It's been three years. Three long years since I last saw him. Three agonizingly long years since...it's been so long. After all this time, I never thought I'd see him again. I never thought I'd see his face again or hear his voice but sure enough, there he was that night. There he was, surrounded by the crowd as his gaze remained trained on the distant lanterns. That is until he brought his gaze to me.
I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a rough sigh. The cool breeze rolls in off the ocean as the morning sun wraps me in a warm embrace. Usually, the roaring of the waves and the touch of the wind would be enough to clear my mind, but not today. Not this time. My thoughts are too jumbled and scrambled up for that.
Memories dash through my mind, my heart recalling everything from every smile to every kiss to every touch. Memories I've tried so hard to suppress for my sanity's sake. But seeing him...it did something to me. It caused a part of me to crack, allowing for an entire tidal wave of emotions to burst through the seams. How I maintained composure while I got Yato and me out of there before he approached us is beyond me. Hell, I barely had time to say goodbye to Hiyori and Hiroki. But I did it. And now here I am, standing before the ocean the morning after.
Here I am just drowning in my emotions and memories. Here I am just trying to keep myself pulled together. Here I am just trying to not fall back into myself as I did all those years ago. Trying being the keyword.
"Y/N," a voice calls from behind me, causing me to turn.
Walking toward me with a happy Virginia eagerly at his side is Mr. Sui. He seems to be happy, the smile on his lips warming my heart. Over the last couple of months I've lived and worked in Nora, I've grown to enjoy Mr. Sui's presence. There's a calming aura about him that typically disarms me, but today...today there's no soothing me. Not with all that's swirling in my head. Still, I fake a smile and hope he can't see through my defenses. Hoping and praying being all I can do.
"Mr. Sui," I say, shoving my hands into my pockets. "Enjoying a nice morning walk?"
"Very much so," he nods. "How was the festival? Did you girls enjoy yourselves? I know Hiyori was talking about it all week."
I can feel my heart drop into my stomach. I forgot that Hiyori had told him about our plans to go to the festival. Honestly, I wasn't really wanting to talk about it. Sure, it had been fun and something new, but after seeing him...all I wanted was to leave. So, how could I talk about that? How could I tell this kind old man about how I wanted bail last night? I guess...I guess I just avoid it.
I shrug, "It was nice. There were a lot of fun games and good food."
He observes me. "That's good. Did your dates enjoy themselves? I understand you got to meet Hiroki. By my understanding, Hiyori's been wanting you to meet him."
"Yeah. He's very nice and they're a very cute couple," I answer, still faking my best smile.
"That's what I've been told," he chuckles. "How about your date? Did he have a good time?"
I almost forgot about Yato. I mean, I didn't forget about him necessarily, but more that he was my date last night. To be truthful, I have no problem discussing Hiyori and Hiroki, but I wasn't planning on discussing my fake date with Yato. Not with Mr. Sui.
"I must say, I wasn't aware you were seeing anyone, but it's good to see that you're meeting people," Mr. Sui continues.
I shrug, "Yeah. It's...it's...ugh. I'm sorry. I can't lie. It wasn't a real date. He's just a friend that was doing a favor for me." I bring my eyes to his dark orbs. "I just didn't want Hiyori to try to hook me up with a stranger and she's been so determined for a double date. I know it looks bad, but –"
Mr. Sui holds a hand up in front of me and chuckles, "Y/N, relax. You owe me no explanation, but I understand where you're coming from with this." He holds Virginia's leash as she approaches me, nudging her nose against my hand. I smile and pet her as her owner adds, "You just wanted to make your friend happy, though I must admit, I'm relieved to hear that you have made another friend. This young man and you must be close if he was willing to do that for you."
I can't tell Mr. Sui the truth. Not the whole one. I can't tell him that Yato was merely granting a wish and nor can I tell him that Yato isn't even a human. So, as far as Mr. Sui is concerned, Yato is simply a human friend who helped me out. That's all. That's all he needs to know.
"Yeah," I nod, lying through my teeth. "I'd say we are."
"It's good to have someone close enough to do something like that," he continues. "Granted, it's still not ideal to deceive Hiyori, but I do understand your reasoning."
"You do?" I ask quizzically.
"Mmm-hmm," he hums. "But a word of advice for the youth. Be careful when doing something like this. You don't know whose feelings you may damage in the long run. Would it be hers or his?" He meets my gaze once again. "Just be cautious."
Be cautious? About what? I mean, yeah, I can see what he means when it comes to Hiyori. Small fib or not, it's not the way to build a friendship. But cautious with Yato? That seems ridiculous. There's nothing to worry about there. At least, I don't think I need to be.
"I understand, Mr. Sui," I nod. "Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it, really. Thank you."
He waves his hands dismissively, "Don't mention it. Well, unfortunately, I must cut our conversation short. I have business to attend to."
"Understandable," I say.
"Have a good day, Y/N," Mr. Sui smiles. "I will see you tomorrow."
"See you then," I call back, watching as Mr. Sui and Virginia both make their leave.
I stand and watch, listening as the waves crash against the sandy shores. Eventually, the duo leaves my vision, once again leaving me in solitude. Aside from the oceanic lullaby, I am swaddled in the silence as the cool breeze races around me. The fake smile is still plastered on my lips, but the pain still bubbles deep within my gut. A twinge pulls at my chest as my breathing grows hoarse, my eyes burning from the forming tears.
I fight my best to stay composed but eventually lose hold of myself and gasp, "Fuck."
I lean over, wrapping my arms around myself as the tears I've been fighting break through the barrier. They feel hot against my skin, the salt burning my eyes. I bite down on my bottom lip, fighting my best to muffle my cries. But it's hopeless. I'm sobbing and there's no stopping myself. This brokenness that I've been fighting has caught up to me. It's caught up to me and now I'm crumbling.
"Damn it, damn it, damn it," I snarl, my chest heaving. "Damn it. Why? Why did I have to see him? Damn it!"
My knees buckle and I fall to the cold sand, but I don't care. I don't care if the cold gale circles me. I don't care if I may seem crazy. I don't care if anyone sees me. I just don't care. All I do is cry and sob and gasp as my chest feels tighter and tighter. It feels as if I may die, though that's just me being dramatic.
But that doesn't take the pain away.
I continue to cry until I hear a familiar voice call, "Y/N? Y/N, is that you? It is. Wh-what's wrong? Are you crying? Yato! I think something's wrong with Y/N!"
I bury my face so that I can't see Yukine, though I can feel his eyes lingering on me. I wish more than anything that he didn't see me like this, but it's too late. He has.
"What are you yelling about?" Yato scoffs, though I don't look up.
"I-it's Y/N," Yukine stammers. "S-she's...she's over there, crying. I think something's—hey, where are you going? Yato?"
I remain trembling on the ground, listening as someone runs toward me. I don't need to look up to know who it is. I don't need to see him to know it's him. I just know it's him.
"Y/N? Y/N, what's wrong?" Yato pants, stopping in front of me. "Y/N answer me. What happened? Are you hurt? What happened?"
I want to answer. I want to tell him that I'm fine and that he can leave. I want to, but I can't. I just continue to cry and sob.
"Y/N," Yato whispers, kneeling beside me. "Y/N, say somethin'. What –"
Not thinking, I fling myself at him, burying my face in his chest as I continue to sob. His muscles go tense upon this, but he eventually relaxes, wrapping his arms around me as he strokes my hair.
"There, there," he sighs. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay." I can feel him look to his regalia. "Yukine, take a raincheck on that job." He loops his arms around me and lifts me up, adding, "We have something more important to do."
**Bello my wonderful lovelies! Looks like seeing that familiar face has really gotten to Y/N. Now, Yato and Yukine are there. What do you think will happen? Any idea what caused all this? Feel free to make a guess! Thank you so, so, soooo much for everything! I truly appreciate all your support! Y'all are the cat's pajamas! Wuv yous!! <3**
-Noel Ross