CHAPTER 23. SPLASH! CRASH! BANG! AND A DASH OF SH!T!!
"It's not the god whom you serve that makes you angelic, but the wings you soar high above all else that truly make you an angel. Serve well, love have compassion, never forget and above all else be true. Serve wrong and live lies... you lose the dearest thing you've ever known. Your wings..."
SAMANTHA.
"OWW! HOLY-WHAT THE F-" "WHOA!" "OH MY GOD!" There was chaos everywhere, but I felt as if I were vibrating, anger, terror, and adrenalin coursing no pounding through my veins inflating me, puffing me up for defense. I know I can be erratic, crazy and kooky, but I've had what you could say a 'hard life' when I was younger. I learned on my own and with the help of Tiffany to grow happy, to come to peace with my life. I had to do a lot of defending growing up, and mostly I didn't know what I was defending or that whatever it was, was worth defending in the first place, but now all this right now, was worth it. I knew what was to be defended, and I was going to pull out all the stops to do so.
Like I said it was chaos, Tiffany, Robby and Jace, were all in movement and shouting all at the same time. I stood there hands held out at my sides in fists, heavily panting eyes closed to slits, standing, huffing, and puffing. Jace had flew into the corridor wall SPLAT! DRIP! DRIP! The coffee spilt to the floor. There was a dent were his head had hit, and he held his nose for dear life, as the blood spewed from it in heavy droplets to the floor. Tiffany had flown off the couch, and wasn't sure if she should run to me and hold me back, or tend to Jace. Robby looked like a scared little girl eyes all wide horror tinkling within them, and he side stepped gingerly towards Jace.
I wouldn't say I'm a 'tough guy' per say, but I'm sure not known for taking anyone's crap if you didn't know, now you know, ya know? that's what I used to say all the time, that was me in a nut shell. Seeing his face, his pain, all of there reactions sent something in me floating up, and horribly I felt... better somewhat. Am I bad person? God I hope not. Finally Jace opened his eyes and it was like he could see me even when they were closed because they found me instantly, and the look in them was... hurt, very hurt. And normal. He looked like he was going to cry, he was hurt from the punch itself, and the fact that I was the one who threw it. Something immediately felt off.
The... his-his eyes. Curious, I had to step forward, I did. I was just about in front of him when Tiff went to stop me, even Robby's scaredy cat persona would stop I bet if I tried to hit his friend again, but say if the hits were to go his way? Then running like a scared slapped puppy, all the way home. "Stop!" Tiffany said but I wasn't even really hearing her, nor seeing her I needed to see Jace, really see him. I shoved her stopping hand aside and pushed towards him, landing directly in front of him. The 'pissed off' look found its way into his hurt, suffering eyes and he exhaled a hard short breath in defiance. He took a step back to place some distance between us I suppose, and I stepped closer our body's touching.
Up on the tips of my toes, my eyes creased, eyebrows bent in complete concentration, I read and studied his eyes. Watching. Waiting. My eyes made a soft snapping sound as the raced side to side, in discovery. Hands still held tight cupping his crumpled nose, "You wana take another hit?" Jace said quietly and quite harshly. But Jace. Just Jace. His eyes stayed the same no change at all in the way he spoke, the way they worked, looked. My eyes fell deeper forming a shocked and ashamed formation, I was now hurt myself. I took in a quick steadying breath and before I felt the familiar prick, I stared into his eyes, as my hands slowly crept up and over lapped his, cupping his hands sheltering his nose. I removed them slowly and took a look at his nose. It was a bit swollen, red and slightly crooked. I felt the prick then and my eyes dashed to his and the tears pooled, my lips quivered just slightly, and I leaned into him and kissed him ever so gently. "I'm so sorry," I whispered.
He just stood there, I didn't want to hurt him any further, I had made such a terrible mistake. "Your him-you. Not him that thing. I'm so sorry Jace," I felt like the scum of the world beneath disease and cancer for hurting him. How could I not know? Suddenly I questioned if any of it was real or not in the first place, "Your you. Your you. Not him," I found myself saying without realizing it, "What-what the hell are you talking about? Of course he's him, what's wrong with you?" Tiffany said shocked, baffled, and confused. "What is going on?" "Yeah?" Robby piped up, along side Tiffany.
"Shh! Please I need quiet, I need to think!" I rushed out, I needed to clear my head, I needed to find out what all this meant. If this was the 'real' Jace, where and what is the other 'Jace?' "Robby come on! Tell me you noticed?" I didn't hear a reply so I let go of Jace, and spun around to face Robby. "Well?..." with my words and eyes I pleaded to him to please answer, and with the truth, "Well um,... I mean come on! Do I really need to answer this?" "You do! Now!" I retorted "No. no I didn't-don't. I don't even know what your talking about, I'm still trying to find out what the hell is going on starting with walking in the door earlier. Which I might add, no one has cared to tell me, just what that is. Or what exactly has happened to Tiffany, and you, and why you were both just in prison yesterday." shiz I had forgotten he hadn't been involved, that he is completely clueless in all of this.
"Samantha what is going on?" Tiff, not quite shouted but more, raised her voice sternly. "Were you asleep the entire time? Did you see the Jace, or talk to him like at all?" I asked seeming to me that everything was normal sounding, "What are you talking about, 'the Jace' don't you mean just 'Jace?' honestly girl your freaking me out." "Oh god! This is sounding like I'm crazy-I'm not, just listen-focus! Did you see Jace at all? Did you notice anything different about him?"
"No I-I," "Oh come on don't do this to me!" Tiff just threw up her hands in confusion, complete with a shoulder shrug, and shot up eyes brows, "Tiffany of all people here you should know what the hell I mean when I say 'different' after all these days and all we've been through, I thought that you would be the one to understand, just please try to think back. All other thoughts aside," understanding melted her face, and her eyes rolled up in concentration. I waited patiently but not without angst.
"No, like I started to say, I-I didn't notice anything, I mean Jace is Jace. He wasn't melting or anything."
I decided that I might've been going about this all wrong so I spun once again around to face Jace this time, "Jace where were you just now, no-no never mind just tell me exactly where you were the entire last 48 hours, and do-if you even think about lying I'll know," I said switching tactics at the end in case this was all a trick, I had to play hard ball incase.
His face shot into a 'what the eff?' expression, and I pressed him, and miraculously Tiffany caught on coming to my side, and said, "Just answer Jace, what hurt could it do?" and then Jace's face contorted into 'what hurt huh? As he shot up his thumb and pointed to his busted nose, before scoffing. Tiffany let out a meek "Oh, yeah..." "Please, Jace. Just please..." I pleaded once more, and he recanted everything, and I mean everything, begrudgingly he did, from bathroom trips to nap time. I noticed something in particular and asked a very specific question, "When was the last time you say you saw me again?"
"What-what kinda question is that?" he scoffed, "Answer the question please," "Your were asleep finally, and I slipped out to go home I wasn't sure when you were going to wake, I wanted to surprise everyone with coffee. Now its my turn-" his whole demeanor changed now, and his voice rang of authority. Before he could continue I tried cutting him off with a question but was immediately silenced, "-now wait just a damn minute. I think-Samantha that, I've been extremely patient and understanding and kept all my questions to such a minimum that things have gone too far-so far that I'm this close to my breaking point. Now is the time for answers, and I don't want any bull when it comes to the truth alright?"
With still bodies, and stone faces all was silent within the suddenly cold room with the stagnant air of lies, horrors, and unspoken truths.
mentally I cursed, it happened to rhyme with spit.
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CASPAIN.
"Yes," I bowed further while down on my knee's hand fisted held to heart in the typical honorable fashion and kissed the space in front of Nay-U's feet, "I am at your will. I am yours. My trust lies within you now..." even though I hadn't the slightest idea what I was truly doing, in my soul I knew it was the truest thing I have ever come to know. I was that much closer to saving Samantha. Nay-U's head nodded in assessment, and her hands came around from behind her back cradling a small sheathed dagger. Her tiny hands lay out before me motionless as her eyes stayed fixated on its beauty for it was undeniably beautiful. It shimmered in a opaque pearlescent's of crimson.
Like the color of my wings. It was sincerely mesmerizing.
'Caspian you are not wrong,' came Nay-U's melodic young voice inside my head, her eyes looked up from there hold on the small dagger, and met my eyes with tears inside that instantly spilt over. 'This dagger is pure beauty and pure you. It is of great likeness to your wings winged one because it is forged from your very essence itself. I personally took the sample of your tremendous wings myself and wholeheartedly had this crafted for you. Only you can wield this weapon, but Caspian you must be very careful on what and whom you use this on. Is that undeniable clear?' "Yes. Your saying that this-this dag-weapon is made of me?" I asked aloud I was in immense awe, "Yes this is an exact match to your soul, it is but an extension, crafted and manipulated from your strengths to serve but you. It isn't just merely any old dagger." Nay-U replied.
Her hands stretched out to me for me to take my likeness in this dagger from her tiny strong hands and as soon as my hands touched upon the dagger light shown were it had touched and ignited our hands in such a glow it is hard for even me to describe. The only word that keeps surfacing in my mind-which cant even completely cover what this was, was holy. This was what the word meant, this moment in time, this dagger's magic within my hands was holy, at such impeccable depth that this was the reason for the words existence, I'm sure.
One of the sienna figures morphed closer and spoke, "You must take great care, winged one. You see this is quite a magnificent and unique device being it an extension of you, you must take great care as if it were you. Think of it as a charge your most precious charge yet." I nodded solemnly and waited for the continuance, "There will be many challenges, trials and tribulations and defamations of your character as well as countless others, but we believe you can do it." Nett professed. "You will be needing this," Shesh-a proclaimed and upon saying so, manifested a solid hand like formation with a scroll within it. I took it cautiously of course and nodded.
"Think else where, think the ancient hut your were in before meeting us Caspian, that should get you started. Caspian another thing is you are no longer an angel of heaven, but an angel for us and our cause, we are earth based spirits, meaning we derive everything from our surroundings. We know you have questions many indeed, all will be revealed in due time when the time is right, not a minute too soon. Our word is all we are. Think of it like this, your brethren cannot seek you like before as you are on a different frequency technically, but remember what we said about your weapon, tis more like a mortal solar powered calculator, is that understandable winged one? I'm afraid I'm not well with the translations to modern times." both Nett and Nay-u declared to me.
"Its quiet alright, I understand perfectly. But if I may ask, what do I do from here-there rather, once outside this plain?" I was all set to do what is required of me, but I am a creature of structure after all I need a path, I thought and as the thoughts sounded off within my head I was answered aloud, "Yes, Caspian you are, very much a creature of structure just like a human child, you need a structured path to thrive. But you are also reckless, hardheaded and a bit irrational." Nett continued and as she said those words aloud I had to admit I wasn't entirely sure if she meant them in a good way. My head cocked slightly to the side in awkwardness but she continued, "Ahh you see tis' a good thing, you act from within from your soul, your actions are fed from your inner fire. All be it, sometimes from certain individuals that can be a very bad-catastrophic thing, very unpredictable, but from you tis' a blessing. Your not a machine like most of your kind, you have a deep sad knowledge that for long you were unaware of, but now has awoken. We are blessed indeed for your servitude. Personally Caspian, I thank you."
I was shocked beside myself, confused infinitesimally, but warmed all the way through to my core at words I had never knew I so badly wanted to hear. I was considered a blessing, I was being thanked for all I would do. Never had my father thanked me, nor had I ever heard my father speak let alone ever see him. I was always told to do, do, do. Ask nothing, I was never praised, thanked or asked to do anything. Just ordered, obedient, and compliantly silent. I felt my stomach churn in a sickening way, and I felt as if something large were rising within, up up working its way into my mouth. I felt heavy, sickened, frightened. My eyes creased in a unknown way, and my temperature seemed to actually rise. Soon so soon the sickening load within reached my mouth and I was so frightened my body jerked in response, I had never before felt this way.
Never had I lost control over my vessel, was I about to vomit? Like animals? Like humans? I felt a huge mass make its way into my mouth, and was nearly about to spill out of it, my chest heaved, and I shuddered, "Gahh!" it was a hot bubble of air but not nearly as simple as that, because it was unknown to me for I had never felt acceptance, love. I have always given love and acceptance, but never have I ever known the feelings to be meant towards me, for who I am, what I am. I was accepted, for me, and that was that. It hadn't been vomit after all but a huge explosion of relief. I was so elated, so scared, so honored that even the fact that I wasn't human, could save me from the human emotions. So raw so true that maybe they don't solely belong to just the humans, maybe they belong to all who have ever been blessed with the best thing that can exist. Love. Blessed love.
"Ah Caspian so wise so young. Just one last thing, this is important... if ever you need guidance you may ask the world of it. That is all."
I wasn't sure what the meaning of that riddle in fact was, but I needn't to think of it now, I had my path, my course before me, with a lasting look of acknowledgement, thanks, and duty I thought of the ancient hut, and within seconds I was free of the sienna plain. I inhaled heavily the inscent thickened air, filled until woozy I slowly opened my eyes. I know what my path be, but there was something of the utmost importance, or rather someone.