Alex woke up to the cold reminder of what he'd done the night before as he rolled over to an empty bed. His heart was heavy in his chest as he remembered what he'd said the night before. He shouldn't have shouted at her, no matter how frustrated he was and he cursed at himself for redirecting his anger at Miles to her.
She didn't speak anymore than those two words to him when he returned. "Goodnight Alex." It stung like a wasp sting. Like he'd stepped on glass or pricked his finger on a cactus needle. She wouldn't look at him, wouldn't turn over and he didn't dare try to hold her that night. He kept apologising but he never got a response. He knew he'd truly upset her.
He felt horrible climbing into bed next to her, feeling like he didn't deserve to sleep by her side after going off at her. She didn't flinch away from him when he lay down but she stayed right on the edge of the bed the entire night.
"Rosanna?" Alex had said, his voice aching as he looked at her sleeping figure in the dark. "Please...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you baby..." he spoke helplessly into the dark. Rosanna didn't want to ignore him because she knew it would make him feel horrible but her face was already covered with tears and she'd already told herself she wanted Alex to sleep it off before she spoke to him.
Alex had then sighed and laid on his back, biting his bottom lip hard as he felt the back of his eyes burn and water as the result of his actions settled in. He wanted to punch himself in the face for hurting Rosanna. He had just sat there, replayed what he'd said to her over and over and how much he wished he'd just calmed down like she said. You fucking asshole. He was awake until his body forced him to sleep and now awake, that awful feeling had made a return.
He sat upright and looked around the room finding it...empty. The en-suite door was still open and he could see inside that Rosanna wasn't in there. Alex sighed and rested his head in his hands, cursing at himself and feeling a thunderstorm settle over his mind. He didn't know what to do with himself. He didn't know if she would forgive him, or when she would.
He felt himself start crying again as he thought of how Rosanna must've felt in that moment. He'd never yelled at her before and he'd never planned to. It felt awful. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and got up off the bed, walking over to the en-suite and turning on the light.
His phone was still in the sink and now had a crack creeping from the upper right corner of the screen. "Fucking hell," Alex sighed to himself and moved the phone out of the sink. What the fuck is wrong with you? He couldn't stop thinking about what Miles had said either. It bruised him to hear that his own friend had tried to ruin his relationship with the love of his life. He never thought of Miles as so sour.
Washing over his face with cold water Alex looked at his reflection in the mirror and shamed himself for crying when he was the one that hurt Rosanna. Even though he was still hurting about what Miles had done, all he could focus on was Rosanna's feelings.
Taking a deep breath Alex walked out of his and Rosanna's room and prayed to god that she would be somewhere about the house. Step by step he made his way into the living room where he saw Jude, Madeleine and Mil sitting at the dining table that sat between the living room and kitchen.
"Oh! Morning Alexander," Jude smiled. "Did you sleep well?"
Alex forced a smile, "yeah."
"Feel free to help yourself to breakfast dear," Jude said. "The rest of the men have gone off to the bottle shop, you're lucky Lloyd let you sleep in," Jude smiled.
Alex made himself toast in the kitchen to avoid looking for Rosanna — not wanting to concern her family that there was anything wrong between them. He did however, wonder where she was and if she was alright.
Alex sighed, buttering his sad piece of toast and feeling like utter shit. He felt like he'd ruined her Christmas and had to stop himself from tearing up when he thought about her. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he felt two warm arms hug around his waist from behind and a familiar scent hit his nose. He closed his eyes briefly, bathing in the warmth and then turned around remembering he owed her an explanation.
Rosanna wasn't mad at Alex anymore, she was barely hurt either because she knew it was accidental and that he was sorry. As he turned to face her she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
"Ro..." Alex started but was quickly interrupted.
"Let's talk outside," Rosanna said and held his hand, leading him out the back door to the patio where it was nothing but furniture and snow.
Closing the door behind her Rosanna walked Alex a few steps away from the house before she turned and looked at him.
"Rosanna, I'm so sorry," spilled out of Alex's mouth. "I shouldn't have yelled at you honey, I should've calmed down. I didn't mean to yell at you I was just frustrated with Miles and I'm so sorry I hurt you. I understand that you're upset but I'm so sorry baby, I never meant to hurt you." Alex's eyes were watering as he spoke and a lump was growing in his throat.
Rosanna's eyebrows were drawn together and tilted up at the centre of her face. She hated seeing him cry. She put a hand on his cheek and moved his face to look up at her. "I'm not mad at you. What did he say Al? Why were you so upset?"
Alex swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn't want Rosanna to hate Miles but he wasn't going to hide anything from her. So he told her what Miles had called him up to say and when he was finished, Rosanna was at a loss for words. She didn't know what to say.
"And as fucked as it is I don't want you to hate him," Alex said. "And I know you should and I should but...honestly...I don't know what to think."
Rosanna nodded thoughtfully and looked at her feet, trying to gather her thoughts on what Alex had just told her. She'd always liked Miles and now...she didn't know how she was supposed to react. No wonder Alex was so upset. She didn't want to believe that Miles had actually done such a thing and tried to make excuses for it in her head that he just wanted to cover for Taylor or something like that. She always saw him as too nice to do anything like that.
"I'm so sorry Al," Rosanna said and put a hand on his cheek. "No wonder why you were so upset."
Alex sighed and sunk his face into her hand, "I'm sorry love, I shouldn't have gotten that angry."
"But you had every reason to be," Rosanna said and looked up into his eyes, his lips turning purple in the cold.
"I know but...I should've calmed down like you said and I'm sorry I got so worked up," Alex said remorsefully.
"Stop beating yourself up Al," Rosanna said and moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I get why you were upset, I don't blame you for getting upset because it's what anyone would've done in that situation. And I'm not mad at you for yelling at me, it just hurt in the moment."
Alex's heart broke. "I'm so sorry Rosanna," he said desperately. "I'll never yell at you again and I'm sorry I did, I promise."
"Well don't say that," Rosanna said, a cheeky smile on her lips, "you're allowed to yell at me if say...I'm not paying attention to the road, or...if you're calling out to me from across a venue...or..."
"I'm not gonna yell at you," Alex said. "I never want to ever again. Under any circumstance."
Rosanna saw the sadness in his eyes, he really felt like shit. She pulled into his chest and hugged him tight, bathing in the warmth his body provided as she comforted him. Alex let out a deep exhale as he wrapped his arms around Rosanna and held her tight to his chest, not wanting to let go. She was so forgiving and understanding that Alex wasn't sure whether he felt relieved or guilty. As he moved down to look at her he felt immediate safety in the look in her eyes. She placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Their lips were cold to the touch but as they kiss longer and longer, their lips became the most heated part of their bodies.
Rosanna hadn't been able to kiss Alex like that since she'd gotten to Leeds and by god did she miss it. The small things he did always drove her crazy. The way he'd tilt his head to the side to kiss her deeper. The way he'd gently lick her bottom lip and pull her into him by her waist.
They ended their stay with Rosanna's family on a good note. Jude cried as Alex and Rosanna left, hugging them both a tight goodbye. She thanked Alex for making Rosanna the happiest girl in the world as they hopped into the car and told him she was excited to see him again soon.
Now that Alex had told Rosanna about what Miles had told him, he felt comfortable to talk to her about it and whether or not he should forgive Miles and whether she forgave Miles as well.
They were now due to stay two nights in London for New Years where they'd meet up with Matt and Breana before heading back up to Sheffield for Alex's birthday.
The new year consisted of not much more than alcohol, sex and fireworks. The four of them partied hard and woke up with throbbing headaches in the morning — not regretting a thing. Luckily, this time there was no surprise tattoos to wake up to.
They drove up to Sheffield in Matt's car as he too was heading back to see family and had been there over Christmas and prior to driving down to London for New Years. After a three and a half hour drive, Matt kindly dropped Alex and Rosanna at Alex's old apartment block and told them he'd see them soon.
There was this rush of excitement as they entered Sheffield. Both of them had missed it dearly since they had moved away and stepping back into Alex's old apartment gave them this sense of comfort they hadn't felt anywhere else. Everything was silent and untouched as they entered. Everything undisturbed and left exactly where they left it all months ago.
After a short recline together on the settee, the two of them finally got up and jumped in Alex's car that he left, and headed towards his parent's house in High Green.
"Mum won't stop talking about seeing ya," Alex said as he steadily drove the car. "I think she's more excited to see you than me."
Rosanna laughed, "course she is. Everyone loves me."
"Not wrong," Alex smiled.
Alex's parent's house was a beautiful little cottage, the front lawn covered in greenery that had now been coated in a thick layer of snow. The air was crisp and reddened the tips of their noses as they stepped out of the car. Alex knocked on the front door and they were immediately greeted with his mother, Penny's, beaming face.
"Oh! I'm so happy to see you two!" She exclaimed and pulled them both into a joint hug, making Alex chuckle as he hugged his mother back.
"Hey mum," he smiled as she gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"How are you two?" Penny smiled, "It's been so long since I last saw you darlings! Oh Rosanna, you look gorgeous, love!"
Rosanna smiled, "thank you," and hugged her again.
"Come on inside," Penny smiled and moved out of the doorway, "your dad will be thrilled to see you two," she said to Alex as he and Rosanna pulled in their luggage and stepped into the warmth of the house and out of the cold outside.
"Dave! Your son's here!" Penny called through the house as she locked the front door.
As Alex and Rosanna walked down the hallway, his father rose out of his seat and caught them as they walked into the living room.
"Hey dad," Alex smiled and gave his father a tight hug.
"Good to see you," his dad, David, smiled and pat his son on the back. He then turned to Rosanna and smiled, "how are you, Rosanna?"
"I'm great thank you," she smiled and gave him a welcoming hug.
"Been awhile since we've seen you two," he said and pat Alex on the arm. "Still getting used to the haircut," he said. Alex chuckled and ran his fingers through his quiff.
Penny showed them to the guest room that she'd set up for them to stay in and it just so happened to be Alex's old bedroom from when he was a teenager. His parents hadn't moved houses for years. Rosanna still remembered the place from the first time she met David and Penny.
All of his old posters and decorations were still up but the furniture had all been changed. There was now a double bed instead of a single and his wardrobe was now replaced with a chest of drawers. Alex and Rosanna placed their suitcases inside and then joined Penny and David around their living room settees for a chat. Alex sat with Rosanna by his side, hugging her close to his side as he told his parents about the tour he'd just been on.
Then got to the part where Penny asked to hear how they confessed their feelings to each other. She kept saying how she always saw something between them and always wondered if they ever saw it themselves. David also gave Alex the "make sure you treat her like royalty" talk, telling him "if you're lucky enough to find a rose in a field of weeds, take care of it with everything you've got."
The two of them lay side by side in bed that night, Alex lying flat on his back as Rosanna lay on her side, looking down at him. She was just smiling and admiring his face as he talked to her about nothing in particular.
"Excited about your birthday?" Rosanna smiled, running her fingers through his hair — it was getting longer.
Alex stifled a laugh, "should I be?"
Rosanna shrugged. "It just means getting even older," Alex said. "I dunno if I'm ready to be another step closer to thirty."
"Don't think of it like that," Rosanna said and rolled her eyes playfully. "Your life's only starting."
Alex chuckled and reached a hand up to her face, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear. "I'm excited to spent it with you as me girlfriend but," he said.
"Why? Cause you get birthday sex?" Rosanna teased, biting her bottom lip.
Alex chuckled, "didn't know that was on the table. But I guess it's a benefit."
Rosanna smiled cheekily and moved the hand in his hair to his chest. "Well I got it on my birthday so it's only fitting that I return the favour."
Alex chuckled and leant his head up, kissing her gently and then resting his head back on the pillow. "I love you sweetheart," he said softly.
Rosanna smiled and kissed him hard on the mouth, "I love you more than I could ever put into words," she said onto his lips. Alex grinned and kissed her once more, placing a hand on her hip and pulling her body down to his.
The morning of Alex's birthday, Rosanna was up in the early hours of the morning due to excitement. Alex was still fast asleep and she knew he would want to sleep in on his birthday so laid down beside him until he woke up. Surprisingly, he awoke much earlier than anticipated; earlier than he would in any other given day.
"Happy birthday," Rosanna smiled as he looked at her with drowsy eyes. A wide smile spread across Alex's cheeks as his eyes adjusted to the sight of Rosanna next to him. He reached an arm out for her and pulled her onto his chest, holding her tight and kissing her hard — it was the first thing he wanted to do on his birthday.
"I'm surprised," Rosanna smiled, lying on top of him as he hugged her waist, "I thought you'd sleep in till noon cause it's yer birthday."
"I thought about it," Alex said, his voice hoarse from underuse. "But then I thought about lying with you in me arms till noon and that sounded a hell of a lot better."
Rosanna smiled and chuckled, kissing the corner of his lips, "I can't disagree."
"Just pretend to be asleep if mum comes and opens the door," Alex said.
"Just like kids do," Rosanna laughed.
"Exactly," Alex smiled and brushed his nose against hers. "She'll leave us alone if she thinks we're sleeping."
Rosanna laughed and rolled her eyes, lying her head down next to Alex's as he continued to hold her safe in his arms. He pressed his lips into her cheek and mumbled a simple "I love you" as he closed his tired eyes again. Rosanna smiled, contempt in his embrace and nuzzled into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. She placed a careful kiss on his neck, hitting his sweet spot straight away. She knew him like a book. A groan sounded in the back of Alex's throat at the sweet sensation. Rosanna smiled and kissed him there again, biting lightly to trigger another moan to escape his lips.
She moved on top of him again and gently tilted his chin upwards as she kissed all along his neck; quiet exhales between heavy breathing slipping through Alex's parted lips.
"Fucken hell love," Alex groaned and grit his teeth in an attempt not to make any noises as.
"Happy birthday baby," Rosanna smiled and kissed his cheek. Alex chuckled and smiled, hugging her tight. "I have a present, but it depends whether you want it now or in front of yer parents."
"Is it suitable to give to me in front of em?" Alex chuckled.
Rosanna smiled and rolled her eyes, "of course it is. When's Matthew coming?"
Alex shrugged, "probably round six."
Matt and Breana were going to join them all for a dinner out for Alex's birthday.
"Wank," Rosanna pouted. "Guess he's just gonna have to miss it then."
"I'm curious," Alex smiled, thinning his eyes suspiciously.
"You want it now?" Rosanna asked.
Alex thought about it for a second and nodded, "yes please. I'm anticipating now."
Rosanna grinned and excitedly jumped out of the bed, bounding over to her suitcase and pulling things out of it. Alex chuckled and pushed himself up into a seated position as he watched her clamber back on the bed with her hands behind her back. She handed him a card first and Alex was surprised to see that it was fairly empty, nothing more than: To my lovely Alex, Happy 27th birthday you old fuck. Cutting down on words this year because I have another way to say it all to you. I love you, Ro.
Alex looked up at Rosanna quizzically as she bit back a smile. "Please don't hate it," Rosanna said as she moved closer to him.
"I won't," Alex said surely. Taking a deep breath Rosanna moved a closed fist from behind her back and held it out for Alex. She placed something in his hand and upon looking at it, he realised it was a thumb drive. He looked up at her confused.
"Well obviously it has summat on it," she said and rolled her eyes, grabbing her laptop off the ground and sitting next to Alex against the headboard. She passed the laptop to him and he carefully plugged in the drive and opened it up. It was an audio file. Titled: AT x. Rosanna didn't say anything she just smiled as Alex clicked on it and a soft tune came spilling out of the computers speakers.
Alex's heart skipped a beat upon realising what it was. He looked over at her speechless and all she did was smile silently as her melodic voice began ringing through the laptop. Unable to say anything both because of how in shock he was and because he didn't want to break the beautiful symphony in the air, Alex grabbed Rosanna's hand and interlocked their fingers as her song for him kissed his ears blissfully.
"There's things I want to say to you,
So I'll just let you in.
Like when you hold me without hurting me,
You make me feel like cinnamon," Rosanna's voice sang. A soft piano to accompany her along with drums, a base and a very light guitar. The way those instruments were being played sounded all too familiar to Alex. "There's things you always talk about,
Some better not to list.
But when you serenade me with the stars,
You make me feel like cinnamon."
Alex felt overwhelmed to say the least and once the song had ended, he had tears welling in his eyes. He looked over at Rosanna and couldn't express how much more he loved her in that moment.
He didn't say anything so Rosanna said: "since you gave me one for my birthday I thought I should return the favour."
Alex was speechless, all he could do was kiss her. Kiss her hard.
"That was the most beautiful thing...I've ever heard," Alex finally managed causing Rosanna to smile. "Ro..." he said, star struck with amazement.
Rosanna smiled and hugged his arm, "Matt and the guys helped me put it together before we all left for Christmas," she said.
"Rosanna and the Death Ramps," Alex smiled.
"Three quarters of the Death Ramps at least," she corrected.
"Love..." Alex said and turned to look deep into her eyes. "I can't thank you enough...I really...I don't know what to say."
Rosanna just smiled and kissed him softly.
"You can do whatever you want with it," she said, a hand on his face, "it's yours."
Alex smiled, his mind still trapped in her song for him. He couldn't believe the woman in front of him. She was something out of a fairytale. He couldn't comprehend her fantastical existence. How did he get so lucky?
Rosanna smiled as he brought her in for another warm, passionate kiss and added: "as am I."