When I wake, it's to the uncomfortable pressure laying on my bladder, and twitchy feet brushing against my calves. I peel my body away from Christian's watching as the soft wisps of his hair brush lazily against the pink-pout of his lips. The boy mumbles something incoherently; smacking his lips in his sleep. A heartfelt sigh tumbles from my lips and I crawl away from the thrown comforters and towards the slow-moving pictures of a movie. The portable DVD player is playing an old Christmas movie which has fuzzy colors and a whimsy aesthetic look, pleasing to the eyes. The soundtrack is soothing familiar in a sense, even though I've never heard it before. My fingers trace over the small rectangular screen, and then I press the black pause button.
The library goes eerily silent, but it doesn't remain that way for long. Christian whimpers sitting up from the mountain of blankets haloed around his head, and he cries softly while rubbing his balled-up fist to his eyes. My gut lurches, and I press over the triangle of the DVD player. The Christmas song resumes, lulling and gentling. It was odd for a Christmas movie to be played in July, but if that is what he wanted so be it.
"Sorry honey," I crawl back over fast, burning my knees against the carpet in the process. A stray tear drips down his golden-olive skin and my fingers reach up to wipe it away. "Shh go back to sleep sweetie." I guide him back down onto the pillow, tugging the blankets up and over his shoulders. With precise movement, I tuck the boy back in and card my fingers through the baby-soft roots of his hair. After a moment of soft stuttered breaths and tiny head nuzzles, Christian falls asleep again, with his thumb tucked close to his lips, and a soft maa sound slipping past his lips. Certain he's fast asleep, I scoop my phone up checking the percentage, 15% and then slip through the bookshelf aisles until I'm face-to-face with the large wooden door. I swipe through my notifications, breezing past the locations on Ezra's whereabouts with something more concerning plaguing my mind. With hesitant fingers, I click through my contacts. And I swallow anxiously when my Ma's pictured icon pops up.
The shake in my hands causes the fleshy part of my finger to press against the overheated glass of my phone. And the device flickers black for one second, two seconds, three seconds, before lighting back up in white, ringing shrill in my ear. My throat feels sticky-clogged, and I find myself counting the number of times the phone rings before a familiar voice answers. I lurch.
"Hey, Ma." I blink fiercely. Why are you getting so emotional? Stop jumping to conclusions. My mother exclaims in both excitement and worry, her voice thick with a comforting essence.
"Oh baby, I read the paper and seen you on about every news broadcasting station. Your cousins won't stop talkin about you now, which aint doing no one any good. You're aunt even had the nerve to come up in this house talkin about some family compensation, cause of them dance lessons she done taught you." Ma sucks her teeth. The connection goes staticky before smoothing out to normal.
"Anyhow, I've been tryin to reach you, but the press been hounding the phone, god only knows how they got my number, but I'm just blessed we're finally getting into contact with one another. How have you been baby doll, I was worried." I yank the library door open, stepping into the much cooler area of the hall. I make my way towards the large television and the couch pit.
"I'm good, I live in this big mansion now with about seven others. I'm being taught how to be a proper Dom and all the basics," My heart thumps viciously behind my ribs. "And...and I have a submissive now. His name is Ezra and he's the only S ranked sub living in America right now, there's another but he lives in France and his stay is only temporary." My mama falls silent, her breath soft and crisp through the speakers of the phone. I continue.
"I'm befriending most of the inhabitants, and I think I'm really connecting with them even though it's been about three days since I moved in..." God, I want to ask. I want to ask, and I want answers. Who was this mysterious dinosaur lady in my life, who was she and what happened to her? "It's supposedly rare to be born a higher rank than your parents, but I know a pair of twins whose got this rare genetic mutation thing going on. They live here at the mansion." My Ma makes her signature wincing sound, the sound which only happens when she's sad and in pain. I can only imagine the look in her eyes, the down curve of her lips, the resignation thrumming through her veins. My bottom lip wobbles without my consent.
"Amanita—"
"Who was she?" I want to add to the question, but deep down I know I don't need too. She knows exactly who I'm talking about, and maybe...maybe through all these years she's been building herself up for this moment. This one moment.
"She was a troubled woman who had too much on her plate. Always moving and jumping from city to city, state to state. When I got her she was sixteen, still so young and yet she came to me with a vicious view on the world. She'd been hurting and she wanted others to hurt too. After her first year with me, she evolved. Stopped hating so much and started opening up, the change in her attitude and demeanor was gigantic. And then she fell in love. His name was Vinny. He was a strong-willed Dom freshly graduated from the high school mandatory program, certified and sadly qualified to take on a sub," The closer I get to the pillow pit, the farther the room seems to span, stretching until the walls around the area blacken with deep shadowed colors and tilting shapes.
"She--she really took to him, took his collar, and tried bonding with him, but her rank his...it just wasn't compatible. Anger makes people do scary things Ama, and Vinny was constantly angry, so angry. She came home to me one night beaten bad and bruised, she cried about how their bond wasn't taking as it should, how he got angry and beat her. Ignored her safe word and took from her. Took something very precious very personal, something that no one should just take. A few weeks passed and she was acting strange. And then a few more weeks passed by and then there was a confirmation. You." My legs buckle and I swear my breath stops, doesn't stutter, doesn't slow down, just stops. I can feel my fingers slacken around the case of my phone, easing, easing until the device feels too heavy to hold on to. And then it drops, landing on a specific angle to where the screen shatters into a hundred million pieces of stardust.
Ama'Rose? My Ma's voice sounds so far away, somewhere completely different, like a different dimension. She calls my name repeatedly with watery vocals and desperate hiccups in her voice.
"Where?" I whimper tucking my hands into the pits of my arms. I'm freezing, bones quaking, goosebumps littering my skin. I want to pick my phone up again, but I literally cannot feel my fingers. All that is there is an unpleasant numbness which leaves a phantom pain in my joints, in the deep marrow of my bones.
"Where is she?" And now the phone is back in my palms, digging in little minuscule shards of glass which feel like razor splinters, tiny drops of blood smear against the screen, seeping between each and every crack. I almost drop the phone again.
"I adopted her at seventeen and we tried to move past it, she raised you to the best of her abilities and she was learning, but sometimes peoples pasts come back to haunt them. Vinny found out about you and to spite her, he fought for custody," I reach the back door flinging it open; tripping over the stoned walk area because of the nerves coursing through my body and the blurriness clouding my vision. My bare feet immediately sink into the plush mud of the yard, squelching as I trudge to god knows where. "And she wanted to fight, but to get a good lawyer and a solid case...she needed her rank tested. Her records were cleaned, and no-one knew which position she held no-one knew until everyone did. Rank SS a myth or so one thought. When the word got out, the world got flipped onto its side, her story traveled internationally and fast like a virus. She had to leave, the publicity was too much too toxic."
"I—" I'm SS as well. But the words don't leave. I want to hop into one of the many cars packed into the driveway, and I want to leave. Escape to somewhere in solitude, confined, and quiet. Leave behind everything: my rank, my name, my type. Create a new life. Better yet, just start over. Refuse the club Chasity invite, mend the broken friendship I had created. I should have joined online college courses like Ma had suggested, instead of leaving Georgia to move to New York. I should have never agreed to the contract. I should have never agreed to Ezra's contract. My lungs constrict and I grab at the tight constriction of my nightgown, tugging the sheer material away from my body. The fabric scalds my skin. I had to get out of there, away from the house, away from contracts, away from my identity. Wheezing I spin sharply on my heels searching for the road leading away from the manor, but all I see is shadowed trees and twinkling stars. The air whooshes past me twisting my vision and forcing the scenery to shrink small and compact.
"Ma I—"
"Ama'Rose?" I whip around stuffing my shaking fingers into the tightness of my palms. Noma takes a hesitant step towards me, eyebrows drawn in concern brown eyes twinkling. She leans in closer to me whispering, "What's the matter?" The spinning trees and stars come to a standstill so abrupt that it leaves me dropping to my knees, mud caking my skin, melding with the once white of my gown. Digging my fingers into the ground I peer up at the woman through the frizzed coils of my hair, fairy-knotted and tangled. I have to bite the bottom of my lip to keep it from trembling.
"I have to annul my contract." I blurt out wrapping my arms around my body in self-comfort. Noma opens her mouth and then lets it close soft and slow.
"What?"
"My contract with Ezra. I-I have to get it annulled. I can't I can't." Noma shakes her head, pity dancing along the brown hues of her eyes.
"You can't."
"Why not?" I demand. She glances back towards one of the houses and her stance stiffens.
"You're bond is too advance." I wonder if my Ma's still on the phone, listening, waiting.
"What are you talking about?" Noma shifts in her spot.
"The bond, where a submissive and dominant intermingle their aura's and presences creating a blended structure. Once formed a submissive will only yield and submit to their bond partner. Ezra is advancing his bond with you, canceling out others authority on him."
"How is that even possible!" I cry out throwing my arms into the sky. Noma grimaces rubbing the prickled hairs on her arm down.
"Actually, I don't know," She backs away. "But...bonds mean contracts don't get annulled, so I'm sorry to say this but..." I close my eyes and think about my simple life in Georgia. No type, no rank, no untold secrets. No type, no rank, no untold secrets. No type, no rank, no untold secrets. No type, no rank, no untold secrets...
No Ezra.
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Guess I'll do my homework now lmaaaao. Yall I think I bombed this psychology test, me and my overconfidence *Insert crying emoji.