Semi final! How excited are we?!
I can't believe this fic is coming to and end. Feels like a life time ago when I started it but somehow it still doesn't feel like enough.
I hope you guys enjoy the last two chapters💜
P. S. The three dots mean I'm changing from Iris's POV to a joint West-Allen POV 🖤💜
XOXO
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[Barry]
He was baffled by her sudden draw back and chased after her with his gaze as she walked back inside. He'd woken up when she caressed his face and felt his body shiver when she kissed his forehead but stayed completely still out of fear that he'd scare her. Yet there she was, completely shaken, like as if his touch had ignited some deeply routed fear within her.
"Iris, what's wrong?" he asked concerned as he walked in after her.
"Nothing. Just...nothing. Um I'm gonna order some room service you need to take your meds." she barely looked at him as she fumbled around disoriented, looking for the menu. He approached her cautiously and placed his hands on each of her shoulders, instantly calming her down.
"Iris. Talk to me," he whispered as he turned her around gently. She kept her eyes trained on the floor the entire time.
"Iris please. Let me in." he pleaded once again. He watched her carefully and noticed when the first tear trailed down her cheek. After that she trembled uncontrollably, her body consumed by an avalanche of sobs.
"Hey, hey. It's ok. Whatever it is you can tell me." He tried to hush her while steering her towards the bed. He sat down beside her and simply held her in his arms as she cried. It was all he could do at the moment despite his longing to do more. She was falling apart right infront of him and he didn't know why, much less how to help. He felt her slow down and left her for a few seconds, just enough time to get some tissues from the nightstand and a glass of water. She dabbed at her eyes and nose then with a shaky hand accepted the glass of water that she held up to her lips and drank from, slowly. They remained in a light silence for a while before she finally whispered,
"I'm sorry."
"That's Ok Iris. It's been a long and emotional day, I get it." He answered with a kind smile.
"No not for crying. I'm sorry about...about Eddie." she confessed, choking on the man's name like one would on something poisonous. The smile fell from Barry's face. Though he was no longer upset the sting of jealousy still hurt him.
"It's alright Iris. It's in our past. We've both done some pretty questionable things so let's just do our best to pretend like the last seven years didn't happen." he assured her.
"I can't." she whispered under her breath. "I can't pretend like the last seven years never happened because....because..." she stuttered, seeming unsure about what she wanted to say.
"You know what. This was a mistake, I'm just gonna go," she said getting up and walking out of the bedroom. She power walked into the living room that was dimly lit, in a golden-orange light, by the medium fire in the fire place.
"Iris wait!" Barry ran after her but she wouldn't slow down, she grabbed her car keys off of the tiny coffee table that sat next to the couch and was making her way towards the door when Barry yelled:
"Iris please! I love you!"
Iris stopped dead in her tracks and turned around slowly to face him.
"What?" She breathed out and he addressed her with eyes that begged her to believe what he was about to say.
"I love you Iris. I loved you before I even knew what the word love meant and leaving you was like leaving a piece of my heart behind. For seven years I've watched people tell me what I need. A new partner, a change in career, more sponsorships, a new coach but none of that ever worked. It never lasted because in my mind and in my heart I knew that what I needed wasn't a thing it was a person. It was you Iris. All I need is you." he'd walked up to her slowly while baring his heart for her to see and stood infront of her completely vulnerable, praying that she didn't turn away. And she didn't. He cupped her face between his hands and peered into her eyes, wishing that they would betray what she was feeling.
"I love you too." She whispered her eyes glossy with newly formed tears.
"And it's because I love you that I can't let you do this. I can't let you love me Barry. I don't deserve you." She turned her gaze away from him, ashamed once more.
"Don't deserve me? Why? Because you had a relationship with Eddie? Iris I dated Patti. Trust me I'm the last person to judge right now." He tried to reassure her.
"I didn't just have a relationship with Eddie, Barry. I let him break me and it would be unfair of me to ask you to put me back together. I can't even put me back together."
At that Barry's eyes widened and concern creased his brow.
"Woah hold on a second. Break you? Iris did he hurt you?" he asked and her silence was enough of an answer. He pulled her in for a hug and to his relief she hugged back.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that but I promise that I will never let anyone hurt you ever again."
Iris pulled away shaking her head.
"That's really sweet of you Bear but I can't let you do this."
"Yes you can Iris. I want to do this. I want to be there for you."
"You can't Barry!" she yelled, and he was taken a back for a second.
"Don't you get it? I'm damaged and tainted and weak. I let him do this to me!"
"Iris none of this was your fault..."
"Yes it was Barry." she interrupted.
"It was all my fault because I could have stopped it. I knew what kind of monster he was way before he hurt me and I could have walked away but I didn't and you wanna know why? Because I was weak. Because I was too afraid of being alone, of never being loved again. I was afraid of all the pain that pushed me into his arms in the first place so I decided that it would be best to fight the demon I knew rather than the ones I was running from. So I stayed. Like a coward." her breath became more strained as she fought off tears but eventually she lost the war and started crying once again. Barry steered her to the sofa and sat her down then took a seat beside her, pulling her back into his arms for comfort. He had no idea what Eddie had done to her and at that moment he wished the bastard wasn't in jail so that he could get the satisfaction of making the son of a bitch pay with his own hands.
[Iris]
Terrified. That's how Iris felt as she sat curled in Barry's arms that night. She wanted to savour the moment, commit everything about it to memory. She knew that after she told him what she had to say he would never look at her the same way. He would see her for what she trully was, a cowardly, broken girl with no hopes of ever being fixed.
"What did he do to you?" Barry whispered, almost as if the question were a mere thought he said out loud and not meant to be answered. But she answered him anyway.
"He...hit me. Badly. I...I was in the hospital for weeks after, recovering." She stuttered it was the first time she'd admitted it since it had happened but the words still left a painfully bitter taste in her mouth.
"The sad thing is I saw it coming. It started off small. He'd attack anyone that came near me, he'd break something when he got frustrated, he'd bang the walls and furniture when he was enraged. I just chalked it up to anger. He hadn't harmed me yet and I convinced myself that he just had anger management issues. Then one day he grabbed me a little too hard but he apologised and I let it slide. Then she shuved me and I got bruised but he took care of me and I brushed it off. I kept making excuses because the thought of leaving him, of being alone and facing all the pain that had lead me to him in the first place...I was afraid Barry. I didn't want to be alone." She pulled away from him, ashamed of her own cowardice and feeling unworthy of his comfort. She planted her feet onto the white, fluffy carpet and stared ahead at the dancing flames.
"But that day, on the ice, I was alone. Completely and utterly alone." she gripped the sofa on each side of her tightly as the details of 'the incident' came flooding back to her mind.
"I knew that Eddie was very competitive, but I had no idea - to - to what extent. He wanted to try something new for our routine but I didn't feel safe doing that move. It was too dangerous. So he - he came at me. First a grab. Then I - I threatened him. That's when he shoved me up against the rink walls. I tried to get away but...he was stronger. The first punch was agonising, the second was dizzying, the third - numbed me out. I fell, and - and he grabbed me, flung me across the ice, that's when I hit my head and everything went dark. I don't remember when he kicked me in the gut with his blade. All I know is that - is that I woke up in the hospital, barely...able to move and with a horrid - slash around my abdomen that - that..." She broke down and Barry pulled her close, caressing her head gently as she cried on his shoulder. Though she felt guilty for accepting the safety his embrace provided she was gratefully surprised that he didn't kick her out. Instead he kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tight every time she shook.
"Can I see it?" he asked with a degree of caution in his voice and for a second Iris forgot how to breathe. She pulled away, wiping her tear stained face, and looked at him in confusion.
"Wh-what?" She asked.
"Can I see it?" he asked yet again, this time with a bit more certainty.
"Barry, I..."
"Iris when I told you I loved you I meant it and that means loving all of you, perfections and flaws. So please, will you let me see it?" he asked. She took a shaky breath in and tried to maneuver around the knot forming in her throat while she figured out what to say. It had to be a dream or a trick of some sort. Maybe he was just in denial, he didn't believe her story was true. Yet, his eyes told her that not only did he believe her but he was willing to accept her despite it. Could she take that risk? Would it be worth destroying the image he had of her for a silly sense of security that she was being trully seen and loved for who she was? Imperfections and all? Suddenly Iris found herself back at prom, the butterflies fluttered wildly in her stomach and the memory came with a hint of pain. She didn't take a chance back then. She waited too long and lost him forever, so what if this time she didn't? What if this time she wasn't weak? What if she let him in, if she allowed her self to be brave enough to be completely vulnerable with him?
She took in another deep breath and held it as she nodded her head in response. Barry moved from his spot beside her and kneeled infront of her and when he reached for her shirt she felt her body grow tense with anticipation. Iris closed her eyes as Barry undid her pijama shirt, starting from the bottom, one button at a time. She simply sat there motionless but for the occasional trembl as ghostly sobs shook through her. She shivered with every new patch of skin uncovered and kept her eyes closed, too afraid of facing his rejection once he finally saw her greatest flaw. The scar that symbolised all that she was. Damaged, tainted, imperfect and unworthy of his affection. The protective warmth that surrounded her scarred skin was pierced by a sudden cold as Barry exposed her shame to the world. She held her breath, expecting him to back away horrified and disgusted, but was taken by surprise as she felt the sudden warmth of his lips upon her mangled skin. Her heart stopped. Was this really happening?
"Barry." she breathed out tremulously, her pitch a notch higher from her crying. Finally gaining the courage to open her eyes she looked down and realised that it was true. He was kissing her scar. Barry lifted his gaze to her and offered her a smile, placing his hands on either one of her cheeks and cupping her face.
"See. That wasn't so bad was it?" he asked softly and she chuckled. A ragged and confused sound.
"You-You're not disgusted?" she asked shakily and he planted a kiss on her forehead before he answered.
"Disgusted? Never. That scar is a mark of bravery Iris, it tells me that you're alot stronger than even I knew you were. It's a part of you and I find every part of you breathtakingly beautiful."
She couldn't believe it. Her leap of faith had paid off. For so long she'd felt nothing but the most crippling fear that she barely recognised when the joy came in and thawed her icy heart. Finally, here was someone who knew her truth and looked at her with something other than pity. Someone who was willing to love her despite her cracks and it wasn't just any someone. It was the man she'd been in love with for as long as she could remember. It was the man who's arms she knew she trully belonged in. It was Barry.
...
She leaped into his arms, knocking him down in the process, and smashed her lips to his. His hands found her waist beneath her half unbuttoned shirt and hers rested against his bare chest as they embraced eachother, at last, like two people in love. Two frozen hearts reunited.
They came up for air and she looked into his eyes that were glazed over with infatuation then she leaned in and whispered:
"I love you Barry Allen," into his ear, like a secret meant only for him to know.
"I love you Iris West," he whispered back then planted a kiss on her ear. She closed her eyes and let herself be drowned by the passion of the moment. Gently he flipped them over and continued his earlier mission, caressing her neck with his lips. The fire cackled softly in the fireplace, the only witness to their act of affectivity. They disposed of the clothing between them, their bodies famished for skin-to-skin contact, a craving they've had for all of seven years. The dancing flames cast moving shadows along her naked silhouette and Barry held his breath as he took her in. Her ebony hair was spread across the white carpet, creating a haphazardly beautiful pattern. Her chocolate skin was sinfully tantalising and soft and for the first time ever he could see each and every bit of it. Her scar melted into her, a tiny flaw in the masterpiece that somehow inhanced her beauty. He ran his thumb across it, she shivered, his member twitched.
Never in her life had she felt so alluring. She could sense his gaze ravishing each line and curve of her exposed body yet she didn't feel the need to shy away. She wanted him to see her, to know her intimately. She longed for his touch just as much as she longed to feel him. The moonlight had painted him as cool and statuesque but the fire casted him in a heated, human light. Her body ignited under his touch, almost as if possessed by a lustful deity and when his lips met hers the world grew silent. Their tongues intertwined in a languid tango, drawing out the pleasure, slowing down time. Their fingers intertwined and she arched her back as he left a trail of kisses down her chest, luring him closer.
Her warm skin smelled of honey mixed with something else. Something deliciously sweet and distinctive. Something undoubtedly her. She opened herlsef up to him, like a nocturnal flower in bloom, delicate and mesmerising, and he made himself at home between her parted legs. Ever so gently he grazed her entrance and a whispered moan eminated from her, rippling through him like a calm river. He returned his lips to hers, smothering her pleasured cries as he finally pushed into her. She gasped at the sudden but long awaited invasion and her body naturally acclimated to the feel of him inside her. Suddenly those seven years that they spent apart didn't matter and all was forgotten. They were finally together, emotionally and physically united and for the first time in their lives (despite their previous relationships) they made love.
Afterwards they laid in eachothers embrace, naked limbs intertwined before the fire, covered by a throw that was left on the couch. They rested on their sides, watching the flames dance about. His hand was around her waist, their fingers interlaced, and he peppered her back with soft, slow kisses.
"This is so surreal." she said hoarsely, satisfied exhaustion clear in her tone.
"What is?" he asked, before planting a final kiss on her shoulder.
"This. Us. Here together. So much time passed that I started to lose hope that this would ever happen." She admitted and he dipped his head and kissed her longingly.
"And now?" he asked.
"Now... I feel seventeen again. I feel like a love struck girl who wants nothing more than to be in your arms and skate. No complications, no power hungry schemes. Just us, our love and the ice." she confessed dreamily.
"Then let's do it." he said and she looked at him with a puzzled smile.
"What?" she chuckled.
"Let's do it. We're already together so why not mend our professional lives too? I mean we still have a week to go, we can still make the tryouts. Then I could give you back the life you deserve. The life that was stolen from us." he explained. She released his hand and wrapped hers around his neck, bringing his head down and pecked his lips.
"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she asked.
"You let a late and extremely scared little boy hold your hand and take you back into the ice rink." he smiled down at her, interweaving their fingers once more.
"So what do you say Iris West? Will you skate with me?" he asked and she nodded with a smile.
"Yes. Yes I will skate with you," she answered before she rolled around in his arms and pushed him back down on to the carpet. He starred up at her, his smile brightening his sea green eyes. Those eyes that she once thought she'd never see again but now couldn't imagine living with out. The eyes of Bartholomew Henry Allen. The love of her life. She smiled back at him, her heart warm and finally at peace (much like his), then she leaned in and they kissed.