{•Unedited•}
~Vina's POV~
"Is he okay?" My mom asks, gesturing with her head towards Idris. He's sitting on the couch nodding to whatever Nava is saying just as he's been for the last fifteen minutes. My dad has his eyes narrowed at the side of his head, which confuses me since they get along well. "Ever since he came in he's looked a little flushed."
"I'll talk to him," I tell her. She takes the semi-wet rag and finishes drying the dishes she used to cook. Straightening out my skirt, I walk to the couch and sit down beside him. My mom wasn't kidding about him being flushed in the cheeks. Nava turns the conversation over to my dad, thankfully taking my dads attention off Idris. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Y-yeah, I'm fine," he says. Just as in about to take his hand I notice the cuff of his right sleeve undone.
"Has it been like this the whole time?" I ask, fixing it for him. He's silent for a few minutes before clearing his throat.
"Must have been. I got ready in a rush and probably forgot." He quickly takes his arm back after I'm done, clasping his hands together on his lap. He turns his attention back to Nava while I keep mine on him. His eyes are droopy but not as they had been a few hours ago or the other day, it's worse and his pupils are constricted. I try not to pay too close of attention to the way his fingers tap against his knuckles.
His eyes squeeze shut as he rubs them, taking slow breaths. I scoot a little closer, throwing my arm over his broad shoulders and resting my head on him. He sits back, creasing my wrist with his hand. My fingers run down the back of his neck and through his hair slowly, trying to notice if there's anything else about him I can catch. His eyes flutter close just as my dad reaches over and claps his hands in front of face.
He finches back at the noice giving him a very forced smile. Alaric starts laughing at his reaction while getting up. "Help me with something outside," my dad tells him. Liking my way, I take my arm away from around Idris and let him up. As the two of them walk outside together I can't help but feel a little sick to my stomach from nerves. Idris isn't acting like himself which worries and confuses me and I have no way of figuring out what's wrong if he doesn't communicate.
"Everything okay?" Atticus asks as he sits down in the recliner. Clearly throat, I nod. He's the last person to vent to. He'll give his opinion too strongly and put down yours.
"I'm okay."
•••••••
~Idris's POV~
I feel sick as I follow him out to the front yard. He stops in his tracks once in front of a white truck, turning to face me. His expression is far from what it was inside. In there is looked laid back but now he looks ready to beat my ass if I make a wrong move. The wind blows hard, the trees going crazy with every breeze.
"You might be fooling them, but I know heroin when I see it," he says, tilting his chin up. My chest tightens with anxiety. It's harder to hide than I remember. When Vina noticed my cuff being unbuttoned I nearly ran right then. I feel shitty disowning her trust by using it against her. She'll believe what I tell her because I've never lied to her before, it's coming in handy now but I wish I didn't have to use it to my advantage.
I want this day to be over with only the memories of this morning but that's impossibly. I'll now remember this day as when I relapsed. If I had done this to myself I think it would be easier for me to handle, but I'm also freaked out that I had no idea and was tricked. If it weren't for Ozais I would be inside having the first good Christmas of my life with my girlfriend and her family that's so kindly welcomed me, but because of him I'm out here, high and hardly able to comprehend what's going on with Zavian.
"I don't know-"
"Don't give me that shit, Idris. I was addict, I know all the fake promises and sayings in the book. You know what I'm talking about. You didn't go out to your truck to make sure it was locked, you shot yourself up."
My eyes drop to the grass. It's wet from the gloomy weather. The sky is still grey from yesterday and it will probably rain. My distracted thoughts are interrupted by him slapping me softly, hard but not enough to actually hurt.
"I get that being fucked up is hard, fucking trust me, I know," he says, his jaw clenched. I pinch the tip of my nose, looking anywhere but him. If anyone could have noticed my behavior I'm thankful it's him and not Atticus or Alaric. "Vina loves you, I can see that, and you love her. Why the fuck are screwing that up?!"
"I-I'm not. I just...I-I just had to get through today without being too obvious," I tell him. His eyes narrow but not in a way that he looks mad, just confused.
"So then tell me how you're going to get through the next few hours when you come down and tomorrow when you start feeling a withdrawal. Hmm? How are you gonna get through it?" He asks. My eyes lift to his, finally meeting his disappointed gaze. "I believe in you, but you have to understand that Vina is my daughter. This is going to hurt her if she finds out. And you know what? If something happens to her because you get too wrapped into this bullshit then I'll take your ass out before the drugs can."
He takes his keys out of his pockets and presses a button. The white truck makes a loud beep to signal that it's been locked. "Are you going to tell her?" I ask, scared of his answer. Vina means the world to me, loosing her would send me completely down hill. Doing this is risking what we have but I can handle it, I can get it under control again; I still am in control.
"No, that's not place. The only way it'll leave my mouth is if I have to tell her I killed you. Either you clean yourself up or she'll catch on eventually. Your choice what road you go down."
••••••
"What the fuck could he possibly be saying to make her smile like that?" I say in disgust, finally tearing my eyes away from Leo and Vina. She's been helping with his with math while I've been sitting with Nanny for about thirty minutes. With the amount of giggles and smiles I don't think he's doing much paying attention to her explaining mathematical formulas.
"What do you mean "like that"? I just see a smile," she says, bringing one knee up to her chest and wrapping her arms around it. Maybe she's right not I've fallen into the habit of reading into things too quickly. The fast few days have been taugh but I've managed, however, not in a way I was hoping.
Ozais was right; I went back to him night before last. He has that "I told you so" look on his face when he let me in and lead me to the living area that had been packed with people and a different assortments of drugs on the table. I've fallen back into my old habits; I'm not in control and I never was. The minute you stick use a drug it has control of you unless you're apart of the very very lucky few.
"Maybe you should focus a bit more on yourself. You're looking a little rough," she says, looking me over. I haven't been able to hide the effects as well I was able to years ago. Before I somehow still had brightness under my eyes but now it's dark circles from sleeplessness and half the time I'm too nauseous to clean myself up.
Vina has asked me every chance she has if I'm okay or if something is wrong but I keep lying. Every time I lie to her I can keep her slipping away but she doesn't know. I've stayed away from my "parents" and her family since Christmas, only surrounding myself with Vina and Ozais.
"I'm just stressed," I tell her. She straightens up, putting both feet on the floor. Leo and Vina walk over with their things in hand, their shoulders brushing against each others. Even that small contact makes me want to throw him against one of these shelves. She stops behind my seat and places her hands on my shoulders.
"Did you get that book you looking for?" She asks. I get up, shaking my head. "I would help you find it but I'm not feeling well," she says.
"Are you okay?"
"Cramps, I just need to sit. Leo can help you, I'm sure," she says, looking towards him. Nanny's lips curve up in a grin. His eyes lock with mine.
"I think I can find it myself," I tell her. He steps forward, smiling down at her. My hands ball into fists at how he looks at her. It's how I do and every person should but I still hate it.
"I can help. It'll be quicker," he says, shrugging his shoulders. She smiles up at the both us and sits down, opening the book she had in her hands. Nanny winks at me before I start towards a random aisle of books. He jogs every few steps to keep it with my fast pace. If he hadn't come my plan was to grab a random look and go. "What are you looking for?"
"Outsiders," I lie, thinking of the first book that comes to mind. I loved it as a kid, it was the only book I would actually sit down and read, it didn't matter how many times. It was the only book or story I was able to see myself in the characters. It made me feel like I was less alone, like there actually was other kids like me who just didn't know where their place was or how to manage life right.
"That would be in YA," he says, pointing to the next aisle over. This time I let him lead the way, watching the way he walks swiftly. I contemplate stepping on the back of his shoe to make him trip but even Vina would be able to tell that was planned. Finding the book in the shelf I grab it and flip through the pages. "How long have you and Corvina been together?"
"A few months. Why?" I ask, not wanting to discuss my relationship with him. His feelings for Vina are obvious, even Nanny has told me he likes her because he told her. I want to talk to Vina about it but she wouldn't see the problem that I do. I know I can trust her, but he seems too...clean to be trusted. Some people need a little dirt.
"Just wondering. She's an amazing women," he says, glancing over at her with a smile. Is this man fucking serious? Complimenting her in front of me while looking at her like she hung the moon...she did...but not for him or anyone else. Note to self: Cut his tongue out if we get to that point.
"She is, that's why she's mine," I tell him. He snaps his head back me, a brow cocked.
"I'm not the type to "steal" a girl if that's what you're worried about. And if a girl leaves for someone else, was she even yours in the first place?" He says, trying to sound as if I should know what he's going to say. "You have a wonderful girl under your arm, not to mention those beautiful eyes of hers. I'll admit I'm envious."
"And that's how your going to stay, just envious." I step closer, towering over him by a good five inches. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows nervously. "Stay the fuck away from her."
"The insecure boyfriend going to kill me or something?"
"Yes and I don't make it quick."
AN: Such a bad pain day but at least I got an early update in 😄 Idris Idris Idris...what am I gonna have to do with you 😈 I really hope you guys enjoy!
PS: For those of you who have no watched A Bronx Tale (movie from gif at the beginning), you're missing out. Such a classiiicccc!!
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