
"No perversion???"
"Yeah, no perv-- hey!"
"Just wanted to make sure, James."
I heard him suddenly chuckle.
"Jame?? ...Well??"
"Hmm, yeah... nothing like that!"
He said in an obvious distant sound. I was wondering what other surprise can he do more than what I had seen half an hour ago. I couldn't help being really nervous. My hands were getting colder than before. The familiarity of the place and the situation were sending chills all over me. It felt like my knees were shaking or maybe not. Maybe it was just my imagination and seeing nothing but darkness had only added another level of oddness into me and the feeling of pain was starting to swell around. I hated the sensation.
"Now you can untug the folds."
I almost jumped from his sudden approach.
"Damn, James!"
"Oopps, my apology. You're too quiet and freezing like a statue."
I unfolded the hanky off my eyes and as soon as the light struck my sight, I went mute. I looked into his eyes and there was the unshakeable admiration. In his hands were the memories. I couldn't withdraw myself from the surreal scene.
"Hey, don't worry. You're still the most beautiful stargazer for me. Come here, hold these."
Seeing him holding those wild flowers, the dream flipped forward. The boy in my dream was holding those flowers the same way James was holding them for me. I was shocked and stoned. Every tensed muscles inside me from the cold began to collapse one by one and at the same time each scene from my nightmares began to strike my vision like sun rays hitting me off one by one.
I suddenly felt James. He handed me those flowers. The same flowers that made that particular childhood event the most everlasting memory. But like a broken glass, each piece of shard is scattered all around and I can't fix it because the pain is already striking me hard.
"Elizabeth..."
"James, they're beautiful! What- ...how- ... I mean when--"
"Yeah, I know... aren't they mysterious? Me too... I am wondering how, in this cold autumn, they still manage to bloom like it's a mid May springtime. And you know what makes them different and wild? It's how they remain standing against the weather. I think it is their strong will to remain alive. And that is how my love for you will be... my strong will and desire to keep the feelings alive."
And that is how my love for you will be... my desire to keep the feelings alive.
And a teardrop fell. I am lost for words. Is my nightmare haunting me for real? Why is it repeating all over again? The same exact words that boy had said in my dream! This is too much, I guess.
"Elizabeth... I'm sorry. I hope you could forgive me. Let us make a fresh start."
"James... I think.... I think I need to go home."
I suddenly felt weak. I wanted to be alone for now. I wanted to go home and close myself in silence. I looked at him. His eyes are full of sorrow now. Why so? I know we didn't hit a good head start but he's already forgiven so why is he insisting for my forgiveness?
He hugged me tightly and again that peaceful warmth was giving me a shell I needed to coil up.
"Okay.. if that's what you wish. I think, I did too much today, right?"
I heard his words and I could sense the air of sadness in there. So I held hard against his body. The need to stay there like my long lost haven was deep.
"I'm sorry James. I know I'm being too dramatic today and I swear I even hate it. I mean this usually happens after I had that weird dream. It really affects me so internally. And I'm also embarrassed that you saw me that way."
He pulled me out and without looking at me, he just held my other hand that is not holding the flowers.
"Let's get back to the car."
Is he mad? Did I ruin the surprise? Oh my god, I think I hurt him.
We walked together without saying a single word until we reached the car. I couldn't decipher his silence. I was afraid to look back at him but I couldn't pretend not to care for what he's going through at the moment. It felt like I wasted the day.
"Don't worry about my parents, we can settle a dinner for another time."
"No James. I still wanted to see them tonight. I'll come for dinner. I just wanted to stay home a bit for today."
"I am not obliging you--"
"James, please.."
I can't look at him but I can sense that he is not okay. I heard him sigh heavily.
"I am sorry Elizabeth. For everything I did to you. You have no idea how I was being haunted by the mistakes I incurred ."
"James, it's getting old. I thought we're through about it."
"No Elizabeth... you have no idea--"
"You're already forgiven, James. How many times do I have to tell you? Well, honestly I can't believe that we're actually heading forward in this relationship. At first, I was really head over heels disgusted of your arrogance. And I'm sorry too for thinking of you the wrong way. Like I said before we didn't get acquainted fairly right. But I wanted you to believe me that it was in the past. You're forgiven so I think we better not dig anymore what is left behind, okay?"
"One day... when the time is right...."
I looked at him with uncertainty. Are we really on the same page? I mean, are we talking about the same thing? What is he trying to say?
He looked at me and smiled. But his eyes had a lot more to say than those slightly curved lips.
"So... are we good?"
I repeated his question while giving him the sweetest smile. I just hoped it was working to change his mood.
"We're good... more than good sweetie! You have no idea how much. But when the time is right I wanted to let you know something and I just hope you won't change by that time."
"Hey, what is that?? Are you implying that you'll be proposing for a marriage?"
I felt suddenly shaken inside. I'm not yet ready for that or am I... god I felt suddenly nervous. He's not serious, I hoped. Should I laugh?
"Nope! It's not about it but I can propose now if you like. You're the only woman I wanted to bring in front of the altar and you know, spend with the other stuff after marriage."
He looked at me and I saw how his eyes got clouded with the thoughts. I blushed and I know that my reaction was so obvious that his pupils get dilated in an instant. I unconsciously swallowed.
"Hey... it's alright. You're nervous. Like I always say, we can do that when you're ready."
He chuckled.
Okay, I took that his bad mood has passed. He returned to his playful self. Why not try to ride his mood?
"Don't worry, I will let you know, soon."
I said and gave him a wink.
"How soon? You mean, tonight? After dinner?"
"James!!! That's--"
"What? Gross?? No... I'm sensual you know! And it's normal... I am a man, you're a woman. We're both grown-up people... and you're deadly beautiful!"
God, I wanted to crawl under the ground. I wasn't born yesterday but talking things like these with a man makes me feel so embarrassed.
"Hey, you're blushing hard! It was a joke!"
Then he started laughing. Now he is totally over the mood he had a while ago. I was glad but then how would I know. He always has this unpredictable mood swing.
"I love you, James."
The laugh faded. His eyes were just pointing straight ahead. Was it too bold of a move, I mean for me to say those powerful words to him? But they were true. They just came out the way how I exactly wanted to let him know about my feelings for him. Honestly, I wanted him to believe me. There is no doubt that those lingering feelings when I am around him especially when I am in his arms are so intense and I am not that good in putting them into words. Everytime I wanted to say something, my fear of articulating them in a different perspective is shaking me off. But my gut is always telling me that I knew him all my life and the situation is mixing up with those weird dreams. What he said, what the boy said... urgh!
"I love you more than anything else in this world, Elizabeth... if you only know how much!"
"Yeah, I can see it James in so many different ways."
"No.. there's more to know."
Okay. Maybe he has more ways to show it than what I know he is capable of. Maybe I was overwhelmed of what he was giving me because I never had any of these. But still, I am hoping that we don't remain behind the curtains.
"Let's get you home so you can rest."
"Thanks... I am really coming tonight, just so you know."
"Are you sure?" He glanced a bit with a hint of worriness.
"Yeah. I am fine."
I gave him an assuring smile but deep inside I was not sure how will I be this evening knowing that I was about to face the parents of my boss. I was having a feeling that it's going to be strikingly awkward. I just hoped with crossed fingers that I don't make anything stupid.
Now I am really feeling nervous. It is not the first time I am going to meet them. I have worked for them and the only different thing now is I am working for their son. Or maybe it's the fact that I will be presented this time as their son's girlfriend. My god, the idea is giving me shivers!
Suddenly, I felt him hold my hand that is on my lap.
"Relax, sweetie... it will be fine."
And this time he is the one who gave me an assuring smile.