Suddenly Kennys eyes shot open, and he took a large gulp of air that made him break out in a coughing fit. He desperately tried catching his breath, tears pouring from his tired eyes as memories of his latest death flooded back to him. He pressed his palms to his face, sobbing into them and soaking them with snot and tears, but he couldn't care less. He couldn't do this anymore, he was tired of the endless loop of pain and no one even remembering. It was like they didn't care and it made him feel like nothing to them. He remembered how calm Kyle had been when he had watched him drowning and he couldn't hold it in anymore, sitting up abruptly and screaming out loud into the darkness of his room. He gripped his sheets and yelled and screeched until his throat was raw and his lungs were aching, all the while letting tears stain his cheeks. " FUCK! " He let out with one final yell, then let his head fall into his hands. He tiredly looked towards the small light glowing on his bedside table, and watched as his phone vibrated. When the light from the screen turned off and the noise stopped, he sighed sadly, and picked it up.
20 MISSED CALLS
He ran his fingers through his messy hair, now damp with sweat and tears. Suddenly it began to vibrate again, and a photo of a smiling blonde boy popped onto the screen. A smile managed to tug at kennys lips as he saw the picture, and he wiped his eyes on his sleeve weakly. He debated just letting the phone go to voicemail, but he decided against it, sucking in a deep breath and answering. " Hey Leo.. " His voice was hoarse from the screaming but he tried his best to make himself sound happy. " Ken! " A high pitched voice sung back at him, somehow managing to make him feel a little better. " Im so sorry, I know its late but I.. I just really needed to make sure you're ok. " The small boy chirped, concern thick in his tone. " Im fine Butterfly, go back to sleep" Kenny said as he forced a smile, trying his best not to drag Butters into his problems. Butters replied softly and carefully. " Ken.. I know you. And I know that you're not fine. Im not going anywhere until you're-" "- I SAID IM FINE LEO" Kenny interrupted suddenly, making Butters heart rise to his throat, afraid he had made things worse. " Im.. Im sorry Butters.. I just.. " Kenny began, before breaking down into tears again. " Butters I can't do this anymore.. I" Kennys sobs echoed through the phone and Leos own eyes began to tear up. He remained quiet though, and only small shuffling noises played back at the crying boy. Kenny let the phone slip out of his hands as he curled into a ball and buried his face, silently crying to himself. A knock at his door made him look up, wiping his eyes groggily. They were red and puffy by now, but he figured that anyone that is knocking on doors this late wouldn't care. He trudged out of his room, pulling the door open slowly. He was taken aback when he two small arms instantly wrapped around his waist, but when the familiar smell of vanilla and strawberries filled his nose he relaxed his muscles and hugged back tightly, burying his face in fluffy hair. " I'm here buddy" Leo said softly, stroking circles into Kennys back gently, sending a wave of comfort through him. The hug wouldn't fix what Kenny was going through, but damn did he need it right now. When they finally pulled away, Butters stared sadly at the tear stains on his friends cheeks. He held up a soft hand and ran his fingertips slowly along the freckled skin, his eyes softening slightly when Kenny leaned into his touch. A light blush crept along his own cheeks when he met Kennys eyes, suddenly aware of what he was doing and retracting his hand quickly. Kenny chuckled weakly, the sound foreign in his own mouth. " Oh! I nearly forgot! " Butters said excitedly, changing the mood. He bent over and picked up two to go cups from Tweek Bros, handing one to a confused Kenny before picking up a brown paper bag. Kenny raised an eyebrow at the smiling boy. " When you left early at Starks pond today I figured something was up.. So I baked you some cookies for you, and then when I was on my way here I walked past Tweek bros and.. And I know you really like their new hot chocolate... And I uh.. " Butters began to trail off, losing confidence in the idea, it only just hitting him how weird it was for him to come over this late uninvited. " Sorry for being weird I just.. I thought you could use a friend right now" Leo finished, chewing his lip nervously and looking up at ocean blue eyes. Kenny's eyes welled up with tears, making Butters flinch and panic, afraid he did something wrong. " Thank you Leo... It uh. This really means a lot. Like you have no idea. " He smiled widely, showing dimples that made Leos heart flutter. Kenny took a sip of the hot chocolate, his smile widening further when he noticed that Butters had remembered that he likes cinnamon in the chocolatey drink. Butters was watching with a dorky grin spread across his face, entranced by the smiling blondes beauty. " You wanna go for a walk? Might help clear my head. " Kenny said softly, a cloud of white steam coming from his lips from the cold air. " Oh geez! You must be freezing Ken! Sorry I made you stand in the doorway so long! " Leo apologized, suddenly snapping out of his daze. " Nah i'm good, to be fair my house is probably the same temperature inside. " Kenny chuckled, rubbing his neck nervously. " Yea I remember" Butters said with a shiver, before pulling off his scarf and revealing its full size. " Which is why I brought this! " He said, holding the blanket sized accessory in front of him proudly. Kenny smiled, grabbing his parka from the hanger before shutting the door behind him. They walked out onto the street, puddles from earliers rain scattering amber light across the concrete like stars. "Its so pretty tonight" Butters remarked as he draped his scarf over Kenny and himself, forcing them to walk shoulder to shoulder. " Huh.. I guess I hadn't really noticed" Kenny said as he looked up at the cloudless sky, scattered with little white dots of light. " It's funny what you dont notice until someone points it out. " As soon as Kenny said this Leos eyes widened and a blush covered his nose. He was remembering earlier, when Eric had made fun of him for so obviously crushing on the orange hooded boy. He shook the thoughts out of his mind, humming in agreement with his friend. He sipped his own drink, hissing when the hot liquid burnt his tongue. " Woah you okay Buttercup? " Kenny asked concerned, turning his head to look at him as they walked. " Yea I burnt my tongue" Butters stuck his tongue out in an effort to cool it, making Kenny smile at his cuteness. " You're adorable dude" He grinned, wrapping an arm around him under the scarf and making Butters tense up slightly, blushing profusely. " Hey look where we ended up" Kenny said as he realised that they were now at Starks pond. Butters gulped his drink, too flustered to respond. They sat on a bench by the water, and Butters put his knees up to his chest against the cold. Kenny noticed this, and wrapped the scarf further around the small boy, pulling him closer. " Thanks for coming out here Leo I uh.. I really appreciate it. " Kenny smiled, looking out at the lake. " Butters looked up at his twinkling eyes, then down to the hand wrapped around him. He had a strong and sudden urge to lace their fingers together, but remembered the bag of cookies he was holding. " Oh yea! Cookies! " He said happily, opening the bag and taking one out for Kenny. Kenny looked at the homemade cookie in awe, his eyes widening when he bit into the gooey treat. " You made these?? " Kenny said, muffled by the mouthful, making utters blush again, grinning. " Yea! Do you like them? I remembered you said that you really wanted a fudge brownie the other day, but I know your favorite cookie is double chocolate... So I combined them to make Butters Gooey Double Chocolate Chip Fudge Cookie! " The boy proudly stated, his wide smile even sweeter than the cookie. " You... Are the best thing to happen to this world since NASCAR" Kenny laughed gently, unable to resist the urge to press a kiss to the boys forehead. "Try one" He said happily, shoving a cookie into Leos mouth before he could respond to the kiss. " Mmphf pmfhp mmfph" Butters said through his mouthful, making Kenny laugh. " What was that Butterfly? " Kenny teased as Leo gulped down the admittedly delicious snack, opening his mouth to respond. " I said, -" Kenny giggled, shoving another cookie into Leos mouth and hugging him so close into his side that he was practically on his lap. " You are a nightmare McCormick" Leo laughed when he had swallowed, pressing a kiss to Kennys nose before hopping off of the bench and running over to the lake. Kenny was shocked at the sudden act, but he followed the boy to the water with a goofy grin on his lips. " Here ya go Ken" Butters said cheerily, plopping a small round stone into Kennys hand. He looked up at him confused. " Skimming stones! " Butters answered the un asked question, throwing his own stone to demonstrate. It bounced three times before sinking with a satisfying plop, making Kenny smile like a child on christmas. " Wow! How did you do that? " He asked a little too enthusiastically, making the smaller boy giggle. " Wait you've never skimmed stones before? " Butters said as the realization hit him. Kenny shook his head, turning the stone over in his palm. " Here, I'll show you" Leo said happily, stepping behind the taller boy and positioning him. After an hour of failed attempts and laughing fits Kenny finally managed to make his stone bounce three times on the water's surface. " BUTTERS DID YOU SEE THAT?? " He shouted happily, the passion in his eyes making leo grin. " Well done Ken! I knew you could do it! " Kenny suddenly picked up the blonde, spinning him around in the air maaking him yelp in shock. When he let him go, the pair smiled at eachother genuinely. " Butterscotch... I know I keep saying this but I really needed this and I really appreciate everything you do for me" Butters looked at his feet shyly and blushed. " Its nothing Ken" Kenny placed a calloused finger on Butters chin, lifting it up so that he was forced to look at him. " But it is though. I really needed this... I really needed.. You" Butters couldnt hold himself back any longer, the soft tone of Kennys voice filled the air and his heart was thumping hard against his ribs. The world was going blurry and all he could see was Kenny, the was his freckles dusted over his face like snowflakes, the way his sandy blonde hair framed his face, the way the moonlight danced over his features, his pink, albeit chapped lips. Before he knew what he was doing, their lips were pressed together, and his eyes were shut tight. He pulled away quickly, avoiding eye contact as Kenny stood there in shock. " Leo? " He said shakily, eyes wide. Butters furrowed his eyebrows, screwing his eyes closed this time in fear. " S.. Sorry Ken I just uh.. The moonlight and uh.. The.. " He stuttered nervously, afraid of rejection. " Can we uh.. Do that again? " Kenny said hopefully. Butters opened his eyes widely, looking up at his friend who was blushing darker than he was. Unable to form words, Leo nodded rapidly, causing Kenny to smile, scooping the boy into a warm hug and pressing their lips together for the second time that night. The kiss felt like Butters was kissing away all of Kennys pain, and suddenly his deaths didn't matter anymore. Leo cared and that was enough for him.