You were surprised to find the Doctor sitting outside your door, leaning back on it with his head in his hands. Tears stained his cheeks, his hair ruffled as much as his suit.
You sit next to him, legs crossed underneath you as you try to form words. He looks up, his old brown eyes red and puffy, tears lining them.
You give him a small smile, it was forced but it was a smile nonetheless. His lips quirked up slightly but his eyes failed him, the tears lining them slipped down his cheeks, joining the rest of the tear stains.
Gingerly you bring your hands up to cup his face, using your thumbs to wipe away his tears. At this moment he looked so beyond human, hurt beyond repair, betrayal of the worst degree.
He looked like John, the Doctor was John, deep down there was a history teacher that you fell in love with. It wasn't like you loved John first, you had loved the Doctor since you first met him, in the middle of Winchester wearing a leather jacket and a green jumper.
It was like John said, every time you heard the Doctors name your face lit up like a firework display. Even though he and John were the same person you really did love two different people, not many people can say they're in a love triangle with two people who are also the same person.
"You know the first time I properly talked to John was a little bit like this. I found him under a stairwell, tears in his eyes, he felt so lost." You say with a small smile, you remove your hands from the Doctors face and take his hand in yours.
"I remember. You told him he was never really lost if someone was there to help find his way." The Doctor whispered, his voice so soft it was almost unrecognisable. His brown eyes look at your entwined hands, a frown on his face.
You nod, "Do you remember what else I said?"
The Doctor shakes his head, he looked at his bedroom door, deep in thought.
"It's coming to me in bits and pieces," he sighs, his head leant against your door, eyes shut.
"I told him I had a friend that I loved very much but he was gone and I didn't know when he was going to come back," you pause and look at the Doctors face, a small smile on his lips, "I told him of all the times you showed me the way, took me to all the right places and then I told him I'd show him the way. If he ever need me, anytime, anywhere, I'd help."
The Doctor peeks one eye open to look at you, the sad smile on your face and the forming tears in your eyes, "I'm sorry," he says quietly, you nod and scoot closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and his around your waist.
"I remember the very last time you two were alone together," your breathing hitches, the Doctors hearts beat slightly faster against your chest. "Even though they wouldn't technically be mine, if you do become pregnant, I'll be there every step of the way."
You smile into his shoulder. "I'd like that," you kiss his cheek and pull away from the hug. "Can I ask you something?"
The Doctor nods, eyes watching you intently.
"Why do you hate John so much?" You question, the Doctors face pales except for the blush of his cheeks.
"Iwantedtobeyourfirsteverythingnothimiguessyoucouldsayiwasjealousbutletsforgetiwas," he says in a rush, you blink.
"I didn't catch a word of that," you say, leaning your back against your door.
The Doctor takes a breath, like he's psyching himself up, "I wanted our first everything to be with me but our first kiss was wasn't with me, the first time we had sex wasn't with me, and now our first kid might not be with me either."
Your mouth fell open, you could just tell Martha was having an 'I told you so' moment I her room.
The Doctor shuffled nervously under your gaze, "I'm sorry, I didn't think. I just remember you telling John that you loved me and I do really love you b-" you press your lips to his, cutting him off. The Doctor yelped in shock but soon kissed back, you could feel his smile against your lips.
You pull away, a smile on your face, "I love you too"
Part 4 coming soon!