Tzuyu pov
During the next months the situation didn't change at all.
I always got jealous of Dahyun and Sana.
I would always went out to drink.
I would always lie to them just to go out and ease my heart and mind.
The better improvement I had is about my acting. I would smile at them and laugh with them when in reality I just want to cry and yell at them.
I got really close with Momo.
We went out a few times together just to have fun. She was the only one to know my real situation and she always let her shoulder to cry on for me. I'm really thankful she knows, maybe it wasn't a bad idea to tell her.
A few nights she came with me at the place and she met up with the Japanese. She said they are fun to be with but she doesn't want to get addicted like me.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Today is 25 December, and you all should know what does this mean.
Yes, it's our anniversary. Our 2 year anniversary together if I need to specific it.
I woke up thinking I would have her beside me, but I was wrong. I went to the living room, to the kitchen, to the bathroom but she wasn't there. I tried to think of other places where she could go and an idea came up. The rooftop.
I walked up the stairs and already near the entrance I could hear voices. I opened the door and saw Sana and Dahyun talking. What are they doing?
I moved closer but still I couldn't hear all, just a few parts.
"Sana...... don't think we can still do it"
"please? Pretty? ~"
"okay fine........ they can't know they will tell her and it won't be safe."
"thank you Dahyun~~. I love you to the moon and back!" Sana screamed
"They can hear you!...... love you too"
"Dahyun" Sana took Dahyun hand and stare at her "thanks"
"no problem. All for my favourite" Dahyun pinched Sana cheeks making her shy "are you shy shy shy?"
"stop it" Sana whined blushing.
They looked at each other for a few moments and all changed. Like in that films they smiled at each other lovely.
I couldn't stand it anymore and afraid they could hear my sobs I run away.
I went to the room and took my coat and phone.
When I was walking again to the door I spotted a pair of keys. Quickly I took them and run downstairs in the garage.
I clicked the bottom and the van lights illuminated. Fantastic.
I know the basic of driving but I don't have the license, but as you can deduce I don't care at the moment.
I drive for 2 hours without a destination, just my mind telling me to go away and never come back.
Eventually I arrived in a remote camp where I couldn't see anyone. Perfect.
I took my coat again. And again I spotted something. Cigarettes. Manager-nim smokes so he always have them in the van.
'maybe it will work' I thought going out. You know a lot of people say cigarettes help to free your mind or something like that, so why don't try?
It took me 20 minutes to gather the courage to light one of them and inhale it.
At first the only think I could do was coughing but after a few times it got better.
Finishing the first one I didn't feel anything different so I lighted another one.
A while after I was shivering and decided to go back to heat a bit. Looking at the hour I noticed I stayed out 3 hours.
'that's why it was so cold outside'
Then a smell reached dmy nostrils.
I hit my head in the wheel because I smelled so much of smoke. I can't go back, well I actually don't have any intention.
Before stranding the engine I noticed my phone was continuously vibrating. I took a look and I had 78 missed calls from the members. I closed it not in the mood to deal with it.
I started the engine and drove to the only place where I can feel safe.
It was another 3 hours of road and it was really getting annoying having my phone squealing every 5 seconds. I turned it off and concentrate on the street with sad music as company.
Finally I arrived across the building i planned to go. I knocked on the door hoping she will be the one to open.
Santa maybe listened to me and have made it happened.
"Tzuyu? What are you doing here?"
"Marry Christmas!" I faked a big smile
"Elkie who is there?" one of her members asked from inside the dorm
"Come in. Outside it's freezing" Elkie said before dragging me inside "your hands are ice" she went to take a blanket while I greet her members.
All of them looked at me strangely, maybe they smelled the smoke, but still they were happy they could meet me on Christmas.
Elkie all the times was glaring at me and eventually she brought me to her room.
"why are you here?"
"to say happy Christmas?"
"not it's not.................. She is the reason, right?" she eventually find out my problem
"elkie" I looked straight at her "am I this invisible? Is my love not enough?" I didn't protest when tears starts rolling down.
"Tzu....." she hugged me.
"why? What did I do wrong? Am I nothing?" I cried out.
"shh. It's not true" she patted my head, like I was a pets and it made me giggled "don't over think. You are not sure"
"I saw it with my eyes. I saw them. I saw all of it"
"that's why you smell like smoke?" she asked
"did you notice?"
"you can smell it from a mile away" she laughed "how many? "
"I don't know, i didn't count them. But I think it was near an all box"
"are you nuts?!" she yelled "that's too much for your first........... And how did you arrived here?"
"I drove" I said it as if it was normal. She has her eyes wided.
"Chou Tzuyu! You don't fucking have a license!! Are you stupid?! What if they block you?!"
"rely El if you are just going to yell at me I prefer going"
"and where?" she asked and she has a point "you smell like a cigarettes and your eyes are red from the smoke and the cries. Stay here, have a shower and then go to sleep. You will go home tomorrow. Clear?"
"yes. thank you" I hugged her
"you owned me" she said before leaving me so I could go and have a shower.