A black dress. A black dress that I'd promised Jack that I'd wear- but never did. It was simple, a black lace shift dress with a bow to finish it. I was going to wear that dress today, because even if he didn't get to see it when he was alive, it was good to send him off in. One of the most unfortunate coincidences about today was that it was John's third birthday. I couldn't help but regret having bought him a present in Dallas,.
I didn't bring anything back- I couldn't.
I walked downstairs, to say happy birthday to him, and to get ready for the funeral. Jackie sat in the corner, smiling as John opened the presents that he'd been given. It was an absurd sight, a woman sat in funeral clothes yet smiling at her son on his birthday. Ted and bobby stood in the corner of the room, silently drinking. Everyone was in quiet reflection, ready to set off for the procession any minute soon. Clint walked in, dressed in all black, and said "We have to go now.". I nodded, and stood up with Mrs Kennedy to begin the procession.
Thousands of people lined the streets, looking on at us, jackie's black veil covered her face. John and Caroline walked in front with Jackie, and I walked with Bobby and Ted, trying to hide my tears. The coffin was there, with his beautiful self in. It saddened me to think that just three days ago, he was alive, as alive as he'd ever been. We walked with everybody watching, a reported million people. It was a testimony to what people thought about him- he was a great man, and no one could deny it.
The most heart wrenching part of the day, was when John stepped forward to salute his father, as a final send off.
Every night until the day we moved out, we visited the grave, and prayed for Jack. On December 6th, the entire house was cleared out, all of the family living quarters, gone. I had nowhere to go, this was home, and I didn't have the money to rent anywhere. I walked into the living room, and Jackie was sat on the single stark chair that was placed in the corner. Her head was in her hands, she was obviously crying.
"Jackie?" I said, approaching her.
"Marianne, hi." She cleared her throat.
"I'm all packed up."
"Where're you going now?"
"I really don't know." I laughed, ironically. She pulled something out of her pocket, a small box.
"I think you should have this." She handed me the box, which I opened. It was a half used bottle of 4711 cologne. "I know how you always loved it."
I began to cry, I just didn't know how to respond. "Mrs Kennedy, before I leave, I just want you to know, that I'm so thankful for the past year. I really don't know what I'd be doing if it wasn't for you and your husband, you've helped me so much, thank you." As I took a step, I turned my back, and began to walk out of the room, aware that this would probably be the last time I saw her.
"Wait, can you just tell me something before you leave?" She asked.
"Anything."
"Were you with Jack? No lies."
"Yes, I'm sorry." A tear rolled down my cheek.
"It's okay, I know you wouldn't have tried to hurt me."
"Goodbye, Mrs Kennedy." I walked out of the room, that was the last time I ever saw her.
Loading my things into my car, I took a look at the White House. My wistful thoughts of the days gone by made me tear up. I shut my boot, and put the keys in the ignition.
"Goodbye, Mr President." I whispered, before I heard a knock on the window, it was Clint. In shock, I got out of the car.
"Clint!" I exclaimed "What're you doing?" He put his hands on my shoulders, and looked me straight in the eye.
"I knew from the moment I met you that you were special, and to see you leave is the saddest thing I've ever had to do. More traumatic than seeing the president get shot. Look, I'm married, I know. And I know that you were with the president. And Goddamn it I know that he only died two weeks ago, but Marianne, I love you."
I was speechless, I couldn't conceive a single word, so instead, he put his hand on my waist, and kissed me.
"I had to do that, I'm sorry." he said, when he began to walk away.
"Clint!" He turned around "I'm not ready to tell someone I love them yet, the love of my life died two weeks ago. But I have to say, if I had the strength, I'd tell you that I love you right back." And he kissed me again...