Ton's words haunted me the entire night. He said I didn't have to make my mind up straight away, but he still said it. I wanted a fresh start, I wanted that. But that's what terrified me the most. I had left before, but was I ready to leave again? It would be selfish not to go with them, but it would also be selfish to stay. I had waited for years for a good family. And to have one with Ton was just a miracle. Maybe this was my chance for a new life. Maybe it was the right thing to do.
I turned to my left and saw Ton staring at me. I wrapped a blanket around me and sighed.
"Having second thoughts?" he whispered.
I nodded. "It 's just so sudden... I don't understand."
"I know... But even if it's only for a little while?... To see how it is?"
I sighed. "I don't know Ton... I just came back."
"Is there any harm in seeing what it's like?... I don't want to leave you again," he asked.
I turned to face the wall.
"Look, I'm worried about you, Finn-"
"Well, join the club. I'm worried about me, too," I scoffed.
"I just want you to be safe... Can't you see that?" he asked.
I didn't say anything. I threw a blanket over my head and tucked my legs into my chest.
"I know you're not asleep, Finn. And I can tell you're going to be up for a while... Just make sure you think about it," Ton sighed.
I nodded, and put my hands in my hoodie pocket. I couldn't sleep. It was all I could think about. I wanted to make Agatha, and Ton happy. But I also didn't want to say goodbye to Poppy, and Josh. My head was stuck. I needed to get away from it all, but I also didn't want it to end. For the whole of my life, I've done things to make other people happy, but I had to put my happiness first. If I was going to go, I would do it for me. And so I did.
"Ton?" I whispered.
"Yeah?" he replied.
"I'm going to go with you."
"Thank you," he said, before turning back around.
Maybe it was time for a change. Maybe I needed to think for myself for once. Maybe this was the right thing to do.