"So, how'd your date go?" I ask, taking a sip of my soda.
Hiyori takes a deep breath and smiles, "It was nice."
"Just nice?" I press. "That doesn't sound promising. Was he boring or somethin'?"
"Oh, no, no," she states, waving her hands defensively. "It was nice because it wasn't boring. We talked and laughed and went on a little walk afterward." Her cheeks flush a soft red as she continues, "I really like him. I like him a lot, Y/N."
Looking at her, I can tell she means what she's saying. The expression on her face is the same expression that most people have when they have feelings for someone. The expression of pure and novel spring love blossoming...not that she loves the guy. It's too early for that, but regardless. She's in a good place.
"You do?" I question, lifting a brow. "Does he know? Does he seem to return those feelings?"
She shrugs, "I guess. We're going on another date next Saturday."
"That's great!" I gush, almost jumping with glee. "O.M.G.! Could you imagine if you guys end up going steady? Hiyori and Hiroki! You'd guys be the 'Hi' team!"
"That's so corny," she laughs. "If that happens, you'll need to meet him." Her eyes widen as the smile on her lips grows. "Y/N! We should find you a guy you like! That way we can go on double dates! Wouldn't that be fun?"
Despite her enthusiasm, I do not share the same thoughts on the idea. I've always thought double dates were too overwhelming and, to be honest, lame. In my eyes, a date should be for a party of two so that way they could get to know each other better and enjoy the other's presence. However, the glowing novelty of Hiyori's gleeful expression makes me choose my words carefully.
I roll my eyes jokingly and smile, "I don't know. Double dates aren't my thing and I've already told you, there're no guys I'm into."
"Come on!" she beams. "We can find you one! Come on! Come on! It'll be fun!"
A twinge pulls at my chest. I know that's a lie. it won't be fun. Nor is it anything I want to partake in. I still...I'm not...I just don't care for a relationship. Not now and, to be honest, I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready for one. Still, I don't want to disappoint Hiyori.
I shrug, "I guess. But no losers."
"I would never dream of doing that to you," she laughs. "Only the very best, of course!"
"Good. I don't wanna end up dating a bum," I chuckle.
"Agreed! Speaking of that. Did I tell you about Hiroki's family?" Hiyori continues.
She seems so happy. The smile on her face reaches her eyes as a light blush dusts over her cheeks. Honestly, I'm slightly jealous. When was the last time I was that happy? When was that last time I lit up like that? Truth be told, I know when.
It seems so long ago now, but I remember. The way he held my hand...the way he would glide his thumb over my skin...how his dark eyes met mine. He had such beautiful deep, brown eyes that almost appeared black. They reminded me of the sandy shore of Panalu'u beach in Hawai'i. So vast and warm and when the light hit them...
It hurts to think about him. It hurts so damn much and that's why I try not to. I don't like when memories of him crawl through my thoughts randomly. I don't like how it makes me smile before taking my breath away as tears trail down my cheeks. So, I try not to think about him. I simply shove anything to do with him away and fight my best to just relax.
But for some reason...
...I can't do that this time.
As Hiyori happily goes on about Hiroki, I am left flashing fake smiles, but all I want to do is cry. I want to cry because I am still so damaged and broken after what happened. I miss him. I've never stopped missing him. I'll never be able to stop missing him. In the end, I know why. It's blatantly obvious.
I still love Kaito.
**Ello lovelies! Not a whole lot that's exciting going on, but it's still another interesting glimpse into Y/N's past...kinda. Should be interesting to see what all I have planned, huh? Are y'all ready? Hope so! As always, thank you so, so much! Y'all are the bee's knees! Wuv yous!! <3**
-Noel Ross