(10/24/14)
I have come to the random realization that I only have a few friends that make me happy..
On yesterdays point.. I went home from an anxiety attack from the thought of Rubin and AJ together..
I humbly and somehow.. Decided that she deserved the happiness more than I do.. And he will chase after who he pleases and does as he wants.
Life will do what it wants too. I Don't really want a partner anyway, I'll do better solo and caring for myself. I'll be sure to stock up cash for when I'm too old to care for myself and need to be in a home.. if I last that long.. And if I die before that should happen.. I'll give the money to my nieces and nephews.
I also have the pastor today! :) I'm kinda excited for it. I mean we haven't talked in a good while and I need his guidance more than I like to admit myself.
Well.. I should return to my happiness point.. AJ and Tyler make me really happy.. I see them as my true friends.. Then Bill and Kaitlynn are nice add ons that i like to help with and are good for when I need to blend into a group. (even though I'm perfectly fine as the oddball out) And they're pretty good for when I don't want to bother AJ and Tyler.
Josh makes me happy a bit.. But I feel like he plays with my head too much so I just try to stay away honestly at this point... :/ Ar'Moni has her own people and everyone else is from the internet besides a select few that i can't think of.. Most likely due to lack of importance.
Oh well... I must go, pastor is calling the teacher!