After practice, I went to Jax's house to tutor him. I was debating with myself whether I should delete Rex's contact or leave it.
I reached Jax's house and got out of my car. I ring his doorbell and waited for him to open it.
He opens it revealing his shirtless handsome self. Who I'm upset with but I shouldn't be because telling the school Journey is his daughter is his choice. So I know I'm in the wrong but I can't help it to be upset.
"Hey, you." He spoke and move to the side so I could come in.
"Hey," I mumbled.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm just tired."
"We could do this tomorrow."
"You have a big test tomorrow."
"Oh right. Okay, I'll try to make this quick so you could get some rest." He smiles and I smiled back.
I went into his room and we got straight to studying. Well, me helping him study.
All I could think about what how easy it was for him to call Journey his sister.
Like I said I know I'm in the wrong but I couldn't help it.
When he is done I packed up my things quickly and headed downstairs.
"You're not gonna say bye to Journey."
"She's sleeping," I whispered looking down.
"Since when has that stopped you." I rolled my eyes knowing that he is right. I went into her room and kissed her forehead.
"Goodnight baby. Sleep tight." I closed the door gently. I turned around and bumped into Jax.
"What's wrong? Are you trying to avoid me? Did I do something wrong?" He asks.
"No." I tried to move but he blocks with his arms.
"Tell me. I'm not letting you go until you do."
"Was it easy to tell everyone Journey was your sister?" I asked and looked into his eyes.
His eyes harden. I know I made him upset but I couldn't help myself.
"No, is that what you've been doing all day? Just thinking about that?"
"Maybe."
"Listen I will tell them when I'm ready. This was a bad idea." He mumbles the second part.
"What was a bad idea?"
"Trusting you." He spats.
"I didn't tell anyone!"
"No, but you'll tell soon. That's how you girls always are."
"I wouldn't. I could never do that to you or her."
"We'll see about that." He rolls his eyes. "I don't understand why you're upset over my decision about my daughter." He steps away from me and starts pacing back and forth.
"I need you to get out and just don't come back. When I need help we'll just meet up at the library of something." He says sternly. "This was your last time seeing Journey."
After hearing that it felt like my world just crumbled. Journey wasn't my daughter but it felt like she was and now she's gone.
"Jax I wasn't gonna tell. I promised."
"Just get out Brynnley!" He points to the door.
A pool of tears threaten to fall out of my eyes but I just turned and left.
I've lost not 1 but 3 people I cared about the most today.
I was done for the rest of the day.
"Just get out Brynnley!" I screamed at her and pointed to my door.
She looks taken back but she doesn't say anything. Her eyes were glistening from the tears that were gonna fall.
She turns around and walks out. I go into my room and sighed gripping my hair.
I always pushed people out of my life. Not because I was afraid they were gonna tell people about Journey but because I was afraid that I would fall in love. Again.
The first time I fell in love, I got my heart broken and that's why I chose to sleep around after that. I was not going to get my heart broken again.
I can't say the kiss I had with her a couple of nights ago didn't mean anything. It meant everything to me and now she's gone because I was afraid. I let fear consume me.
I heard the doorbell and I ran down the stairs quickly expecting Brynn to come back but it was just Dylan and Kian.
"Expecting someone else?" He asks with a grin.
"No."
"We saw Brynn. She didn't look good." Kian says with a sad expression. All because of me.
"Was she crying?" I asked them and they nodded.
"Dammit," I whispered.
"What'd you do?"
"I did what I had to do. I pushed her out of my life."
"Like you do with everyone else. Yeah, we know." Dylan says.
"We just thought she was going to last a little longer," Kian spoke softly. He's obviously sad because normal Kian would be loud and obnoxious.
"I thought so too but things change."
"I guess." They sighed.
"What's your opinion on this?" I asked.
"You need to stop believing that any girl that walks into your life will break your heart. Brynn seems like a girl who wouldn't do that. In fact, she got her heart broken by the same two people who broke yours." Dylan points out.
"I just need time," I told them and they nod.
"We know but don't take too long. You could lose her." Kian says and Dylan nods agreeing with him.
Fuck.
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published: august 12th,2020
I recently hit 500 followers so thank you so so much for that. I greatly appreciate it. My book is also almost at 100k reads and I'm so grateful for that. Thank you so so much.
I want to rant a little bit. I'm not trying to come off as mean or ungrateful or what not it's just something that annoys me. I understand that you guys love my book and want me to update but pleaseeeee do not ask me to update faster like I'm updating as fast as I could. I get writers block a lot and it's because of my mental heath that's always fluctuating and going up and down. Like yes it's summer and I have the time to write but I also need to take time to also focus on being happy. Writing a book isn't just you going to put some words on a page and calling it a day. When you write a book you have to think throughly, you have to make sure it makes sense and you gotta make sure that it's somewhat fun and has a bit of drama to keep readers entertained. So please do not comment telling me to update faster. Not gonna lie it ruins my mood a lot.
Please do not take what I said the wrong way, I just want y'all to understand how I feel. I'm grateful for all of you so so freaking much.
I hope all of you are doing okay and please remember to fucking put on a mask. Geez I went to the park for a walk a couple days ago and so many people weren't wearing a mask. Like I get it you can't breathe or what not but it's for your own safety.
Anyways I love you bootyfuls, hope you enjoyed the chapter *muah*