Hey~ I have been super busy lately and I really just wanna pump out this chapter in case i go away for a little bit ;-; Not for long though ! I will be back and better soon :D This chapter is an extra long one for you guys, because i'm feeling pretty motivated recently :) Please read and don't skip :o
As for now, please enjoy this chapter and leave comments about what you think <3
Enjoy ~
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Jungkook shot up in a cold sweat. He was holding his chest, trying to catch his breath. His head was pounding and he could barely keep his eyes open. He felt around for something to hold on to because he kicked off his blanket. He wrapped his hands around someones arm and let out a small gasp before realizing it was just Taehyung. He checked the clock. 4:39am. He sighed and took a deep breath.
He knew it was just a nightmare, but they have never felt so alive and real before. Almost like he was just there. His body felt weird and although it was quiet in his room, he couldn't hear over the constant noise in his head. He shivered at the cold air coming through his window and grabbed his blanket, making his way to the kitchen. He drank a cold glass of water and slapped his face a little to wake up. His head was still in pain and he knew he had a fever. "i th-thought it w-was over.... i thought i-i was happy n-now." He mumbled.
As much as he wanted to believe he was better and doing play, he knew that he had some doubts about everything. The whole being in a relationship thing was stressing him out and Tae was being difficult all of the time. The only thing he was certain of was that he did love Taehyung and wanted to be with him. He just didn't know how to express his feelings properly.
His thoughts were cloudy and all of this thinking was making his head still hurt. It was so loud and e could focus on anything. "g-go away.. no m-more.." He whined and plopped down on the couch. He thought maybe some TV would help him calm down. He turned on his favorite cartoon and watched silently, occasionally sipping his water. Soon, without realizing it, he began to drift back to sleep.
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Taehyung felt a little empty when he woke up. He checked the time and saw that it was already past nine o'clock. He turned to face Jungkook and give him his morning kisses, but was surprised to see an empty space next to him on the bed. He cocked his head to the side and checked his messaged in case Jungkook sent anything. When nothing came up, he frowned and got up to go look for the younger.
When he reached the living room, Jungkook was sleeping on the couch, wrapped in a blanket he must have taken from his room. The TV was still playing so Taehyung decided to turn it off. He looked at his boyfriend's sleeping form and smiled a bit. And he's all mine. He said softly to himself.
Tae decided to make a little bit of breakfast for the to of them. Once he was finished, he placed the food on the coffee table and sat on the couch to wait for the other to wake up.
After a little while, Jungkook began to whine and squirm. Tae looked over and frowned. Another nightmare? The younger opened his eyes slowly and looked straight at Taehyung. He looked unbelievably tired. "Good morning?" He chuckled slightly.
Jungkook didn't respond and just sat up on the couch, still staring at the older. Taehyung stopped smiling and sighed, reaching out to try to comfort his boyfriend. As he reached out, Jungkook flinched away from the touch. "d-don't.."
"Are you okay? What wrong?" Now Tae was a little more concerned and moved closer to the boy. Jungkook was shaking his head and moving away. "Hey, it's just me baby. Don't be scared, it's just me." He was slowly trying to get closer. "Calm down, it's okay." He said softly.
Jungkook shook his head again. "h-hurt... going to h-hurt me..." He trailed off in a shaky breath. Tae was taken back a little, but he wouldn't let himself get upset right now. He stopped moving and sat back to give the younger some space. Jungkook visibly relaxed.
"I'm not going to hurt you. Why would I do that?" Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and backed up a little more. "I would never hurt you okay? I love you so much you know that? I would never mean to hurt you ever again. Please don't be afraid anymore." When he saw that the younger wasn't calming down, he panicked a little. He looked extremely tired and out of it. Almost like he wasn't even listening to Tae. Maybe I should call Jin. His phone was on the coffee table, but he didn't want to move in fear he would scare Jungkook. "Talk to me baby, what's wrong?"
"y-you're the v-" He swallowed, "th-the same..." Taehyung cocked his head. "the v-voice.." He finally let out. Taehyung froze in place and made no movements. "y-yelling and screaming a-and you won;t l-leave me alone." Tae nodded his head slightly to show acknowledgement . Jungkook didn't seem to be looking straight at him, but he wanted to show that he was paying attention. This is bad. He needs help.
"Okay Kookie. I'm sorry for yelling okay? Please don't be scared of me anymore, I won'y yell anymore. I'll leave you alone okay?"
"b-but you'll come b-back and hurt m-me again..." Tae shook his head.
"I won't, I promise. I'll leave now okay?" He slowly reached over for his phone and stood up, leaving the room. Once he was in the hall, he peeked out to keep an eye on Jungkkook. He seemed frozen on the couch. He didn't move from his place and just covered his head.
Tae silently turned on his phone and dialed Jin's number. After a few rings, the other line picked up.
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Hello?
"Jin. What are you doing right now?"
I woke up not long ago, I just got out of the shower. Do you need anything?
"It's Jungkook. He's really not okay."
Oh no what happened?
"I think he had a nightmare last night. I found him sleeping on the couch this morning, even though we went to sleep together in his room last night. When he woke up, he was scared out of him mind. I tried to comfort him, but he kept on flinching away from me."
Where is he now?
"I left him in the living room. He said that I was some kind of voice in his head that kept yelling and screaming, but wouldn't leave him alone. He said I was going to hurt him. Hyung, I don't think he's okay. It was like he couldn't see me and me. Just some voice in his head."
Oh my god... Stay where you are. I'm coming.
"Thanks Hyung."
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Tae ended the call and looked back out to Jungkook. The boy was wrapped in the blanket again, hugging it close to himself and had his eyes shut tight. Tae frowned and felt like his whole world was falling apart.
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Around Ten minutes passed when Taehyung got a message from Jin saying he was outside. Tae got up and quietly went to open the door. Jin came inside and the two made their way back to the living room. Tae stayed out in the hall while Jin went inside and approached the small boy. "Hey Kookie." Jin whispered and crouched down to eye level.
Jungkook slowly opened his eyes and looked at Jin. He reached out and touched the older's hair. After a moment, he un-tensed and let the blanket fall off from him. Jin gave him a warm smile and opened his arms. Jungkook fell in and hugged the taller tightly. "You're okay, you're okay." Jin pulled back and looked Jungkook in the eyes. He does look very tired. "Now, can you tell me whats wrong? Are you feeling ok?"
"it's s-so loud... l-loud all of th-the time. i w-want it all to g-go away a-and leave me a-alone." Is he still in his nightmare? Jin thought.
"Okay, what's so loud sweety?" He started slow and quiet.
"everyone is y-yelling at me... i d-didn't do anything." There were tears building up now.
"Who's yelling?" Jungkook shrugged. "Am I yelling at you?" He shook his head. Jin took a breath. "Is Taehying yelling at you?" Jungkook hesitated and slowly shook his head, but started to nod reluctantly a moment later.
"i d-don't want anyone to y-yell anymore." Jin turned around and made eye contact with Tae in the hall. 'Get the Car' He mouthed, before turning his attention back to the boy in front of him. "i w-want it to s-stop yelling... stop y-yelling at me." He began to cry.
Jin frowned and sadly picked the small boy up. "You're okay, don't worry, they won't yell at you forever. Tae doesn't ever want to yell at you okay?" Jungkook didn't seem to hear him. "Hey, why don;t we go something quiet then. Yes? Do you want that?" Jungkook nodded and closed his eyes, leaning into Jin's warm body. The two males made their way to the car that Tae pulled outside. Jin sat in the back, Jungkook falling asleep in his arms.
"Is he okay?" Tae asked quietly from the front seat. Jin sighed.
"No, he's not. Drive to the hospital. He needs professional help." He looked down at the sleeping boy. "I hope it's not too late..."
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They are arrived at the hospital and Jungkook was immediately taken in for examination. Tae and Jin stayed in the lobby and were waiting for the nurse to come back. "What did he say to you?" Tae broke the awful silence.
"He said that everyone is yelling at him, but i'm guessing that he can only single out your voice because it's so similar. I doubt he's actually imagining you though. He didn't say it was you until i asked directly. Even then he was really reluctant to even agree that it was you that he was hearing. It might just be your voice, not face. I don't think he hates you Tae. He loves you. I know that."
"Hyung, am I really that bad?" Jin cocked his head. "I know I hurt him, but I'm giving him this trauma. I'm feeding into his nightmares so much that he's scared of me in real life. Maybe I should have stayed away. Maybe Jimin was right. Even though I'm trying so hard to better myself, I still have an effect him. I'm hurting him all of the time. This was all a mistake. " He places his head in his hands.
"Tae, don't say things like that. Jungkook has been through a lot. All of this isn't just you. Most of it isn't. Don't blame yourself for something you can't control right now. If you really love him, you can figure this out."
"Hyung. He's scared of me. Scared. It's not about if i love him or what I want. He's being hurt. He's in the hospital because of me. Even if it's not my fault, I obviously did something to push him over the edge." Jin frowned. "I love him so much hyung. I never want to let him go... but I don't think i'm the right person for him. He needs someone who can control themselves, and always be there for him. Someone who can help him feel safe."
"And you can't do that? Tae, you can make everything right again. I believe you. He loves you. I know that and you know that. The both of you need each other." Taehyung sighed and felt like crying.
"I didn't want any of this to happen..." He let his head hang down.
Before Jin could reply, a nurse came out. "The family of Jeon Jungkook?" Taehyung shot up out of his seat. "You are able to go visit him while we get the test results. He isn't in the best mindset right now though. Please be careful about what you say and what you do. Don't stress him out okay?" The two males nodded and made their way to the room.
Taehyung opened the door slowly and walked inside, Jin following close behind. Jungkook was sitting up on the bed watching the TV on the wall. Jin walked over to the side of the bed. "Hey Kookie." He got the boy's attention. "How are you feeling?" Jungkook shrugged a little and looked back around the room before focusing back on the TV. Jin frowned and looked back at Tae. The taller walked forward and crouched next to Jin.
"Hey baby. Are you feeling better now?" Jungkook jumped a little, making Taehyung want to walk back outside. The room was silent for a moment until Jungkook cracked a small smiled and leaned forward, hugging his boyfriend around the neck. Tae immediately hugged back and kissed the younger on the head. Jin smiled at the couple.
After pulling away, Jungkook finally spoke up. "s-sorry for making y-you guys worry..." They both frowned at how small his voice sounded. "s-sorry if i said a-anything bad..."
"D-don't be sorry sweetie, it's okay. We're fine. What matters right now is that you are okay." Jin hesitated. "Do you... Know what happened?" Jungkook looked down at the comment.
"n-not really. i r-remember-" He paused and clutched the white covers. "i-i don't want to r-remember." Jin frowned and held the small hand. It was quiet for a moment, only the sound of the cartoons on the TV were heard. "th-thank you for w-worrying about me though..." He smiled slightly before laying back on the bed and staring at the animation on the screen in front of him. Tae and Jin turned to each other and smiled a little.
At that moment, a doctor came in with a clipboard and quietly called for the two males to step outside for a moment. They stood up and followed the doctor outside. They closed the door quietly and began to talk. "So, we have some results from what we have seen from him today. He definitely suffers from trauma, and is very underweight. It seems like he has frequent fever nightmares. What he was just going through is called 'hypnopompic hallucinations'. It's where you are in the state between being awake and asleep, causing you to have hallucinations of what you were just dreaming about. Because he was technically half awake, he was aware of you and what you were saying, but his nightmare was clouding reality."
"So he was awake but in his nightmare?" Tae thought out loud.
"You could say that. It happens to quite a lot of people, and it's not too serious of a condition, but in his case it can be dangerous and very unhealthy. As for his weight... We highly recommend that you send him either to a therapist or an eating recovery center where he can be monitored and treated properly." Tae frowned at the news. "The good part is that we can help him improve and get a little bit better here before we have to let him go. So don't worry, he should get better soon." The doctor tried to comfort the clearly worried people in front of him.
"Thank you. Is he able to go home today?" Jin asked
"I'm afraid not." Both males tensed. "He is really unwell. Mentally and physically. We want to keep him here for a week or two to examine his nightmares and eating behaviors. But you can always come to visit him for a few hours a day. He will be safe under our care, so please don't worry too much." Taehyung and Jin frowned for what seemed like the hundredth time today, but none the less nodded their heads. "He will be okay." The doctor reassured.
"Can we stay with him a little longer?" The doctor nodded.
"For a few hours. We will come in and let you know when it's time to go home." He smiled. The boys thanked the doctor and walked back into the room. Jungkook was still sitting quietly watching the TV. Tae walked over to the bed and sat down next to the bot. Without taking his eyes off the screen, Jungkook leaned into Taehyung naturally and hugged his waist.
"w-what did he s-say?" He whispered.
"You'll be staying here for a little bit while they examine your current condition. But I will visit you every day for as long as I can okay?" Jungkook nodded his head a little.
"w-what's wrong with m-me... why am i s-sick..." He frowned. and burried his face in Tae's stomach. "i j-just want to be better a-again.."
"It's okay baby. You'll get better soon I promise." Tae spoke as he stroked his boyfriends soft hair.
"y-you promise?" Jungkook looked up at him with his wide doe eyes. Taehyung leaned down and pecked a kiss onto the other's small, soft lips.
"I promise."
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Welp. So sorry that I just did that to you guys ;-; But i want Jungkook to at least get help for himself ! :( This took such a turn, but do not worry, I have it pretty planned out from here on out so please be looking forward to more updates and more interesting chapters <3
Thank you so much for coming back to read my book, and actually reading through this whole chapter (i hope you did). Please comment what you think is going to happen 0-0
Thanks for Reading ~