Nova
I dried my hands and went upstairs to my room. Finch was sitting on the bed staring at the wall with her focus face on. I wonder what she's thinking about.
She looked over at me when I entered the room, flopping back onto the bed with a smile and patted the spot next to her. I laid down the opposite way and smiled. The way we always lay down when we have our talks.
"What's going on Finchy?"
Her smile fell and she sighed. "I know we're not supposed to talk about it anymore but I just...I can't believe you died. I feel so wrong about it. If I hadn't pushed you to take me out it never would've happened. And that man killed you Nova. You died for me-for us. I want you to tell me what happened. Everything."
I knew she wouldn't let it go. I was hoping I wouldn't have up relive what happened so soon, but I can tell it's bothering her. I don't know how telling her about my death will bring her closure, but I guess I can tell her.
"James had two of his men hold me at gunpoint, two hold me down, and he tried to beat your location out of me. I refused to give you up, so he beat me harder. I tried to block him and fight him the best I could but I had guns and men on me and I was unarmed. I blacked out after he kicked me in the side of the head. I guess he still kept beating me anyways. But that's it. Walowski brought me back. I had six broken ribs, a pretty bad concussion, and a fractured wrist from blocking his hits. That's it okay? Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm okay now and that's all that matters."
Finch cried harder, shaking her head and moving to hold me. "It's all my fault. I ignored your instincts and almost lost you for it. I'm so sorry."
I rubbed her back as she cried into my chest, really wishing she didn't know. It's going to haunt her forever. It'll become easier with time but right now it's still fresh. Finch has always been the emotional one between us.
And I know aside from me, this past week has been worse for her out of all of us. She lost her baby, almost lost me, and she almost died too. My poor Finchy.
She went through so much and I wasn't there to be there for her.
But at least I am now.
She pulled away and wiped her tears, giving me a small smile. And then she looked at me curiously.
"You have something else you want to tell me, don't you?"
I really didn't want to tell her, but I did owe it to her. Finn knows, it's only fair that she does too. Because she'll finally understand my pain. I just hope it doesn't hurt her too much.
I went to talk but there was a knock on my door. "Come in!" I called out, not liking that we were disturbed.
Tommy came in with two bottles of wine and a bowl of popcorn, setting them down on the bed with a bottle opener right between us with a smile.
"Enjoy ladies." He swept out of the room just as fast as he came in, quietly closing the door behind himself.
"Wait first before we get all emotional, I want to know why you were smiling so big when you and Finn got back?"
I blushed slightly, wanting to tell her all about it. But that would involve coming clean about my own miscarriage, and I wasn't ready to cry again yet.
"How about we talk about how you're feeling first? Is your wound okay?"
She nodded, lifting her shirt and showing it to me. It wasn't as angry looking as it was before, but it still looked like it hurt. "Walowski said I should be healed in another week or two. He put this really cold cream on it that numbed it so I don't even feel anything. It only hurts when I bend over. What about you? Let me see your battle scars."
I hesitated because I knew it would upset her. But I also knew she'd end up hurting herself trying to force it out of me. I stood up with a sigh and lifted my shirt, showing her my new stab wound.
"Wow. So close to the other one too. Stab wound?" She asked. I nodded.
"How do your ribs feel?" She asked next, running her fingers over all of my new scars.
"Fine. They don't hurt too much."
Finch frowned deeper as she touched the scar on my cheek.
"He beat you up pretty good, didn't he?"
I don't lie to Finch-ever-so I just nodded. I couldn't find the words anyways.
"I talked with Walowski this morning. He told me he figured out how you're immune. It's in your blood. That's why my eyes changed. I don't have the super healing or strength or anything like you have, but he thinks I'm immune now too. We haven't tried to test out the theory or anything yet, but your blood is definitely the cure. He thinks he can make a vaccine with the right help. What's the plan? We need to get to Australia soon. Tommy said we can sail in about three weeks. Five to be safe."
I went over to my bag and pulled out the notes I had made while captive and lied back down next to her.
"Tomorrow I'm going to butcher up one of the cows so we have a good amount of protein for the sail. We need to get a generator for our aunt's house, and lots of gasoline. We also need a good amount of supplies too. Water bottles, a portable stove, and propane. Non-perishables. Warm clothes, cold clothes. We need a lot. You'll be on bed rest still so you, Tommy, and Rudy will be watching over the kids. The rest of us will have to gather what we can and hope we can get everything in time for the sail.
"Whatever we don't get we can stop off in Hawaii and try to gather. But I think we should leave the day after tomorrow and get out of Colorado and away from Kane's men. I don't want them to retaliate. So these next couple days are going to be busy. We have to pack and organize everything into the truck and the jeep.
"We should leave pretty early in the morning too. It's about a day's drive from here so if we switch drivers we shouldn't have to stop. We'll gather supplies around our aunt's but try to keep our heads down until we leave. You're not leaving the house unless it's to walk to the boat."
Finch smiled slightly and took another sip of wine, nodding her head. "Yeah I don't really feel like having another near death experience. I'll stay in. Besides, Shasta and Ben are a lot of fun anyways they'll keep me entertained. Now. Tell me what happened today with Finn."
I sighed, knowing she wouldn't let it go. "Finn and I talked about our future. About getting married and having kids. The dude wants four kids. But he said I can name two of them after what Grayson wanted to name our future kids as long as he gets a Finnley Jr."
"Four kids? Jeez Nova. I'm sure you can handle it though. You make taking care of Shasta look so easy. And Finn is a really good dad too. You guys can do it."
I smiled slightly, thinking about how big our family will be. Animals and kids running all over the place, Finn and I still madly in love and happy.
Yeah, that future sounds nice.
"Now what are you hiding from me?"
I sighed again, knowing it was time to tell her. I felt bad Finn found out first, but I swore I'd never tell Finch because I didn't want to upset her. She loved Grayson. And knowing I lost our baby would hurt her too and we had enough going on she didn't need that weight on her as well. I always said I'd tell her when the time was right, so I guess that time is now.
"I let go of Grayson today. I sent our picture down the river telling him that I was sorry that...that I lost him. But I told him I found someone new, someone good. And that he was going to take care of me now. And that you were right. That he'd want me to move on and be happy. And that I'm finally moving on. And that..." I trailed off, swallowing the pit in my throat.
"That what Nova? Talk to me. You tell me everything. What's going on?"
I wiped away the tear that fell, annoyed with how many times I've cried today. Hopefully this would be the last cry for a while.
"Do you remember how sick I got after I got bit?"
She nodded, leaning over to wipe away a tear.
"And how I died for ten minutes-once again-and for a few days after that I wasn't right?"
She nodded, tearing up again. "Scariest moment of my life. It took me forever to resuscitate you. And yeah, you died No. That would bend anybody out of shape."
I bit my lip, holding back the sobs that desperately tried to break though. "I miscarried Finch. I lost Grayson's baby. I'm sorry I told Finn before you, but I could never find the words to tell you. I knew it would hurt you and we had enough going on with the outbreak-You were...pregnant?" She gasped, her eyes going wide.
I nodded, feeling more tears fall. "Yes. I was."
"So all that blood...why didn't you tell me? Nova that's so much to bear on your own. You should've told me."
I let the sobs out and held onto Finch as I cried. "I didn't want it to be true. I lost the last piece of him that I had. I couldn't handle it. I lost him and our baby in barely two days. I just...talking about it would've made it so much more real. I just couldn't do it."
Finch ran her hand over my hair and kissed the top of my head.
"It's okay Nova. Like you said with me it just wasn't the right time. It'll happen again when it's the right time. You and Finn are gonna have a bunch of kids to make up for the one you lost. But you should've told me. Even with what was going on I would've been there for you. That's what best friends are for." Finch cried too, touching her stomach and then mine.
"We're gonna both have kids some day. To make up for the ones we both lost. And then everything will be okay."
We both held each other and cried. For a while too. We apologized to each other a bunch of times, and cried some more. When we finally stopped, we just laid there and calmed down.
"Damn. We haven't had a good cry like that in a while."
I blew my nose, passing her the box of tissues.
"Yeah I know. Damn. To good cries and good times!" I said with a chuckle, lifting up my wine bottle.
We clinked our bottles together and started chugging. We both pulled our bottles away at the same time and released loud burps, giggling at each other. I felt okay now. I did the last thing I needed to do, and now I really could move on. I was okay. And I'd be okay.
"Thank you for telling me. And like you said to me it just wasn't the right time. When it's the right time it'll happen again, and this time it will be with Finn's baby. And we'll be safe. That would be one cute baby too. Cause let's be real Finn is one handsome dude."
I chuckled to myself, nodding my head. He definitely was. Our kids would be adorable.
"Finn and I had a lot of talks today. He even agreed to naming our kids after what Grayson wanted to name our kids if we had any." I told her, smiling even bigger. How did I get so lucky?
"How many kids are we talking here? I know you said four but are you okay with that? Cause you already have Shasta. So you want three more?"
I smiled even bigger, feeling my face go slightly red. "I want Finn to be happy. And that would make him happy."
Finch looked at me with wide eyes and then started laughing pretty hard. "Girl. I was gonna say you're crazy but we both know you are. But four? Are you sure? That's a lot of responsibility."
I shrugged, okay with it. Like Finn said, if we could take on the zombie apocalypse, we could take on four kids. "It won't be easy but if a big family is what would make Finn truly happy, then four it is."
Finch laughed at me and then gave me a soft smile. "I'm glad you found someone. I thought you were never going to get over Grayson. But Finn...Now that's a good man. I know you don't feel like you deserve him, but I can't think of someone who deserves him more. He's so good Nova. Inside and out. And he loves you so much. Almost too much. You should've seen him without you. It made me hurt even more seeing him so lost. We were all so lost without you. Especially him."
And without Walowski I never would've seen them again. I'd have to properly thank him again later.
"I'm not going anywhere ever again. I promise."
Finch nodded and sighed, hugging me again.
"Finn really is amazing. I'm glad he didn't give up on me in the beginning. I don't know why he liked me so much I wasn't very nice to him. Or any of them."
I really didn't feel like I deserved Finn, but I love him too much to let him go. I'm glad he didn't give up on me.
"Because you don't see how amazing you are. You're so hard on yourself all the time. You only see your bad qualities, none of the good. But with Finn...he's different. That's all he sees. And I'm glad he does and because of him, now that's all you're starting to see it too. I thought you were happy with Grayson but with Finn? You're glowing. I don't think I've ever seen you this happy in your whole entire life."
Finch wasn't wrong.
Grayson made me happy, he really did. But Finn made me feel so different-so alive. He challenged me. He made me see reason when I didn't want to. He opened my eyes to things I didn't want to see. Grayson never challenged me the way Finn did. Grayson always agreed with everything I said. His form of love was just accepting the way I was and never fighting it.
But with Finn? When I was in the wrong, he didn't just agree with me so I'd calm down. He told me why I was wrong and fought with me until I saw reason. He didn't back down and agree with me to calm me down-he showed me the better way.
And I didn't feel like I deserved that at first.
But the closer Finn and I grew, the more I realized he was the best thing for me. He helped me see the good, when all I saw was the bad. And to this day I still feel like I don't deserve him, but I'm too selfish to let him go.
He loves me completely-the good and the bad. And even though I didn't think I deserved it, I know after everything I've seen and done, I do deserve some good. And Finn...well all he is is good. Inside and out. And after feeling so dark and empty for so long, it felt great to have some light. And I never wanted to lose that light. I never wanted to lose him.
"Damn. You are in love. I mention Finn and you space out for like ten minutes with a stupid smile on your face. It's weird seeing you all mushy for someone."
I rolled my eyes at Finch, trying not to smile.
But she was right.
I'm definitely in love with that giant idiot.
But he's my idiot.
And I wouldn't change it for the world.
"Alright it's been about two hours. Gotta get you ready."
My brows came together as Finch stood, quickly shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth before leaving the room. She popped her head back in and told me to stay put before leaving again.
So I did.
I wonder what she's doing.
"Close your eyes." She ordered through the now cracked door, waiting until I obliged before entering the room.
I heard her shuffle through my drawers for a while before saying "Yes!" and throwing a bunch of stuff at me.
I opened my eyes when she told me to and looked down, seeing a set of white lingerie, my good butt jeans, and my leather jacket.
"Ready for the best part?" She asked excitedly, something still hiding behind her back.
"Ready for what?" I asked, trying to peek around her.
"Bitch I asked if you were ready?"
I rolled my eyes and nodded, wanting to know what she was doing. She pulled a shirt from behind her back and it wasn't just any shirt-It was the red shirt I've been begging her for. It was a long sleeve crimson red shirt with a layer of lace over it. It cut deep in front, was off the shoulders, and had slits up the sides as well.
I fucking love that shirt.
Even if it's a bit too girly for me.
"Even though you lost our bet I think you've earned it."
I absolutely loved that shirt. I've wanted it for so long and she refused to give it to me. Even though I lost our bet she is.
I'm glad I lost the bet though.
I really am.
But what's the occasion?
Wait...She had to talk to me. She timed it. And now she's getting me dressed up?
Did Finn plan something?
I was supposed to plan something.
Well I won't lie. I'm a little excited.
I wonder what he has planned for us.
I hugged Finch and then put it on, turning around to look at myself in the mirror.
It did look as good as I thought it would.
The shirt was finally mine! Yes!
"Take your hair down. You know Finn likes it down. Hurry up it's almost time!"
I don't normally like surprises, but I had a feeling I was about to like this one. Finch curled my hair and applied some makeup to my face. I don't like makeup, but she's so excited for me I'm letting her do it. I never wear makeup. I don't like it. But I guess this is a special occasion so I can let it go.
"This is the last thing and then I'm supposed to walk you to the fence at the end of the property. Finn said you'd know where to go from there."
So we're going back to my special place.
Now I'm really excited.
Finch put some red lipstick on me, even though I told her I didn't want it. But when I looked at my reflection I knew she was right to do it. It matched the red top perfectly and pulled the whole get up together. I looked really pretty. Not that whole "brand new person" spiel girls always give in books but I did look good. Hopefully Finn likes it.
"Damn. You look hotter than me!" Finch teased, pulling my bangs back and pinning them to the side.
"Shut up Finch." I told her with a laugh, looking at myself one more time.
I did look really nice. A little too done up for me but fuck it. It's my first real date with Finn. I can look good.
As I slid on my other boot Finch squealed when there was a knock on my door.
"Come in!" Finch called out, giving me an excited look.
"Hey guys. Ready to take a walk?" Tommy asked, offering both of us an arm.
"Ready!" I cheered, really excited now.
"Okay let's start walking."
We looped our arms through Tommy's with a smile and we started walking. I was beaming a huge smile the whole time. I can't wait to see what he has planned for us.
"I'm happy you're happy. It's nice to see you really smiling when all you usually do is glare." Finch teased as we walked.
"I don't usually have this much to be happy about." I told her, meaning it.
It may be the Zombie Apocalypse, but I was really happy. My group made me happy, they did. And I've always loved Finch more than anyone in the world. But with Finn it's different. The fire I feel inside me every time I look at him can't compare to anything else. I really did love that man. And I would spend the rest of my life trying to be the woman he deserved. Because Finn deserves the best, he really does. And hopefully I can give it to him.
"Never seen my best friend so happy either. Thank you for giving him a chance Nova." Tommy added in, my smile growing.
More like I'm thankful for him giving me a chance.
"The last thing I can tell you is you have to put this on before you walk through the bushes. We'll leave you from here. Have fun Nova. I'm glad you're home."
I hugged Finch and took the bandana before walking towards my-our special place.
I pretty much ran the whole way, wanting to get there as fast as possible. With my speed I made it in about ten minutes. I could see lights glowing through the bushes and stopped to put on the bandana with a smile.
"I'm coming through!" I told him, taking a deep breath before walking through the bushes.