Recap-
"(Y/n), I love you. Thank you for loving me too, personally I thought you were the most brilliant person I have ever met. If the Doctor doesn't think that too then I'm not truly him." He says softly, tears fall down your cheeks for the millionth time that night as he takes your hand in his and places a kiss to it.
He leans down, his lips against your ear. "Might I add that you were amazing in bed, if you do end up pregnant please convince me to care." John whispers, you smile and kiss his cheek.
He steps away from all of you, giving you one last smile before opening the watch and being engulfed in gold.
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The Doctor shook for a bit, his head back and his arms curled around himself. You wanted to go to him and hold him in your arms but he wasn't John anymore, the man standing in front of you no longer loved you. You could only hope he didn't remember that you and John were together.
Even worse the man in front of you was no longer the man you had had sex with less than 10 minutes ago.
The Doctor came to a halt, his eyes wide as he looked around the room, he gave Martha and Tim a smile but when he looked at you his face was blank. Both of you shared awkward eye contact for a moment before he cleared his throat and headed towards the front door.
Martha looked at you sadly and Tim just looked confused.
"I'm guessing you and John had sex," Martha whispered in your ear, you nod as you try to keep tears from falling. Martha sighed and pulled you into a hug, you cry into her shoulder as Tim watched even more confused from the corner. "He'll come around."
You just shake your head and let Martha lead you out of the cottage and towards the Tardis.
------couple hours later-------
You sit in the captains chair after having had a shower and changed into different clothes for the first time in what felt like forever. Martha was waiting outside the Tardis for the Doctor to return whilst you were sat inside, trying to figure out what to tell the Doctor, how would you explain yourself to a man you did and didn't have sex with.
He obviously remembered everything that had happened otherwise he might have at least smiled at you, the thought of his disgust brought tears to your eyes. The man you had loved for years now hated you, you didn't blame him but it still hurt.
It felt like you had been staring at the Tardis console for hours, the light blue glow of the ship calming you slightly.
The Tardis' door creaks open, Martha pokes her head in, "He's just coming up the hill so if you want to leave here I suggest you go now." she says softly, you just shake your head and fix your gaze to the floor.
Tim was outside talking to Martha, he had insisted on meeting the actual Doctor, he had tried to say it quietly as he didn't want to upset you but you heard anyway and assured him it was ok.
The truth is that you lied. John was gone, that sounds super selfish but you loved that man so much. It wasn't fair on him or you but he didn't have a choice and you knew that, it was either be together and possibly have a future or let the whole of England be burnt to the ground as the Family searched for him.
The Tardis door creaked open once again, revealing Martha who was a little shocked to still see you sitting there. The Doctor followed as he said his goodbyes to Tim, he turned around from closing the door, the smile on his face wiped as he saw you.
Martha mumbled something about going to her room, as she passed she gave you a sad smile and whispered a "good luck".
The Doctor walked towards the console, refusing to look at you as he passed, you huff and roll your eyes.
You push yourself up from your seat and stand behind him, he fiddles with a leaver, anything to stop himself from looking at you.
"Please look at me," you whispered, he could hear the pain in your voice and it broke his hearts. The Doctor shakes his head as he slips his coat off and throws it over a banister.
His voice cracks, "I can't be him, I'm not him." he looks at you, his brown eyes looking into your (e/c) ones. Your breathing hitches and you step back.
"I never asked you to be." you say, your voice all but a tremble. You look down at the floor and shove your hands in your jacket pockets, a soft sigh escapes your lips as you think of what to say, you really didn't want to fight with him.
"I remember everything you said to him, you loved him, he loved you so much. I can't look at you without feeling everything he did, I shouldn't feel any of that because it wasn't me. I don't love you." he whispers, even though he knew that was a lie. The pain on your face brought tears to his eyes.
You couldn't stop the tears falling down your cheeks, "You know, in the end John was braver than you are, he wasn't a coward and he didn't hide. I'll be in my room if you need me," you snap as you march off to your room next to Martha's and over from the Doctors.
As you pass Martha's door it opens and she pulls you inside, instantly engulfing you in a hug as you breakdown in her arms.
"He's a liar, I know he loves you, he told me. I think he's just hurt that you loved John." Martha states as she pulls you towards her bed, patting the spot infront of her.
You shake your head, "If he loved me I wouldn't be crying. I loved him for years but he didn't look at me once, the second he met Rose it was like I didn't even exist." you whimper, placing your head in your hands.
Martha leans back against her pillows, "I think he was jealous,"
You laugh.
"Of himself, I doubt it." Martha rolls her eyes.
"It wasn't really him though was it? The man you have spent the last few weeks with was John Smith, an history teacher at an all boys school in England." Martha says matter of factly, her arms crossed over her chest. You nod but still deny anything towards the Doctor actually caring.
"Say he did actually love me, which he doesn't," you pause and Martha rolls here eyes, "It doesn't give him the right to treat me like shit, I watched him and Rose flirt for a couple of years and said nothing. I date another version of himself and he acts out like a child." you huff, your tears had halted, replaced by the anger you felt bubbling inside of you.
Martha sits up again, "Talk to him." you frown. "I'm not taking no for an answer, either you talk to him or I do." she orders.
You sigh and stand from her bed, muttering a "fine" as you open her door and step out into the endless corridors.
Part 3 and 4 or just one more part?