"She is fighting with herself... She is confused, scared and desperate but in the end her heart shows the right way, the one she was supposed to follow from the beginning. This way leads straight to HIM!"
~Diana's room~
Diana's pov
I touch the crock of my neck with the top of my fingers and my eyes locked on my figure at the big mirror. My skin starts shuddering again, my breath gets cut, my heartbeat becomes fast and strong and I blush again, I feel like I have fever.
My feet are shaking so much that it's like I am about to collapse on the cold floor, my stomach is like it's full of butterflies and my lips...
God my lips feel so sore and their color seems much darker than the usual!
It has been hours and I still feel the same, it's like we are still kissing, I can't stop the feeling!
Shit!
Why did I have to do it? Why did I kiss him back?
Fuck you Daniel, fuck your wolf and fuck the idiot bond and my stupid body!
Believe it or not I never realized when he crashed his lips on mine and when we began kissing. It happened so naturally, so suddenly that I don't know how I did it!
My mind has stuck on that moment since then and it has been more than six hours, I am getting crazy!
I feel his lips on mine, I feel his hands wrapped around me, my back touching the cold wall, I even feel his heartbeat, his hot breath... I may not be able to smell him as Destiny is not present and I can't smell like before but I swear I can take his scent, this strong, imposing and drowning caramel and damn he tasted so good!
I know, I am an idiot, I admit it but I don't know what has gotten into me since then. I felt like that for the first time in my entire life, I felt so wanted, so intense, so much desire and passion that right now I am scared till death.
Am I falling in love with the asshole?
Can it be?
I mean... He is acting like he cares the last days even if I am not admitting it. He surely feels the bond like I do and he keeps his distance from me for a reason I can't understand until now but this changed today because of his wolf.
Devon...
I wanted to kill him, he pushed me up to my limits with his over possessiveness and if I may say arrogance but now that I am thinking of it I suppose I understand him somehow.
He is the Alpha King, he has stronger and wilder instincts when it comes to what is 'his', not that I am after his rejection but the bond still exists for an unknown reason! He took back his rejection two days ago and with this everything began changing, I am changing, I am softening and how can't I when he is doing all these things for me?
He even had the guts to call my father and inform him about everything! He wants me to be the calmest I can, he wants to take care of me, he certainly feels bad for what happened to me, he blames himself for not having an eye on that bitch, he is acting like another man and...
I suppose I am confused!
From the one hand it felt so great to be in his arms, so natural, so familiar and my heart and body loved every single thing those minutes that we were so close but at the same time my mind is telling me that I can't trust him and I can't show him more love than I showed to Grayson!
He still doesn't deserve it and I don't think that he will ever do...
Maybe I see things with more understanding and hope than the usual because of everything that has been happening lately. I am softening and this is not in favor of me but of...
"Diana open your door!" my aunt shouts knocking my room's door and bringing me back to reality.
I jump up out of breath and sigh.
My hands travel on my chest, above my heart and I look myself at the mirror one more time. I am red from embarrassment and desire...
I take a deep breath and get out of the bathroom in hurry. I rush to open my door and I pause a bit before I unlock it. I am nervous.
I don't know how to face anyone, I feel so lost.
"Sweetheart open to me, I am worried here!" I listen to her saying and this is what I need to finally unlock the door and open it timidly.
My puffy eyes meet her worried ones and she gives me a sympathetic smile, like she knows.
I take some steps back and make way for her to get in but I freeze when she hands me a big, breathtaking bouquet or white roses and lilies. I instantly know from whom it is and I can't hide my mixed feelings, I love it, I feel relieved but at the same time I am terrified.
I take the bouquet with shaking hands and she gets in and closes the door again. I walk back to my bed and sit in the middle of it. My eyes land on the small card and I place the bouquet next to me. I sigh as my aunt sits opposite of me and I take the small card slowly like I am afraid of what I am about to read.
"Auntie..." I whisper with a trembling voice that bearably gets out of my throat and lift my eyes to look at her.
She has tears on her eyes, she is touched or something or she is having sympathy for me, not that she knows what happened, I told no one yet. I locked myself in my room and I told everyone to leave me alone and Daniel...
Well...
"Is it from him?" she asks me softly and I nod before I even get sure.
I open the card and take a deep breath, I fight with some tears that want to fall from my eyes and gain every strength I have left.
'I am sorry for not keeping my wolf under control. We have been being scared of losing you but it won't happen again!
Yours, Daniel..."
I break into sobbing the second I am done reading with my eyes never leaving the last sentence and I feel my aunt wrapping her arms around me and pulling me in her embrace.
Why do I have to feel like this?
"Baby what is it?" she asks me gently while caressing my back.
"It hurts like hell!" I whisper through my sobs and bury my face in her neck.
Why is he doing this?
He keeps on confusing me, it's like we are playing and I know he was right back in his office, I am playing him somehow but he does the same, he is not clear with me, he says nothing but I guess he shows me things that I keep on denying to see.
"Do you want to tell me what happened between you two when you stayed alone?" she asks me after some time of leaving me sob and I pull back nodding while wiping my tears.
"You know I can help, you will feel better!" she adds with a sweet smile and makes me melt.
I sniffle and look at the card that I am still holding in my hands one more time. I am sure she has taken Daniel scent, I didn't want to take a bath and get rid of his scent, I am freaking out, right?
"We... Kissed." I say in the lowest tone there is but it is enough for her to listen and gasp in excitement.
I observe her features and giggle melancholically, I love her expression... Her eyes and mouth are widely open, she has placed her hands on her mouth in order not to scream and her skin is shining. She is adorable!
"Did I hear correctly? You two kissed?" she repeats breathless and I nod nervously.
"Well... It was his wolf, Devon. He took control over Daniel when I wanted to leave but I guess it is the same and..."
I pause and sigh. I leave my head fall back and I shake it in frustration. I remember the whole scene again and I can't stop my body that starts shaking for one more time.
"Diana... Your neck is..." she trembles and I quickly lower my head and leave the card on the bouquet.
I bury my face in hands and shake my head in desperation, it is killing me!
"I tried to get away from him, I got panicked, he wasn't letting me go and then he said that I can't run away from him. He is already inside me and we both know it, that's what he said and the proof is this." I explain and point my aroused, darker pink skin at the place where he sucked me.
"Baby... You..."
"Yes, I allowed him to kiss my neck and more than that... I couldn't resist and then I felt his canines, I got panicked of him marking me, I pushed him, I tried to leave, he didn't let me again and we end up kissing each other!" I say in hurry preventing her from saying anything and she smiles in enthusiasm.
I wish I was having her spirit...
"That's why you smell like him!" she exclaims after some seconds and I force a smile in agreement.
"Wait! If you two kissed each other then why are you locked in here and why Daniel..."
"Left!" I end her phrase and she nods with a blank expression.
"After some time I gained my mind and I bitted his lower lip, he left me, I found the opportunity and stormed out of his office. He didn't react, I suppose that he was too lost to run after me, his lip was bleeding and it took me time to overpass the first shock so imagine him." I reply quickly.
"And how do you know that he left the palace? You are locked in here for hours, I know that you talked to no one! We have been worried about you two."
"I saw him from my window. I wanted to get some air, I was about to open it when I saw him running to the forest." I explain and lower my gaze.
"I see..." is all she says and this is not what I was hoping for.
"Is he still missing?" I ask her with a wary I didn't know I would have for him and she cups my face gently.
"Yes sweetheart! I am sorry. All I found was this bouquet. He must have left it before his runaway. He told no one what happened, he is blocking his friends and parents till now. We have no clue where he is."
I close my eyes again and feel some hot tears falling, my heart is in so much pain that it makes it hard for me to breathe.
This is my fault, I reacted too badly, I acted like I hate him and what happened and he was already awful. I am not so worried for Devon but for Daniel.
"I broke his heart and I had never thought that he has one... I am an awful person, I was never like this!" I say and try to prevent myself from sobbing again.
"Diana!" my aunt says seriously and forces me to look right into her eyes that are darker now.
"Stop thinking so much because you are ruining your life like this! You are a difficult woman baby, you are too smart and you keep on analyzing everything! Life is not only following your logic! Listen to your heart, see in the other's eyes, try to forgive, try to live! Look what is happening! You kissed him back, you loved it and don't you dare tell me you didn't and now you are heartbroken and so is Daniel! His wolf or not doesn't matter because they both love you, it is obvious! Give an opportunity!" she says with encouragement.
"I can't forget the past so easily! I want to but I can't, not yet! I had been suffering for five fucking years, I lost Grayson because of him and..."
"No Diana! Enough with this!" she shouts cutting me off.
"You keep on accusing him for something that is not his fault! It never was! Grayson died because he was careless and too angry to think that he was passing by a road with heavy traffic! He put your life in danger and he saved you the last second but this was never Daniel's fault! It was Grayson's! You know how much I love Grayson but we can't hide the truth or deny it anymore!"she shouts making me gasp and pull back and out of her hold.
I stay speechless staring at her in the eyes and for the first time I am not that mad from her words, I mean she was always the one that was telling me that his death was his own fault but I was too angry to listen to her. I was ending up in the forest every time, I wanted to be away from her but this time...
I don't know why I am thinking of what she just told me for once more with understanding.
Fuck my life!
"Sweetheart listen to me for once, okay? Just let me give you some advice." She continues softly and I can do nothing else than nod timidly.
"Take your time, I am not telling you to accept Daniel but give you two some time. It is still too recent and you are both confused. Don't be so negative, I saw your behavior at the living room and I was shocked, you were not the sweet, kind girl I know. You put your cold mask and you made him feel even worse. He saved your life Diana, he wants the best for you, he is worried, he was brave enough to face your father, he took back his rejection and your bond is getting stronger so as you understand you have lots of reason to soften a bit. Why are you pushing him away so desperately?"
"I..." I whisper and sigh exhausted.
"I am scared of him hurting me again and I still can't forget. And moreover I feel guilty, it's like I am betraying Grayson! He loved me aunt, he brought me back to life when the only thing Daniel did was rejecting me without even giving me a chance! When he kissed me I felt things I had never felt or imagined before. I felt lust, passion, desperation and thirst for more! With Grayson this never happened and it's like I am ungrateful to him."
She shakes her head thoughtfully in understanding but clears her throat getting ready to say more. I stiffen nervously and perk my ears as her opinion really counts for me and I need it more than anything, she knows everything anyway and she can think more clearly.
"You are confusing yourself with two completely different situations here. With Grayson things couldn't be so wild and passionate because you were too weak, too young and scared, you were recovering physically, mentally and psychologically. Grayson was way too careful and patient, no one wanted to pressure you. With him you felt love, affection and so many other things, you would have felt passion but later. With Daniel is something more... Completed! You are old enough, you have lived and seen a lot, you are more confident, stronger and your instincts are helping you from the moment you shifted! Don't forget that he is your first mate after all, he is the King, everything that has to do with him is more intense than with anyone else and your wolf is one more factor you can't ignore. Destiny can have a mate with Daniel. With Grayson she felt safety but it would have never been the same as with Devon! She needs someone like you do Diana! I think that these factors are more than enough to stop feeling guilty!"
I stare at her for some seconds in silence thinking of her words and she sighs tiredly.
I have to say that she sounds way too logical, everything makes perfect sense and I have to admit it. Destiny has already told me that she wants someone and when I met Grayson I was still in a weird, difficult condition, now I am more ready for everything...
"What are you thinking of baby?" she suddenly asks me and I lower my head .
My right hand travels on the beautiful bouquet and I instinctually take one white rose from it and bring it close to my nose. I admire it for a while and smile emotionally. I take his scent with a big, deep breath and close my eyes.
"I am scared of being hurt again. This time I don't think I will bare it." I whisper with my eyes still closed and sigh nervously.
"Open your eyes and observe the rose you are holding..." she says immediately and I blink my eyes confused.
She points me the rose again and I do as she says more troubled than before. Its stem has no thorns and to be more specific as I can see it had but someone cut and removed them.
"He was careful enough to have them cut... He didn't want to you get hurt from them. So?" she says smiling warmly.
"So he... Will be careful not to hurt me?! That's what you are trying to say?" I reply with a bit disbelief.
"That he will do anything he can to prevent you from suffering again. He is desperate Diana. He needs you, he is in love."
I look again the rose and bite my lower lip thoughtfully. My aunt had always a calming effect on me, her words were wise and helpful and nothing has changed until now. I am thinking seriously her words and I can say I find her too logical.
Well Diana, she may be right but it is easy to say it than really believe it. What if your fears are bigger than him, his tries, his ways, you, you and him both?!
And what if I am not enough and he can't see it right now? I mean...
"Aunt... He rejected me without giving me a second chance, he didn't like me back then, he never cared. I am not what he wants, I am nothing special. Do you remember what he told me the first day he saw me some weeks ago? He didn't recognize me as a woman, he... I don't know what to say." I murmur in frustration with a big doze of desperation and she narrows her eyes angrily.
"You know you are overreacting now, right? Cut the bullshit because we both know he likes you like crazy and you are by far one of the prettiest women there are. Why do you doubt yourself so suddenly? Where is the strong, confident woman I know, the one that knows her value and believes in her no matter what? You have nothing to prove and especially to your mate! He fell in love with you and this cannot change anymore! Love is filling you with insecurities and fears you never had, don't allow your past to ruin your future!" she scolds me and I nod innocently.
You agree with her as well, don't you?
"And what do I do now? I pushed him away with my reaction!" I ask her worried and she smirks immediately.
"Follow your heart, just try to soften a bit. I am not saying to fall on your knees and beg him but when he makes a move try to be more open, begin with a small chat at the beginning, have some fun with him and your friends and you will see. What do you say?"
I look at her for a while and my mind starts running like a flash. Can I give it a try? With someone else on my side I think I can make it, I can spend some time with him and get to know him better.
"Alright, I am going to try!" I finally state and she pulls me in her arms the next second laughing loudly.
I hope I am not that late and he is still willing to try... And let's see how Destiny is going to react because after he slept with Samantha and she got so hurt she hated him or at least I think so... Maybe now she will change her mind, right?
I get ready to thank my aunt for her advice and support when I listen to some voices and screams from outside and I perk my ears surprised. They are not from the hall, I think they are from the garden but why?
"Quickly! Hurry! Do not let him wait!" Landon's voice sounds and my heart instantly aches in pain as the fear appears too suddenly.
"Daniel!" I shout and jump up breaking the hug with my aunt.
I run to the balcony's door with the rose still on my right hand and get ready to open it with my aunt already behind me when Victoria gets in my room without knocking with an expression full of tension.
"What happened to him?" I ask her breathless.
"Nothing honey, calm down! He took some unfamiliar scents, we suppose from rogues and he asked some trackers and fighters, he wants to make a good search and get sure that we have no one in the kingdom's territory." She replies immediately and closes the door behind her.
Shit!
"And why are you here? I mean, are you sure he is alright?" I ask her again and she smiles in sympathy.
She walks to me quickly and my aunt comes on my side. Victoria reaches me and cups my face gently with a sweet, calm smile I can't understand and my aunt caresses my back.
Why on earth aren't they freaking out?
"I came because I knew you would be worried and I didn't want to leave you uninformed. I know baby, it is hard for you but don't worry, he is going to be fine!" Victoria finally says and I narrow my eyes still confused.
"Victoria, he is alone! We have to go and find him!" I protest and make a try to leave but they both stop me.
"Honey, they are already going to find him, he is not so far away and he is strong. I can't blame you, you have never seen him fighting. Believe me, Daniel is the strongest, fastest and best warrior there is. He has it in his blood, he got trained from the best. He can deal with more than 20 wolves on his own. He is going to be alright!" she continues while caressing my hot cheeks and I sigh nervously.
I hope she is right!
"He wouldn't want you to worry in your condition! Calm down, okay baby?" she says softly and I bite my lip again.
"Fine, you won..." I whisper weakly and take a step back, get free from their hold and turn again to the balcony's door.
This time I open it quickly and set my bare feet on the cold, wet floor. A small breeze hits my face and I sigh. I feel my skin shuddering from the cold weather and my body starts shaking. I hadn't realized I was cold all this time, I have only a sleeveless top with no jacket and the fact that I don't have Destiny makes me vulnerable to everything like I am a normal human.
I lock my eyes on the dark, thick forest and distinguish some rain drops falling timidly. It is going to rain again...
I am tired of this rain, it scares me after what happened and imagine that for about two days the weather had gotten better...
Now we start all over again!
"You are going to catch a cold sweetheart!" my aunt whispers and covers me with a small, soft, dark blue blanket.
"Are you alright? What are you thinking of?" Victoria asks me stepping next to me.
"Um... Him!" I whisper shyly with concern and they both smirk in understanding.
"Could you please leave me alone for a while? I will be right back, I just need a second." I tell them with a forced smile and they nod immediately.
I watch them with the corner of my eye turning and getting in. Victoria closes a bit the door giving me some more privacy and I bring the rose close to my nose for once more.
It smells amazing and it is beautiful, like he cut it some minutes ago. I guess I will need one more vase to put this bouquet in with some water. I already have the previous one on the right bedside table and now I will have this on the left as well!
I will never leave this one although, I will have in next to me on my pillow, I feel him through it.
I bring it closer to my lips slowly and kiss it gently, I bearably touch its petals but a wave of pleasant energy consumes my body.
I smile emotionally and take one more deep breath fighting to push away my fears. I want him to be alright!
"Just come back Daniel, I won't bear your loss! I can't leave the same nightmare again, I need you!" I whisper with my eyes still locked on the forest in front of me and the rain gets stronger.
"You may had been an asshole but... You are mine, 'asshole'!"
****************************
Hello my friends!!!
The 18th chapter is on and things changed a bit because the writer is in love and there is no much time for writing. I wanted to make a very big chapter as always but what can I say? I met the one I was waiting for and these days is difficult for me to write as much as I wanted. So, I decided to have a part one and past two with Diana's in this one and Daniel's pov in the next chapter! I hope you understand my condition!
Also you can go and find me in Dreame with the same name and photo.
And now back to our story as I really want to know your thoughts and opinions! How do feel about this chapter? How do you feel about Daniel and Diana? What is going to happen next? Are they going to get closer?
As always at this point I would like to thank you very much for your love, support, commends and impatience in order to read the chapters. The book has reached about 3.030 views, I am grateful. I am trying my best so continue showing me how much you want more and:
1) Vote,
2) Commend and tell me your opinions and thoughts, or
3) Share the story.
This is it for this week, see you again in the next chapter. Be safe and happy until next time!
I love you all,
Marie...