She remembers it perfectly, the day you were taken; your terrified face begging for help, your eye looking to her for it and the scream that had escaped your lip as you were dragged away. It had haunted her four days, plaguing her dreams and invading her brain. And then you had come back, your limp body carried gently in Steve's arms. Hope had filled her mind and for the next few days everything seemed brighter, better. You were back.
But you weren't, not really.
You had woken up in the medbay on her watch. She had been hovering over you nervously and, when you had opened your eyes, she had been quick to reassure you, tell you that you were safe, you were home. But had just lain there, unmoving, not bothered that you had changed location. Your eyes had flicked to her temporarily as she started to speak, but quickly dropped to the plain white wall in front of you. She had choked on her words and they had stopped abruptly.
"Y/n?" She had whispered quietly, "Y/n it's me, Natasha." Your response had been simple, nothing. Just more blank staring. Not knowing what to do, she had backed out quietly, the afoul weight that had been lifted from her shoulders settling back down.
"What happened to her?" She had asked Steve later. He had looked down uncomfortably and cleared his throat one to many times to be normal.
"She, uh, they, uh, well, he..." he stopped, looking up at Natasha with a terrible despair in his eyes. "We don't know."
Her face closed of and she backed away slightly, eventually turning and marching out of the door stoically. Her posture fell the second she was out of sight and she ran through the compound, trying to escape.
Her first stop was the training room. She locked the doors, the windows and barred the vents. She taped her hands, wanting to be able to use them for her plans later in the evening, and started on the punching bag. It took her all of a minute to send it flying off its hook and crashing into the wall. She had given up then, angrily unwrapping the tape and throwing it to the floor. Ignoring the questioning looks, she had stormed past everyone, grabbing her car keys and throwing the door open. Climbing in the car, she had driven- just a 'small' bit above the speed limit- to the nearest crappy pub she knew of.
After that, it was a blur. Alcohol, guys, alcohol, guys and more alcohol. Of course she had ignored all the guys- her heart was already committed to someone else that she couldn't call her own, but she did have fun messing with them.
And when she finally came home, she was a mess, stumbling, shouting and crashing into walls. Eventually, Steve came down and picked her up, forcing her to her room and putting her to sleep.
She woke up two hours later than she should've with a killer headache. She ignored it completely and dragged herself out of bed, staggering to the training room. She passed the medbay with you in it on her way and felt the whole in her grow bigger. Her eyes begged her to look but she denied them and sped up her pace, running from you.
The next few weeks were spent in the training room, passing you each time and trying to shove the pulling down where she could never find it. Her hands had more blood on them than from all her kills. Scars formed, lining her arms, and bruises prevented her from moving her fingers. But she never stopped, releasing all her anger and tears until all that was left was an empty vessel waiting to be filled.
And that was when she finally came to see you.
She stood outside the glass window looking into your room, her face as stoic as it had been for the past month. Her breath built up on the window, clouding it until she could no longer see you. She moved then, slowly and uncertainly, no sign of it on her face, and touched the glass gently. Her hands shifted by themselves, wiping away the fog. A single tear fell down her face. She made no move to clear it, not even aware that it was there, solely fixed on your limp body.
Your eyes were open, staring at the roof, and your face was deadpanned. If it wasn't for the slow rise and fall of your chest, you would be presumed dead. Her head fell to the glass and her breath became heavy. Your turned slightly to look at the noise and her head went flying back up, her ears picking up the small rustle of sheets. You stared into her eyes for a single moment before turning back to the roof and resuming your lifeless state.
She collapsed. Her body crashed to the floor loudly but no sound reached her ears. A silent scream escaped her lips and tears poured down her face. Her whole figure shook dangerously, threatening to freeze.
She didn't move again that day. Her tears stopped eventually but she was still shaking her. Her eyes had fixed on you again, taking in the position you were in. You hadn't moved, hadn't turned, hadn't shown any sign of witnessing her at all.
And that was the final straw. She stood shakily and turned away, walking away and out of the compound. She continued walking for hours, straight out into the middle of the deserted woods until she fell. She didn't get up, didn't try, she just lay there, her life fading away slowly. Her final position had been the exact same as yours, staring up blankly, unmoving.
A/n
Sooooooooooooo, that was, umm, yeah. Just gonna move on from that quickly. This is the last chapter unfortunately. I will post any requests that come through, but they will not be regular at all.
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