LEVI
The street had filled with onlookers observing the spectacle of soldiers riding to their doom once again, and I all I could think about her. The redhead plaguing my thoughts sat astride her mount next to her irritating brother and her Section commander, who held her unwavering allegiance. If Miche commanded her to ride to her death then off to the afterlife she rode, such was her loyalty. The thought of her devotion began to twist into dark feelings of jealousy inside me when I thought about what she would do for him.
Not a day went by since that night in the stables that she hadn't been in the back of my thoughts, tormenting me. I relived that moment every day cursing myself for my selfishness in taking her like an animal and then treating her as if it had meant absolutely nothing, when the truth was the exact opposite. It had been everything.
I had been so hell-bent on putting her in her place that I hadn't seen the danger signs. Furious with her recklessness and so angry at what could have cost her life, I had taken it upon myself to make her see the stupidity of her actions, yet when confronted she had been adamant that it was her job to gamble with herself so offhandedly. I knew I had wanted her, what man with eyes in his head wouldn't, but I had mistaken myself in thinking that what I was feeling was just pure lust. So, when she had dared to challenge me as my equal, it had awoken something inside me that I couldn't control and I had to claim her for my own.
This strange woman who had not asked me for anything and yet gave me everything had spun me about. It had all been so intoxicating, from that first kiss to the moment I had spent myself inside her. My entire being had come into focus, and I had felt something I hadn't felt in full for quite some time, alive. When she had started to force her body back on to mine, and we had become one, I knew she had felt it too. I had not been gentle; I am not by nature a gentle-man, at any moment she could have stopped me, but she hadn't, because deep down, she not gentle either. She may not know it, but there is a darkness inside her that had called to my own, and it had answered.
It wasn't until I had pulled myself from her, and she hissed in pain that I realised that she had not been touched by a man before. I wish I could say I felt guilty at that being her first time, instead of the overwhelming male pride of being the first to claim her, but that would be lying. Watching her pull her clothes back in place, I had been ready to take her again, but when she turned her beautiful, strange eyes towards me, an age-old fear took hold.
I had cared, and that was dangerous. What would become of us if I had allowed myself to fall down that rabbit hole, and worse, what would happen if Aurora was to be killed? After all, it's not a long life we have, killing titans, sooner or later one of us would become fodder. She was strong and fast but not invincible, no one was. I had felt that crippling pain before when Isabel and Farlan were killed and had lost myself to the blood-lust that followed, since then I had forbidden myself to become attached to anyone again and gave myself to the cause, body and soul to account for my failures. There wasn't room inside me for anything else. So, when she had looked at me as she had, I had done the only thing I knew how and closed her off.
Seeing her face had been painful, the shift between pleasure to pain to acceptance and finally resignation had almost been enough to change my mind. Almost. I had let her leave and thought myself to be done with it all. I was again sorely mistaken.
At first, it had been easy, Aurora had taken it upon herself to disappear whenever I was remotely close, which soon escalated into active avoidance on her part. I hadn't expected the cut off to be quite so profound, my body ached to see her, even if it was from afar. Pathetically I had reasoned with myself that I could keep her at arm's length and still have her in my life. I had begun to orchestrate scenarios where I could interact with her safely, such as meal times, gym sessions and training exercises, but she evaded me at every turn. I had even stooped so low as to break into Erwin's office to change the training rota so that I could see her, I had been pleased with myself until that morning when Gelgar had turned up in her place having swapped programmes and I had nearly choked the life out of the squad leader.
The only time I actually got to see her for more than a few fleeting moments was when Erwin needed an area wiping clean of Titan scum, it was during these massacres I got to see Aurora in all her glory. The way she cut through Titans with such aggression and ferocity stirred up a primal need for her, she never looked more beautiful than when she was covered in their blood, the steam rising from her body. I had watched her grow more and more assured on the field and silently marvelled, no longer did I fear for her and her recklessness but rather pitied the poor bastard that got in her way.
But she won't let that be me, not after what I did.
The horse between my legs reared up, shaking me from my obsession. It wouldn't be long now before the gate opened for us to advance. To my right, Gunther, to my Left Eld. The latter was still suffering the side effects from the broken nose Aurora had inflicted when he had kissed her without permission.
You're lucky, that's all that was inflicted.
"Look! It's Captain Levi! They say he's as mighty as an entire brigade!" some idiot in the crowd shouted.
"Ugh. Spare me please" I muttered more to myself than anyone else, I cared very little for their ridiculous hero worship, one failed mission and we would be right back to being the cause of their problems.
"That scowl will crush your fans, not that it's any of my business, but from a public relation standpoint, you might want to lighten up a little" Hange threw over her shoulder as she trotted forward to take her place beside Miche and Aurora who had ducked her fiery head, shoulders shaking.
Was she laughing?
"Aurora! Rian! Over here!" A male voice boomed from the crowd and Aurora's head snapped up, following the sound to the three brats that were calling for her and her idiot brother. Nudging Rian with a broad smile on her face she pointed to two young men, boys really though in comparison they were closer to her in age than I was, and a young woman. The brown-haired brat was waving furiously, his eyes shining with pride.
Observing the display, I watched as Rian saluted the runts from his mare, to his side Aurora brought her fingers to her lips in a kissing gesture before stretching her arm out to them in what was an incredibly personal sign of affection. Jealousy burned hot in my blood, especially when I saw the one with the messy brown hair give her a wide smile reaching back for her in return. Aurora brought her hand to rest over her heart, tilting her head, her thick, vibrant hair braided around her head in resemblance to a crown.
Fitting, she does have the grace of a queen on the battlefield.
Watching her now I could see the sunlight lighting her hair as if it was aflame, flashes of that hair tangled in my hands sprung to my mind, and I shifted uncomfortably in the saddle as my breeches tightened. Before turning back, she caught me watching her, locking eyes with my own she stared for what seemed like an eternity before sighing and looking away.
Unable to tear my gaze from her, I continued to stare at the back of her head, willing her to look at me again. Movement caught my eye, Rian was watching his twin sister with his brows drawn together in confusion before some realisation dawned, turning in his seat he glared daggers at me in what was nothing less than a 'back off' statement.
Could have done with that two years ago.
"Behold the threshold of Titania!"Hange raved as she bounced in her saddle "Ohh can you just envision the horrors in store for us comrades! I'm on pins and needles! If we bag an abnormal ill burst with tears of Joy"
Really four-eyes?
"You do know everyone can hear you, right?" Aurora laughed while pulling on Hange's ear affectionately and I seized my opportunity to gain her attention once again.
"I think we've bagged the craziest abnormal already" I called out sarcastically to Hange and Aurora shot a scowl my way no doubt understanding the insult I intended. Still the protector I see.
"Really?!?! Where?" Hange said impervious to my cruel intentions.
"I mean you" I drawled and Aurora shook her head, but I didn't fail to see the small smile that pulled at her lips, the sight sending a pleasant warmth through my chest.
Get a hold of yourself.
"Move out!" Erwin barked, and with that, we rode for the advancement of humanity.
********************************
Spinning through the air, I brought my blades down upon the large Titan's nape, freeing the soldier it was leisurely chewing on. Landing firmly on the adjacent rooftop I watched in satisfaction as the monster fell to its death. The thrill of taking their lives would never be beaten, well maybe by one other thing, but this wasn't the time to fall back into memories best left for when I was in my quarters, alone. Taking a deep breath, I took in my surroundings.
One on the right, two on the left.
"Captain the reinforcements are here sir" Petra hollered as she landed on the rooftop flanked by Gunther and Eld awaiting their orders. Scanning the skyline, I spotted Oluo, Rian and Aurora making short work of their quarries, soon to be heading in our direction.
Time to clear the way then.
"Good. Tend to our comrade down below Petra. You two take out the Titan to your right, the pair on the left belongs to me" I ordered before I shot off towards the two big bastards on the left.
"I know you probably can't help being hideous, but I can't help being tired of looking at you" I sneering as I grappled to the nearest building and flung myself away from the closest Titan, guiding my wire to choke the bastard before bearing down on its nape. Releasing my hooks, I used my air to propel my body above the next target. Detaching my blades and launching them with deadly precision, I speared the silver steel into the Titan's eyes and agonised screaming erupted from its mouth, music to my ears.
"Easy big stuff, nobodies, got time for a cry baby" I smiled savouring the moment before the kill, "Let's take it as a man shall we"
Carving out the Titan's nape, blood squirted in a wide arc covering me head to toe.
Disgusting.
Swinging away from the already steaming corpse, I redirected myself back towards where the injured soldier had fallen to assist Petra. Disengaging my hooks, I landed on my feet, taking stock of the scene before as the wrong redhead was struggling to administer first aid to the evidently dying soldier. Getting closer, I could see the alarming pool of blood gushing through Aurora's fingers as she tried in vain to stem the bleeding.
"Captain, I relieved Petra so she could assist Eld" Aurora gritted out, desperation permeating her voice; she knew he was going to die and yet she continued to try and save him.
She doesn't know how to give up.
"I can't stop the bleeding" she whispered, her eyes snapping to mine pleading for help as if I held power to grant this soldier's salvation. I knelt down beside the solider, Gregory I believe his name was, and took one of his hands in mine while my other gently removed Aurora's hand to let the blood flow.
Better a quick death than a lingering one, we can't all be afforded such luxury.
"Captain Levi" Gregory groaned, blood rising to his paling lips and Aurora quickly dabbed away the blood to allow the man to speak freely.
"I'm here" I reassured but Gregory's eyes were already unseeing, I gripped his hand tightly to let him know I was indeed with him, that he would not die alone.
"Did this make a difference ... was I helpful... please sir don't tell me this was for nothing... tell me this helps the cause" he mumbled, his strength fading fast.
Had this one sacrifice made a difference? The brutal truth of it was probably not, and yet I felt the need to tell him the exact opposite. No one deserved to die a pointless death, I could spare him that at least.
"We have made great strides today solider and tomorrow because of you, your strength won't die with you, the torch will be carried on by me this I swear on my very life! the titans will be eradicated!" I swore, not just for Gregory but for Isabel and Farlan, for the woman in front of me stroking a dying soldier's hair regardless of the danger she was in lingering here.
"Levi I'm sorry, he's gone," Aurora said gently. She sat back and ran a hand across her face in utter defeat and resignation, blood smearing in its path. Something about her resigned face sparked some memory of an ancient proverb.
Ours is but to do and die, how fitting.
"Did he hear what I had to say? Any of it?" I asked as I placed my hand on his chest and let my head fall in respect. How many more would we lose before we finally had our victory? Would the price we pay be worth the end result, somehow, I doubted it would.
"Yes," she said, her hand coming to rest on top of my own momentarily before pulling away and I instantly craved her touch again the moment it had ended, "He heard all of it, he's at peace now."
"We can hope" I muttered, weary to the bone. We hadn't even gotten halfway along our supply line, and we were taking hits. Something was off, we shouldn't be encountering this many titans together, they couldn't all be damn abnormals. Something was pulling them, there was no other explanation. I was about to voice my thoughts to Aurora when the creepy, detached look on her face as she looked upon the dead man made me take a re-evaluation.
"I saw another die like this once, bleeding out into the street," she said lifelessly, staring into nothing. Unable to stop myself, I reached forward towards her face, gently wiping the blood from her cheek before cupping the side of her face, the relief at finally touching her again was palpable. Her eyes snapped to mine a flicker of longing passed the grey and green irises before she jerked her head back, breaking the connection. Confusion plagued her features before her eyes bore into mine searching and I was unable to look away. I could see the question clearly in her eyes.
What do you want from me?
"Levi!" Erwin's commanding voice released me from her spell "We're pulling out!"
What does he mean by that? Surely, we hadn't advanced enough for a retreat, in fact, I'm damn sure we haven't. What the hell is he thinking?
"Sir?" Aurora asked, standing to her feet and saluting, my confusion clearly shared at the order. Dropping down from the buildings around us, Miche and Rian landed perfectly and Aurora went to take her place by her brother's side, the large man lifting his hands to her chin before tilting her face, assessing for any injuries. She gave him a small smile, the gesture seemed oddly out of place, almost forced.
"It's not my blood" she muttered before gently removing his hands and giving them a reassuring squeeze before saluting Miche. I turned my attention back to Erwin, there was no way in hell I was retreating now, not with dead soldiers at our feet with not a damn thing to show for it.
"What do you mean? You damn well know that we can push further! Our men didn't die to pave our retreat!" I snapped but not pushing the subject further, something in Erwin's eyes spoke of something far greater afoot here.
"There's a swarm of titans moving north" Erwin declared, "They are bearing down on the city of Trost".
No, it can't be.
"It's just like five years ago, something tells me this is going to be bad. For all we know the walls have already been reduced to rubble" Erwin stared off in the direction we had come, no doubt already planning our counterattack, we would have to move now.
"Rian" Aurora whispered fearfully bringing her back to my attention, her face draining rapidly of colour, her wide eyes fixated on her brother's "They're in Trost".