There are somethings that can never be planned right. Sometimes I dream of a perfect life. Me, following my dreams, creating my own family, my own home. Finding my true love. As I look up to the past I feel completely different. There is no plan for the future. Everything is about to come wrong. Everything will change if you stick to the plan. My eyes wet with tears as I make the first and last step that would change my life forever. The covers of my mouth unglue form the lots of hours I have been silent. Silent to myself and to everyone.
I take a deep breath and unglue the parts of upper lips with separate kindly to the bottom.
I pronounce the two words that would change my life, that would make the plan I had in my mind completely blurry until it vanishes.
"I do", followed by silence, like the lightning follows the thunder.
But before I live what is the most important day of my life, I have to take you back to what happened before. Because every ending, good or bad, has always a past behind. A past which even in the smallest details hides the true meaning of it all.
Little shining stars filled the twilight sky like precious diamonds. The silence filled the air with mystery and excitement. The forest seemed as dark as I had never seen it before.
A never ending path was laying in front of my eyes. The ending was so far ahead, it seemed as though I was suspended in the air; between past and future, day and night, braveness and fear, light and darkness. The trees of the forest were so high, they could almost touch the livid sky. The darkness of the night and the light of the moon met together with an impetuous embrace.
But then the dream turned into reality. A man came down my face. From my cheek to my neck. And slowly coming down to my hips. Every part of me knew it was supposed to belong to him. My heart to his. My mouth to his lips. My body to his arms.
I walked along the path, traced with little stones like flowers in spring. Hand in hand as though the world belonged to us. Every little part of the world seemed different now. I didn't know were I was heading neither I knew why I was there, the only memories that appeared in my mind, were washed away and darkened like waves wash away shells forever. At that same instant my eyes filled with tears. A strange feeling ran through my body. A feeling of error, misunderstanding made me shake as weakly as a leaf. His hand slowly faded away in the night. I was alone sad. And only two paths were ahead of me. I didn't know what to take and with my wyes closed I chose the nearest one.
Suddenly, all my thoughts were mixed together and faded away from my mind. The image of my family, my twin sister, my boyfriend were all fuzzy and far away from me. I ran through the path trying to catch them but without success.
I held my breath and opened my eyes. I was laying in my bed.
"It's only a dream Isla" I told myself.
But inside me a total different thought appeared in my mind. The sound of my alarm rumbled in my head and I stretched my arm to switch it off. I look at my calendar held on the wall and crossed the day out. Finally it was the day. The most important day of my life.
My.
Dream.
Was.
Becoming.
True.
I grabbed my clothes and rushed outside to see my land in the light of the day.
"Isla! Where are you going? You have to eat something. Your flight is in about 2 hours." I hear the voice of my sister from downstairs, in the kitchen.
"I know I was just going for a walk" I say and without even waiting for her response I open the door of my house and let the warm air enter inside.
The nature is even green today as if it already knows I am about to go away. Maybe for the rest of my life, maybe for just a period of time. It's like a small part of me has changed in the past few years. It seems so strange to leave my house not to go to school, or to leave for a small trip with my classmates. All my youth in high school is turning into an ever lasting memory rather than an adventure I haven't finished yet. It's just like coming at the end of a trip and realising that it had ended and that I am living in the future now. The future that for a very long time I have been thinking about and planning and dreaming and organising. Now it's just happening. It feels like I never even thought about living in my future. It was just a goal so far away from me, I had to be prepared and organised first. The years have passed so quickly I didn't even realise I am almost graduating and in some years from now I will be having a house of my own and maybe even a family of mine.
I just haven't realised how my life was about to change forever.