"You smell good." Jinyoung mumbled in the crook of Jaebum's neck, peppering appreciative kisses along his skin.
"Just showered." Jaebum answered. He was trapped under Jinyoung who insisted on laying on top of him, being the snuggling type he was.
The past few days had been a bit eventful, but it was really nice when the two were just able to comfortably enjoy one another's presence. It felt amazing to have Jinyoung in his arms, he wouldn't have rathered it any other way.
But the thought of how grateful he was for Jinyoung quickly brought on the negative side of things. Jinyoung was still an angel, he didn't belong on Earth. So exactly how much longer would Jaebum be able to hold him like that?
Jinyoung rarely talked about it, and at first Jarbum didn't want to press on such upsetting topics, but at that point it felt crucial to mention it. He had to know what the future held for them, he didn't want to be caught by surprise. And even with Jinyoung's silence on the topic, it must've been plaguing his mind too considering just the night before he was looking over that note he received a few weeks ago from heaven.
The worst case would be for Jinyoung to be by his side one second, and then dissapeared forever the next. Jaebum wanted to avoid that at all costs.
"Jinyoung?" He called, still feeling those wet kisses being trailed along his jaw.
"Hm?" Jinyoung hummed out, deep and lazy.
"I've been wondering, since I saw you with that paper last night..." Jaebum let out a long breath, his hand slowly caressing the angel's back. "How long do you think you'll be here with me?"
Jinyoung shrugged. "I don't know. Why?"
"Because..." Jaebum felt his chest tighten a bit at the mere thought of Jinyoung one day leaving him. He needed to take another breath before continuing. "...because, even though I want to ignore it, you could leave me any day. I don't know if you'll go willingly or unwillingly but, I know they'll take you away from me by force if they have to, won't they? And I wouldn't know what to do with myself."
Jinyoung pulled back to look Jaebum in the eye. "What makes you think I'll leave you?"
"You said it yourself, you have to go back to heaven at some point. I mean, that was your main goal the first few weeks after you met me." Jaebum reminded.
Jinyoung's eyes dimmed as they fell to his lap. He paused for a moment before shaking his head and returning to his position on top of Jaebum. "Let's... not think about that, okay?"
"No but Jinyoung-"
"Shh." Jinyoung smacked their lips together into a hard kiss, catching him off guard. He held Jaebum close by the back of his neck, fingers dancing over his soft skin.
Jaebum was panting when they parted, his skin quickly heating up from the angel's shameless touches. "Jinyoung, stop."
Jinyoung was planting soft kisses all over Jaebum's face and neck. His hand slipped under his shirt, fingers trailing along Jaebum's ribcage and making him shudder. He was trying to avoid the subject, with intoxicating lips and his knowledge of ways to make Jaebum shut up, Jinyoung was obviously deflecting.
"Jinyoung I said stop." Jaebum gripped the angel's intrusive wrist, pushing it away from him. "You can't just ignore this. Please."
Jinyoung pulled back again, letting out a disappointed sigh. He climbed off of Jaebum to fish his sweatpants off the floor and put them on over his boxers. "I don't want to talk about it."
"But we have to. You're the one worrying yourself sick over losing me but just think for a sec how I would feel if I lost you? Awful, I'd feel awful. We have to discuss this." Jaebum replied.
"No we don't!" Jinyoung snapped. He grew angrier by the second, which only made things more confusing.
Jaebum sat up as he watched Jinyoung head towards the door. "Not talking about it won't make the circumstances any different-"
Jinyoung turned back towards Jaebum before reaching the door. "Don't you think I know that? You think I want to leave you? Every day I fear that I'll wake up back in heaven and never see you again, I'm terrified of going back. I don't want to talk about it or think about it or ever hear it again!"
Jaebum winced at the loud door slam that followed. He didn't want to talk about the topic just as much Jinyoung didn't, but if they never spoke about it, then he was sure that this uneasy feeling he had about their relationship would grow worse.
He decided to give Jinyoung a while to cool down, knowing that it was best to approach him when not riled up. He traveled into the living room where he assumed the angel was, and just as predicted he was perched on the couch watching TV. Jaebum was sure that Jinyoung sensed his presence, but the angel refused to even spare him a glance.
He was apparently still upset.
"Jinyoung?" Jaebum called as he took a seat next to the angel. Still no response. He nudged Jinyoung's arm with his elbow, pestering him for attention. "Hey. I love you."
Jinyoung let out a heavy sigh before turning his back. Jaebum rarely took offence to this behavior; whenever Jinyoung was moody he turned into a little brat, which he was so used to by now, he found it more cute than anything.
Jaebum poked him in the back, chuckling when Jinyoung pushed his hand away. "C'mon, say it back."
Jinyoung was still quiet, dead set on not paying Jaebum any mind.
"Say it back~" Jaebum whined as he tugged Jinyoung closer.
Jinyoung grumbled something under his breath, twisting out of Jaebum's grasp and folding his arms over his chest.
Jaebum cocked his head, a small smile resting on his lips. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you?"
"You're annoying." Jinyoung replied. Finally, an actual response.
"You're adorable." Jaebum countered as he poked Jinyoung's side.
Jinyoung swatted Jaebum's hand as if it were an annoying fly. "Stop this."
"Stop what? Making you blush? Never." Jaebum scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Jinyoung, pulling the angel into his arms, his chest to Jinyoung's back. He knew that Jinyoung's favorite place to be was pressed against him, so of course Jaebum used that to his advantage. "Tell me you love me or I'll cry."
"You're so dramatic." Jinyoung groaned.
"And you're not?" Jaebum retorted, pointing out the irony of the statement. He squeezed Jinyoung tight and pressed a kiss to his ear, whispering more confessions against the lobe. "Baby you're my everything. I love you so much."
Jinyoung was hiding his soft giggles behind his hand, the sound music to Jaebum's ears. "You're so sappy, it's gross."
"C'mon Jinyoung, don't leave me hanging." Jaebum complained as he pressed another kiss to the nape of Jinyoung's neck.
Jinyoung let out a heavy sigh, hiding his face in his knees that were bent to his chest. "...I love you too..."
Jaebum's smile widened as he curled his fingers under Jinyoung's jaw and lifted his head. "Say it again?"
"I said I love you too." Jinyoung repeated, his voice soft, but sure.
"Sorry, one more time?" Jaebum requested, at this point just messing with him. "A bit louder, I couldn't quite get it."
"I said I love you too, dumbass." Jinyoung grumbled, adding a flick to Jaebum's forehead as a repercussion. Jaebum just chuckled, and Jinyoung couldn't help but join him.
"Ah, that's the Jinyoung I know and love with all my heart." He gripped Jinyoung's hand in his own, lifting it to his lips to kiss the back of it. Their fingers clasped together in a tight, practically unbreakable bonding. "Y'know, no matter what happens, I don't think I'll ever forget you."
"You better not." Jinyoung replied. It sounded more like a threat than a warning. "I just don't want to be worried about what may happen in the future. I want this to be forever."
"Well, is there a way to make that possible?" Jaebum asked.
Jinyoung shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe defying the rules again? But I don't know what happens if you become a multiple time offender. The punishment may be different and much worse."
"Then just ask them to stay on Earth." Jaebum suggested.
Jinyoung chuckled at his innocent take on the situation. "I think it's much more difficult than that."
"Oh..." Jaebum trailed off, letting out a long sigh.
A comfortable silence passed between them as the weight of it settled on their shoulders. Jinyoung's stay on Earth was something neither of them could control. Jaebum was only a human, and from everything Jinyoung's told him, he didn't have enough power to freely do what he wanted.
"Jaebum?" Jinyoung suddenly called out, pulling him from his thoughts.
He looked down at the angel, gently brushing the hair out of his face. "Hm?"
"I um... I guess I have to tell you something..." Jinyoung mumbled.
Jaebum frowned as the angel sat up and turned to face him. Things felt as if it were about to get serious. He didn't like it. "What?"
"You know when you found me last night, reading that note?" Jinyoung tugged at the bottom of his shirt "That um... well, that wasn't the first note from months ago that they sent me. I've actually received it recently."
Jaebum blinked, his brows quickly knitting together. "Wait, and you never told me?"
"I-I didn't know how to, we were so happy and everything was going great, I'd practically forgotten about going home until one day while you were cooking the note appeared on the window ledge. A carrier bird must've dropped it." Jinyoung frantically explained, as he could tell Jaebum was getting upset.
"Jinyoung why were you hiding it from me? You should've told me about it then." Jaebum replied. He had no idea what the note could've said, and for Jinyoung to hide it from him only gave him more to worry about. What else could the angel be harboring from him?
"I know, I'm sorry I was just worried..." Jinyoung mumbled.
"What is there to worry about? What does the note say?" Jaebum asked. He didn't receive an answer, which didn't give him a good feeling at all. "What does it say, Jinyoung?"
Jinyoung swallowed hard at Jaebum's firm tone, letting out a sigh as he reached under the couch for the note. Jaebum's eyes widened as he pulled out the rolled up sheet of golden paper that had been hidden literally right under him.
Jinyoung opened the paper, looking down at the words scrawled upon it before glancing back up at his lover. "Jaebum I-"
"Read it." Jaebum ordered.
"But-"
"I deserve to know what it says, read it. Now."
Jinyoung looked back down at the note, his fingers trembling against the glistening gold. "It... it basically says..."
'Jinyoung,
You were initially sent to Earth in order to repent for what you've done wrong, though while learning to love and live amongst humans without the use of divine powers, you seemed to have fallen for one. It is crucial to respect that any sort of relationship between humans and angel's are forbidden, as you were not exiled to Earth to mingle, but to understand the tight bond that life, death, and fate has formed together that cannot be broken. You have defied yet another rule while on punishment, and though the proper sentencing would be to keep you on Earth longer, it seems that it would be more appropriate for you to face much harsher repercussions. You'll understand what that is when it happens.'
"So... you're in more trouble?" Jaebum summed up from the contents of the note.
Jinyoung slowly nodded as he rolled the paper back up. "Basically, yeah..."
"And... why didn't you ever tell me that humans and angel's weren't supposed to have relationships with one another?" Jaebum asked. There were so many rules and regulations that Jinyoung had to follow, he always felt out of the loop with these things, and now Jinyoung was in worse trouble partially because of him.
"Technically I did! I told you that angel's are never supposed to interfere with humans aside from dreams and premonitions. So um... you were never really supposed to find out that I was an angel..." Jinyoung mumbled the last bit, as he had already broken that rule the first night they met all those months ago.
It was a lot to take in. Jaebum felt like them meeting was fate and him falling in love with an angel was destined to happen, only to find out that technically none of it was supposed to happen and they'd been making the heavens very unhappy all this time. Jaebum could understand Jinyoung being worried about it, because now, he was worried too. "Is this what you've been thinking about for the past few days? Is that why you've been acting off and stuff?"
"I dunno... I've been thinking about it a lot, worrying about what they might do to me, and worrying about what you'd do if something happens to me..." Jinyoung kept his eyes down in his lap, his fingers constantly tugging and fiddling with his clothing. "But um... over the past few days, I thought about it, and I think I might know exactly what they meant."
"What is it?" Jaebum asked.
Jinyoung shook his head. "I don't wanna worry you-"
"You're already worrying me." Jaebum interrupted. He tightly gripped Jinyoung's hand in his own, squeezing it as he spoke. "Don't fucking hide anything else from me Jinyoung, I want honesty from now on, do you understand me?"
Jinyoung's mouth hung open as if to argue something, only for him to shake the thought away.
"Okay... you're right, sorry..." He cleared his throat before speaking. "So um... they said that I deserve to face harsher repercussions right? Well, they know I've fallen for a human, which is also against the rules, and not long after receiving this letter, you almost get hit by a truck... I mean, if you understand where I'm going with this..."
Jaebum easily connected the dots. But he really didn't want to believe it. "You think they're trying to kill me?"
"I don't know, don't make assumptions just yet." Jinyoung replied. He obviously didn't want to think about it just as much as Jaebum didn't, but it must've been on his mind for the past few days, especially since the accident. "But... I'm worried, because I don't put the idea past them..."
"Who exactly is this 'them' that I should be scared for my life of?" Jaebum questioned. They sounded pretty powerful, like people he didn't want to mess with.
"It's a bunch of 'thems', a council of sorts. I've never even met any of 'them', they always send a representative to tell you either good news or bad news. Or, they just send a letter." Jinyoung held up the golden paper in reference.
"So, a bunch of powerful elder angel's are trying to kill me because you keep disobeying their laws?" Jaebum asked, the whole sentence sounding insanely scary and dangerous.
"Simply put, maybe." Jinyoung confirmed.
Jaebum covered his face with his hands, shaking his head at it all. Why the hell was he being punished for Jinyoung's punishment? "And... you really never planned on telling me any of this, huh?"
"I... I don't know, honestly..." Jinyoung looked away, guilt painting his face. "Jaebum I didn't want to worry you, and I was already panicking over losing you, I didn't want to stress either of us out anymore after all that's happened in the past few days..."
"But, you were the one preaching to me about how you didn't want to lose me, yet all this time you knew that my life was already on the line. I have no choice now, do I?"
Jinyoung shook his head, giving Jaebum's hand a tight squeeze. "What? Of course you do-"
"No, I don't. Not if powerful magical people are trying to kill me, a mere human that can't do shit." Jaebum retorted. Jinyoung's told him plenty of times before, humans were practically bugs compared to them. If an angel wanted him dead, they surely had the power to make it happen. "They're gonna kill me, one way or another."
"Don't speak like that!" Jinyoung scolded.
"Tell me I'm safe then." Jaebum ordered. "Look me in the eyes and tell me I have nothing to worry about, and we can go back to being all cute and lovey dovey with one another."
Jinyoung's jaw hung open, yet nothing came out. He wanted to tell Jaebum that everything would be okay, he wanted to say that there was absolutely nothing to worry about and they could be together forever in peace. But the hard truth was that nothing was okay, their future together was unsure, and Jinyoung had a lot on his plate to deal with after falling in love with a human. He ended up looking down at his lap, avoiding Jaebum's expectant eyes. "I'm sorry..."
Jaebum let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. He slowly nodded his head, taking in his fate. "Right. So I'm gonna die."
"But you can't!" Jinyoung retorted. He refused to let Jaebum get into that mindset, not since he's promised to never let anything happen to him. He didn't understand why Jaebum had to die in the first place, why couldn't they be with one another if no one was getting hurt? "It's not fair! Just because I love you they're gonna kill you!?"
"Jinyoung I don't know if you realized this yet, but you come from a pretty fucked up place. You shouldn't be surprised anymore." Jaebum stated. Heaven was supposed to be the place where all worries could be forgotten. The perfect haven to rest after a long life on Earth. But all Jaebum's heard was problem after problem; Heaven wasn't perfect at all, it wasn't anymore perfect than Earth was.
Jinyoung let out a frustrated huff, his eyes beginning to water as they lost sight of what to do. "Jaebum you can't die. I love you too much."
Jaebum loved him too much too. Way too much to risk losing him. He didn't want to die, nor did he want Jinyoung to get into anymore trouble. What else could they possibly do to save one another?
"Then... stop loving me." Jaebum replied.
Jinyoung blinked, his brows furrowing at the request. "What?"
"Just follow the rules. Leave me if you have to." Jaebum mumbled. He hated the words that were leaving his mouth, but he had no other choice. They had no other choice.
Jinyoung shook his head, a tear ran down his cheek. "No..."
"Jinyoung I hate it just as much as you do, but I think we're powerless. There's nothing to do but obey. Just do what you need to do so both you and me can remain safe." Jaebum tugged Jinyoung's face into his palms, lightly kissing the angel's nose. "I'll always love you, you know that, right?"
More tears streamed down Jinyoung's face, the utter shock in his eyes feeling like a stab to Jaebum's chest. The angel pushed him away, shaking his head in denial. "Fuck off, you're not saying goodbye."
"I will if I have to." Jaebum's eyes raked over every bit of Jinyoung's face. It hurt way too much to let such an ethereally beautiful being inside and out go. He felt himself tearing up. "And looks like I have to."
"Jaebum..." Jinyoung was speechless. He watched with wide eyes as Jaebum stood and turned away from him to hide the tears falling down his face. "How can you make that decision so easily!?"
"I didn't."
"You're already saying goodbye to me! How can you do that to someone you love!?"
"Because sometimes you need to let go of what you love." Jaebum turned back, tugging Jinyoung up into his arms. He ran his thumb over the angel's cheek, wiping away the tears that decorated them. "I said I'll always love you, didn't I? You trust me, right?"
Jinyoung's lips quivered as he spoke. No matter how much Jaebum wiped them away, the tears kept coming. "Y-Yes..."
"Then, you know that I love you too much to let something bad happen to you. It's either I die, or you go. Which is it gonna be?"
Jinyoung didn't want to answer. He didn't want that to be their last option. His heart hurt immensely as he gazed into Jaebum watery brown eyes. "There has to be another way-"
"Until we find another way, make a decision." Jaebum ordered.
"You can't die..." Jinyoung sobbed. He pressed his face to Jaebum's shoulder, the tears running freely from his face into the fabric of his shirt. "I can't lose someone again, I can't."
"Then, I guess we know what choice we have to make." Jaebum whispered into Jinyoung's hair, taking in the feeling and smell and warmth of his body for as long as he could, knowing that soon, he'd never be able to again.
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(*soo, you're probably wondering when this story got so angsty and emotional and I-... I really don't know 😭.*)